


The Life that Never Lived ?? (Chamber of Secrets)

by bookhater95



Series: The Life that Never Lived [2]
Category: Harry Potter - Fandom
Genre: F/M, Reading the Books
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-02
Updated: 2019-04-04
Packaged: 2020-01-01 07:38:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 116,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18331580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bookhater95/pseuds/bookhater95
Summary: Now done with the first book, this group of five thinks they are prepared for a nice relaxing year at Hogwarts...they have no idea, and with Harry's memories still on the fritz, they won't until the very end. This copy contains no material from the book, for a source that does, email me.





	1. THE WORST BIRTHDAY EVER

After dinner they all turned in for an early night. They were all eager to start Harry's second year the next morning. Remus and Sirius decided to stay over again, they most likely would until this whole thing was over with, not that anyone else had a problem with that.

Next morning saw Lily and Harry in the kitchen, Lily at the stove and Harry at the table, with the three other boys and the baby goofing off in the living room. Lily and Harry were talking about nothing, just enjoying each other's company.

The boys were still speculating what else had happened in their future, and making some notes on a bit of parchment so they wouldn't forget some of the details.

Then the alarm went off, signalling someone had just apparated onto their property.

They all reacted in an instant, Lily and Harry coming into the other room, while Remus quickly stuffed the parchment in between the sofa cushions.

James already had baby Harry in his lap, so he took hold of his other son's arm, and began toting them both upstairs.

"At least try to act normal-" he heard Lily telling them.

No sooner had they reached the upstairs landing than they could hear the front door opening. While James could guess who it was by the welcoming tones from his friends, they had all previously decided not to take any chances on Peter freaking out and doing something, so they'd come up with this plan.

Pushing the door to baby Harry's room open, James set his infant son down into his cradle, then used his wand to tap on a precise blank spot on the wall on the opposite side of the room.

A panel opened up, and James tossed the invisibility cloak to Harry, saying, "Stay out of sight no matter what, okay? You can take the cloak off when Remus comes to get you, and he's going to say the moment he steps in the room, 'Okay cub, who wants carrots?' Got it?"

Harry nodded quickly, throwing the cloak over himself. He kind of considered the use of a pass-code a bit extreme, but there was no time to argue the point. James paused for a moment to make doubly sure no bit of Harry could be seen, then he took his baby back up in his arms and made his way out of the room, cooing loudly to him.

Harry only lasted ten minutes in the room before the curiosity won out. Tiptoeing as quietly as possible, he made his way out of the baby's room, and crept down the stairs, stopping half way so he could just peek into the living room below.

Why he was doing this, he couldn't even explain fully to himself. It was a feeling though, the same one he had upon first meeting everyone in this house. Seeing his parents for the first time, he'd felt longing. He knew he had never met these people before, and he was eager to learn all he could about them now. Then after that initial feeling, it had faded to be replaced by his empty memories that were slowly being filled in.

With Remus and Sirius, it had been the same, but different. He felt sad. Not like he'd never met them before and wanted to, but like he had only known them briefly in his life and wanted to spend more time with them. Again, that feeling had faded, and he could only recall it when he stressed himself late last night lying in bed and trying to understand the jumble of his life.

This Peter, somehow he just knew he would have another feeling when he met him. He was hoping that his parents were wrong, and that one of his dad's old friends had survived, and Harry would meet him and feel a sense of connection to him like he had with his other two friends.

Then he laid eyes on the man.

Hatred. He had disliked Snape from the moment he'd heard his name, he did not like the Dursleys, but when he saw the profile of Peter Pettigrew, he felt a burning desire to curse him right there on the spot. Sadly, like meeting the others, the feeling faded away as soon as he recognized what it was, and he was left staring blankly at what could possibly be another uncle to him.

He was sitting on the sofa, bouncing the baby around in his arms and talking to all of his family. They all seemed happy, without a care in the world. Harry noticed at once though, that the books containing his life were absent. Peter didn't look confused or upset about anything, which meant that they must not have told him about adult Harry yet.

He didn't know why, but decided not to reveal himself before they decided otherwise. So he crept back up to his room, and waited patiently.

After at least an hour, Remus came in and said the pass code, and Harry took off the cloak and handed it to him. Remus walked over and put the cloak away like James had taken it out, and Harry briefly wondered if you just had to know where that spot was, or if it was specific to certain wands?

He didn't ask, and instead walked down to see that there wasn't anyone new in the room. "Where's Peter?" He asked eagerly, more than wanting to meet another friend of his father's.

James and Sirius exchanged an odd look, before Sirius said, "We asked him, kind of joking, if he had time to stick around for a week, and that we had something really important to show him."

"Then he brushed us off," James said, looking more upset by the minute. "Said he didn't have time right now, ask him again next month. Next month! Can you believe that?"

"I asked him what was so important," Remus said, rubbing his jaw and looking at the door with troubled eyes, "and he said he was just really busy, and changed the subject."

"I asked him when he would be back around," Lily added, "and he said he didn't know."

Harry was looking at all of their confused and hurt faces, and seriously considered telling them the feeling he'd had. Vague as it already was in the back of his mind though, he reconsidered at once. What if he was wrong? He may not have been yet, when it came to these odd gut feelings, but he didn't want to start now, and stir up more trouble between this group. No, he finally decided, he would sit on this until he had a more definite reason.

"Do you think he was suspicious that I told him to write before he came back over?" Sirius asked, worrying his lip a bit, "I mean we reacted pretty well this time, but we were expecting him. Next time, Harry might not get upstairs fast enough, or…" he trailed off fidgeting a bit, then blurted, "anyone else feel like something's wrong here?"

They all nodded, but couldn't explain why they felt this way. Wanting dearly to change the subject, Harry asked "So, since we've already had breakfast, want to start the next book?"

After a bit of muttering, they did eventually agree, and all went back to their spots from yesterday.

"It's my turn right?" Lily asked, waving her wand. The books appeared with a small pop right where they had been before. Lily picked up the one that had a large silver two on the side of it, and flipped it open, saying, "I only hope it skips right to you at Ron's place, or even better back at school. I don't think I can stand seeing you being ignored and depressed."

Harry pursed his lips and said nothing as his Mum started;

"What do they argue about? Who's more awful?" Sirius asked.

"That's odd," James said. "Why would Hedwig be hooting like that? Most owls are fairly quiet," he explained, forgetting half the time that his own owl sat perched in the living room.

"Try it," Remus said dangerously, "she's not yours to give away, git."

"What does that mean, cooped up?" Lily asked, narrowing her eyes.

Harry fidgeted for a moment, but recognized they were about to find out anyway, so admitted, "they were locking her up. I had to keep her cage on top of a bin, and I could only feed her what I nicked from the table."

"They have no shame do they!" Sirius spluttered, "They can't lock you up in that cupboard anymore, so they lock up the defenseless animal!"

"She could die that way!" Remus growled. "Animals can't be kept in captivity like that without suffering from depression, and death if it goes on long enough!"

"Magical owls especially," Lily agreed. "They're more intelligent than your run of the mill owl, so if you keep them locked up, they'll die even sooner!"

Harry felt a deep, gut wrenching pain for Hedwig all of a sudden, for one brief second he was sure that she had died. Then he shook it off, and said quietly, "Please keep going Mum."

They all still looked furious, but Lily simply decided to keep going.

"I don't need to see him to know the answer to how stupid he looks," James grumbled.

"The bird will live if you let it out, oh the horror," Remus growled.

"Yeah, cause schools limit food," Harry muttered, as Dudley's bottom was described hanging off the chair.

"That's disgusting," Sirius gagged.

"What, are manners that rare around there?" James demanded.

"The M word?" Lily choked.

"That overreaction was because you said the word magic?" Remus demanded.

"They're insane," Sirius said faintly.

Harry sighed, this was going to be a long chapter if his family was still shocked and upset by the Dursley's massive overreactions to anything he ever did.

"I don't get why he thought that was a threat?" Remus demanded.

"I wish someone would threaten him," James muttered.

"Do we get to talk about yours at least?" Remus pretended to ask politely.

"Probably broke her back," Lily muttered.

"Guess they took my threat of blowing up the house for real, and they're just cautious of the wrong wizard," Sirius said brightly.

"Really Harry, you're not that weird," Lily said, "you are far more normal than I would have given you credit for with a father like yours."

"Oi!" James hooted, only pretending to look offended.

"I didn't think this could get any more depressing than last time," Remus sighed, "and I hate to be proven wrong."

"I can sympathize" Sirius agreed. Sirius had mentioned his bad home life several times now, and Harry decided he would like to ask why, perhaps after this chapter.

"Nobody ever misses him," James reassured him.

"We know what the game is, why did you explain it?" Remus asked.

"I didn't, the book did," Lily said, shrugging.

"So many insults I want to say, I can't decide where to start," Sirius groaned.

"Not even a remote possibility," James reassured when he saw how upset Harry was beginning to look.

What Harry didn't mention was that, yes he was upset about all of these things, but what he felt most upset about was what he now remembered this day was. Uncle Vernon had yelled at Harry about his use of the 'M' word on his twelfth birthday. Up to this day, his two friends hadn't written to him all summer.

For some reason though, he did remember something else odd happening on his birthday. Some kind of dinner party gets ruined? But the Dursley's rarely even acknowledged his birthday, why would they throw him a whole party this year?

Deciding against forcing a memory he was sure his mother was fixing to read, he let her go on.

"Having you in the family is a matter of deepest shame!" James snapped.

Lily bitterly remembered a time back when she would have yelled at James for saying something like that. Now she was going over the paperwork in her head that she would have to do so that Petunia Dursley would no longer be considered her sister. While, yes, she and her boys fully intended that their little baby Harry would never have to go through anything like this, she would rather be safe than sorry that Harry had ever gone to live there.

"Merlin forbid Harry be able to talk to anyone," Sirius grumbled.

"That's not even how owl post works," Lily rolled her eyes, "Petunia knows that, because I wasn't allowed to have an owl living with my parents, but I still got mail from my friends all the time."

"Guess she didn't tell her husband that," James cackled.

"And we thank Merlin for that," Remus said.

"Yeah, we just curse him that you have to look like these two," Sirius snickered.

"Better than looking like you," James snorted.

"Hey, who got all the girls at school?" Sirius said, clearly bringing up a familiar jab.

"Only 'cause my heart was bound for one!" James said dramatically.

"Heather Valson," Lily said without looking round at him.

James looked truly wounded as he defended, "You will never let her go will you? I told you I only dated her to make you jealous, and-"

"Yes, yes," Lily rolled her eyes before reading on loudly.

"Oh bloody hell," all three boys groaned, "Harry why are you thinking about this right now?"

Harry sighed, "I think about this a lot, sorry."

Lily tried to keep her tone as normal as possible as she read.

"I'll admit, that's odd enough any kid would think about it a lot," Remus agreed.

"Brought up is putting it loosely though," James muttered darkly.

Lily didn't stop as her three boys started muttering obscenities at this lie all over again, she kept reading, hoping Harry would get distracted soon so he wouldn't think about this much longer.

"I've known dogs treated better than you were," Remus said in disgust.

"I can't decide if that was a crack at me or not?" Sirius asked, which Remus ignored.

"Great, just what I wanted, for Harry to get another birthday ignored. What are the odds Hagrid shows up again on this day?" James asked without any real hope.

Harry shook his head sadly from side to side, but said, "I think something odd does happen that day, but I can't remember," he told them honestly, forcing his hand to remain at his side rather than start rubbing his temple again.

Lily decided to take this as a good sign and read the next part sadly.

"Bloody hell, did Vernon get replaced?" James asked.

"Don't question it, be thankful and hope it lasts," Remus said.

"Well, it was a nice thought while it lasted," Remus sighed.

"Hope the deal goes belly up," Sirius muttered.

"Oh!" Harry said.

"What?" Lily asked, looking concerned.

"I remembered a dinner party for some reason, but I knew it couldn't be for me. Guess now I know," he answered with a shrug.

Lily didn't look very happy that Harry seemed to shrug this off so easily.

Harry however, was still thinking that something odd happened on his birthday, now he was thinking it was something bad. What though?

"I can only hope they're as disgusted with these Dursleys as we are, and run at a moment's notice," Sirius said.

"And take Harry with them," James added.

"I want to retch at the very thought," Remus muttered.

"Sure, if they're dumb, deaf, and dolts!" Sirius laughed.

"Best place to be honestly," Lily said, fighting back another wave of anger, "I wouldn't want you to have to deal with them anymore then you normally have to."

"I feel like if she touches him, she'll come away with a grease covered hand," Remus joked.

"I was wrong, she's blonde, blind, and full of bollocks," Sirius cackled.

"How many times is he going to make you say that?" James demanded.

"I think one more time," Harry said honestly.

"Honestly, my birthdays were better than that," Sirius said in disgust.

"You have to prepare for compliments?" Lily demanded.

"Well, since I'm sure they can't think of anything nice to say on the spot, I'm going with yes," James offered.

All four boys in the room cracked up laughing at that, not bothering to hide their mirth one bit at this pompous gits over play.

"I knew it," Sirius grumbled.

Remus turned to look at him, "knew what?"

"I noticed it last time," Sirius huffed, "but have any of you heard any of them call Harry by his actual name? They just always call him boy whenever they can!"

Any traces of amusement were gone from the room as they all came to this stunning conclusion.

Harry was simply surprised Sirius had been the one to notice this, it hadn't ever really occurred to him.

"I'm sorry I ever called you that," James said at once, mentally berating himself every time he had said 'that's my boy' or anything like it.

"Don't be," Harry replied easily, "you guys don't mean it the same way they do, and so it doesn't bother me when you do it."

They all still looked genuinely annoyed at yet another tidbit of those foul Dursleys' treatment of their boy, but Lily finally came-to enough to read on.

"Wish I didn't know anything about you," Lily muttered.

"Just out of curiosity, would they have brought you, or left you home, or…?" James trailed off.

Harry frowned, and said, "I've no idea, for some reason they don't go, I think I did something to mess this up, but I can't rememb-"

"Stop right there," Remus said forcefully. At Harry's surprised and almost hurt look, he continued, "No one believes for one second you would do anything intentionally to mess this up for them, so don't you go saying it was your fault. I'm sure they just blamed it on you after the fact, and that's what you're remembering."

Harry hesitated, but nodded at him all the same. He wanted very much to believe him, but there was something he really couldn't remember. Someone maybe?

"Really? Cause the way I hear it, he just stomps through the house with muddy shoes all the time, and I think that would make it far easier," James growled. He couldn't stand the way this man talked to his son.

"Okay, that almost made me cry," Sirius said, wanting to get up and hug the boy.

"Don't," Harry said quickly.

This got a weak smile out of them at Harry's expression, but not much else at this depressing thought.

"I'm sure they just haven't gotten there yet," James said bracingly, as Harry looked truly upset by this turn of events.

Harry wanted to mutter, 'no, someone didn't let them through,' but stopped himself before that could slip out. Who on earth would be stopping his mail? And, for that matter, why?

With no answers and the beginnings of a pounding headache already, he simply agreed and Lily kept reading.

"Agreed, letters just don't always cover that feeling," Sirius said sadly.

James and Remus looked a little guilty, but both had their reasons why they couldn't have their friend over to their houses for all of the summer. Sirius never seemed to hold this against them, he understood those reasons.

Lily felt a growing sense of depression. Not for Harry, that had already been there since the first chapter of the last book, but for Sirius. She had thought through most of school that, as bigheaded as James was, maybe if he wasn't egged on by his best friend so much, he wouldn't be that bad. Sometimes she hated Sirius Black more than James. Now, she both regretted and felt depressed for ever thinking so bad of him, when it was clear his home life had been almost as bad as Harry's. Sure she had heard a few snide comments from Sirius now and again, but like Harry it seemed, the man had never bothered going into full details, at least not with her.

She hadn't realized she had been staring at him so long, until James said loudly, "Earth to Lily, are you done ogling my friend? Honestly, any other husband would be jealous long before now!"

Lily snorted and tore her eyes away, back to the book saying, "Not in this lifetime."

"What?!" They all yelped in shock.

"Lily, you must have read that wrong," James said, craning around Harry to get a look.

"No." Lily snapped, her shock turning to anger at once, then she rounded on Harry and said, "Why not? Hermione I can believe, she might not have an owl being from a muggle family, but Ron must!"

Harry was frowning, running his hand through his hair as he said slowly, "They, something's wrong, someone-" then he broke off, his eyes scrunching up in pain.

"Okay," Remus breathed, "alright, you can't answer. We understand."

Harry nodded and leaned back into the couch, looking frustrated.

"I'm sure there's a reason," Sirius said at once, "you don't get friends like that and then they don't write."

Lily nodded, feeling rather foolish for blowing up so easily. She was just on edge, fearing they were going to spend far too long with Harry at the Dursley's, and that made her almost as anxious as thinking of him back in front of a three headed dog. Speaking of, she quickly changed the subject to help relax her son fully, "I meant to ask Harry, what ever happened to Fluffy? He doesn't need to be guarding the Stone anymore."

It worked, and Harry broke out into a smile saying, "I asked Hagrid that before I left last year. He said he released him into the forest."

The three Marauders looked like someone had just told them their best friend died.

"You don't mean the Forbidden Forest, you know, behind Hogwarts?" James said, waiting for Harry to laugh at him at any moment.

"Yes," he said, wondering why his father would say it like that, "how many other forests could he be released into?"

"I am done with my life," Sirius groaned, placing his head into his hands.

Lily looked pityingly at them, but couldn't think of anything else to do but read.

"Guessing you don't know how to pick locks the muggle way then?" Remus asked sadly.

"No." Harry said honestly, having an odd vision of a redhead doing this very thing, but it was gone before he could hold onto it, so he asked, "Why, do you?"

"Yep," James said happily, "Peter taught us."

Lily decided she'd rather like her son to learn this skill. Most wizards didn't think of the muggle ways when magic proofing stuff, so this could come in handy for much more than opening the poor owl's cage.

Then she realized what she was thinking, and she felt more chagrined than anything that these trouble makers were rubbing off on her.

Lily frowned in real confusion, because Petunia should have known this. After all she'd grown up with her sister constantly reminding her that she wasn't to do magic, so why hadn't she obviously not told the others? Was it possible she was still in such deep denial she didn't have a sister at all that she simply forgot this fact? It was all Lily could think of.

"If they ever shove you back in there again-" James began to threaten but Harry cleared his throat loudly and said, "I can promise you, I wouldn't fit in there anymore, so they can't. I was just exaggerating that."

"For some reason, that didn't make any of us feel better," Sirius grumbled in disgust.

"I can't believe I'm getting this depressed, and we're not even halfway through the first chapter," Lily muttered.

"Now that's taking it a bit far," Remus snorted, "why would you ever want to see that prat?"

Harry just shrugged, he had been feeling really desperate at the time.

"And here I was hoping to try and not think about that for a whole minute," James sighed, "now you're thinking it for me."

"Sorry," Harry said honestly.

Lily paused for a moment to lay a hand softly on Harry's. He still looked truly upset by the matter, but she also understood that he didn't want to talk about it now. He probably still wasn't used to the idea that there were people around that he could talk to, that did care.

"It did what?" James asked, thinking Lily had read that wrong.

"Think McGonagall decided to come back?" Remus asked, lips twitching in a smile.

"I guess I kind of agree," Sirius said, giving the book an odd look, half cautious and feeling a bit paranoid for the caution, and half curious, "it might have just been a cat roaming around."

James gave a slow clap of approval, saying, "I always enjoy your wit son."

Harry cracked a grin at him, finally distracted from what he was sure he had been fixing to remember. Yet trying to remember even a few hours later into that day were costing him dearly, his head pounding again at once.

"More friends than you have," Sirius snapped, riling up at once.

"Perhaps he doesn't even know what friend means," Remus snorted.

"We need to have a talk about vivid mental imagery, and when it's going to make me sick," James gagged.

Lily cracked a grin at this, happy to see Harry really was standing up to these people, and said to him, "Remind me later and I can give you a few suggestions."

All four boys cracked up laughing.

"Right in one!" Sirius crowed.

All of the adults couldn't help feeling a sense of pleasure at Harry, happy to see him standing up to this bully.

Lily paused, looking genuinely confused at what she read, so she reread that sentence. Twice. Then the book finally slipped from her fingers and made a thunk noise on the floor, which went unheard as it finally sunk in what she had said.

Harry tried, he really did, but they weren't listening to him. They weren't even yelling this time, which was the scariest part to him. They just kind of sat there with a look of stunned disbelief on their faces. Lily snapped out of it first, then calmly got to her feet and made towards the front door.

Harry stumbled to his feet after her, saying things like, "She missed, she knew I was going to duck-" but Lily didn't hear one jot of it. Then when she actually opened the front door and began walking to the barrier point where she could apparate and really kill Petunia Dursley, Harry bellowed at her, "You promised!"

She froze. Wand in hand, red hair flying about in the cold October breeze, jaw twitching. She wasn't angry anymore, she was far past that simple emotion. All she could see, over and over in her mind, was her little sister playing dolls with her, growing up to aim a frying pan at her own nephew's head.

"She could have killed you," Lily whispered.

"But she didn't," Harry said, approaching her cautiously, "I- I don't have any defense for her, or any of them. But you did promise, you said you would wait until these books are over, and they're not. Mum, please, you have to believe me, if you leave this house, something bad is going to happen. I don't know what, but I know it's true. So you've just gotta wait until I've got all of my memories back. Please."

He couldn't help it, his voice broke on the last word. Why he was so sure of this fact, he'd no idea, but he had never been more positive of anything his whole life.

"Why could Peter leave then?" James asked.

Harry and Lily turned, and saw all three boys standing in the doorway. Harry sucked in a deep breath, shaking his head from side to side, "I don't know. I just, it's this feeling. I understand why you don't trust me on that, but-"

He was cut off by his mother throwing her arms around him. She whispered in his ears, "We do believe you. It's just," her voice broke off, but this time she nearly screamed, "she could have killed you!"

Harry winced, and rubbed his ear, but he honestly had nothing to say to that. Yes, but he had ducked. Yes, but so what? Yes, but no one would have believed him if he'd ever mentioned it, so why should he or anyone care?

For a very long time in his life, he'd had no answer to any of these questions, but as his mother released him, took his hand, and lead him back inside, he was beginning to wonder if he had found an answer.

Harry came back in to find that baby Harry was nowhere to be seen, and that the living room had been torn apart. Harry cast curious looks around at them, but none of them said a word. Lily simply waved her wand, and most of the damage was repaired at once, the only thing missing was that no fire returned to the fire place. Probably a good thing, since Harry decided to say, "I'm warning you now. I think something bad happens tonight. I meant what I said earlier, I did something to ruin this dinner party, and I get in a lot of trouble for it. Plus, I know Aunt-"

"Don't." Lily snarled, her green eyes looked like they were about to light on fire as she spat. "Don't you ever refer to them as any kind of family. Especially her."

Harry nodded warily, wanting to take a step back from her, but quickly rephrased, "I know I'm going to pay dearly for messing with Dudley right then. Chores, I do lots of chores," he frowned, but shrugged saying, "but I meant what I said. They never hit me, and I learned to duck a lot?"

"Was that supposed to make us feel better?" James finally spoke up, nobody paying any attention to the way his voice cracked.

Harry looked beseechingly at them, but had no response for that whatsoever.

Hastily trying to change the subject, he asked, "Where did, err, the baby go?" He felt rather odd asking where himself went, but didn't know how else to phrase it.

James eyed the ceiling for a moment before looking back down at Harry and saying, "I took him to his room when Remus blew up the sofa he and Sirius were sitting on. Set up the baby with a playpen, forced myself not to jump out the window and follow through with what I knew Lily was thinking about doing. Then I came back down, saw that Sirius had set the carpet on fire-"

"By accident!" Sirius cut in.

"And then we put it out and realized you two were out front."

Harry snorted, unable to help but be amused at what he considered an overreaction when they themselves had said the Dursleys had overreacted at breakfast. He decided against bringing that up.

Lily made her way back to the couch, muttering obscenities under her breath that weren't making her feel any better. Then she picked up the book and started reading again.

The others made their way back to their spots as well, all of them more afraid and anxious then they had been when Harry had been in life threatening situations the year before, because they knew he was okay from those, as he had no permanent injuries. This though, this was something else, and just as awful. Harry had clearly suffered at their hands, more than any mountain troll could do to him. As Lily found her place and got started, they were all dreading what was to come.

"You and me are going to have a talk about how the Dursley's didn't starve you," James snarled.

Harry just gave him a blank look, hoping his mother would get through this as fast as possible.

"What, you're saying he couldn't be bothered to clean every tile of the roof as well?" Sirius growled, almost shaking with rage by this point.

Harry tried very hard not to be as upset now as he was then. He trusted his family when they said his friends must have a reason for not writing to him. He wanted to trust his own feelings that they really were his friends. It still hurt though, and the bad mood circling the room like a thick storm cloud wasn't helping in keeping his spirits up much.

"I can't take much more of this" Remus vowed, leaning back in the seat and pressing his palms to his eye lids. This didn't help much, since instead of seeing Harry in front of him, all he could keep picturing were these awful images Lily kept reading, so he quickly blinked the spots out of his eyes and listened.

Lily couldn't help the shaking in her voice as she read that. He'd gone out there during breakfast! He might have passed out from heat stroke, or any number of things! He hadn't eaten all day!

Harry looked desperately around the room, wishing he knew a sticking charm to keep the doors, and possibly the windows, closed. He knew Remus, or any of them, hadn't been joking when they'd said they couldn't take much more of this, and Harry had a nasty feeling they hadn't even gotten to the worst part yet. He cast his mind around, trying to come up with a question for later to help keep them calm.

Harry was surprised when no one interrupted his Mum this time, but one glance around and he guessed it was simply to do with the fact they wanted this horrid day to be over with, and thought not talking would help that along quicker.

"What?" Sirius finally broke the long period of silence.

"I don't care who it is, so long as they move off of Harry's bed," James huffed.

"I do!" Lily snapped at once, "Harry, do you have any idea who it was?"

Harry sat puzzling over that for a moment before saying slowly, "A friend? But I can't remember, he's not human-"

"We'll take that for now," Remus reassured as Lily passed the book to James for his turn. James didn't look very eager.

* * *

While I did seriously (Shut up Sirius!) consider keeping Peter in for just this book, I knew I wouldn't keep him around for any but this one, and then there would be the whole 'what happened in the last book' and I didn't want to either delay and have time out for him to read that by himself or them to explain stuff and, honestly, I don't like Peter's character that much. I've tried writing out something for him before, and I just couldn't get his characterization right because I don't have any kind of connection to him like I do the other four characters. In my other series, the After series as I refer to it, Peter will make more of an appearance and I'll explore it a little more in there, but because I left him out of the first book don't expect him, or any other characters to be honest, to make appearances for this.

I'll have chapters for this up Tuesdays and Thursdays, and likely a few Saturdays as well, either until the books are all caught up with my other profiles, or until further notice, whichever happens first.


	2. DOBBY'S WARNING

Before he got started, James turned to Harry and said, "Were all of those chores you had to do the 'bad' thing that happened to you today, or did it have something to do with the person in your room?"

Harry looked puzzled for a moment before saying honestly, "No, the chores were pretty normal, and I don't have a bad feeling about this thing in my room. What's bothering me is that it's not a 'person' like a witch or wizard, but I can't…" he trailed off in frustration, missing the devastated looks from the others when they heard that what had happened on Harry's birthday seemed positively normal to the boy.

James didn't think he could take much more of his son's honesty without keeling over so he just decided to read.

"Odd," Remus drew the word out.

"Is there any more of a description?" Sirius asked, thinking he might know what it was, but wanting a bit more detail.

"No," James said, having an idea as well, but he kept reading to be sure.

"Is that a house-elf?" Remus blurted out.

Harry frowned, rubbing his temple again, and saying 'Yes' without even realizing he'd done it.

"What on earth is a house-elf doing at your house?" James demanded, "It's obviously not mine."

"You own a house-elf?" Lily yelped, as it certainly didn't live there with them.

"Well, my parents do," he rephrased.

"I never saw it when we went over there," Lily admitted.

"Oh, she's a small little thing, I hardly ever saw her and I lived there," James agreed.

"We're getting off topic," Sirius cut in. "Why is there a house-elf at your house?" He repeated James' earlier question.

Harry just shrugged. "I've no idea what a house-elf even is, let alone why it would be there."

"A house elf is a creature," Sirius said in an odd tone, clearly thinking he was being funny.

Harry frowned and pressed the heel of his hand to his temple, the jolt of pain now familiar, though no less unpleasant.

"That's not funny Sirius." Remus said, smacking his friend lightly. He then proceeded to give Harry a brief description of House-Elves.

Harry nodded along, feeling very grateful that what he was hearing now didn't hurt nearly as much as before, and when he was done James continued reading.

"See, even James calls it a creature!" Sirius said proudly, then ducked when Remus made to hit him again.

Harry really wanted to ask about that joke, but James had already carried on.

Lily still couldn't help but grit her teeth in disgust at this, despite the nice distraction she had in front of her, she couldn't get the image of Petunia swinging a frying pan at Harry out of her mind.

"Must be on his master's orders," James said at once. "Don't suppose the Weasleys' have one?"

"Not that I know of, but who knows?" Sirius said.

"This is getting weirder and weirder," Remus muttered, "who sends a house-elf to send a difficult message? Or any message?"

"I'm still thinking it's from Ron," Sirius piped up, "maybe he realized Harry wasn't getting any mail, and sent Dobby to find out why."

Harry was frowning, feeling like that wasn't the case at all, but he had no real way to know the answer.

"Jeez, what's with this one?" James muttered.

If that thing gets Harry into trouble…" Lily began.

"I'm sure it will be fine," James soothed, "if Dobby would quit stalling and deliver his message, he'll be gone in an instant. Nothing more to it."

Harry was still frowning, wondering if Dobby did have something to do with the bad feeling he'd had earlier.

Lily was now frowning, feeling a little bad for her outburst at the poor thing. "Are all house elves treated like that?" She asked, since she had never actually seen one in person.

"Most are, yeah," Sirius said in an offhand voice.

Harry and Lily frowned at him, he seemed a little too casual about this, but James was already going on.

"Can we see that expression now?" Remus laughed.

Harry made a face at him, but it wasn't the one Remus had asked for, making him laugh harder.

"Oh this will be fun!" Sirius said in a chipper tone of voice.

Before anyone could ask, James read,

"What on earth is he doing?" Lily demanded.

"Punishing himself for speaking ill of his masters," Sirius shrugged.

"You sure seem to know a lot of about that!" Lily snapped in disgust.

He just rolled his eyes at her and said, "My parents have a house elf too, nasty, ugly thing. Pretty much what this one is going through now is how I watched them train Kreacher."

Harry gasped, but it went unnoticed when Lily almost yelled, "And you don't care about it one bit?!"

Harry was having another of those moments in his head, but only vaguely. He had the strongest feelings about someone when he met them, with the exception of Ron and Hermione when they were first mentioned in the books, so it was sort of hazily that he thought he knew Kreacher, perhaps as a friend? He didn't have long to think about it, since James and Remus were trying very hard to get a real argument between the other two adults back under control. When Harry phased back into the conversation, Lily was shouting "-that doesn't make it right!"

"It bloody well does!" Sirius shouted back, ignoring Remus trying to calm him down, "I watched that loon-"

"Enough!" James and Remus snapped at the same time, finally silencing the two.

Lily did not look any kind of happy with him, while Sirius was bright red in the face, anger etched into the lines. Harry opened his mouth to ask, wondering what he had missed while turning over his little revelation in his mind, but when the quiet dragged on into uncomfortable levels, James just picked the book back up and forcefully read on.

"The more I think about it," Remus said cautiously, hoping not to ignite the fire still rampant in the room, "the more I think we were wrong about this house elf belonging to the Weasleys. They don't seem the type that Dobby wouldn't consider 'decent wizards'."

"Yeah, which makes this that much weirder," James agreed.

"So that's a no." Sirius said, finally stopping glaring at Lily and turning his attention back to the book, "Which makes this unheard of. What house-elf would go anywhere without being told to, or at least addressing its family first? Most don't even leave the property."

James huffed, why did all of these odd things have to happen to his son? Now of all days? He was starting to agree with Lily though, if this conversation kept dragging on, he was a little worried himself that Harry might get caught.

Lily actually let out a slight growl in her throat at these words, but Sirius just huffed and said, "Start a petition or something if you don't like it, but please don't sit here and preach to us about centuries of tradition."

Lily looked disdainfully at him, but ultimately concluded that yelling at Sirius would do no good to the population as a whole.

Harry decided he had finally thought of his question to ask when things went bad later.

"Poor thing," James said in real sympathy.

"Damn, whoever owns him is a lot crueler than I would have thought," Remus said in disbelief.

"That's not how it works," Sirius told him, cutting James off with a smirk.

James just huffed and actually read.

"Don't start that now." Lily said, frowning at Harry, "I feel bad for Dobby, but what they're doing to you is actually illegal."

Harry nodded at her, deciding to accept this and not argue the point.

"Not hardly," James muttered in disgust.

"Well, I wouldn't call making Voldemort disappear 'a load of rubbish'," Remus said fairly, "give yourself some credit."

"It's not something I feel particularly proud of." Harry sighed, often times wishing he hadn't, and that his parents were still alive. A rather odd feeling now, sitting in the living room and talking to them like it was a perfectly normal day.

"Can't blame you for that," Sirius sighed.

"Poor dear," Lily sighed in pity.

Harry couldn't help but agree with his younger self. His family had convinced him his friends hadn't abandoned him then, but it still smarted that he hadn't been able to talk to them for so long over that summer. That wasn't even getting started on how he felt now, completely cut off from them.

"Excuse you," Sirius said in disgust.

"You've got to be joking!" Remus spluttered.

"He has to go back!" Lily yelped.

"Well don't yell at me, I didn't actually say it," James defended, just as upset as the others.

"Why would Dobby say that?" Lily turned to Harry.

Harry was really trying to think on the matter, but as always he drew a blank, and simply shrugged.

"Well," James said, turning back to the book, "with any luck Dobby will actually explain."

"I could say the same thing about last year," Harry said, "and I survived that just fine."

"That didn't make me feel better," James said, frowning at him.

"What, did Voldemort possess another teacher again?" Sirius snorted.

"Don't even joke about something like that!" Remus yelped, going pale as a sheet.

"Sorry," he said, looking a bit ashamed at the way they were all staring at him.

"Well, Harry's fixing to ask him why, so let's see then," James said.

"Can't believe none of you interrupted me to ask that," James snorted.

"Harry seems the type to ask without our prompting," Sirius said brightly.

Harry chuckled a bit.

"For the love of Merlin, say no," Lily whimpered.

"Thank you," Lily said, sounding more surprised than actually grateful.

"Uh, anyone got an idea?" Remus asked.

"That wasn't even a hint really," Sirius said in confusion, "he just said who it wasn't."

"Not that anyone's aware of," James said, shuddering at the very thought of two Voldemorts.

"I would really like him to stop doing that now," Lily groaned, hating all this loud noise Dobby was apparently making.

"Lily, you said-" Sirius began.

"Not because it's wrong, which it is," she snapped, "but because Harry is supposed to be upstairs, being quiet! This is the opposite!"

"Oh." All three men went pale when they realized what Lily meant.

"Is this the bad thing you mentioned?" James asked, looking a bit sick. "Does Dobby get you into trouble?"

Harry wanted very dearly to say no, but the word just wouldn't come out. So James instead read Harry's face correctly, and then groaned like someone had just kicked him in the gut.

"What kind of trouble?" Lily demanded, starting to shake a bit.

Harry was fidgeting all over, still not wanting to answer them, since he couldn't really remember himself. He just knew it had been bad, a new low at the Dursleys' place. Mentally debating the pros and cons of this, he finally said as much out loud, then added, "Since I warned you now, are you going to start yelling when it happens?"

"Probably," Remus said honestly, hating to see Harry looking so upset, "but thanks for the warning anyway."

Harry sighed, not looking forward to this one bit.

"Back. Up. Now." Sirius hissed in disgust, his hands tightening into fists.

James forced himself to keep going in shaky tones.

Lily couldn't help but snort, drawing all of their attention. "Sorry, but I think that was a racist joke. I'm pretty sure it was anyways, so he should be thanking Harry for saving him from making such an awful joke."

"I don't see that happening, but thanks for trying," James said in a forced light tone.

"Why were you shaking?" Remus yelped.

"He scares the crap out of me," Harry said honestly.

When he saw them all go wide eyed, he rolled his eyes and said, "What, he's like three times the size of me!"

All four of them couldn't decide if they felt murderous or depressed at this. It was the first time Harry had admitted to something like this, which was progress, but the man had literally just threatened Harry, and left him shaking. Harry insisted he'd never been beaten, but really, what else could cause that kind of reaction in a child?

They all exchanged desperate looks, and then all took one last lingering glance at Harry, only they were thinking of the baby. So young and innocent, they would do anything in the world to stop this from happening

James wanted to say something reassuring, like Harry shouldn't be scared of him anymore, but it felt empty even in his mind. Either he wouldn't be there to stop it, or, hopefully, he would fix it before it ever happened to baby Harry. Regardless, he hadn't been there for his older son (which was confusing enough to give him a headache if he thought too hard about it) at the time, bringing him down to an all-time low. Sucking in a deep breath, he forced himself to go on.

"He didn't!" Sirius snarled, mentally adding Dobby to his list of people he was planning to kill later.

"Why, why would he do such a thing?" Lily demanded.

"Pity gone." Remus huffed.

"Yeah, I don't like this house-elf much at all," James agreed.

Harry was frowning at them, knowing his twelve year old self would very much like to agree with them, but there was something in both his gut and mind holding him back. Both a memory he couldn't touch, and a feeling that he owed Dobby for something. This transgression should be looked over.

He sighed, but decided he would have to say something. If felt wrong to hear anyone talk badly about Dobby, and his instincts hadn't led him wrong so far.

"Look, I don't have any memories or anything to back this up, but I- I trust Dobby. He does something really important in my life later, and-" he broke off in frustration, casting his eyes downwards in self-hatred at his lack of anything to back this up with, but he was surprised to feel his Dad put his hand on his shoulder. Harry glanced up to meet his eyes, and only then did James speak.

"That's good enough for us then. If you say Dobby's got a reason for this, then, he's alright with me," James said warmly

Harry grinned broadly at him, then turned to Sirius when he said in mock disappointment, "Well that takes one off the kill list. Less work for me."

Harry decided against asking.

"I can't decide if I'm more impressed, or annoyed," Remus rolled his eyes.

"House-elves are very powerful magical creatures," James explained to Harry's stunned look, rightly guessing Harry had been wondering how that was even possible. "But they hardly ever get a chance to use their magic, willingly anyway. I don't think it would be too hard for him to pull this off."

"Still don't get why he would though," Sirius said lightly, trying to keep the disgust out of his voice for Harry's sake. He meant what he said, he would just have to forgive any transgressions the little elf made if Harry was defending him. Didn't make him too happy about it at the moment though.

"I should really take this moment to be happy I was right, and all of your friends were writing to you." James said, forcing a happy tone into his voice, privately thinking 'instead of wanting to strangle Dobby'.

"I really want to give that elf credit for thinking this through," Remus said, ignoring the annoyance he was really feeling at the issue.

"Wouldn't have worked anyway," Harry said honestly.

"I can't believe I'm the one saying this," Lily said cautiously, "but why don't you just lie to him? You'll get your letters back, he'll leave, and you can still go to school. Problem solved."

"I sure hope he didn't!" Sirius said, going wide eyed at the thought, "if you make a promise to a house elf, you're as sworn to keep it as they are to serve you. That magical rule doesn't even apply whether it's your house elf or not! If Harry promises not to go back to school, he really couldn't go back to school!"

"Then I'm glad I didn't think of lying," Harry said, feeling sick at the thought.

"He's going to give up?" Remus said hopefully. James didn't even bother to look up from the book.

"No!" all four gasped in real fear now. Last time Harry had gotten into real trouble, they'd locked him in a cupboard for a month! What would the Dursleys do now that they would blame Harry for possibly ruining a big business deal for Vernon?

"If that elf gets you into trouble-" Sirius couldn't help but begin to threaten, then he caught sight of Harry's face, and forced himself to cut off.

Harry looked just as scared and upset as they all did about him getting into trouble, the poor boy didn't need the extra worry of Sirius making non lethal threats against someone Harry had tried to protect just a few minutes earlier.

James and Remus gave him appreciative looks, they both perfectly understood what Sirius was feeling right then.

"Levitating!" Lily moaned.

"He couldn't have just threatened to push it off," Remus agreed, looking a little sick.

"What's the difference?" James asked, he was just as worried, but for some reason these two looked like a new worry had cropped up to them.

"The Ministry of Magic is the difference," Lily groaned. "They won't be able to distinguish between a house-elf doing a hovering charm, and Harry doing it. All they'll know is that magic was done in the muggle house, and Harry will get a warning."

"Perfect way to cap off what is turning into a blood curdling night," Remus muttered.

James and Sirius exchanged uneasy looks, to be honest they did tend to forget about that no magic rule for muggleborns sometimes, like now for instance.

"Worst part is he's not exaggerating," James muttered to himself.

"What bloody good will it do him?" Lily demanded, only just holding her voice below screaming levels. "He'll just get into a cart load of trouble with those tossers, and he'll still go to school!"

Harry opened and then quickly closed his mouth, only just stopping himself from saying 'that's the least of his ill thought out plans'. He pondered for a moment where that thought came from, but when Lily was looking at him like she really did expect an answer, Harry just shrugged, saying, "I've no idea. I don't know any more about Dobby's motives than you lot."

They all huffed, hoping desperately...well they didn't even know what. It just didn't seem possible Harry would actually get away from this mess scot free.

"Was it at least good?" Sirius asked weakly.

Harry couldn't help but let out a surprised burst of laughter at the random question, before nodding. "Yes, it was, and I was the only one who got to taste it." The smile that creeped across his face at this child like victory almost made up for the awful day they had all been having.

"I'm actually happy for him," Lily said in disgust, "it might keep Harry out of trouble anyway."

"I'd like to note that 'at first'," Remus said slowly.

Lily looked to her husband pleadingly, but James just gave a heavy sigh, unable to disagree with his friend, and kept reading.

"You're disturbed," Sirius huffed.

James found he actually couldn't make it all the way through that sentence without stopping and starting several times. The others all understood what he meant anyways.

"Not a bruise," Harry said quickly, looking quite fearful of the looks on all of their beyond angry faces, "it was just a threat."

"He seems to use that threat quite a lot," Lily said slowly and distinctly, trying to make sure her voice didn't shake. "Why would you seem so afraid of that threat if he never carried through with it?"

"Just, you know, I always believed he would," Harry said numbly. He was fidgeting like mad by this point. No, Vernon never left a bruise on him, the school would have noticed something like that and there really would have been questions, but that didn't mean he never hurt him. He had never told anyone about this though. He wasn't even one hundred percent sure if Dudley and Aunt- 'no' he mentally corrected- and Petunia knew. Vernon had only done it a few times in his much younger years when his magic had been blatantly obvious.

Yet he had sat here and said, lied, right to his family's face that Vernon hadn't done that. Not in so many words, but it was still lying by omission. Why was he still hiding this though? The man couldn't do anything to him now. Not only was he too old to even fear him anymore, but he had four people he had no doubt would never let any of the Dursleys come anywhere near him. He dug deep, trying to understand his own hesitance.

After a few more moments of James studying his son, gauging just how much of a lie that was (he could tell Harry was telling the truth, but still holding something back like always), James decided to read on, wondering if the book would finally show something Harry hadn't mentioned. Possibly Harry didn't deem it worthy of mentioning, like the no meals thing from the last book?

"I hate this book," Sirius vowed. "I hate this book more than any of the other awful things that happened to you last year. I think I hate this more than you meeting Voldemort."

Remus gave him a world weary looking, asking, "How on earth do you work that out?"

Sirius was still watching Harry with keen interest. He, like James, could tell Harry was holding something back, but answered Remus, "Looking back, I know now Voldemort couldn't have done anything to Harry 'cause Lily, er, protected him." He said, trying to skim over the way she'd done that, admittedly not doing a very good job of it. "Yet the Dursleys have made it pretty clear they don't have any restraints, or anyone restraining them."

"Sirius, I really want to strangle you right now for putting that thought in my head," Lily said, shivering as way too many mental images came to mind.

Harry finally snapped out of his reverence, sadly not having come to a conclusion, and gave his mother an encouraging half hug. It actually did manage to calm them all down though, if Harry didn't seem too worried about the consequences of this anymore, maybe they had been over-exaggerating what 'bad' was.

Then they thought of the cupboard, no meals, and a day of chores that would make a fully grown man pass out. James decided to keep reading before he passed out from fear.

"At least someone noticed," Remus muttered.

"Wish they had asked why they were making their 'disturbed' nephew scrub the kitchen," James hissed.

"Harry, you're really starting to scare me," Lily almost mouthed the words.

Harry shrugged, still vainly trying for a careless tone, "you guys were commenting all last book about my odd descriptions."

"I liked walnut head and pig in a wig more than demonic glinting eyes," Sirius told him with a straight face.

"Oh, now he gets to read his own mail," James huffed.

"Surprised you didn't just throw that in the food shredder as well," Remus agreed, starting to shake slightly in both fear and anger as this just kept getting worse and worse.

The three boys couldn't help it, they were so wound up they all snorted with mirth at such an odd sentence, though it didn't help relieve the tension at all.

Harry quickly tried to intervene when he saw how upset they were all getting by asking, "wouldn't them sending me an owl while the Muggles were still there have been just as obvious?"

"The Ministry wouldn't know that," Lily explained, "the warning's sent out automatically once you've violated it. Only after the certain number of times of it happening and you would have gotten into real trouble would they even bother to send someone to really check this out."

Lily opened and closed her mouth several times, unable to voice into words just how bad this was for Harry. Now, not only was Harry going to be blamed for the Mason's crashed dinner party, the Dursleys had just heard from his own mouth that he wasn't allowed to use magic outside of school!

Regardless of whether James recognized this, or just wanted to keep going to find out the end results, Lily couldn't find enough air in her own body to stop him.

"I'm thinking he was enjoying them much more before he got that," Remus hissed.

"I can't imagine why," Sirius mouthed, though he too seemed unable to find any proper oxygen in his body. All the air had just seeped out of the room in real fear at what James was about to say.

James himself was reading in a monotone voice, like he was reading without taking in a word he was saying, perhaps in hopes to block out the horrific images going around in his own mind.

Remus very dearly wanted to point out what a load of tosh that was. If Harry didn't come back to school, then Dumbledore, Hagrid, or even Ron and Hermione would do something about it! Someone would show up to Number 4 Privet Drive September first, the moment someone realized Harry wasn't at the start of term banquet.

Yet Remus held his tongue. If that was the first thing he thought of, surely the others must know this as well, or if one of them did freak out he would tell them then. He wasn't going to be the one to interrupt James when he was about to find out what kind of punishment Harry was going to get for this escapade.

Harry shivered viciously at that memory, the others were dying to ask him why, but couldn't decide what answer they would hate more. Harry lying to them again, saying it was nothing, or receiving a real answer...

Lily desperately tried someway, to pretend for just a moment this hadn't happened to her baby, as she demanded, "how on earth did they explain that away to their neighborhood?"

Harry rolled his eyes as he grumbled, "they said something about being afraid of burglars, which didn't even make sense to me since it was the one room on the second floor, but I never saw anyone questioning it after that."

Lily, and the rest of them, looked like they regretted getting an answer because it wasn't helping a thing.

James voice stopped being monotone after that, and picked right up to yelling by the end of that sentence. Harry winced and rubbed his ears, but James wasn't giving anyone the chance to interrupt, he seemed to have wanted to yell for quite some time, and continued in the same tones.

"JAMES!" Lily finally bellowed louder than him, then she grimaced, looking quite ashamed of herself. "Okay, screaming at you made what I was trying to say totally pointless, but I'm going to say it anyways. Stop yelling! I don't want the baby to start crying again."

"I put a silencing charm on the living room after the last time." James croaked, he didn't seem to care though. Nor did he feel much better for it. There was only so much shouting a person could do to relieve their nerves, and this wasn't the type of thing that he would ever feel better about just by shouting.

"Oh," Lily said, sitting back and shrugging, "alright then."

"Well I wish you'd stop." Harry groaned, rubbing his ear and giving his father the stink eye. "Yeah, it was a new low at that place, but I'd still like to be able to hear by the end of this chapter."

James gave his son the stink eye back, Harry still seemed far too calm about literally living in a prison! Still, he knew he couldn't deny his son, so forced himself to read on in an almost normal tone.

Sirius and Remus made disbelieving noises, talk about an understatement!

"Far too kind a scenario for what you owe," James said through gritted teeth.

"Which reminds me," Harry blurted out when it looked like the four of them were going to start yelling a bit again, this time about Dobby, "Sirius, what were you saying about house-elves earlier? You own one you don't like or something?"

Sirius gave Harry a look of utter disbelief, unable to comprehend how he could bring up something like this now! Still, he said, "How about I tell you at the end of this chapter?"

Harry fidgeted again, he knew by the third day something else had happened to him, but he really couldn't remember if it was good or bad. He was really stalling though, so he told them that he remembered something. All of their eyes light up with that, some with hope, some with more worry, thinking 'how could it get any worse?', but since Harry was trying to give them something Sirius decided to cut James off and told Harry about his evil little Kreacher.

Harry nodded along eagerly, and by the time Sirius was done, Harry looked very relieved. They all found this a bit odd, wondering why Harry would want to know anything about Sirius' elf, but it had done its job. They were once again dragged away from the horrible story they were enduring, and brought back to the present. Not everything was good here either, but it sure seemed far better than the future.

After savoring the moment a little, James was finally ready to read on in a semi normal tone.

"Thought you said they were feeding you three times a day?" Remus asked in forced light tones.

"Wait for it," Harry grumbled, remembering quite well what they had considered 'feeding him' meant.

Lily snorted in disgust, but decided it was a least better than a square of cheese and two pieces of bread like last time.

"What!" James yelped in disgust. "The only way you could get canned soup to be 'stone-cold' instead of just room temperature is to intentionally leave it in the fridge for a prolonged period of time."

The others looked just as upset as James at this blatant way they seemed to be going out of their way to mistreat Harry. Like the cat-flap wasn't enough!

Harry just shrugged, it's not like he knew what Petunia had done to it.

"That poor bird," Remus said in horror, "owl's don't even eat that."

"I want to slap you right now," Sirius told him with a straight face, "that's what you're focused on? At least Harry's feeding Hedwig!"

"And of course I'm happy he's trying," Remus agreed, "but no offense, owls can go forty days without food. Harry's innards are starving after three, off that kind of food. I'm prioritizing."

"Okay," Sirius backed down. "I take back the slap thing then."

Remus just snorted at him, and Harry chuckled slightly at the interaction.

"Can't say I blame her though," Lily said sadly.

"If this gets any more depressing, I'm going to insist I need to stop just so I won't start screaming again," James told Harry seriously.

Harry was pondering something over, then said, "I think something good happens. I know after three days something changes, and I feel like it's good."

James hesitated for a moment, but then nodded, now reading on almost eagerly.

"And the depressing tone is back at once," Sirius grumbled in disgust.

James agreed wholeheartedly, but ignored him for now.

"I was wondering about that too," Harry said.

Remus was quick to tell him exactly what he had been thinking earlier, which calmed Harry down at once. Remus couldn't help but smile to himself, very glad Harry trusted and believed him so willingly, it wasn't a feeling he was used to after knowing someone for only a few short days.

"Yes, and hell yes." James vowed.

"Look on the bright side," Lily said, forcing a chipper tone into her voice, "when someone arrives and sees Harry's living conditions, chances are something much worse than Dudley getting a pig tail will occur."

"Hear, hear!" The others said, almost cheerful again. With any luck, this book would skip to the end of those horrible four weeks, like by the next sentence hopefully, and they could hear all about that spectacle.

"And when you wake up, our dreams will come true," Remus said in a goofy voice, causing Harry to finally laugh for real this time.

"I'm beginning to hate your dreams, every dream we've heard about has been nothing but awful," James said, color beginning to return to his face.

Harry really had nothing positive to say about that.

"No way!" the four without the book gasped.

James finished, looking almost faint from happiness this time.

"It's about bloody time!" Sirius hooted with joy as he took the book.


	3. THE BURROW

Sirius couldn't wait for someone in Harry's time to find out about his situation, so he eagerly read on.

Remus blinked, blinked again, and said, "When you say 'outside', I assume you don't mean down on street level, otherwise you wouldn't have just seen him through the window, so..." he trailed off, giving Harry a puzzled look.

Harry sat there, trying to think about it, "They were right outside the window, I was looking him in the face. I think they were floating..." he said slowly.

"Floating?" Sirius asked.

"They?" Lily added.

"Maybe they were riding on brooms," James suggested.

"They?" Lily repeated, then her face brightened and she said, "Did Ron bring his parents?"

Harry puzzled, but this didn't seem right to him, so Sirius just kept reading.

"Brilliant!" All three boys said at once.

"So most likely he did bring his parents," Lily said with full glee now, "since none of them are old enough to drive."

"No," Harry said, rubbing his temple, "there are two others with him, I think they're his brothers." He trailed off, thinking it was stupid he couldn't remember something that was happening right then as they were describing the moment, but if he had his way he wouldn't be struggling to remember any of his past. Like his Dad said, memory charms were tricky.

"Of course!" All four boys said, the three Marauders with glee, Harry with annoyance he hadn't remembered that.

Lily looked rather upset, she'd have rather it had been Ron's parents, but at this point she'd take the stupid Malfoys if it would get Harry out of the Dursleys' house.

"Sadly not," Remus grumbled.

"But he's about to be," Sirius said with glee.

"A crazy house-elf with ulterior motives," James huffed.

"How did he know?" Sirius asked.

"It's about the famous Harry Potter, I'm sure everyone knows," Harry said a little bitterly.

"There's that too," Remus said lightly.

"Wonder what Ron thinks happened?" James asked.

"I never asked." Harry said, "I just told him the truth once I got out of there," then he smiled to himself, pleased he was so sure that he actually did get out of there.

"Nah," Sirius laughed, "his parents probably own that."

"If they actually do leave him there, I'm going to be either heartbroken, or furious," Lily muttered.

"Please," Remus rolled his eyes, "Ron's the best kind of friend there is, he wouldn't leave Harry like that."

"But they can't magic him out either," Sirius argued, a bit worried now himself, he hadn't thought that through.

James snorted, "Come off it, didn't Remus and Peter teach you anything Sirius? Magic isn't the only way to get something done."

An evil grin spread across all three of their faces, and Sirius read on eagerly.

"Crude, but effective," Lily agreed.

"Not surprised those oafs are heavy sleepers, pleased though," James snickered. While he had full confidence in the Weasley brothers getting his son out of there, he didn't really want the complication of Vernon, or anyone else, waking up.

"What about Hedwig?" Lily said instantly.

"I'm sure Harry won't forget her," James reassured at once

"Now they can't leave that behind," Sirius agreed

"I have this odd feeling I don't," Harry said, grinning slightly for some feeling he couldn't quite place.

"They seem to have experience at this," Lily laughed.

"These twins just keep getting better and better," Remus laughed.

"Forever agree with you," Sirius snickered.

"Must have taken them fifteen seconds, easy," James said with glee.

"Well they're certainly handy to have around," Lily agreed fondly, she couldn't help but be in a good mood along with them now that her son was getting out.

"Well that's not good," Lily said at once, wanting to worry her lip all over again at what they might do if they woke up.

"They'd probably wave good bye, and good riddance," James snorted, they didn't seem to enjoy Harry being there anymore then he did. Harry suddenly leaving in the middle of the night would be like a dream come true for them.

Lily certainly hoped this was the case.

"I've just thought of something," Remus said, turning that sentence over for a moment before asking, "If these are identical twins, how can you always tell them apart?"

"Yeah," Sirius agreed, catching on. "You always say which is which, do they have some kind of tell?"

"No," Harry laughed, "I just guess, and then go from there. I did it once or twice out loud, and they've never corrected anyone. I think they like to keep people guessing like that."

"Makes sense to me," James said brightly, wanting to laugh all the more at the idea of a running prank.

"You forgot Hedwig!" Lily exclaimed.

"Sorry," Harry said, wincing in real shame. "I was just really eager to get out of there, and when I was collecting stuff from my room, I said I was going to grab her last, then…" he trailed off, looking truly sorry.

"I have no doubts you will grab her before you take off," James said bracingly.

Sirius was eyeing the book with worry though, it seemed someone was fixing to start screaming, and that was never a good thing.

Lily couldn't help but grimace in petrified disgust, in no mood to sit around and gripe about his brutish actions just then of pounding on Harry's door like that in the middle of the night for any reason, hardly daring to think on what he would have done under these circumstances otherwise. She was too invested on hearing Harry get out of there to bring it up.

"He what!" All four of them yelped in shock.

"Why?" Lily demanded.

"He actually tried to stop you!" James shouted as the three men balked.

Harry shrugged, offering, "I really don't know why he tried to stop me. Guess he didn't want me going off to school to learn more magic, then coming back again."

"Someone, anyone, needs to make it so you never go back again," James said in disgust.

Harry sighed, he had an awful feeling that this didn't happen for a long time.

"Very much doubt she cares!" Lily spat.

"I might laugh if you were actually kidding," Remus said faintly.

"I still wouldn't," Sirius huffed.

"Well look at this way," Lily said hopefully, "now those boys will go home, tell their parents what they saw, and with any luck Harry really won't have to go back there ever again."

At this all four boys felt a sense of unease when they took full stock of the situation. The boys had come for Harry in the middle of the night. Why wouldn't Ron's parents have come? Was it possible they had snuck out and done this?

James dearly hoped he was wrong in thinking this, because the end results weren't going to make him happy.

Sirius opened his mouth like he was going to answer, but Remus smacked him again, saying, "Just read what Harry says you nit."

"But the way I tell it would have been better," he huffed.

"Exactly how much did you tell them about the pudding fiasco?" Lily said easily, having a guess at the answer anyway.

Harry shrugged and said, "Everything. The bars on the window, I was locked in my room, how they threatened not to let me go back to Hogwarts because of it."

"You left out one part," James said when it seemed Harry was done.

Harry only pretended to not know what he meant, hoping they would let it go. They didn't.

"He means the pitiful amounts of food you were getting. Didn't they think the cat flap was strange?" Remus finally said when it seemed Harry wasn't going to.

"No." Harry said, shifting his weight around, he didn't see the need to tell them that. It's not like they could do anything about it.

They were all seething, when was Harry going to learn that holding back information like that was only hurting him more? But they acknowledged there wasn't much they could do for him now.

"I considered the possibility," Remus agreed, "but I don't see it. The elf was there to give you the warning, and nothing else."

"I'd still like to know how he got out of his family's house," Sirius said. "That was the oddest part to me. It's supposed to be impossible without express permission."

They all shrugged, having no idea.

"I don't think so," James said sadly. "The little guy was having too much of an issue getting his words across, I just don't see someone making him do that."

"Let's see, the whole of Slytherin house, plus the head of house, um-" Sirius said, ticking that off on his fingers, and looking like he was about to go on, until James tossed a pillow at him and said, "Quit that, we know. See what Harry says."

Sirius huffed, pushing the pillow off to the side so he could glare properly at his friend before doing so.

"Well if you want to get specific," Remus chuckled.

"Nope," Sirius said, popping the P for emphasis.

"Was?" James snorted, "I have a feeling he still is eleven years from now."

"His kind don't change," Sirius agreed.

"He wasn't the one driving was he?" Lily asked.

"What, afraid he's going to hit oncoming traffic, like a bird?" Remus asked teasingly.

Lily huffed, and Harry decided to decline mentioning which twin was driving, just to give his mother some peace of mind.

"Agree with that," James said.

"Now that's a bit extreme," Lily snorted, "I think they both deserve a good telling off."

"A bit more I think, but to each their own," Sirius said lightly.

"He seems the type to," Sirius said. "All of the old families still have at least one."

"Then why don't the Weasleys have one?" Lily asked, they were as old as any other pureblood family.

"Like Fred said," James offered, "the wealth counts for something."

"Why though, if house-elves don't get paid?" Harry asked.

"That's a lot to do with politics and the like, we can go into it later," Remus explained.

"Sorry Harry," Lily said to her son, "but I don't see it. If Malfoy didn't want you coming back to Hogwarts, he wouldn't have sent a house-elf to scare you."

Harry frowned, but then he turned over everything his family had told him about house-elves and he couldn't help but agree with them now.

"Stupid is a bit extreme," Remus disagreed, not wanting anyone to call his little cub that, least of all Harry himself. "You were given a possibility by your friend, and you considered it. Not knowing then what you do now, I can't even blame you for thinking that."

Harry smiled over at him, not being able to remember a time when someone had defended him like that, from himself of all people!

Sirius was smiling indulgently at watching the pair and didn't even bother to make his standard joke.

"I give him credit for trying," Lily said fondly, Ron clearly cared about Harry, something her son desperately needed.

Lily frowned, now knowing which twin was driving, and remembering him craning around before, but knew it would do no good to mention it now.

"Well that's not good," Sirius snickered.

"Kind of guessed that," Remus agreed, small bursts of laughter escaping him.

"I don't know why you think that's funny," Lily snapped at them.

"Come on Lily," James really did laugh outright at the look on his wife's face, "you can't really be mad at them for going to get Harry out of there."

"No," Lily agreed without changing expression, "but I assume you all know what happens when you go and do something you're not supposed to, and then get caught. You make up a reason why you went, like oh I don't know, Harry really did need help!"

That shut off the laughter. All three boys had been thinking something like this earlier, but now that Lily had said it like that, they couldn't help but agree with her verbally. The three Weasleys would be lucky if they weren't grounded, and no matter what they told their parents, they wouldn't be believed because it would just be an excuse from them.

Sighing in defeat, Sirius decided to keep going, hoping it wasn't going to be as bad as all that.

"I wouldn't call that the most boring," Remus said lightly.

"Agreed, that would have to be the Improper Use of Magic Office. Who sits around all day waiting to sign a piece of paper that says 'Hey, you used magic and you're not supposed to, do it again and you'll be in even more trouble, have a great holiday!'?" Sirius said, clearly still a little bitter about that letter.

"The office does much more than that-" Lily began, but James cut her off asking, "Why would the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts know about Harry's improper use of magic?"

Lily huffed, giving Sirius the stank eye for his comment, but began answering his question, "You know the different departments have to consult with each other. I can see, since this was a muggle involved incident, why they would consult that office. Sirius, you know the Improper Use of Magic Office does far more than that, they-"

Sirius started reading very loudly over her, causing her to roll her eyes at him.

"Sounds like a blast," James laughed.

Lily couldn't help but purse her lips, though her eyes were shining with mirth all the same. She couldn't blame someone for following their interests, which is why she couldn't hold a grudge against Hagrid with that dragon. Still, being in the Department of Magical Law, she did hope he was at least going about it more legally then Hagrid did.

"Nice little town," James said, "I know a couple of families that live out that way."

"We'll come up with an excuse to visit them as well then," Lily laughed.

"I'm glad you're learning," Remus said with pride.

"It sounds wonderful," Lily corrected, a house didn't have to be a mansion to be good.

"That's the best kind of comparison you could make," Sirius agreed. "The Weasleys' house sounds like a fun, lived in place, while that stink hole has never heard of the word fun."

Harry laughed and agreed, that had been exactly what he was thinking.

"Really?" James sighed in disappointment. "That's what they've come up with? Who dropped him off? How did he get there? How on earth are you telling me your mum didn't notice a stranger coming into the house? You're telling me they don't have wards up!"

"You put a lot of thought into this," Lily said in surprise.

Sirius scoffed and said, "You've got to come up with an answer to every question for any scenario if you're going to pull a stunt off properly."

"I would like to put in though," Remus said, "that they may not have wards up. They drove that car in and out, and their Mum didn't seem to notice that."

"Wait for it," Harry said, wondering why he had the distinct feeling of watching yelling occur.

Curious, Sirius read.

"I stand corrected," Remus acknowledged, smiling slightly.

"Mothers tend to get that way if they're in a bad enough mood," James whispered into Harry's ear, thinking not only of his own mother, but the few times he'd seen Lily upset these past few days.

"I'm going to like her," Lily said at once, smiling a bit.

"How's that?" Sirius rolled his eyes. "She hasn't even gotten to talking yet!"

Lily had a knowing look in her eyes, if her son's reactions were anything to go by, she was going to like this mother.

"And was it a jaunty, winning voice?" Remus asked, having his own sense of Deja vu back to when they'd gotten caught at school.

"No," Harry laughed, finding it much funnier to think on this now than it had been at the time.

"Told you I liked her," Lily said promptly.

"Well, she's certainly got them in line," James agreed, unable to help smiling along as well. He would have defended the boys if he was there of course, they had been doing the right thing in going after his son, but the mother just saw some goofing around and kids misbehaving.

"What kind of note would they leave?" Sirius snorted. "'Going to pick up Harry, be back in by morning?'"

"Yes, actually," Lily said.

Sirius gave her a disbelieving look, but Lily shrugged and said, "If they were going to sneak out, they should have at least given her a time frame for when they would be back. If they got back before then, she wouldn't have known, but since they weren't at least she would have had an idea where they went."

All three boys rolled their eyes at her, clearly thinking Lily was out of her mind for leaving some kind of incriminating evidence like this, but Harry mentally filed that away for future notice.

Lily pursed her lips, feeling rather upset at this. She had noticed in the last book how Percy's younger three brothers didn't seem to think much of him, she hoped there wasn't anything too bad between the lot of them. Clearly their mother wasn't helping the rift at all.

"Now that I'll give her," Sirius agreed sadly, "if they had been caught, someone would have gotten into real trouble. They're too young to know how to enchant the car like that, so one of their parents really could have gotten in trouble."

"Thank you," Lily said, smiling over at him.

"But," Sirius continued quickly, "I'd still back them up in their actions. They did go and bail Harry out, which is worth any fine in my book."

"I'm not disagreeing with that," Lily rolled her eyes. "I'm just saying they could have done it a little better, so everyone would have been happy."

"Hindsight is fifty-fifty," James said with a shrug.

Lily was fixing to correct him on how to properly say that before Remus interrupted, "I'm just hoping Mrs. Weasley isn't so mad at their stunt she sends Harry back," Remus said darkly.

All of them looked at Remus like he'd just tried to bite them all.

"Why would you say that!?" Lily practically screeched.

"You, you have got to turn that head of yours off," Sirius growled.

"She doesn't," Harry said at once, when it looked like they were going to get really upset about this. "I stay there the rest of the summer, I'm sure of it."

Remus looked relieved. He'd felt bad about saying that thought out loud, sometimes he really did wish he could turn his head off and stop thinking so logically, but it was in his nature as much as his 'furry little problem' once a month.

Sirius still huffed and gave his friend an annoyed look before continuing.

"Oh please don't tell me she yells at him," Lily moaned, "it wasn't his fault!"

"She doesn't," Harry said, smiling to himself as more and more good feelings came back to him about this summer. He loved The Burrow, it felt almost as much like home to him as Hogwarts did. He loved the Weasleys, for as much as he loved the people in this room with him, Mr. and Mrs. Weasley and all of their children had felt to him like the family he'd never had. This redheaded family had taken him in, and treated him better than anyone else.

Well, before now, he supposed.

Then he felt a tightening in his gut as a new thought occurred to him. He was very sure of this feeling, his surrogate family, but he also knew that he wouldn't want to give up this family he had with him here and now. What was he going to do when, if...? His thoughts had trailed away, he had been thinking for so long Sirius had decided to just keep reading, and Harry forced himself to tune in, not wanting to think anymore where his mind had been trying to lead him.

"Now that's a proper greeting!" Sirius agreed, smacking his lips with hunger.

"You poor dear," Lily said.

"I was nervous, I'd never been to someone else's house before," Harry admitted.

All four adults felt another awful pang of loss, wondering if that was ever going to get any better, and knowing it probably wasn't.

"Books I need to start getting to keep up with four boys' stomachs," Lily agreed.

"She acts like this is the first time they've done something bad like this," James laughed, "yet if we've got those twins pegged right, I doubt this can be the very worst thing they've done."

"I've no idea," Harry said honestly. "I've never asked them."

"Okay, I'm agreeing with Lily, I like Molly," James smiled.

Sirius felt a hitch of sadness in his voice, but it was Lily that spoke up and said, "You're all probably going to hate me for saying this, but I almost wish Ron and his brother's hadn't come."

Remus hesitated, asking Harry, "What day of the week was that on?"

"Err, it was Tuesday morning by that point." Harry said, struggling to remember the days of the week, he hadn't been keeping very good track while locked in his room.

"Okay, yeah," James said, while the other men nodded. "Gotta agree with you Lily. It would have been worth the wait just so the Weasleys would have seen Harry's conditions for themselves."

Harry sighed, he was rather glad that didn't happen, not wanting to imagine the fuss it would have caused.

"That kind of thing won't help at this point," Remus pointed out.

"What!" all four of them said, turning to Harry in surprise, Harry though looked just as surprised as them.

"I didn't tell them that," he spluttered.

"They might have guessed it," Remus said, "I can imagine you lost quite a bit of weight while staying there, since they don't seem to feed you properly, ever!" He finished, almost at a growl in the end.

Harry was looking at him wearily, but failed to comment.

Sirius turned back to the book, hoping Mrs. Weasley might believe that one.

"Bollocks," Lily muttered, they all felt heartbroken she hadn't believed him. Yet, in her defense, would anybody believe it if they hadn't seen it for themselves? They had the account first hand, and they still hardly wanted to believe it.

"Isn't that the little girl from the platform last year?" Lily asked.

"Sounds right," Harry agreed, smiling indulgently at the memory.

"Now that's how you do it," Lily agreed, feeling foolish she would have to say this at all, but she felt someone needed to say it aloud, (or scream it in the Dursleys' face.) "You yell at them to get your point across, make sure they're alright, she even gave them a full breakfast first, and then you punish them with a simple chore!"

"Why are you yelling at us?" James demanded, looking as grumpy as she did. "We're not the ones disagreeing with you!"

Lily huffed and glared at the ceiling, though she forced herself to start calming down now. Harry was going to be fine and safe, for another year at least.

"Okay, we officially like her," Sirius said for the others, who all agreed with him anyway.

Harry was nodding along and smiling, he had already known he liked her.

"Why does that name sound familiar?" Sirius asked, cocking his head to the side as he searched his memory.

"Wasn't he that Ravenclaw kid in second year?" James replied, with a light smirk of remembrance.

"Oh yeah!" Remus agreed, going bright eyed as he remembered, then he turned to see Harry's confused look and said, "We were in our seventh year, and we weren't doing nearly as many pranks by that time. We were maturing-"

"Most of you were," Lily snorted, eyeing Sirius, who ignored her.

"-but we did still do some from time to time, just to blow off steam. Well this second year named Lockhart, fits the description too, took credit for every single one of them."

Harry snorted in disbelief and said, "Why? Wouldn't he have gotten in trouble instead of you?"

"Exactly," Sirius said, grinning now, "kid was an idiot, 'cause all of the older students knew he couldn't have pulled off the kind of magic we'd done to do our pranks. Yet the kids his age thought he was the coolest thing, and he just loved all of the attention it got him no matter how many detentions it got him."

Harry laughed at this, feeling that was ridiculous.

"Seems he went on to be an author," James said, feeling rather odd a kid he'd known as twelve had suddenly grown up, and he himself never really had.

"Probably fantasy stories," Sirius snorted.

"Maybe you were wrong," Lily said in surprise, "he was in Ravenclaw after all, so I suppose he did learn a thing or two on his own."

The boys shrugged, they didn't really care much either way.

Lily giggled slightly saying, "Well for a twelve year old, he was a cutie. I suppose he would have grown into it."

"I'm ignoring that," James said in disgust.

"Highest compliment you could give that garden," Sirius said brightly.

"I want a garden like that," Lily said at once, her eyes sparkling with glee. "I get sick of going to Diagon Alley just because I don't have an ingredient on hand. I'd like to start my own garden."

James smiled over at her, knowing he didn't have an opinion in this one bit. Lily had just set her heart on something, so all he could say was, "Of course, sounds like fun."

She beamed over at him lovingly for a few moments before the attention was drawn back to the book.

"Do they now?" James asked with interest. "What do they think they are, some odd animal?"

"Not the same kind of gnome dear," Lily said, "you can see plenty of them when I start my own. In fact, you should be paying attention to this bit as well, since we will have to do this at least once a week."

James smiled indulgently at her, deciding against pointing out she didn't actually answer his question.

"Err-" James said, looking genuinely confused, he'd never seen anything like that.

"I might show you one later," Remus said, smiling in way that had both Sirius and James grinning right back. When Remus said it in that tone of voice, you can bet your wand he wasn't going to 'just show you' anything.

Sirius couldn't help but snort with mirth at yet another of Harry's lovely descriptions.

Harry, who had gone wide eyed and looked totally confused and sorry for the gnome, said crossly; "Doesn't that hurt them?"

"Nah," Remus chuckled, "it just makes them confused, makes it harder to get back to their hole that way. There are a couple of things that are more effective and keep them out more permanently too, though I guess the Weasleys don't do that."

"I'd like to know more about that later," Lily said eagerly.

James laughed and told her he would too, not having much experience with the creatures, but knowing this was a fun project their family was going to get in on.

"That's the best way to go about doing a chore," Sirius said eagerly. "Make it a challenge."

"Note to self," James grinned, unable to stop himself from laughing.

"Well if they were smart, it wouldn't be nearly as easy to get rid of them," Remus grinned, unable to believe he could be in so good a mood again after the horrid way he'd felt in the very last chapter.

They were all feeling much better though, Harry was far away from those awful Dursleys, and spending time with his best friend. They would just have to force themselves to be in a good mood the rest of the book, until they had to put up with it again.

"Guess that explains why they keep coming back," James chuckled.

"Are they very bad for a garden?" Lily asked.

"Probably about as bad as moles are," Remus speculated. He didn't know anything about owning a garden either, but he did know about them from his father teaching him everything he knew about all sorts of magical creatures.

"Poor guy," Sirius said in real sympathy, taking a moment to push some of his own hair out of his face, before it fell right back again as he continued reading.

Harry, as always, was forced to ignore the sudden memory stabbing pain he felt, having no idea what that name meant to him, and instead focusing on his family saying;

"That bugger's still around then," James laughed.

"That old crook should be poorer than a dead man, as many fines as he's gotten," Lily rolled her eyes.

"His attitude towards the ministry folk hasn't changed any," Sirius grinned.

"That will be an interesting day for the Committee on Experimental Charms," Lily said sadly.

Harry laughed boyishly at this, while Lily blushed a bit.

"Surprised you didn't go into that department, as much as you love your charms," Remus said, smiling right along with the others.

Lily shrugged and said, "I considered it, but I like helping approve new laws better. Especially the ones pertaining to magical and half-human creatures."

Remus couldn't help but blush slightly. He'd never asked, and he never would, wondering if it was a bit big headed, but he did always wonder if Lily hadn't joined that department after they had tried to make him their baby's (Lily had only been pregnant a few weeks then) Godfather, and then found out she couldn't. She had joined the field a few weeks later.

"Uh oh," All three boys chanted at once.

"He's in for it, if he never told his wife about that car," Lily agreed, eyeing James expectantly, hoping he would take the hint about that.

He studiously refused to look at his wife, but she had no idea if it was because he got the hint, or was trying to ignore it.

"That is illegal," Lily agreed, still smiling despite the fact. She really couldn't be mad at anything that had gotten her son out of trouble like that. Perhaps she should make a suggestion to tweaking the law a bit.

Lily laughed the hardest of all as the whole room was amused by this. Lily was finally breathing properly enough to say, "I'll give him that, there is a loophole. He could still technically be fined for it, but Merlin I'll give the man his credit."

"That's why I love you," James said brightly.

"I didn't know he wrote up that law," Lily said in amusement. "Guess I should head down to the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts office, see if I can't help him out in tweaking that law around a bit." She said with more conviction than if it was just an errant idea. She had been looking for an excuse to meet the Weasleys in person, this seemed like the perfect opportunity for her.

"Let me know how that goes," James said eagerly, more than pleased they'd finally come up with a reason to meet this family.

Harry smiled, remembering clearly this is one of the things he'd liked instantly about Mr. Weasley. He hadn't heard his name and immediately jumped to shake the famous boy's hand, he had turned round to say hi, and how was Ron's friend. It was one of the most pleasurable experiences he had in meeting adult wizards.

"And I officially like the father," James said, grinning from ear to ear. "That's the proper response all right!"

Lily just rolled her eyes at him, ignoring the worry that wanted to come up when she realized the car had never been tested before then, but since there clearly hadn't been a problem, she pushed it to the side.

"It just gets better," Sirius agreed with James.

"Then you should enjoy it while it lasts," Remus laughed.

"Why does he have his room marked," James laughed, "does he get lost?"

"My parents did that on mine too," Sirius said with a shrug, he'd never asked why.

"Oh," Sirius said, "he supports the Chudley Cannons then."

"You know that by their team color?" Lily asked in disbelief.

"You mean you don't?" Remus asked with the same amount of disbelief in his voice, though with a hint sarcasm.

"Wow, they went up a spot," James said, impressed.

"I loved those," James said, "I've got two of them left from my old stack. Always planned on showing them to," he broke off with a wince as he realized what he was saying, that he wouldn't be there to give them to his son, then spoke quickly, "to you Harry. Remind me and I'll show you."

Harry smiled sadly, they all knew what that wince had been, but he agreed eagerly.

"Can't believe he doesn't keep that thing on him at all times," Sirius muttered, unable to not find that odd considering the life he'd grown up with.

"The poor kid's so self-conscious," Remus said sadly.

"You're not any better," James said sharply, "always poking at a hole in your robes when you meet new people."

Remus blushed slightly, he didn't mean to do it, but yeah he would admit to being a bit self-conscious as well, though with the help of his friends, he really was getting better. At least he would meet new people now.

All five of them let out derisive snorts, poor Ron thought Harry actually had it better than him.

The four adults were privately hoping Harry would correct him, saying he had once had to live in a cupboard, but by now they thought they knew better, so indeed when Sirius kept reading, they weren't surprised when Harry didn't interrupt.

"That's the end of the chapter!" Sirius said. "Want your turn Harry?"

Harry nodded, taking the book eagerly.


	4. AT FLOURISH AND BLOTTS

Harry began reading eagerly, he loved his time at the Burrow, he knew that without remembering anything that happened, but now he was getting to hear about his time there, which would be fun and help reinforce those memories.

"Probably fainted from the shock of watching a real family," James said bitterly.

"Boring old gits," Sirius huffed.

Lily giggled at the look of shock on Harry's face as he read that.

"Wonder what they're up to," Remus said eagerly.

"Nothing good," James assured him.

All four of them winced at that, hating that Harry seemed to find this so odd.

"Do you find that odd here?" Lily asked, wondering if she was going to burst into tears if Harry said yes.

He hesitated for a long time, but when it seemed they weren't going to let the subject go, he said, "At first, yes. After a while though, I got used to it. I'm really comfortable here now. Just took me a day I guess."

"I'll take that," James said brightly, really they were lucky Harry even liked them so quickly. All he had were twelve years' worth of memories of his family hating him.

"Bless her," Lily sighed.

"It was kind of difficult too, since I wasn't always sure, but he loved whatever answer I gave him," Harry said, smiling.

"Agreed," The other two purebloods said.

"Poor thing," James said in sympathy, knowing the feeling of having that kind of crush.

"Bet she did that a lot," Sirius laughed.

"Just when I first walked in," Harry said, blushing a bit.

"Nicer than Lily was," Remus said, grinning fondly over at her. "She'd just laugh at James whenever he did that."

James huffed and Lily had the decency to look embarrassed.

"How did Hogwarts know I was there?" Harry asked.

"The ink is magically addressed, remember? The letter always goes to the person, not the house," Remus reminded him.

"Even after first year?" Harry asked, sounding pleased.

"Every year," Sirius agreed.

"Clearly he wrote more than the one book," Lily said in shock.

"'Break with a Banshee?' That doesn't sound like a study of Banshees, more like a fable," Remus said in surprise.

"They're all like that," Harry told them, reading down the list.

"How many are there?" James asked in disbelief.

In lieu of an answer, Harry read the rest.

"How many are there?" Sirius repeated James question, sounding skeptical, when it seemed Harry was going to keep going.

"Three more," He said without looking up.

Remus couldn't help but snort at the title, along with his two friends who really had wandered with a werewolf. It wasn't exactly a stroll in the park.

"There are seven of them!" Lily exclaimed with incredulity.

"Who requires seven books for one class, 'cause they've got to all be from the same teacher?" James balked.

"I don't think I'm going to like this new DADA teacher," Remus said dubiously. Harry had said that Quirrell had been a bad teacher last year, now this one was using what were clearly fantasy books, how long until Harry actually started learning in a very important class?

"Can't be worse than the first one," Lily said, "and let's not judge. Maybe the books have some real information and uses in them, and the teacher's going to pick them out."

"There are better textbooks for that," Remus disagreed.

"Let's just get on with it," Sirius said, when the two were clearly going to start arguing over the fact.

Harry read on gratefully.

"All seven years are going to be using the same texts?" James demanded of nothing.

"This isn't very encouraging at all," Sirius agreed with disgust.

"That would be ridiculous," Lily spluttered. "Dumbledore wouldn't simply hire a fan of a fantasy writer for the job. I'm sure there must be a good reason for this."

Harry thought it was nice his mum had such faith in the teacher this year, but privately thought it was wrong. He decided to keep that to himself though.

"Yet another reason this is annoying the crap out of me," Remus said with distaste.

"Maybe some of the siblings could share," Lily offered weakly, feeling bad for this poor family. "Since they're all in the same house, I'm sure they could swap books in between days or something."

Harry sighed, feeling suddenly guilty for the huge pile of money he knew he had stored away.

"Oh," Lily said, finally distracted from this new teacher mess. "Well she's not nearly as young as I was thinking then, if she's starting school."

"Just her fangirl side made her seem that way I suppose," James chuckled.

Sirius scoffed, "he wears that during the summer?" he asked mockingly.

"He's a bit of a show off," James agreed.

"Ron wasn't kidding about his owl being old," Lily said in sympathy.

"I love that he uses the word rescue," James said with glee.

"Well we know who she's looking out for," Lily giggled.

"You mean he doesn't do his summer homework?" Remus asked.

"I never did until the last minute," Sirius laughed.

"And here I thought The Burrow couldn't get any better!" James said with glee.

"Poor kid," Sirius said in sympathy.

"Well at least they're trying to be friendly to him," Lily approved.

"And Percy's not making an effort at all," James snorted.

"That's supposed to be a good thing," Lily pointed out.

"But if it's out of character for him, then I guess it is odd," Remus disagreed.

"How did he get twelve though," James pointed out with a frown. "There's no way you could have attended all of those classes to get that, a lot of them happen at the same time."

"I'm sure his brother was just exaggerating," Sirius rolled his eyes.

Sirius grimaced, realizing Harry hadn't asked about that this time, again, and really wished he could get it through his head it was okay to interrupt and ask those questions.

"I wouldn't be surprised one bit," James said with a shrug.

'At least we could leave him something' both parents thought sadly, Lily feeling worst of all. That money belonged to James side of the family mostly, as did Harry's cloak. Lily hadn't been able to leave him anything.

"You can exchange it for Muggle money though," Lily told him. "Didn't Hagrid tell you that?"

"No," Harry said, thinking back and wondering if he'd ever figured that out.

"Thank Merlin for keeping that quiet," Remus said. "I really don't need another reason to want them dead."

"Guess they didn't realize you don't know how to use Floo Powder," Sirius said sadly.

"I think he meant escalators," Lily said fondly.

"Easy enough mistake," Sirius agreed.

Harry felt rather stunned you could travel by fire of all things, but found this no more odd than anything else magical he'd heard so far.

"Oh I would fuss," Lily disagreed. "I'd hate to think you wound up somewhere you shouldn't be."

"I'm with Arthur," James disagreed, "don't stress the kid out with too much information. Tell him what he needs to do, then let him do it."

Lily huffed, still disagreeing, but more eager to hear Harry's first experience.

"They wouldn't mind," Sirius said bitterly.

"Wish they thought you weren't kidding," Remus sighed.

"Jeez, I'm agreeing with James now," Remus said, "I think they kind of overwhelmed him" he was eyeing Harry, who looked a little cross-eyed trying to keep all that in mind.

"Well that's not good," James said tensely.

"Yeah, I stuttered like that once, wound up in some old abandoned shop," Remus said. "Took me ages to figure out where I was, and how to get back to Diagon Alley."

Lily looked a little panicked, but Harry just looked relieved he wasn't the only person who had messed up his first time. Lily misinterpreted that expression, and so she thought he must not have any bad feelings about where he wound up.

"Oh dear," Sirius said, looking a bit anxious now as well. "I think Arthur should have just gone with him."

"Could two people go together?" Lily asked, never having seen that.

"It's not recommended," James said. "But a lot of parents do it with small children. Harry should have been small enough at the time he could have."

"Well no one thought of it," Harry said with a shrug, "and I don't think I wound up in too bad of a place."

"By that, you mean you didn't wind up where you were supposed to," Lily muttered.

"Great," all four of them muttered, not very happy at this confirmation.

"Harry needs to get out of there," Sirius said, going paler by the second. "Now."

"Why?" The rest of them asked anxiously. This was clearly not a shop in Diagon Alley, but Sirius' response seemed a little worse than called for.

"Because the only people who shop in a place like that, we don't want Harry meeting" He responded, eyeing his pup warily.

"Do you know which store specifically, you know where he is?" Lily asked.

"Not exactly, but I've got a few ideas," he said grimly.

Harry looked around at them all, then sighed and just kept reading, curious himself where he was.

"Guessed that," Remus muttered darkly.

"Bloody hell!" James yelped. "The only worse person it could be was...no that's about it. That was the worst person who could walk in right then."

Harry nodded in agreement, knowing he wasn't going to like the person who came in with Malfoy any better.

"Smart kid," Remus praised. "I'd rather you hide than run into them right then."

Sirius had a rather bad feeling about Harry going anywhere near an item in a shop like that, let alone in one, but he decided it was still better than Harry alone running into Malfoy, and, he suddenly realized, who ever had accompanied him there.

"Bloody hell," James repeated, as all four adults groaned, they had feared this, but now it was confirmed. What could be worse than Harry, lost and alone, running into someone who was most likely a Death Eater? One of the worst ones, at that, right in Voldemort's inner circle!

"Harry, I really want to know where you have gained all of this awful luck from! It seems like if it can't get any worse for you, it will still somehow get worse than that!" Sirius groaned, his face in his hands.

Harry couldn't help but agree, wondering how it could get worse, and knowing it just might.

"Like that little prat could ever make the Quidditch team," Sirius snorted.

Harry pursed his lips, unwilling to admit that he had a feeling about that as well.

"Jealous much?" James smirked.

"I'm sure every student in the school was jealous of that," Lily agreed.

"Not that good?" Sirius scoffed in disbelief. "Ignoring the horrible sides of the two games he played last year, what's more impressive? Staying on a bucking broom your very first game, or breaking the record for the fastest Snitch catch in his next one?"

"Both," Remus decided. "Both are equally impressive, and more than merit Harry's place on the team."

"Wish I wasn't," Harry muttered under his breath, he'd give anything to not be famous.

"Jeez, I don't think Snape even whined this much," James scoffed.

"Severus never whined," Lily snapped. "He cursed you lot to high heaven, but he didn't whine."

All three boys exchanged a look, annoyed she was still defending him, but after last year, not willing to argue the point.

"Oh bollocks," Sirius groaned again, this time looking truly upset and pushing his hands against his eyes.

"What?" Lily gasped.

"I've got good news and bad news, which do you want to hear first?" He asked, without looking up.

"The good news," Lily said at the same time James said, "The bad news."

Sirius snorted and said, "He's in Knockturn Alley at a store called Borgin and Burke's."

"What was the good news?" Lily demanded.

"The good news was I know where he is," Sirius said, finally looking up and forcing a cheerful smile on his face. "He's not too far from Diagon Alley, but he's in one of my Dad's favourite shops."

"I think I heard the good news in that," Remus said slowly, eyeing both Harry and Sirius warily. "As long as Harry hides long enough, then he can get out without being seen."

"But he doesn't know how to get back to Diagon Alley," Lily disagreed, still worrying her lip. "He could still get lost, even if he is close by."

"I make it back fine," Harry reassured them, noting that both of his parents kept getting tenser the longer this went on. "I run into someone else there. I think it's a good someone though."

"Who's the good someone down there?" James asked in concern, wanting to believe Harry, but knowing very well that if Harry ran into anyone down there, it probably wouldn't be good.

"Let's just read," Harry said patiently. "I'm sure it's going to be fine."

"That's business," Lily said shortly.

"Very curious to know about this," James said, eyes gleaming. If he could put Moody on to this now, eleven years before Malfoy would have even been expecting it, he would prove to the Head Auror for sure that he was serious about this career.

"In all the wrong ways," Sirius spat bitterly.

Harry tensed up in disgust as he read this, along with everyone else in the room.

"Arthur Weasley is worth twelve of you," James snapped, then he and Harry shared a smile at this old joke.

"I can only imagine," Lily muttered, her eyes lighting as well "and Harry, if you can, I'd like to hear more about this Muggle Protection Act. It seems like something I'd like to help him with."

Harry shrugged, "I didn't know too much about it, but I'm sure you can talk to Mr. Weasley about it now. Something like that must be in the works years before it's at this stage."

Lily nodded, agreeing wholeheartedly.

"Creepy thing," Sirius shuddered in disgust.

"Not really," Remus muttered.

James couldn't help but snort, unwilling to admit that was a good comeback.

"Here's hoping," Sirius said cheerfully. "Then Harry won't have anything to do with him."

"Don't start hating on a genius when I doubt you've ever cracked open a book," Lily said hotly.

"Why does he even know the exam results?" James asked.

"Bribed someone probably," Remus said in disgust.

"It should never have been counted at all," James said through gritted teeth.

"Children to terrify, Death Eaters to visit, busy schedule," Sirius agreed, sarcasm dripping from every word.

"Guess a cursed necklace would be pretty inconspicuous," Lily agreed sadly, thinking that Harry's odd look was for the act of the object, not realizing he was trying to understand why he may vaguely recognize this thing later in life?

"Never thought I'd be thanking that man," Sirius sighed in relief.

"Probably," James agreed darkly, wishing Harry had gotten just a hint of where those items were being kept.

"Good," Sirius breathed. "I didn't want Borgin catching you anymore than the Malfoys."

"Now I just want you out of Knockturn Alley," Lily agreed, shivering in disgust.

"It didn't say which way you set off," Sirius said with worry, "remember which way you headed?"

Harry puzzled for a moment, before saying, "I'd gone left from the shop."

Sirius nodded, looking relieved and said, "okay, you started going the right way, got a few more turns and you'll be right back in Diagon Alley."

"Should I be worried you know that area so well?" Lily asked.

"I went there a lot as a kid," Sirius said with a shrug. "You should be grateful, I know exactly where Harry is, and could guide him out of there easily."

Lily nodded, agreeing with him, but unwilling to remind him right then that, no matter what Sirius said now, it wouldn't do Harry any good in the book.

"Something I'm both grateful for," James said sadly, "and vaguely upset about since now you've no idea where to go."

"Note to self, take Harry into the deep, dark, creepy places of the wizarding world, so that if ever he gets lost down there, he'll know where to go," Remus said, forcing a cheerful tone into his voice.

"On one condition," Lily snapped, "I want at least James or Sirius to go with you."

Remus nodded, understanding Lily's logic. She, a pretty public and well known Muggle Born, couldn't go down there with them, but James and Sirius, though blood traitors, still had a status that was hard to ignore.

"Not good, very not good," James started muttering, getting a little jittery again.

"Ew," Lily muttered, crinkling up her nose in disdain, and hoping Harry's eyes were deceiving him.

"Why would she even have those?" Harry demanded in disgust.

"No good reason," Sirius muttered, thinking of a couple of dark and advanced magic that tended to require human body parts.

"I know that West Country accent," Lily said with glee. "That's Hagrid!"

"Thank Merlin," James breathed.

"What's Hagrid doing down there though?" Remus asked, unable to help a spike of confusion and wariness.

"Don't question it," Sirius smirked, "just thank Merlin."

"Did that," James said proudly all fear gone and joking manner back now that he was sure his son was fine.

"I imagine he would be a bit angry," James said agreeably. "Harry hasn't written to him in months, then he runs into him at a place like that."

"Well, let's hope he lets Harry explain, rather than trying to give him a pig's tail!" Remus said, lips twitching.

Though they had all been relieved once Harry had mentioned Hagrid, they couldn't help but be even more relieved that Harry was now back in familiar territory.

"That would cap off this perfect day," James said, trying not to laugh.

"I ducked," Harry chuckled.

"I can never thank Hagrid enough," Lily beamed, "he looks out for you so well."

"Rude to ask like that, but I am curious," Lily agreed.

"Oh, suppose he doesn't want them eating up his garden," Remus nodded.

Lily mentally added this to her growing list of garden things.

"He's going to love the answer to that," Sirius chuckled with hope that for once Harry would really say, and maybe something worse than a pig's tail would come of it.

"Aw," James groaned, "I wanted to hear Hagrid threaten them some more."

"I wanted to hear about Hagrid doing more than threatening again," Remus muttered darkly.

"Yeah, that would have been a scare for them," Lily agreed, not having come around to thinking about that yet. "They had no idea how far away you were."

"For good reason," Lily rolled her eyes.

"I talked Sirius into taking me down there one day," James said grimly. "Only went a few buildings in before my parents caught us, and we didn't try going back any time soon."

Lily smiled sadly at the mothering her son was finally receiving, while all of the boys rolled their eyes at the same thing.

"Eavesdropping much?" Remus asked, lips twitching.

"I think he's allowed, since they were hardly whispering," Lily pointed out, "and right in front of him."

"That's not what she meant," Lily sighed. "She was just telling him to be careful."

"But to put it in that way, and in front of all of his kids," James disagreed. "She could have been a little better at phrasing it."

Lily just snorted, thinking 'men are far too sensitive'.

"That will make Arthur's day," Sirius said brightly.

Harry grimaced, suddenly wishing he hadn't found the Weasleys until after he'd been down to his vault, to avoid the scene he knew was about to happen.

Lily noticed the look and asked, "so, does that mean Hagrid handed you your key at some point? He had it last year."

"Oh, yeah," Harry agreed, only answering with half his attention. "He gave it back to me last year, in case I need to come on my own."

"Oh dear," all four adults murmured, even Remus wasn't that badly off. Then again, he wasn't feeding a huge family plus school supplies. Though, if he couldn't find a job soon, he would be.

The other three were trying to think of ways they could help wizarding families like this, while Harry simply wished the Weasleys would accept his offer to take at least half the money in his vault.

"Can see that being a problem," Lily agreed out loud.

"She's such a killjoy," Sirius snorted, without really meaning it. Knockturn Alley could be dangerous, even to a pure blood, if they didn't know what they were doing.

"Why was he in there?" Lily asked, confused.

"And who would keep broken wands in their shop?" James snorted. "It's not like they're good for anything, or can be fixed."

"He was looking at a book, I guess he and his family went in there a lot to shop," Harry shrugged.

"Charming," James snorted.

"You know, he did assume Ron was being sarcastic," Remus said, frowning at this. "Ron really might have been trying to start a conversation with him."

"No," Harry said honestly, fighting back a smile. "Ron was being sarcastic."

"Well ambition can equal power if you do it right," Lily said sadly, "but please tell me someone told that boy that power goes to your head."

"Judging by his attitude," Sirius laughed. "I'm going with not. Since his parents praise him for it in fact, I'm going to outright say he doesn't think that one bit."

Lily shook her head sadly, knowing there was nothing she could do about it.

"Jeez, did the whole of Hogwarts decide to come on that day?" Remus laughed.

"Great, another book by him!" Sirius snorted. "Let's hope it doesn't get assigned as well."

"Seems we've found another of his fans," James said, grinning.

"Hermione would squeal at meeting anyone who wrote a book," Sirius joked.

"Why are they standing in line?" Lily asked. "Does Molly own a copy of Magical Me?"

"She might," Remus shrugged.

"No," Harry said, "all of Lockhart's other books were in the back where he was signing his autobiography. If we wanted those stupid books, we had to wait in line."

James gave Harry a puzzled look, wondering why his son's first instinct was to call them stupid, but said nothing.

"Rude," All five of them sniffed in disdain.

"Was that supposed to impress me?" Sirius asked snootily, "because it didn't."

"Oh no," Remus groaned, along with everyone else in the room.

"It's going to be like that stupid Leaky Cauldron scene all over again," Lily agreed disdainfully.

"With any luck, one of the Weasleys will step in," Remus said hopefully, then he noticed how red Harry's face was getting, with remembered embarrassment, and he lost hope in that idea.

"Let go," James grumbled, much more irritable than he might normally have been. He just hated the idea of anyone forcing his son to do something he didn't want to do.

"Again, is that supposed to be an impressive accomplishment?" Sirius scoffed.

"Bloody prat," Sirius hissed, when would he leave the poor kid be?!

"If he doesn't move his arm, I'm thinking about adding him to the list," Remus said in disgust.

"You've got my vote," James agreed.

"Big headed bloody prat," Lily agreed.

Harry paused, looking round at his family, but none of them really knew how to react to this.

"Well," Remus said slowly, "I suppose he is still better than Quirrell."

"His books may still hold some good content," Lily agreed cautiously. "So it will be good for them to get a teacher who knows a little about those magical creatures."

"I'm kind of ticked off the jerk set his own books on the list," Sirius snapped. "He's promoting his own sales."

"I don't like him just because of the way he's acting around Harry now," James snorted, "but I've got to agree, as much of an ass as he seems, he's still better than the last guy."

Harry simply shrugged, he had a bad feeling about Lockhart, but of course he couldn't really remember why.

"How I was able to hold eight books that size and not fall over was beyond me," Harry mutter in disgust.

"I bet she wouldn't even take that as charity," Lily said proudly. "Since they were free too!"

"Yep," Harry agreed, "Mrs. Weasley thanked me for it all night, but I liked doing it."

"Hmm, now what twat do we know that calls Harry by his last name?" Sirius said in false puzzlement.

"Probably not a teacher, so most likely a student," Remus agreed, mock confused.

"Who do we know that's already been seen in Diagon Alley today, and loves mocking Harry?" James said, pretending to look stumped.

Harry was laughing at the lot of them, he would never get tired of watching these three men joke around.

"No way!" They all gasped, feigning surprise, sending both Harry and Lily into a real laughing fit.

"You should see where he ends up when he goes into the Apothecary," Sirius agreed sarcastically. "I heard there's a new magazine out that writes whole articles about that!"

"Well, she'll most likely end up in Gryffindor with her brothers," Lily said fondly.

"Good projectiles for throwing at him," Remus offered.

All five of them went red in the face with anger. Malfoy insulted Ron enough last year with this bit. He clearly hadn't found any new material over the summer.

"Look on the bright side," Sirius said. "At least they're not in school. Malfoy can't go running to Snape to save him. Ron can get his well-deserved payback."

"They're still in public," Lily said, looking almost disappointed she had to point this out, "and around at least Ron's parents. There's no way he can get away with it."

"At this point I don't care about getting away with it," James huffed. "I just want to see someone hit him."

"Why?" James and Sirius whined.

"Because, like Mum said, we knew Ron couldn't get away with it," Harry said, mouth twitching to hide his own smile. "At least, that's why I did. I'm sure Hermione would have said something more along the lines of 'fighting is wrong'."

"Oh I don't know," Lily said fairly. "Even Hermione has to lose her temper with this bug at some point."

Harry felt something flash through him for a moment at this, but it was gone as soon as it had come, and he just decided to keep reading.

"Well damn," Remus muttered, "both backup, and a parent."

"I don't think Ron needed backup," James snickered. "I still remember the bloody nose from last year."

"Double damn," Sirius winced. "Now we've got to put up with his arse."

"Why that-!" Lily exclaimed, as they all burst out into their own verbal abuse, largely cursing the blond twat's existence. Harry, surprisingly, was the loudest. The Weasleys had treated him so well, better than anyone else ever had in his life, and he couldn't stand the idea of anyone insulting them like that.

Harry now looked more livid than he had before during this entire time while reading, nothing made him angrier than insulting his friends, but he managed to read on, breathing heavily as he did so.

"Good on ya!" James grinned.

"Well we already know yours can't, so don't even start that mess," Sirius hissed.

All four of them went wide eyed, stunned into silence as they only hoped they were hearing Harry right.

"Did he curse him?" Lily yelped.

"Even better," Harry cackled, reading on gleefully.

"They were wrestling?" Sirius demanded, looking as if Christmas had come early this year.

"Well, that sort of implies an equal give and take, really Mr. Weasley was just punching Lucius Malfoy in the face, who wasn't reacting very well, so I wouldn't exactly call it wrestling," Harry said, sharing a proud look with all of the boys.

Lily pursed her lips, knowing she would have been in Molly Weasley's shoes at the time, but privately thinking she would have liked to throw a punch or two herself.

"Aw!" The boys groaned.

"Sorry, but I'm rather glad," Lily shrugged, "Malfoy would have been getting his wits back about him soon, and we all know the kind of nasty spells a Death Eater would have sent at him," she explained to their mildly offended look.

They still huffed, but decided this whole instance was a good payback for now.

"Malfoy got a hit in?" James asked in surprise, he didn't seem the type to throw an actual punch.

"No," Harry shrugged, "a book did that."

"I'll take that," Sirius laughed.

"Very hard, by Mr. Weasley," Harry added on, noting the book hadn't said that. "It looked like it was going to be a fantastic black eye!"

"Well I applaud him for the irony," Remus said, making as if he was going to start doing just that.

Sirius smacked him lightly though, so Harry could keep going.

"Tail tucked between his legs," James cackled.

"I'm sure he would have wanted someone to at least apologize for that," Lily agreed.

"Don't blame the chap for not stopping them though," Sirius snickered.

"Why?" Remus asked in bewilderment. "You mean to tell me they've never seen a fight in their life?"

"Yeah," James agreed. "They were lucky only a few books got thrown around. Wands didn't even make an appearance."

"They are Muggle's," Lily defended. "It's fair to say that this was only their second time in a place like that. It would have been kind of scary for them to see this. They're probably wondering if brawling is commonplace amongst wizards."

All three boys just shrugged, they still didn't really get it.

"Standing up for yourself," James nodded sagely. "The best thing to teach your kids."

Lily rolled her eyes, that was not the point either of them wanted to make, but she didn't disagree with him either.

"And my opinion of him just got a little higher," Sirius laughed.

"Really? Mine just went the other way," Remus snorted. "While I don't blame Arthur one bit for his actions, what idiot would want to say that was a publicity stunt?"

"Someone who spins their career however they can," Lily agreed with Remus.

James made to laugh, caught Lily's eye, quickly stifled it, which caused an eruption of giggles from Remus and Sirius to occur.

"That's the end of the chapter," Harry said, tossing the book over to Remus.

"You didn't get lost again did you?" Lily asked concerned.

"No," Harry said with relief. "Ron told me earlier how to use it properly without panicking, and it helped that I knew where I was going to end up."


	5. THE WHOMPING WILLOW

Remus took the book from him, unable to stop himself from smirking back and saying, "Remembered me this time did you?"

Harry blushed slightly but quipped right back, "Well maybe if you didn't try to snatch it away from everyone else…"

All four of them laughed appreciatively at that, happy to see that Harry was finally beginning to joke around with them a bit more.

"A first, I'm sure," James muttered to himself, determined not to be let the misery linger.

It was official. As all four of them winced, they then knew that it was never going to get easier hearing that kind of comment. Yet they smiled all the same, happy Harry had a good time with his friend.

"None, if I can hope," Lily muttered. "Because with any luck, the Weasleys will just pick you up from the train station at the end of the year."

Harry grimaced, knowing full well that wasn't going to be the case, but hoping along with the others all the same.

"I think she's spoiling you," Sirius said a bit cheekily.

"Like you're any better," James snorted. "I've seen you giving him sweets every time you think Lily's not looking."

"Thanks for ratting me out!" Sirius huffed, while Lily looked around at him and said: "Sorry, wasn't listening to that, what were you saying?"

None of them could suppress a smile at this, while Remus decided to keep reading, grinning broadly.

"With so many people running around, I can imagine," Lily agreed.

"Ouch," Sirius winced.

"Why?" Lily asked. "She already knows it can fly? What more harm could it do her to know you enchanted it to do that?"

"Avoiding a confrontation?" James offered.

"A five-seater car couldn't possibly fit eight people without magic anyway. Does she really think all muggle cars are like that?" Lily asked in disbelief, still stuck on the previous topic.

"Wizards tend to be as ignorant about Muggle things as Muggles are about Wizard things," Remus replied with a shrug.

Sirius chuckled and said, "Let me guess, someone forgot something."

"I'm surprised his parents went back for that," Lily said.

"He told them it was something else, but I saw him shoving that in his pocket," Harry said, grinning.

"Now that's actually important," James agreed. "What with him being on the Quidditch team and all."

"His parents could have sent it to him," Lily rolled her eyes.

Harry felt an odd tightening in his gut at the mention of this, yet all of the adults were shaking their heads and continuing to laugh at this, James and Sirius wondering what Percy would demand the car be turned around for next.

Surely this had no real importance.

"That is cutting it pretty close," Lily agreed.

"I'm sure they all get on just fine," James reassured.

Harry had already relaxed again, ignoring his last odd feeling. He was sure his father was right, he made it to Hogwarts that year. So why did he feel yet another tightening in his gut, like he was trying to brace himself for some kind of impact? Surely nothing too bad happened in a train station?

"Crash?" The other three without the book (or vague memories) yelped in shock.

Remus looked up from the book, to Harry who was massaging his ribs in remembered pain, and asked, "What does it mean, crash? Surely you made it through the barrier, and ran into someone?"

None of them believed this however, Harry looked very disgruntled and confused at something, and said, "No. We crashed. I don't know why, but we missed the train. Someone stopped us, or…" he trailed off, looking frustrated again.

The four of them exchanged uneasy looks, but then Sirius said, "I'm sure the Weasleys noticed that the two boys didn't make it. They'd have apparated outside the station as soon as they realize what's going on, then they'd come back inside to figure this out."

Harry dearly wanted to correct him, and tell him no such thing happened, but as he had no idea himself what did happen, he let Remus keep going.

"That owl must have felt so abused, all summer," Lily said sadly.

"It's not like they chucked her over there on purpose," James huffed.

All four of them released uneasy breaths, yes Harry had said that he missed the train, but they didn't really like hearing this confirmation.

"Why would you need it?" Remus asked.

"I've no idea why Ron asked," Harry said honestly.

Instead of getting angry at yet another reminder of those twats, James pretended to faint in shock and then gasped, "You mean they gave you some, ever!?"

Harry chuckled at his antics, "Yeah, I was out shopping with Petunia and Dudley, and Dudley kicked up a fuss and said he wanted to go across the street and get a toy. So Petunia gave him some money, and he ran over there. This woman on the street was watching, and when she saw that it didn't look like I was going to get any, she asked me really loudly, 'what are you going to get over there?' Petunia gave me a bit, and pushed me off after Dudley to get me out of the way."

All four of them were genuinely surprised Harry had so openly told them this, and pushed their anger at this little story out of the way, happy that Harry was starting to open up more.

"Never tried that," Sirius laughed in surprise. "Wonder if it would have worked if something wasn't wrong?"

"Should be no time at all," Lily said, trying to calm herself more than anything. "Once the train's left, they've no reason to stick around. They might not have even noticed you two didn't get on the train, so it might be best if you two just went out to wait by the car, just in case."

Harry went bright eyed for a moment, muttering something about the car, but they all knew by now Harry couldn't really tell them one way or another what happened until after the fact.

Lily beamed at Harry, happy he seemed to have been thinking along the same line as her.

"I don't think I like that reaction," James said at once, his mind going right where he was sure Ron's just had. His two friends exchanged uneasy looks as well, hoping Ron really wasn't thinking what they were thinking.

"What!" Lily yelped. "He must be joking!"

"Afraid not," Harry said, rubbing his temple, but grinning like a fool now. "I think we do just that, and it was a blast for a while."

All four adults just sat there, staring at Harry like he had suddenly gone crazy.

"You do know that's illegal right?" Remus began.

James snorted and gave his friend a disbelieving look, "Of course he wouldn't. Ron would though, which makes it all the more ridiculous that he was the one to suggest this stunt."

Harry frowned at them, "What's the big deal? Mr. and Mrs. Weasley can apparate back home, and since the car belongs to Ron's family it's not technically stealing. How else could we have gotten to school?"

"I can't believe I'm the one saying this," James said, privately wondering if the world had just been flipped upside down, though he felt it would be better if he said it rather than Lily. "But it is illegal! There's making trouble now and again, and then there's flying a car across Britain in plain sight!"

"It has an invisibility booster!" Harry defended. "Mr. Weasley just mentioned it. Besides, what's the difference between that flying car, and Sirius' motorcycle? Didn't Hagrid take me to the Dursleys', across Britain, on that?"

James and Remus shut up at once. It was one thing lecturing Harry on what was illegal, since he didn't actually know better, but Sirius on the other hand knew full well what he was doing, and he was a big boy who knew the consequences of his actions. Plus, Sirius was always more careful then these two twelve year old's were likely to be.

Sirius opened and closed his mouth several times, but no noise came out. Lily narrowed her eyes dangerously at him all of a sudden, and said in a deadly whisper, "You told me you got that thing cleared!"

"Ah, I went to a Muggle DMV and got it registered, you know in case I ever got stopped," he said, unable to help stammering a bit.

"Sirius Black, you told me that bloody thing had been registered as a charmed object, through the Specially Charmed Objects department!"

Harry just blinked, feeling bad he'd clearly just gotten Sirius into trouble, and also noting no one had answered his question. The two of them sat arguing for a few more moments, Sirius insisting his bike was different, since it wasn't nearly as big as a car, or as noticeable, plus he only flew it at night!

Lily was furious with him, he was already an unregistered animagus, and had been for years, now he had gone and done something else stupidly illegal. It was only when Lily yelled, "You're going to get your arse thrown in Azkaban if you keep this shit up!" did James finally cut in; "Lily, relax. The bike's not really the main issue right now is it? It's not even here right now."

He ignored Lily as she muttered, "and it never will be."

"So how about we get back to the book yeah? I want to see Harry make it to Hogwarts alright, car or no car."

Lily sighed in defeat, but relented for now. Remus hurried back to his reading, knowing full well this argument was far from over, and hoping to hurry on while he could.

Harry gave Sirius an apologetic look, mouthing 'sorry' at him. Sirius, while still looking rather harassed, smiled right back. He didn't blame Harry for that, Lily was bound to figure out about the bike eventually.

"I wouldn't call not being able to get to school a 'real' emergency," James said, trying to toss some humour back into the heated room.

No one commented with him.

Remus couldn't help but chuckle for real at that, and said, "Remind me again, did Ron want a career in the Ministry? Cause if you ask me, he's off to a great start."

All three boys laughed.

"I'm just impressed he knew it was in section nineteen," Lily said, cracking a smile once more.

They all sighed in defeat. Harry had already admitted to them that Ron's idea was exactly what they had done, but it didn't make them feel any better hearing that out loud.

"That's a problem I didn't think of," Remus agreed. "Since the twins drove it to Surrey and back, we had no idea if Ron knew how to. Not to mention, they don't exactly have Hogwarts' address."

Harry smiled at him and said, "Ron knows what he's doing."

"Clearly not," Lily huffed, wanting dearly to remind her son of the 'illegal' part of this. Then she blinked, and realized she'd never fully explained that part, having instead started yelling at Sirius. She would have to explain the problem fully to Harry after this chapter, and to Sirius too it seemed.

"Fun experience, huh kid?" Sirius asked, unable to help grinning over at him despite how worried he was Harry might get in real trouble for this. It was clear the two twelve year olds hadn't thought this thing through.

Lily narrowed her eyes dangerously, still pissed at him beyond belief, and unwilling to admit she was a bit worried for him as well. The ministry already had a dark eye on him, because of what his family had done. Now he seemed to be doing everything possible to get himself into hot water! James and Remus would be heartbroken if Sirius did get into real trouble, but none of them took her warnings, no pun intended, serious!

"Uh-oh," all five of them said at once.

Lily went from furious to worried in an instant, asking, "Invisibility charms wear off like any other, how long ago did Arthur put that on the car?"

"I've no idea," Harry groaned, unable to believe his bad luck.

"Don't suppose you decide to land, and give the whole thing up?" Remus asked.

Harry didn't even bother to answer that.

Harry blinked, wondering why a giant snake would seem so odd of a reminder of his second year. All of his family around him still looked worried sick, probably fearing he was going to get caught doing this. He had a stronger feeling that they might just be right, but he still didn't get what the big deal was.

"I remember that feeling," Sirius said, sharing a smile with his two friends, though still not relaxing. He wouldn't feel confident Harry wasn't out of trouble until at least a week after this incident.

"What's an airplane?" James put in, slightly put out that Ron clearly knew what that was and he didn't.

Remus tried to think of the most basic way to explain them by saying, "err, they're like cars in the sky. They've got wings that propel them on fuel, and are used to travel muggles long distances."

James nodded happily at the explanation, and then chuckled a little harder now that he got what Ron meant.

"That, I can imagine, would satisfy Ron," Sirius agreed, chuckling.

"Planned on leaving it on the front lawn did you?" Remus asked, trying to fight back a smile, and attempting to remain analytical about the situation.

"Well, we did intend to give the car back to Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, so we weren't going to try and hide it," Harry shrugged, as far as he and Ron were concerned, they'd had no reason to think about it.

"Just thought of something," Lily said briskly, rather annoyed the three boys, while having been upset at first, now seemed to have brushed the severity of the issue out of the way already. "What do you think Arthur and Molly are thinking when they've come out and found their car stolen?"

Harry knew the answer, having asked Ron this, "Ron said not to worry about it, that they might not have gone back to the car at all. They might have just apparated back home, and left the car there until the beginning of next summer anyway," he said quickly.

Lily highly doubted this, just because they didn't need the car doesn't mean they were just going to leave it laying around, but there was no sense in arguing the matter.

"Do anything for long enough and the fun wears off," James agreed.

"I've been thinking about that as well," Remus said, in response to Harry's question. "And I'm wondering if it might have been Dobby again?"

All four of them looked at him, then after a moment's pause, Lily said slowly, "I suppose, if he realised his first attempt to get Harry to stay away from Hogwarts didn't work, he might try something as witless again."

"I don't buy it." Sirius scoffed. "That house-elf's already gone and done some really weird things, apparently without his master's permission. How would that even work? Just because Harry couldn't get on the train doesn't mean he couldn't get to school by some other way."

"Just because Harry got in trouble at home doesn't mean he couldn't go back to school." James argued back, on Remus' side it seemed. "Dobby clearly doesn't know how these kinds of things work."

Sirius still didn't look very convinced, but he said, "Well, I don't know. I guess I can't think of anyone else trying to stop Harry getting to school...but it still seems unlikely."

Harry sat watching them, rubbing his temple, and wishing he could put an opinion in. Every time he opened his mouth to try though, the sure feeling he had disappeared, leaving him muddled and confused. Were the effects of this memory charm ever going to leave him be!?

The others it seemed had stopped turning to Harry in hopes of getting an answer out of him, realizing it only pained the poor boy. It wasn't going to stop them from theorizing the outcomes though, that was just in their nature. So when they ran out of options, the reading continued.

"Uh-oh," All five of them muttered again, Harry suddenly having a very bad feeling about that noise.

"My bike runs off of magic, I'd think Arthur's car would be the same," Sirius said slowly.

"Yes but how long have you driven it without a break?" James asked uneasily, "We all know that train ride is a good seven hours, at least. How far has that car gone in one go?"

None of them had an answer, and only hoped Hogwarts would come into sight, soon.

"There's that answer," Lily muttered, not liking this confirmation.

"How long has Arthur had that car?" Remus asked, more in surprise this time. "Ron didn't turn those on did he?"

"No," Harry said, very puzzled by this, and he had never asked Ron why that happened either. "Why?"

"Because," James answered. "All items that are enchanted will gain a mind of their own after some time. There might be nothing wrong with the car at all, it just doesn't want to travel anymore. The bloody thing might drop out of the sky and land just because it feels like it."

"How long have you had your bike?" Harry asked Sirius, now just curious, and trying to change the subject, since his dad saying that had sounded way too familiar for his liking.

"Back when I was eighteen," Sirius shrugged, "I've been tuning it for ages, but I think it's still new enough I don't have to worry about that," he explained.

"How long does it take for that kind of thing to happen?" He asked, prodding deeper, his natural curiosity beginning to come out.

"Depends on the object, how heavily it's enchanted, how long it's been under magic use, etcetera." Lily said, "There's no real time limit, and even the amount of consciousness the object grows varies."

Harry nodded, still very curious about all of this, but decided not to ask anymore, as it seemed Remus wanted to keep going now.

The four adults gave a breath of relief, sure the car would last that long. Harry on the other hand didn't relax one bit.

Much like the people in the room, all of whom were tensing up in unease. Harry hadn't even made it to school yet and they were already nervous again!

"Shit," Sirius hissed.

"Car crash wouldn't kill them," Remus reminded them all bracingly, looking rather white himself, "and they're on magical grounds now, shouldn't be any more unpleasant than, say, falling out of bed."

"Unless you run into a mad tree," Harry muttered, trying desperately to remember why that had come out of his mouth, but the others looked far more relaxed at Remus' cool reminder, so they didn't seem to notice.

"Shit," James muttered this time, wincing in fear. He didn't like that mental image one bit.

"That's not even a spell," Lily moaned. "What good did he think that would do?"

"He was panicking," Harry defended, dearly wishing he could tell Ron to put his wand away for some reason.

"Too late!?" The three without the book yelped.

"Crashing into a tree is much worse than just landing on the ground," Sirius grumbled.

"I'm still fine," Harry reassured, fidgeting like crazy now. What about this tree was bothering him so much?

They all sighed in agreement, happy that Harry had finally landed at least.

"Is Ron okay?" James asked in concern. If Harry walked away from this with a small bump, he would take that as a blessing, but they had no idea how badly Ron had been hurt.

"I think Ron broke something," Harry muttered, rubbing his forehead in disdain. "I know it bothers him the rest of the year."

The four of them shared a very uneasy look. If Ron had been hurt so badly it was a permanent injury, hopefully it wasn't something as awful as losing a limb! Ron's parents would go crazy, they might even pull him out of school for a time, which would be awful for Harry, and Hermione too. The three kids were obviously close.

Shaking himself, Remus forced himself to read on, hoping he was exaggerating Harry's words.

"Oh," they all said, looking quite relieved.

"Well that sucks," Lily agreed. "But you can buy a new wand. I was thinking of something far worse."

Harry smiled, pleased himself his friend was alright, but then said, "Yeah, but he doesn't get a new one this year. It bothers him all year, but there's something odd, I think it does something." He trailed off, then rolled his eyes in frustration, just waving Remus on when it was clear he couldn't think of anything else.

"Nope," Sirius said sadly. "Once you break a wand, that's irreparable."

Harry grimaced, wondering why his instinct was to disagree with Sirius, but nodded to show he understood him now.

"What?" Lily yelped.

"Did you land next to the forest?" James asked, mentally trying to map the grounds in his head and gauge the boy's position. "Startle something in the forest?"

Harry pursed his lips, knowing that wasn't the correct answer. Why did he feel like it had something to do with a tree again?

"A branch," Sirius groaned, looking like he himself had just been slugged by a tree.

"Of all the bloody places you landed," James muttered, looking sick to his stomach.

Remus had gone pale and shaky, if that stupid tree hurt his little cub he'd feel so guilty, it was only there because of him after all!

Lily didn't like the way they all seemed so upset by this turn of events. She had never gotten close enough to that tree to find out what kind of damage it could really do, but it seemed able to beat up a car easy enough, so she didn't want to know what it could do to a student.

After a few more moments of tense fear, Harry gently nudged them all on, and Remus shook himself out of his shock to read.

"What kind of tree does that?" Harry asked, trying to distract them once more.

"A Whomping Willow," Lily answered, when it looked like the boys were still too upset to.

"We would crash into a tree that hits back," Harry chuckled weakly, but none of them laughed, still too afraid, knowing first-hand the kind of damage that tree could do.

'Why did I have to get this chapter?' Remus mentally began yelling at himself, he would never forgive himself if this stupid tree got his cub and Ron hurt! He should have had Dumbledore rip it up after he left school!

James and Sirius desperately wanted to point out to Harry a way they could stun the tree for a moment so that they could make a run for it, but knew it was pointless as for the moment they were reading a book, and not actually there with him.

Lily clutched Harry's hand again, just wanting some reassurance her boy really was okay, and not currently trapped in a car being beaten by a tree.

"Wish it did rip its roots out," Sirius huffed, colour beginning to return to his face.

"Don't blame the tree," Harry shrugged, "we did hit it first."

They all gave him looks of disbelief, Harry was some kind of person if he could sit there and defend something that could have done him a serious injury, but now that it seemed they had gotten out of there without a scrape, they instead thanked that blasted car for its timely actions.

James let out a low, throaty whistle, "I guess that car has quite the mind of its own, more than I thought, if it can kick its passengers out like that." He said, looking reluctantly impressed.

"Are you listening to this Sirius?" Lily asked briskly.

"Sure," he said with a shrug, managing a small smile for her, "don't run my bike into the Whomping Willow. I don't know why you thought I'd need to remind myself of that, but if it makes you feel better…" he trailed off. She huffed and tossed a pillow at him again, which he easily caught and then laughed at her fully, finally releasing the tension from the room.

"She didn't come to see me for ages," Harry remembered.

"Well, she did kind of go through a lot that summer," Lily said fairly.

"But she did forgive you right?" Remus asked, trying not to laugh. "After all, an owl that doesn't like its owner isn't one you'd want to have around."

"Yeah, she does," Harry said, smiling now at the confidence he felt in that simple sentence.

"Where did it go?" Sirius asked in surprise. "I thought it would just die on the front lawn?"

Harry pursed his lips, knowing he couldn't answer no matter how much he wanted to.

"Didn't think of that," Lily agreed. "I guess now the Weasley's can't get their car back."

"I'm sure Arthur can get another one," James shrugged.

"I'm sure Molly won't let him," Remus snorted. "After all the trouble this one's caused."

Still none of them except Harry laughed at that joke, not finding it any funnier when Ron said it.

"Did you make it there before or after the train?" Sirius asked.

"After," Harry said, pondering for a moment and saying, "Yeah, I think we look into the Great Hall, and see the students being sorted," he shrugged then, just happy he could remember this odd detail at all.

"How did Remus get a singing chapter again?" James huffed.

"I don't think I hear the hat's song," Harry said, running his hand through his hair, "I don't hear it again for a while anyway."

They shrugged, accepting that Harry must have walked into the Great Hall after the sorting had already started.

Then a grin cracked over Sirius' mouth as he said, "That means you got away with it!"

"What?" Lily asked.

"Harry got away with what he did. None of the teachers should notice the difference if Harry and Ron come in a little late, they can lie and say they were held up on something. Unless Molly and Arthur know for sure that Harry and Ron took their car, no one should know about what they did!" he finished, sounding far too excited as far as Lily was concerned.

Remus and James looked rather pleased Harry wasn't going to get in trouble, but Harry and Lily disagreed, each for their own reasons.

"Still a very happy memory," James laughed.

"With any luck, sacked!" Sirius whispered for Remus alone. Despite admitting he had been wrong last year, he hardly liked the man even now.

Remus grinned at him and couldn't help but agree.

"I'm sure the feeling is reciprocated," James said, unlike his friend he hadn't bothered to keep his voice down, earning a dirty look from Lily.

James threw Lily a superior look, though she just rolled her eyes. Surely, she thought, Harry was just exaggerating.

"Bollocks!" All four boys hissed.

James continued, "Of all the teachers who would have come outside right then!"

"Really, I'm not surprised a teacher did come outside." Lily said with a shrug. "The only reason that car made it past the magical wards of the school is because it was magical itself. Still, Dumbledore would have been alerted something had come through, and I'm not surprised he sent a teacher out there to have a look."

"That's why you rolled your eyes at us!" Sirius huffed. "You knew Harry hadn't gotten away with that car thing."

Lily smiled innocently at them, and Remus just decided to read on.

"Where do you think he's leading them?" James asked in confusion, noting that wasn't the way to McGonagall's office.

"Filch's office maybe?" Sirius offered.

"He's a teacher now you twits," Lily huffed. "He has his own office."

"Why am I not surprised he chose one in the dungeon," Sirius rolled his eyes.

"Slughorn's was down there too," Lily rolled her eyes back at him. "He probably just inherited his."

"Doesn't answer what I was thinking," James cut in. "Why wouldn't Snape just take them to McGonagall's office, then go and get her? They're in her house, it's her responsibility."

Lily just shrugged, she didn't have an answer to that.

"Just like his heart," Remus whispered to Sirius, his mouth twitching.

Since Remus was the one reading, Lily very obviously noted this, and though she couldn't make out what he said, she had a good idea, so she gave them both dirty looks for good measure.

James huffed, and then gave Lily her own dirty look. "You see why we don't like him, he's not acting any better now than he was in school, always jumping to the worst conclusions."

"Well he was usually right about you," Lily snapped back, though she herself couldn't deny that Snape was out of line that time.

"Of course they don't get a chance to explain," Sirius huffed.

"How did he know about the car?" Harry yelped in shock.

"Not sure," Lily said, rather surprised herself. "The spell would have said something entered that shouldn't have, but not the exact object."

"Maybe Arthur forewarned the school the boys might be showing up in it?" Remus offered.

"Crap," all four boys groaned.

Lily looked rather upset herself, wanting to point out that she was right that they couldn't get away with it, but not any happier to hear that Harry could get into real legal trouble.

"Well that's not so bad," James said in a false hopeful voice. "It couldn't be too hard to track them down and fix."

Lily gave him a scathing look and said, "That's not the point James. The whole fiasco will be hell for the Ministry to clean up, and Harry and Ron could still be facing charges for breaking the law."

James flinched, and Harry was beginning to feel real fear. Was this bad enough to get kicked out of school? Sirius and Remus noticed this, and while Sirius gave Lily an annoyed look for scaring her own son like this, Remus reassured him. "Don't worry Harry. I don't think you'll be more then warned again, being underage. Fined at most. It's not bad enough to be kicked out of school or anything though."

Harry looked relieved, while Lily looked mortified about scaring Harry so much. She did help make the laws though, so she felt it was her responsibility to inform Harry of these things, along with the overgrown children too it seemed.

Lily pursed her lips, hoping dearly Arthur wouldn't get in trouble for this. It wasn't his fault Ron and Harry did what they did after all. Harry did look contrite enough now though, so she didn't say anything aloud.

"Oh like you care about that!" Sirius snapped. "You're probably holding yourself back from thanking them for it!"

Harry blinked, finding this a rather odd statement, but nobody else looked like they needed an explanation, so he stayed silent.

"You should have done that in the first place," James huffed, still annoyed by the whole thing.

"Probably the second," Sirius laughed. "You haven't really done too much to get on her bad side to be honest."

"Oh come on now," Lily rolled her eyes. "She wouldn't have cursed you."

"Just a reaction," Harry shrugged, better safe than sorry.

"Bet that ruined Snape's vibe," James laughed.

"Anything can be obvious with the benefit of hindsight," Lily was the one to say to her gobsmacked son. She thought he now understood the full repercussions of what he had done. It was obvious he at least now felt guilty for his actions, though she was still determined that she would explain fully to him the whys and wherefores later.

Before Remus could continue this time, the alert charm went off again, and James jumped to his feet to go fetch baby Harry. He came back in cooing to his son, asking him if he was hungry. It took James no time at all to get the baby's lunch ready, and to get himself re-seated and feeding so that Remus could continue.

Sirius had to cough to cover a laugh, never growing tired of his old teacher's wit.

Harry looked stunned at this turn of events, but he was the only one. Remus was nodding and saying, "Yeah, something like this, I'm not surprised Dumbledore would have to at least make an appearance."

"He can have that effect," Sirius grimaced in remembrance at that look.

All four of them snorted in disbelief at this, but didn't bother to interrupt, Harry must know that Dumbledore wouldn't have bought that.

"Well, I'm clearly not the only one who was thinking it," Harry said, feeling relieved they had been wrong.

"Not today," Sirius snorted.

"Reassuring," James laughed.

"Shut it," Remus grumbled before Sirius could but in, quickly reading loudly to cover up the old joke.

"Ouch," Remus winced.

"He certainly got his point across," Lily said, noting Harry's suddenly very concerned look.

All three boys couldn't help but snort at this, rather annoyed all the same at him.

"Tosser," James huffed, like he cared about that tree, he was clearly just looking for a reason to get Harry into trouble.

"Still better than Snape," Sirius said with a shrug.

"Aw," Lily cooed. "Reminds me why I liked her so much, she always did care about the students first."

"Snape didn't even mention that," Remus agreed.

Harry beamed with pride, while the others simply looked pleased.

Remus couldn't read all of that without half laughing through the whole thing.

James laughed boyishly, though the baby in his lap didn't seem to take notice as he was still eating eagerly. Grinning from ear to ear he said, "I feel I must applaud that, as I just had a very fond sense of Deja-vu myself of all of our awful excuses as to why she shouldn't take away points."

Harry laughed, though he was thinking that it wasn't worth much if McGonagall still took the points away.

"Did they ever work?" Harry asked.

"Sometimes," Sirius said, eyes shining with his own remembrance. "Depends how much thought we put into it. Honestly, she might just let you get away with that one."

Remus read on gleefully, knowing one way or the other he was just as proud of Harry as his two friends.

"Oh yeah!" Sirius cheered, throwing his arms in the air. "He got away with it!"

Lily decided she couldn't be mad either, Harry just seemed so happy that he had made these boys day.

"I'll take that," Remus said with a shrug.

"Better than anything else that could have happened," James and Sirius agreed.

"Well that was depressing," James rolled his eyes, shifting baby Harry around a bit.

"That's probably true," Lily agreed.

"Like the rest of the school won't find out anyway," James snorted. "Didn't last year prove that?"

"Uh-oh," Sirius said, feeling like laughing.

"No one told them the new password!" Remus said, trying to fight back laughter himself.

"Do you suppose they did it on purpose?" James asked, smiling with mirth. "Remember that time we got back at daybreak one morning, and the password had changed overnight, and no one told us? I swear McGonagall had done that one on purpose."

"How did you get in?" Lily asked.

"Slept out in the hallway," Sirius said with a shrug.

Lily pursed her lips, but she was trying hard not to laugh herself. Harry looked rather annoyed at all of them, he didn't think this was funny at all.

"I bet she was really confused during that train ride," Remus said. "She probably looked all over for them, and got really confused when she couldn't find them."

"Well, you weren't expelled," Sirius said lightly.

"Then you should have told them the point before you told them the password," Lily laughed.

"Wish we'd thought of it," the three pranksters said in reverence. Now that it was clear Harry wasn't really going to be punished for this stunt, they were as impressed as the rest of Gryffindor house with what they had done.

Sirius let out an extra loud laugh at that, saying, "They think they did it on purpose. Now they're jealous."

Lily rolled her eyes at the lot of them, but was smiling fondly as well. Harry at least seemed to be enjoying the attention the boys were giving him now.

"Thank Merlin for you noticing that," James said, as baby Harry finally seemed to be done, and so James scooped him up and put him on his shoulder to start burping him.

"Well she's clearly just as much fun to have around," Remus chuckled, remembering how she was at the start of last year.

"Glad you're going to enjoy this year more than last year," Lily sighed, hoping fervently the Whomping Willow was the worst thing she'd have to deal with.


	6. GILDEROY LOCKHART

Remus got up to hand the book to Lily, but then baby Harry burped, and Sirius piped up with, "before we start the next chapter, mind if we stop for lunch. I'm getting a bit hungry as well."

Lily rolled her eyes, but a glance at the clock showed they had been at this for a few hours now. She suspected they could have been much further along if not for the near constant interruptions, but agreed she was feeling a bit hungry as well. So she turned to Harry and said, "want to help me make some sandwiches?"

Harry beamed and quickly agreed, following his mum into the kitchen and not understanding why the boys behind him were giving Harry sympathetic looks.

While in the kitchen, Lily ended up doing all of the work, while in the process giving Harry a full account of why what he had done had been wrong. Explaining the laws in detail, and almost pleading with him that, should anything like this happen again now, he would get a hold of at least one of them.

Harry agreed, admitting he had done wrong and verbally saying he regretted his rash actions. By the end, his Mum was beaming at him, and ended by giving him a loving kiss on the forehead, then waving her wand and bringing the plate of food and drinks back into the living room, where they all sat around and ate.

After everyone had eaten and drank their fill, Lily whisked the dirty plates and cups back to the kitchen where they began washing themselves, and when they were done would put themselves away, and Lily picked up the book to begin her chapter.

Then grimaced in annoyance. She had been hoping Harry would have a better year than the last one, and this wasn't starting off very well.

"Glad I just ate," Sirius laughed.

"Like you wouldn't go eating a second lunch given the chance," Remus smirked.

"You mean she hasn't finished all of them already?" James asked in disbelief.

"She likes to reread them," Harry laughed, "especially that year."

Lily smiled indulgently, wondering if Molly wasn't the only one with a celebrity crush.

"Uh-oh," all three boys said, knowing Ron getting mail from his parents, the day after this incident, wasn't anything good.

Lily didn't pause though, having the same idea as them, but wondering what Molly and Arthur had to say.

"Bloody hell," Sirius grimaced in disgust. "Ron got sent a howler."

"A what?" Harry asked, while his friends looked even sorrier for Ron.

"It's a letter that yells at you, very loudly, as if your parent were there," James explained."Sirius got one his first morning there, his Mum wasn't too happy when she found out Sirius had wound up in Gryffindor."

"How did she know so soon?" Lily asked, never having asked before.

"Slughorn told her," Sirius said in disgust, "he was all surprised, thought it made me even more valuable to him, and he knew my parents pretty well see. So he thought by telling them, they would convince me to join his stupid club. Didn't work, obviously."

Harry wondered what on earth this 'club' was. They had mentioned it once before, but Lily had decided to read on.

Remus snorted with laughter, that was clearly the least of Ron's worries just then.

"That wasn't mentioned in the last book?" Lily said in surprise.

"He got it the morning after we lost that 'hundred and fifty points" Harry said, not having taken note at the time the book never mentioned this, "his Gran sent him a howler saying how she was all ashamed, and that his parents would have been ashamed he lost all those points. I only heard about it after the fact, since Ron and I had made it down to breakfast late that day, and Seamus told us about it. Neville had tried to ignore it by stuffing it under a plate of bacon before anyone saw, but it just exploded and sent bacon everywhere and then started yelling" Harry finished, remembering how embarrassed Neville had been all day.

"Then how come you hadn't known what it was called?" James asked.

"I didn't know it was called a howler," Harry said, "Seamus just said Neville had gotten yelled at by his Gran for it, and Ron said he felt sorry for him. They never said what it was called."

Lily nodded in understanding, before turning back to reading Ron's own howler.

"Always a treat for those who didn't get it," Remus agreed.

"Now that's a bit extreme," Lily said, "Molly couldn't have known they'd crash into the tree. They broke a few laws for sure, expelled was a possibility, but died?"

"Just being a protective mother," James chuckled, "I think you can sympathize with that."

Lily smiled, unable to argue that.

"How did that work out for you?" Remus chuckled.

"Ouch," all five of them winced, really hoping Arthur wouldn't have been dragged into this.

"He didn't get in too much trouble did he?" Lily asked in concern, "I can imagine in our laws now, he can get a huge fine for that?"

"Imagine that bloated for ten years from now," Sirius said grimly.

Harry felt more dreadful as this got on, hoping desperately the Weasley's would allow him to at least pay back that fine.

"Don't tell him he deserved it," Sirius groaned, "that is the opposite of helpful right now."

Chuckling Lily then read.

"Sirius, you're making a really bad habit of doing that lately," James laughed at the look on Sirius' face.

Sirius shrugged, so far he hadn't at least done it to someone he didn't like.

"You shouldn't feel too guilty," James offered, "it was Ron's idea."

"I still feel bad," Harry muttered, that same guilt mirrored in him now.

None of them could think of any other way to comfort him, so Lily was hoping to get his mind off of it for now by reading.

"There's the highlight," Remus said brightly.

Harry smiled weakly at him, still straining himself as much as he could without worrying the others whether or not he had paid the Weasley's back in some way.

"Well that was sweet," Lily said in surprise.

"To good for that tree," Remus muttered in disgust, still feeling rather guilty himself for that tree attacking Ron and Harry.

"I think this seemed like more of a visit then a helping hand," Sirius chuckled.

All five of them snorted in disgust at this.

Even Harry, who had only known Professor Sprout for a 'year,' knew that she was one of the best in her field. They all sincerely doubted Lockhart, no matter how much he seemed to have traveled for those books, knew better then Sprout what to do.

"For some odd reason, I don't see that happening," Sirius said, feigning sincerity.

"Whatever Lockhart was saying, she clearly didn't like it," Remus said in surprise.

"He seems the annoying kind, if this small conversation with this group of students is anything to go by," Lily agreed.

Sirius shuddered in disgust, noticing this Harry cracked a smile and said, "First dragons, now the plants, you have a lot of problems with these things don't you?"

Sirius gave Harry the stank eye, unable to decide if Harry was trying to mess with him, or sincerely curious.

Chuckling, Lily decided to just keep reading to save Sirius from answering that.

"Don't touch those," James said conversationally. "I'm sure Sprout is fixing to say the same thing, but I just felt like pointing it out now," he said when Lily rolled her eyes at him.

"Yes, she does," Remus sniffed in disdain.

"That's the second time that jerks gone out and grabbed you like that," Lily huffed, "and he really needs to stop it."

"At least there's not a camera around this time," James said in disgust.

Now all five of them snorted in disgust, this guy was turning out be a real prat.

"Probably for the best," Lily said.

"So he didn't," Sirius said in mock disappointment.

"Any idea what he's even talking about?" Remus asked.

"Nope," James said shrugging, "I think he was just looking for another opportunity to talk to the famous Harry Potter."

Harry grimaced in disgust, thinking that sounded right.

"You know, I still have no idea what he's talking about," Lily said.

Remus puzzled for a moment, but then shrugged and said, "I can't think why Lockhart could blame himself for that, unless he blocked them from the train."

The others looked disgusted at such a thought, James saying, "If he did, then what on earth is he playing at? And how could he have known about the flying car?"

"I don't think so," Harry said, shaking his head, "I think Dad had it right the first time, and he just wanted to talk to me some more."

They all rolled their eyes, hardly looking appeased, but let it go for now.

Sirius let out a bark like laughter, the other three actually doing the same. Harry on the other hand looked disgruntled and said, "I didn't even know I did make the front page because of that, why would I want to do it again?"

"Well he clearly doesn't know anything about you," Lily said soothingly, Harry looked like he was getting really annoyed by this, "I'm sure once you explain, he'll back off."

Harry sighed in frustration, and just pointed back to the book, having a bad feeling that wasn't going to be the case

"This guy's an arse," James decided.

"He's not even letting him speak," Sirius agreed.

"I don't care what kind of teacher he is, now I'm just annoyed by him," Remus huffed.

Lily nodded sagely, agreeing with the lot of them. It was clear to her Harry didn't like him, which put Lockhart on her bad side to begin with.

"I think he's actually talking about his own head now," Sirius snorted.

"I sincerely doubt it," Remus huffed, since Harry hadn't been able to get a word in this whole time.

"Did he just call you a nobody?" James gaped, "The most famous name in all of wizarding world?"

"I wish I was a nobody," Harry muttered, he hated his fame, and Lockhart wasn't being any kind of helpful to him.

"And I'd actually agree," Sirius grumbled, "since the only reason we know who you are is because you were an attention seeking prat."

"Hum let's see" Remus began sarcastically "The whole of the wizarding world, not to mention the Centaurs of all things! That's not even getting started on-"

"Okay," Harry said, going red in the face, "I don't like being reminded of that."

Remus smiled apologetically at him, but Harry quickly said he didn't want an apology, he just wanted to get past this, so Lily did just that.

"Is he ever going to shut up about himself," James demanded as he realized how long this one conversation had droned on.

"I think he's almost done," Lily said, glancing down the page a bit.

"Good," Sirius huffed, "because if I have to hear about one more thing he's done, I might actually lose my patience with this guy."

"Because you had so much to begin with," Remus chuckled.

"Good riddance," James grumbled.

Sirius opened his mouth like he was going to say something, but Remus just nudged him and muttered, "let it go Sirius."

He huffed, and crossed his arms, but held back his insult.

"Oh this will be fun," James said with glee, now keeping an eye on Harry's expression so he could see this first hand.

Harry didn't gasp now, but the look of surprise on his face as he remembered what a Mandrake looked like caused all three boys to chuckle.

Lily smiled over at him and said, "best get used to that now. I plan on having at least a few Mandrakes in my garden."

"How many antidotes do you plan on making," Sirius laughed.

"For all the times I feel like poisoning you, you should be thanking me I'm planning on making them at all," Lily said brightly.

Sirius turned a funny green colour, probably in shock, and chuckling Lily read on.

"To her that is normal," James agreed, "the Whomping Willow wasn't even much of a challenge for her."

"But trust me, it's not as easy as she makes it seem," Sirius grumbled again.

Harry dearly wanted to ask, but as everyone else was fighting back laughter, he decided to save it, feeling he'd bothered Sirius enough lately.

"Now she tells them," Sirius muttered to himself, he really hated all of those greenhouses, almost as much as he did Gringotts.

"Thought he'd like that attention," James said in surprise.

"Guess that would keep a damper on his mood," Sirius agreed.

"I don't care how brave he is," Lily sniffed, "he's still being an arse to my son."

Remus quirked an eyebrow at that, saying, "Zap? What exactly did he do?"

Harry shrugged, saying, "I don't know. I've never actually read them."

"Guess for a muggleborn, that would seem kind of reassuring," James agreed, still not liking Lockhart's personality one bit, and kind of agreeing with Remus. No spell could just 'zap' a werewolf away. What had he done?

"It never is," Sirius agreed.

"Just like real children there," James chuckled.

All four of them couldn't help but laugh at Harry's little predicament, and more visual gags.

"Which is why I always abhorred Herbology in the mornings," Lily agreed, "I always thought you should have that as the last class of every day."

"Write a note to Dumbledore," James shrugged.

"That always happens," Sirius laughed, "at least with most classes. Transfiguration was always one of my better subjects, so I didn't have much problems there."

"Making up for his horrible Herbology issues," James whispered into Harry's ear, making him crack up laughing.

"Which is why you're supposed to freeze it first," Lily chuckled.

"Well, some students don't think ahead like that," Remus shrugged.

"Or don't need to," Sirius said, just a little pompously.

"Oh yeah," all four of them said, having temporarily forgotten Ron's broken wand in the aftermath.

"This ought to be fun," James said brightly, "I've never seen someone try to use a broken wand before."

Lily rolled her eyes at them, but had to admit she was very curious what was going to happen.

Harry looked around curiously. "Why do we even have tape, if there's a spell to fix things? Why hadn't Ron just asked a teacher to do that?"

Lily helpfully explained, "the tape is just a temporary fix for those young enough they can't use the spell yet, but sadly wands are much more complicated than that love. A simple spell couldn't fix the kind of damage that one's gone through."

Harry nodded, still looking interested in the idea, thinking for some reason he should know a bit more about this.

"Well that clears that up," Remus said brightly, "that wand is now useless."

"Bet he could swap it out with one of the twin's wands though," Sirius said, an old mischievous grin spreading across his face, "they may not notice at first, good way to get back at them."

"I don't think Ron thinks of that," Harry chuckled, while all three pranksters looked downcast at such a missed prank.

"Was that helping?" James asked, trying very hard not to laugh.

"No," Harry said, not bothering to hide one bit his chuckles. It was rather funny looking back on it.

"You said he had it all year," Lily said, "so I already guessed he hadn't done that."

"The rest of us want to know why though," James said, pointing back at the book. Lily stuck her tongue out at him, but complied all the same.

"I don't think she'd do that," Lily said, not entirely convinced herself.

"Ron doesn't take the risk though," Harry said, still not quite understanding why he felt grateful Ron kept that broken wand.

"Was that a yes?" Remus laughed.

Harry smiled and said, "don't know, never actually saw it."

"Great," Lily huffed, "are you going to have to deal with first years, every year, getting crazy about meeting you?"

"Not every year," Harry muttered, wondering why he knew this kid in particular.

"Cameras don't work at Hogwarts," Remus said in surprise, "why would he have that?"

"Why not?" Harry asked.

"Electrical items don't work very well around magic," Sirius explained, "which is why Muggle objects, like cars for instance, have to run on magic instead. Suppose that camera probably does the same" he finished, answering for Remus.

"Yes, but he's a first year. No way would he know how to do something like that," James disagreed.

"Maybe it's one of his parents," Lily offered.

"But my watch worked just fine," Harry insisted, remembering he used to wear an old watch before the one he had on now, though he couldn't quite remember what had happened to it.

"What kind of watch was it?" James probed.

"Err, wind-up I think," Harry shrugged, "it was Dudley's but he threw it away and I kept it. Never had to replace the battery though, so yeah I'm going to say wind-up."

"Well that's why," Remus shrugged, "it doesn't exactly run on electricity either."

Harry nodded in understanding before letting the matter go.

Harry winced and rubbed his temple again, there was another old name he should have known. This feeling wasn't getting any better.

All five of them sighed, they really didn't like the way Harry's fame seemed to have somehow gone up higher than last year.

"Prove it to who?" Sirius asked. "The only people he would have showed that to were fellow wizards, who are probably in his year mind you, or muggles who don't know who he even is."

Harry just shrugged, still stuck on the annoyance someone wanted to take his picture at all.

"Well he's not wrong," James chuckled.

"But he's clearly a muggle born, if he didn't know about moving pictures," Lily said in confusion, "so I've no idea about that camera."

They were all stumped, and just decided to let it go, clearly they were never going to get the answer to that.

"This would be adorable, if it wasn't about you," Lily said sadly, "the little guy's meeting his first celebrity."

Harry didn't look any less disgruntled.

"Well that can't be good," Remus groaned, thinking of one person right away who would mock Harry for this.

"Fantastic," the others all grumbled, as if this situation wasn't bad enough already.

Harry was getting angry now. While he didn't like the attention Colin had been giving him, he still hated Malfoy for mocking the situation even more.

"Which is probably true," Sirius agreed. "Malfoy's spent all his time before Hogwarts being told what a special little pureblood he was, then he comes there and gets outshined by the famous Harry Potter at every turn."

"That was very insightful," Lily said in shock.

"You always have to sound so surprised when I say something smart," Sirius said, not really annoyed. He knew he put on a stupid front, it made others expect less of him.

"It's the way he got his-" Remus began, but then he cut himself off and just shook his head. He hated thinking about this, and there was no reason to correct someone who A) wasn't even here and B) didn't care if he corrected them anyways. He knew for a fact if he ever met a Malfoy, the situation wouldn't be good.

Harry startled for some reason, why would Ron saying that cause a memory stirring? None of the others noticed though, they were still too annoyed at Malfoy's attitude.

Sirius said, "good on ya lad, for sticking up for Harry. Knew I liked that kid."

"Why was that funny?" James asked.

"His parents threatening him like that in public, is public humiliation," Lily said, finding it ridiculous she'd have to point that out.

James shrugged, clearly he didn't understand, his parents had probably never yelled at him for anything, plus he sought out attention on his own, so Lily guessed he wouldn't really get it.

"If that's Snape, his timing is actually good for once," Remus said in surprise.

"Got too disagree with you there Moony," James huffed, "Malfoy deserved whatever Ron was going to do."

"To many untruthful witnesses," Sirius disagreed, "that would have been one of those times Moony would have stopped us, and you know it."

James thought about it for a moment, before agreeing.

"Oh not that prat again," Lily groaned.

"I think I would have preferred Snape," James spat in disgust.

"You mean you don't like the competition," Remus mocked, not even having to ask if this big headed idiot did such a thing.

"He really needs to stop doing that," Sirius said, getting angrier every time this happened. "How many times is he going to drag you at his side like that?"

Harry grimaced in disgust, but sadly couldn't answer.

Harry huffed and said, "I probably would have done it for Colin anyways, but in private. Now I just hate this all together."

"We know son," James said, wanting to go out and find Lockhart right now and smack him a good one.

"If he starts talking about himself again," Lily said in disgust, "I'm really going to wish Harry would just run off and leave the prat."

"Better start wishing then," Harry grumbled.

All of them braced themselves for yet more annoying commentary by this jerk. And they thought Quirrell had been bad! At least Harry didn't spend this much time around him. At the end of the year, yes they would always agree Quirrell had been worse, but this was hardly better.

James seethed, all the more angry an oaf like this could say anything paternally to his son, "Then you shouldn't be giving advice to anyone!"

Lily muttered mutinously for a moment, exactly on the same page as her husband. That description stung a little too close to home for them.

"Covered up?" Sirius spluttered, "he made that whole scene ten times worse!"

"You're setting him up more than anything," Remus hissed, beginning to fidget in more than annoyance now.

"Career?" Lily interrupted herself in disbelief, "you don't have a career, you're in school for crying out loud!"

Harry didn't even bother trying to soothe their tempers this time, he was all for Lockhart getting a good telling off from his family.

"You're the big headed one," Sirius pointed out, like he thought Lockhart was too daft to realize this himself, though he probably was.

"Knew it," Remus muttered to himself.

"A real accomplishment that," Lily agreed.

"That is one class I will always be in favour of you skipping," James grumbled.

All five adults winced, very much hoping Hogwarts would never even consider allowing such a thing.

"I'm sure he has his own, and just doesn't want the competition," Remus sniffed in disdain, causing at least Sirius and James to chuckle again.

"I thought he'd be pointing at the troll," James said in mock surprise.

"How'd he get that, a beauty pageant?" Sirius snapped.

"An honorary member cause he doesn't know how to really get in," Remus snarled. He didn't care what those books said he'd done now, he wasn't going to believe a word of it until he saw that for himself.

"That's the only one I'm willing to believe," James huffed.

"That is the third time you've mentioned that award," Lily scathed.

"Was that actually supposed to be funny?" Harry asked.

"No," all four of them said.

"You assigned them you twit!" Lily hissed.

"Wish they hadn't wasted the money now," James grumbled.

"Hopefully they can sell them back," Remus huffed.

"Oops," Harry muttered, knowing full well he would fail this quiz, since he knew for a fact he hadn't read those books.

"It's alright," Lily said, surprising Harry, "normally I'd be a little more upset you didn't even crack open the text, but after the way he's been acting, nobody could blame you."

Harry smiled at her, pleased she wasn't upset.

"What does that have to do with any of his books?" Remus asked in surprise.

Lily's brows nearly went up to her hairline as she continued reading down the list.

All four boys sat there, looking gobsmacked. Remus was the first to shake it off, and spluttered, "What did any of that have to do with Defence?"

"Are you saying none of those questions asked anything important from those books of his?" James asked.

"Nope," Harry said, looking as disgusted as the rest of them, "My personal favourite one was, 'What is Gilderoy Lockhart's favourite hair care product?'"

Sirius made a few gagging noises, while still in shock, Lily read on.

"Again, I feel I should demand relevance," Remus huffed.

"I'll take Kimbell any day of the week," James agreed, she had been an odd witch, but she still tried to teach them something!

Sirius opened and closed his mouth a few times, but he was running out of insults to this idiot.

Remus on the other hand looked a bit curious, he clearly had an ego the size of Hogwarts itself, but was he sincere about the harmony thing? The more he heard about it, the more he really decided he wanted to read Lockhart's books for himself.

"Don't need to imagine that," James said, seeing the same look mirrored on Harry right now.

"Guess I'm not surprised," Lily said with a shrug.

"Finally," Sirius rolled his eyes, "I don't care what he's got in there, at least he should be showing them something relevant to the class now."

Harry eyed him for a moment, wondering if Sirius would be thinking the same thing when he found out how Lockhart handled whatever was in that cage. Harry had a bad feeling about it.

Remus looked genuinely intrigued now. Lockhart must have seen some fascinating creatures through his travels, he had clearly brought some back. He might take back all of his insults to the man if he showed Harry something worthwhile.

Now all five of them were admittedly curious, the room having gone a bit silent. Despite their ragging, maybe Harry was finally going to get a decent education from this pompous teacher.

Before Harry knew it, all four of them had cracked up laughing. Harry still felt like something bad was going to happen, so he didn't understand why they were all holding their sides in a riot.

Still grasping his sides, James caught sight of Harry's face, and wheezed, "Pixies, while mischievous little buggers, are hardly more of a threat then a couple of flies. Devilish by nature, all it takes is a few freezing charm's and you'll have the whole swarm under control."

Lily recovered as well, wiping a few stray tears from her eyes as she said "We were laughing because of the way they were built up dear. Any first year could handle them. They're annoying, but not dangerous."

"I'll give him this though," Remus said, rubbing his side and unable to get rid of the grin on his face. "That is relative to the class. More than those stupid questions anyways. He built them up yes, but it is something half of them may not know about. It shouldn't even take up the rest of the class to explain how to deal with them properly."

Sirius was still having spurts of laughter on and off, so he couldn't comment at all. Harry wondered why, after their reassurances, he still felt like things got out of hand?

Finally having settled down enough Lily kept reading.

"Can't argue with that, but Seamus has more restraint than us at not outright laughing," Sirius said, finally gaining his normal breath back.

"How many were in there?" James asked.

"About twenty, or thirty," Harry said, "enough that I couldn't count."

"That's a lot to keep on hand," Remus said in shock, "you should only have a dozen, tops. That's more than enough to demonstrate."

"Yes Remus, we all know you have seven years' worth of lessons planned out," Sirius said.

"I do not," he snapped, going red in the face from embarrassment.

"So you really would want to be a teacher?" Harry asked, remembering his friends mocking him for this earlier, and feeling suddenly eager all over again. Professor Lupin, he knew he'd recognized that, was it possible...

"Like to sure," Remus said with a shrug, "but it's never going to happen. So can we move on?" he said almost pleadingly to Lily.

She gave him a very sad face, she was currently fighting very hard against some anti-werewolf legislation that was making it damn near impossible for Remus to get a job, let alone a job he'd love like teaching. She felt like if her opposing side could see her friend now, upset and flustered at such prospects being held just above his head, they would pull that law in seconds. There was nothing she could do for it right this second though.

"He did what?" Remus yelped in shock, forcefully pulled away from his depressing thoughts a second ago.

"He didn't tell you anything useful about them," James asked in disbelief, "any spells to cast, anything!"

"I knew something bad like this happened," Harry huffed, not very happy he had been right.

"How long are you going to keep going before Lockhart freezes them?" Sirius asked in disbelief, he was still stuck on the Neville bit. The poor kid sounded like he was being attacked, where was the so called teacher!

Lily was getting redder in the face the longer she kept going.

"Bloody hell," Remus yelped, "he's letting chaos in there, plus a student's dangling from the ceiling!"

"It gets worse," Harry promised.

They looked at him, only wishing he was joking. Lily was now dreading going on, how could this get worse?

"You didn't tell them how," James pointed out, feeling like taking his own wand out and shoving that dingbat in a closet with a hundred pixies.

Lily had to reread that five times before the boys were really convinced that was what she read.

"That's not a spell," Remus said, looking faint now, "that sounds like something Fred and George would have told Ron!"

"Are you saying this idiot doesn't even know the proper spell on how to freeze pixies!" Lily asked, James and Sirius looked like they had the proper spell placed on them, they were still frozen in shock.

Harry nodded absently and then said, "Yep, that's exactly what's being said, but like I said, it gets worse."

"How can it get worse than that?" James asked, finally coming out of his shock.

Harry shrugged, hating that he couldn't give them a better answer when they asked. They were used to turning to the book for an answer by now though.

That shook Sirius out of his shock, making him laugh weakly. It could only be an improvement to the situation now that that idiot..."Bloody hell, he's an f'ing liar!" Sirius yelped.

"What are you on about?" Remus asked.

"All those books, all those stupid things he's says he's done, we had it right the first time. They really must be fantasy novels, I'd bet my broomstick he doesn't know a damned thing about any magical creatures. He can't even get rid of pixies. He's putting those stupid books of his up like they're real though, and people buy it!"

Lily chewed up her lip for a moment before saying, "I agree, this man is clearly an idiot and doesn't know what he's doing, but then why would Dumbledore give him the job? Surely he knows Lockhart's lying."

"Probably the only bloke who applied for the job, and he had no choice," James said in disgust, "how long has this post been cursed now? Seems the headmaster's getting a bit desperate."

They all looked annoyed beyond all reason now, this lying idiot was teaching students nothing all year!

Lily was almost shaking with anger, she truly hoped someone outed this jerk by the end of the year, and the whole wizarding community demanded their money back!

"Poor kid seems to fall from a lot," James winced in sympathy.

"He didn't break anything again did he?" Remus asked in genuine concern.

"No," Harry said, feeling relieved that this wasn't the bad thing he remembered.

This time the boys really didn't believe Lily had read just that until they saw it for themselves.

Too disgusted to point it out this time, the book was shoved back into Lily's hand with the utmost contempt, and Lily was forced to read.

"You just walked out of there right?" James asked, "that way when that arse came back in, he would have to deal with his own problem."

Harry shook his head no, and said, "we put the rest back, it was good practice anyways."

They all huffed, not appreciating Harry's attempt at humour.

"Oh dear," Remus said in genuine concern, "they're poisonous. He did get an antidote right away, yes?"

"Yeah," Harry reassured, "his ear started swelling up, and we went to the hospital wing right after class."

"First the dragon, now a Pixie!" Sirius laughed "what's going to bite Ron next?"

"Even if that was true, and he wasn't a useless git who had no idea what he was doing," Remus said disdainfully, "he should be in the room instructing. Not, whatever the bloody hell that was!"

"At least Hermione knows what to do," Lily sighed, "otherwise you might have been there all day."

"Glad you and Ron know better at least," Lily huffed, thrusting the book towards James, "chapters over by the way."

"Hope it skips every other class of his," he muttered in disgust, but before he took the book, he turned to Harry and said, "Nothing to bad happens in the next chapter right?"


	7. MUDBLOODS AND MURMURS

Harry just shrugged and said, "How should I know? I don't even know how much time skips any more than you guys."

James hesitated for a moment, before swapping the baby that was still in his arms with the book so that Lily was now holding her little son.

James began the next chapter in a rather foul mood, he was still ticked Lockhart had lied about the book's he'd made up, and Harry was going to go another full year without a proper teacher. DADA was an important class, and Harry was having worse luck than they did about awful teachers. Still, he was determined to shake it off and enjoy the rest of Harry's year.

"Good." All four of them said gleefully, Sirius adding on, "great time for you to practice the uses of the hidden corridors."

"Why's he following you around?" Lily asked in surprise.

Harry was grimacing in annoyance again, admitting, "he liked to try and talk to me. It was bloody irritating too, because he just kept trying to ask me questions about stuff like if I was going to go on and be a Dark Wizard Catcher, when I had no idea what that was? I hated being hero worshiped."

Lily felt bad for both the kids, seeing both sides of the coins there.

James looked dearly like he wanted to say something, but he thought Lily would get mad at him again, so he held it in.

"Points for originality," Sirius chuckled, "we never did that."

"Early Quidditch practice," James agreed sagely, "not unsurprising."

"Okay," James grimaced, "I've never had to get up that early."

"Vosper got us up before dawn once," Sirius reminded him, "it was before his last game there, and he was desperate to make sure we won that one."

James nodded in remembrance, their old Quidditch Captain had been a real fanatic, like Wood apparently.

"You sound way too enthusiastic about this," Lily said lightly, feeling like laughing at these boys. They wouldn't stay up past midnight to study for exams, but would get up as early as they had to for a game.

"Wow," Remus said in surprise, "he's dedicated. I never went down with those two, I enjoyed sleeping too much."

Harry just shrugged, he still found Colin more aggravating than anything.

All four gave appreciative chuckles at that, glad photo Harry was putting up as much of a fight as the real Harry.

"I thought you said you would have, if you were alone?" Lily asked, starting to feel bad for the little first year. He was just trying to talk to Harry after all.

"That was before Lockhart made such a fuss about it," Harry said, just as flatly to his Mum as he had been to Colin.

"Wow, you were really desperate to get rid of him," James said, mouth twitching with humour.

Harry rolled his eyes at all of them, they clearly found this funnier than he had.

"Bet your camera he was," Sirius agreed proudly.

Then Harry went wide eyed as he popped himself in the head and said, "oh, Colin told me and I remember now, went on about buying that camera in Diagon Alley before he came to school. That's how he got it."

"Well that explains it," James grinned, happy that random little thing had been answered, and also understanding there was no way Harry could remember that until after all of the conversations with Colin came back to him.

"No, to the last one anyways," Harry said, looking grumpier the more James read, "a new model came out over the summer. What?" he demanded as the others just kept smiling at him.

"Sorry," Remus said, trying very hard not to laugh, "we just think it's cute is all. This kid is clearly hero worshiping you. The fact that you're taking it like this, the opposite of how your father would have, is funny as all get out to us."

James really did laugh then, unable to deny that one bit, while Harry was beginning to wonder about his dad's younger personality."Best one there is," James said with pride.

"That's it," Sirius chuckled, "wow you were really trying to get rid of him weren't you?"

"I don't want to be worshiped, then or now," Harry snapped at him, a bit more edge in his voice then he meant.

Sirius didn't look mad though, on the contrary, they all suddenly felt a little bad as they finally realized what Harry was so annoyed about. It was the same feelings they had whenever an adult tried to praise Harry for being famous. It wasn't the fame, it was what he was famous for! It must have bothered Harry greatly that this student wasn't catching on to that part, so Sirius was the one to apologize and promised not to pick on Harry about it anymore.

Harry looked surprised, but thanked him all the same.

"Uh-oh," James chuckled, "not a good idea at all."

"Why?" Lily asked.

"Cause they're all still asleep," Sirius laughed. "He should have had them do some warm ups, then sat them down and talked about real tactics."

Harry verbally agreed, saying Wood had gone on far too long with this.

"He's not even taking the hint," Remus laughed "how does he not notice his teams falling back to sleep, and not paying attention?"

"He's got a point," Lily agreed, "now seemed like the worst opportunity."

"We don't blame you one bit," James said at once, as Harry did indeed still look guilty over that, "saving the Stone was far more important than some game."

Lily pursed her lips, agreeing with James, though still thinking Harry should have never gone after the bloody thing to begin with. It was far over and done with now though, and Harry didn't look guilty anymore, so she let it go.

"Not exactly the cheerful speech to get them moving either," Sirius chuckled.

"Can you recall any of them?" James asked.

"Nope," Harry said brightly, looking back the whole scene was almost funny.

"Something I've never thought of," Remus agreed, "are cameras even allowed on the field?"

"I suppose so," James said with a shrug, "I've never heard of anyone bringing one though, so I'm not sure."

"He doesn't recognize he's a Gryffindor?" Remus asked in surprise.

"Did you know every single student in the castle?" Lily asked in disbelief.

Remus shrugged, admitting that.

"This can't be good," James said in trepidation. He had been hoping for a nice normal Quidditch practice. Clearly things were about to turn ugly.

Harry verbally agreed.

"They really can't be there then," Sirius said, getting angry now. "Two teams aren't allowed on the pitch at the same time, it causes too many problems. Wood says he booked it, so they really can't be there."

"That's clearly not stopping them," Remus huffed.

"There's hardly enough room for your ugly mug," James snapped, "let alone two teams."

"He should go and get Madam Hooch then," Sirius said "she must be close by, she usually is when there's a practice."

"Well she wasn't this time," Harry said, feeling a sense of forbidding again. He had yet another bad feeling that something was going to happen, something about Ron and slugs again?

"He can't do that," James said at once. "If the teachers could fill up the pitch for the students, there would be too much of a chance for overbooking!"

"This cannot be legit," Sirius said in disgust.

"Teams get new members all the time," Remus snapped, agreeing with his friends about the injustice of this, "that doesn't give them a right to more training."

"Please tell me you took this to Madam Hooch, instead of fighting it out," Lily said at the look on Harry's face, and the way he looked like he was about to start reaching for his wand based on his emotions at the time.

"I can say this," Harry said, digging to try and remember at least slightly what happened next, "we don't practice that day."

The three boys looked more than annoyed at this deceleration, and James read in a real temper now.

Harry rolled his eyes in disgust, why wasn't he surprised?

None of the others looked very shocked either, the little git had to try and beat Harry some other way, since he clearly couldn't do it inside school.

"He bribed his way onto the team you mean," Sirius spat.

"Probably couldn't get on any other way," James said vindictively.

"Gits," all four boys muttered.

Lily couldn't help but agree with them, but chose to stay out of this for now.

"So," Sirius snapped at once, "there are pros and cons to every broom model. You could have the fastest broom in the world, and you'd still be an awful player."

James suddenly began laughing, saying, "Well you just said it dear Padfoot," he grinned wickedly at his friends, "Malfoy is probably rubbish as a player, but he bought his way onto the team. I doubt Harry will ever lose a single match to those twats."

Harry smiled at his dad, loving the confidence he seemed to have in him.

"He's not even subtle about it," Remus said in disgust.

"Oh please," Lily huffed, "that wasn't even funny."

"Malfoy still hasn't gotten any new jokes it seemed," James said, wrinkling his nose in disdain.

"Go Hermione," all five of them praised, glad someone said it.

James cut himself off with the look of deepest shame and disgust at what he had been fixing to say.

Sirius and Remus roared in outrage, causing the baby in Lily's arms to begin fussing all over again. Lily noticed, and quickly excused herself from the room, trying very hard not to remember the last time someone had called her that.

Harry looked around at them. Clearly Hermione had just been insulted, and James hadn't even finished the insult, but Harry instinctively knew what the rest of that word was. Feeling very upset himself, he asked, "What's a mudblood?"

James jaw was tensing so much he looked like the Lockjaw curse had been set on him.

"It's a foul name for a Muggle born, about the worst thing you can call us," Lily said from behind Harry. He turned around and saw his mum, now childless, leaning against the staircase, holding herself instead. She must have gone upstairs to put the baby away.

The anger Harry felt reared up again in tenfold, now he knew for certain something awful happened, and it was because Malfoy had called his friend that.

Lily came back in and sat down in her spot, sighing she said quietly, "Just keep going James. We can't do anything for it now."

"I'm not saying it," James snapped at once, finally breaking his jaw back open, "I refuse to call anyone that."

Lily sighed in annoyance, then said, "well, since we know what he meant, just skip the word and keep going."

James did not look happy, but did as asked, skipping over that foul word but reading the rest of the sentence.

Sirius and Remus grinned viciously, Malfoy deserved whatever curse Ron pegged him with.

James sounded very pleased indeed as he read.

"Wait what!" he yelped.

"Oh dear, what curse did Ron try to use?" Lily asked fearfully.

James read quickly.

"I really want to laugh right now," Sirius said pityingly, "because I wanted that to happen to Malfoy. Poor Ron."

"Worst part is, he clearly did that spell properly, and the wand backfired on him," Remus said, wincing in sympathy.

"No the worst part is, there's no counter-curse to that," James said, feeling really bad for Ron. He had stood up for his friend, and gotten hit for it by his own wand, "now he's going to be stuck like that for at least the next twelve hours."

Harry sighed, feeling really bad for Ron.

Lily was the only one smiling though, she felt warmed that Ron had done something like this, the opposite of what her supposed 'friend' had done all those years ago.

"Not even his brothers," James huffed.

"Well like you said," Sirius said sadly, "not much they can do for the poor kid."

"They could still get those bloody Slytherins back while they're distracted," Remus pointed out.

"Remus!" Lily yelped.

Sirius however, clapped Remus on the shoulder, grinning with pride as he said, "and that's why we kept you around Moony. Always keeping us on point."

Harry and James were both laughing very loudly now, while Lily just rolled her eyes in annoyance at all four of them.

"Better than anything else they could do," James agreed, still fighting back bursts of laughter. He wasn't so angry anymore, Ron had tried to do the right thing after all.

"Why would he think that?" Harry asked, "Do I look like I know how to fix him?"

Lily smiled sadly at her son, the younger boy was clearly putting Harry on some kind of pedestal, probably viewing Harry the same way Hermione obviously viewed Lockhart.

"Bloody hell, this guy's like a doxie infestation, they just keep cropping up!" Sirius said in disgust.

"Well I've had plenty of practice hiding from him by now," Harry reminded him, making them all feel better at once.

"For such a smart kid, she seems remarkably blind this year," Remus noted.

"She's just star struck," Lily said, "hopefully it will wear off."

"Whatever he was saying, I doubt it was actually useful," Remus huffed.

"Guess he's seen worse," James agreed.

Sirius and Remus really did laugh then, James agreeing, "true enough."

"Shows a lot of his potential though," Lily said fondly, "he'd probably be doing far better in all of his classes once he got his own wand. That is Charlie's broken wand if you recall."

"We remember," James agreed.

"Oh please," Remus scoffed, "I am convinced that idiot is all books, no talent. The worst kind of Ravenclaw."

"That's still being overly kind," James scoffed, "since he clearly doesn't even know how to handle what he does read and write about."

"Wonder if he annoys everyone around school like that?" Lily asked.

"I think he does," Harry said, "at least, none of the teachers seemed happy with him all year."

"Can't imagine why," Sirius faked shock.

"So we were right," James sighed, "kind of almost wish we weren't."

"Can't even imagine what kind of idiot you're going to get next year," Remus sighed.

"Starting to," Sirius laughed, "the post has been cursed for how many years now?"

"Twenty-two by this year," Remus added on, "so, thirty-four by that time."

"And not one single person had lasted more than a year, in thirty-four years," James finished, "yeah, it's a real mystery why people aren't willing to try anymore."

James broke off again, looking disgusted, but Lily said gently, "James dear, if Ron can say it about his best friend, just spit it out. We all know you don't mean it."

"Doesn't make me feel any better about saying it," he huffed, but took a breath, and winced as he finished.

"Guess she couldn't have come across that in a book," Remus agreed.

"I am rather curious why Ron knows this," Sirius said, "surely he's never come across it, since his family would never say something like that, plus being a pureblood, nobody would have called him that."

"I asked that night," Harry said, having wondered this same thing, "he was in Diagon Alley with his dad and his co-worker Perkins. Well they got stopped inside the Leaky Cauldron by this guy, Mr. Weasley later told Ron his name was Yaxley. Yaxley, called Mr. Perkins a Mudblood, and Tom the barkeep kicked Yaxley out. Mr. Weasley told Ron what had happened afterwards, since he didn't understand at the time obviously. Ron was only eight or something."

"That's awful," Lily huffed, "for someone to go around like that in public, did Yaxley even know who this Mr. Perkin's was? You can't tell if someone's muggle born just by looking at them!"

"Ron didn't know, he's never asked," Harry said.

"I'm not too surprised," Remus said sadly, "I've seen a lot of pretty similar instances."

"Now you guys are really depressing me," Sirius said, forcing himself into brighter tones he said. "Can we move on now?"

James was more than happy to comply.

"Couldn't have put it better myself," James said with pride.

"Poor kid," Sirius said again.

"I'll take that trade any day," James huffed, "I'll back Ron up in an instant. Malfoy deserved it."

"I'm sure Ron's parents would have as well," Lily agreed, "he was standing up for a friend."

"Yeah, you've got a point there," Sirius grimaced.

James couldn't help but chuckle a bit then, Remus saying, "I see Hagrid's cooking hasn't gotten any better."

"And it never will," Harry said brightly, he missed Hagrid a lot.

The four of them couldn't help but crack a grin at that, Hagrid was clearly messing with Harry, though the boy looked far from amused.

"Thank you Hagrid," Sirius said with a straight face, "now I know the perfect way to get rid of him."

"I found a plus side to vomiting slugs," Lily said lightly, "a polite way to say no to someone's cooking."

"I'll keep that in mind," James said seriously.

"Wow," Remus said in surprise, "wish he did that more often. That must be quite the sight."

"Bigger than boulders?" Sirius laughed. "How big is he trying to get them?"

They couldn't help but smile indulgently at Hagrid, no wizard could blame him for his actions there.

"Only a strong impression?" James asked, "I thought you had a better gut feeling then that?"

"I do," Harry assured, "but since I've never been able to prove it, I just put it like that."

"Fair enough," Sirius chuckled.

"I see Ginny's still as awestruck as Colin," Remus said lightly, trying to avoid making it a joke at Harry's expense again.

"Ouch," all five of them muttered, that had to be worse than puking them up.

"That's the nice stage of the spell," James said sadly, "the poor kids going to have a come back later that night. One of the reasons that spells so tricky, it has a delayed effect."

"Damn," Sirius drew the word out, "can we have a real discussion about McGonagall's awful timing of late?"

James did agree, but ignored the stupid question anyways.

"At least it's a normal punishment this time," Remus said weakly.

"Hope Ron's 'comeback' doesn't happen then," Sirius said.

"Say what?" Lily yelped.

"I thought they banned torture?" Sirius spluttered.

"Wow, that's a new low, even for her," James said in disgust.

"I think I'd rather take the fine," Remus said, getting annoyed already at having to spend any length of time with that jerk.

"Guess that is a first for her," Sirius agreed "students don't usually ask for other detentions."

"I don't blame Harry one bit for this though," James huffed.

"Great, just great, a night of my life," Harry said in disgust.

"She has an expression for that?" Remus asked, trying to change the subject for Harry's sake.

"Yeah, we saw it a lot during the first half of last year," Harry said, a little distracted.

"Oh Harry got the worse deal by far," James said at once.

"The way you say it like that," Lily huffed, never appreciating those random comments by her son "that's not normal."

Harry shrugged, it was true.

"Here I thought his head couldn't get any bigger," Remus snorted in disgust.

"Better than me," Sirius groaned at the mere thought of that, "I would have just ignored him."

"If Harry remembers anything about you, it will be the hundreds of people you hoodwinked into thinking you're a decent person," Lily snapped.

"I note McGonagall didn't say what time he could leave," James said miserably, wishing now he could have given Harry yet another of his old things, that two way mirror would have come in handy by then.

"That's for the punishing teacher to decide," Remus reminded him, though James of all students should have known that himself from all of his detentions, "so it's up to Lockhart."

"Err, James, now's not the time for those kinds of jokes," Lily said, looking a little queasy as to why her husband would have said something like that.

"I wasn't joking," he whispered, looking suddenly very upset. That had been very close to the way Harry had described Voldemort's voice last year...it couldn't be possible Voldemort was hanging around Lockhart to...was it?

James didn't give his friends a chance to put their two cents in, he read the words quickly.

Harry shuddered in disgust, his Dad wasn't doing a very good job of capturing just how creepy that voice had been.

"Damn James," Sirius muttered, rubbing where his heart was, "I was putting money on a student trying to scare someone with a creepy voice, but I can't see many students saying that."

"You don't think," Remus began hesitantly, "perhaps Vol-"

"Don't." Lily snapped, her eyes suddenly shining brightly, "just don't. I can't stand it if Voldemort's come back again this year. Let's say Sirius is right for now, and skip past this to Lockhart wetting his pants."

Harry was rubbing his temple again, there was something about what his Mum had just said that didn't feel right, but James only seemed reassured enough to read on.

There was a very nasty pause at Lockhart's words, surely the guy would have freaked out as much as Harry had.

James kept going in a very uneasy tone of voice.

"He didn't," Sirius broke off, looking worriedly at Harry he tried again, "Lockhart wouldn't have been faking it?"

"I don't see how," Harry huffed, now rubbing his temple in real pain, "it was loud enough to me, but he didn't react at all."

All four of them exchanged very uneasy looks now. Why had Harry suddenly heard a voice someone else hadn't?

James mind floundered as he tried desperately to think of something, Harry was looking around at all of them clearly very concerned at their reactions.

It was Remus who took a brave stab and said, "I'm sure you ah, heard something like a ghost just being a jerk. Lockhart couldn't hear it over his own prattling."

None of them looked convinced at all, they had lived at that castle for seven years and never heard of anything like a ghost doing that, but James still read on.

They were all still too freaked out to make an annoyed comment at Lockhart's not noticing it was midnight!

Sirius finally took a brave stab at attempting normal conversation again, "Guess you should be lucky you got the detention you did. Filch has kept me there since two sometimes, he liked making me stay late."

"Maybe that's because you insulted him while you worked," Remus said distractedly, still straining his mind for a reasonable explanation to Harry's problem.

"Why was the Quidditch cup in the trophy room?" Lily asked distractedly, "I thought, since Slytherin won last year, Snape would have it."

"Snape lent it to Filch that night, just for Ron's detention," Harry said bitterly, having asked that very thing the next morning.

"Poor kid," Sirius said for the final time, hoping that was the last of that curse.

"That's the end of the chapter," James sighed, passing the book along to Sirius.

* * *

*I'm not sure what to call this, a nonverbal spell? His wand being screwy? Ron just did some very powerful magic though, and it's really glossed over how advanced something about that is.


	8. THE DEATHDAY PARTY

"Is it so impossible for you to have a year without something creepy happening to you?" Lily huffed before Sirius could start.

"Apparently," Harry grumbled.

Sirius started the chapter with some unease, he really didn't want that voice to start becoming a regular thing around the castle.

"Sibling love I suppose," James chuckled.

"Is that why you guys forced me to take some," Remus huffed, "even though I don't get colds."

"Had to keep up your 'sick' appearance somehow," Sirius said brightly.

They all gave weak chuckles at that description, hoping to put those dark words out of their mind for now.

"How do you even get muddy?" Lily demanded, "You play up in the air?" She was far more concerned with her son getting sick from spending so much time in the cold and wet then the actual act of being covered in muck.

There was a quick argument where both James and Sirius tried to answer her at once, and while they were doing that Harry told her, "It's mostly from walking around in it before and after we land. I didn't bring a change of clothes and shower like most of the other's do."

While both his father, and godfather, pouted at him for not being able to talk about their favourite sport, Sirius huffed and grumbled a bit more before simply reading.

Harry suddenly looked rather crestfallen, hating that his team's spirits were being sunk so low because of stupid Malfoy, again.

"I stand by what I said," Sirius said, "they can be as fast as they like, doesn't make them good."

Harry looked a little better for that.

"Guess he would still be on about that," Remus said, laughing for real this time.

"What's that?" Harry asked.

"Every year, Nick tries to join the Headless Hunt," James told him, "but obviously he can't get in, since he's not actually headless."

"He's been trying to for centuries," Sirius agreed, "you'd think he'd take the hint."

"How do you make transparent letters?" Harry asked in surprise.

"That's really complicated magic that only ghosts know how to work," Lily said sadly, "no one's ever been able to get them to tell either. They say it's a secret that stays with death."

"That's how Binn's works his notes in class," James agreed, "same kind of principle. We've talked to every ghost in that school countless times, but no one's ever told us."

"Buggers," Sirius huffed, "the Bloody Baron once snapped at me that he hoped I didn't turn into a ghost, just so I'd leave him be."

"Well, you bothered him the most out of every ghost," Remus chuckled.

"Oh, so now you're on his side?" Sirius asked, not finding this as fun as he would have before they started reading these books. They had all joked about their deaths before now, inevitable in the era of fear they lived in, but it just didn't seem as funny now that four out of the five people in the room knew they were going to die in the next year of their time.

This fact became clear to James when it seemed Remus didn't want to continue, so James saved him by asking Sirius to keep reading.

"Sadly, not," Lily sighed, "because whoever did it didn't actually behead him."

"Poor guy," James said sadly, "we once told him he should start his own Nearly Headless Hunt. I thought he took to the idea, but apparently it didn't work."

"I can't imagine there are that many ghosts that are nearly headless," Remus said sadly, "Nick's kind of singular in that aspect."

"Well that was sweet," Lily smiled.

"Oh yeah, that's how we got all of the ghosts in the castle on our side," Sirius agreed, "just listen to them for a few minutes. They're so grateful, most of them will do you a favour whenever you ask."

"That explains so many times you lot must have been the cause of something, but no one could prove it. Plus how you knew so many of the student's secrets," Lily smiled.

"Yes well, now that Sirius has just ruined one of our best secrets," James said, pretending to be mad.

Sirius grinned at him, playing along as he 'huffily' read on.

"Why would she be hanging around Harry?" Remus asked in confusion, "he's not actually doing anything wrong."

"I've got a bad feeling about this," Sirius muttered, that cat never showed up for a good reason.

"He didn't use the Pepperup Potion like everyone else?" Harry asked in surprise.

"Most potions don't work on non-magical folks," Lily said sadly.

"Is that how you knew he was a squib?" James asked her curiously.

"Sure," Lily said with a shrug, "why else wouldn't he use magic to do his job like the rest of us?"

"What's a squib?" Harry asked.

"The opposite of a Muggleborn," Sirius said, "a non-magical person born to Wizard kind."

"Oh," Harry said, nodding in content.

The others just felt happy Harry had interrupted them to ask this, since this wasn't the first time they had mentioned that word, but Harry hadn't asked before. He must be feeling more comfortable around them.

"Good point," Remus amended his earlier statement, "Harry, you should run for it."

Harry winced, guessing pretty well he didn't get away with it.

"Turd knocker," James huffed.

"Harry can't get into trouble for that though," Lily defended, "there's no actual rule saying he can't track mud through the school."

"Not going to stop him from yelling at my pup though," Sirius huffed in annoyance, deciding to just get this over with.

"Wow," James laughed, "he's causing his own problems now."

"What's he doing anyways?" Remus asked, "Like Lily said, he can't actually punish Harry for that?"

Harry just shrugged.

The three trouble makers looked like they wanted to be heartbroken. Harry was in his second year now and didn't know half the good things that school had to offer, like Filch's filched cabinet. So dubbed because of all the things the caretaker had confiscated from other students, and the Marauders had put to use.

Lily was the only one who looked happy to hear this. After a short pause Sirius kept going.

"By the end of our seven years, we had our own cabinet to ourselves," James said proudly.

"And that's just the things they caught us doing," Sirius said, giving Harry a wink.

"Did he switch it then?" Remus asked in a conversational tone of voice, "I thought he wanted to string us up by our thumbs?"

"He must change it around, for fun I'm sure," Harry chuckled.

"Aw, he does remember us," Sirius said, pressing a hand over his heart.

"Or Peter anyways," James snickered, "since that one was his idea."

Then all three friends frowned again, having avoided thinking about their friend acting oddly, but now thinking about it all over again

Lily piped up to distract them, "I want to know about the 'great sizzling dragon bogies', how do you even get a hold of those?"

"The twins would know I'm sure," Sirius said, shaking himself firmly so that he could read on.

"There's still not actually a crime," Remus huffed again.

The three boys let out great snorts of amusement at that, James saying, "that's one of the vaguest rules there is!"

"I always took that to mean we weren't supposed to go leaving our personal stuff lying around. Which no one does anyways," Sirius said thoughtfully, then added, "or even no cursing in the corridors, which no one enforces very much."

"He's probably going to have you do his job for him again," Sirius grumbled, "that's his favourite punishment."

"Timing," Remus said with a victorious grin.

"Finally, it worked out in Harry's favour," James agreed.

"Or the twins," Sirius offered, "we know they're troublemakers, but we actually haven't gotten to see them do too much."

"The twins are what, in their fourth year now?" James asked, "Unless they were trying to get caught on purpose, which I'd like to hear their motive for, they wouldn't be stupid enough to do that right above Filch's office."

"You lot are reading into this way too much," Lily laughed when it looked like Remus was about to add something else on.

Remus looked slightly abashed, but James and Sirius just exchanged mischievous grins, more than happy to put up with trouble abound at the school, rather than creepy voices following Harry.

"Agreed," Remus nodded, "he'll come back, wanting to write up a report on Peeves again, and tell you to leave. He'll have forgotten all about why you're even there."

Harry grinned, agreeing with all of them. Whoever it was, he was thanking their timing.

"Good," James nodded, "if you'd tried to sneak away, he would have found your form later and come after you for, for sneaking away. Staying there means he'll let you go from sheer annoyance."

Harry was laughing, while Lily rolled her eyes at him, he clearly had way too much experience with this.

"Poor dear," Lily said, "is he still trying those?"

"How did you know about them?" James asked in surprise.

"I saw him trying one once when he was cleaning up a potion's mess in the dungeons. He was looking at that sheaf of parchment and waving a wand, but nothing happened. I'd figured out he was a Squib already, and I felt awful for him."

"Wonder where he got the wand," Remus butted in.

Lily shrugged, she hadn't stopped to ask him that personal question.

"No pity hear," Sirius shrugged, "maybe if he wasn't such a jerk about it I would."

Lily gave him the stank eye and snapped, "how did you lot figure it out?"

"Peter did," Remus said, frowning again at the reminder of his missing friend. "He was in detention with Filch, helping him mop up some accident in a charms class one night, and Filch kept going on about how 'these magical brat's couldn't get the simplest things' and such, and Peter snapped 'well why don't you just magic it away, then we can both go to bed'. Filch snapped at him to shut it, but after that we kept an eye on Filch, and realized he never did magic."

"I'll admit, we did feel bad for him at first," James said, "why would he get the job he had, it's like a constant reminder. But then the very next day he tossed Sirius in detention for cursing some Slytherin who had got him last week, and yeah pity gone. Life went on from there."

Lily sighed, but she couldn't disagree with at least part of James logic. Why would Filch get a job where he was constantly being reminded that he had no magical ability? She still felt bad for the poor dear, wishing she could do something for him, but there was nothing to be done by it at least right now.

"Would those even work though?" Harry asked, "If you don't have any magical abilities, could you learn it like that?"

"Nope," Remus said sadly, "Filch is just torturing himself more. The Kwickspells are for those who are struggling with magic, not incapable of it all together."

"Well at least these wizards are putting it to good use," Sirius chuckled, "showing off is the best way to prove yourself!"

"I can't tell if you're joking," Lily asked, knowing she really didn't want an answer.

Sirius didn't give her one, instead he kept reading.

Harry felt an electric shock rocket up his spine, though the moment it passed he was left confuzzled. So Peeves tried to break something, what was new about that?

"He tried to break the vanishing cabinet," James said, looking rather upset himself, "that thing was awesome though! You could stuff people in there, and they'd disappear for days!"

"I am going to say you're joking, and not let you respond to that," Lily snapped, not wanting to hear an excuse for their use of that.

"Oops," Remus winced, "when Peter nearly figured it out, Filch turned pretty nasty to him. This might not be good."

"Ah, he'll just yell at Harry like he did Peter," Sirius shrugged, "if he did anything worse, than Harry would know for sure, and spread it around."

"Harry wouldn't do that," Lily huffed.

"I know," Sirius said, "but Filch doesn't."

Harry smiled, he had been rather insulted for a moment, thinking Sirius actually thought he was that kind of person, but instantly mollified.

"Good," James nodded, "you've gotten marginally better at that."

Harry grinned at him, while Lily rolled her eyes again. These boys were far too eager to corrupt her son.

"Okay, I'm feeling bad for him again," Remus said, wincing at that pathetic lie.

"Still not," Sirius shrugged, "he brings it on himself."

The three boys laughed again, never growing tired of Harry's vivid depictions.

"It's certainly up there," Sirius agreed, "we only got away with it once before, for something similar actually."

"What happened," Harry asked eagerly.

"Peter got caught spreading rat intestines under all of the tables in the great hall," James grinned, "by Filch. Well we saw that, and we decided to distract him so we started a fight with this kid, Aubrey or something, by using a hex we made up. Filch caught us instead of Peter."

"So, you didn't actually get away with anything," Lily asked with a raised brow.

"No," Sirius shrugged, "but Peter did, which still counts."

"Did what work?" Lily asked, confused at once.

"Oh wow," James said with glee, "you mean Nick set that up! That's brilliant!"

"Guess we taught him a thing or two," Sirius said with real pride.

"Agreed," Remus nodded, "Nick did a favour for you, and if you at least try to return it, the exchange can be kept up for the rest of the time you're there."

"Eesh," all five of them shivered, having all experienced that at least once.

Lily smiled brightly, giving James a real loving smile as she said, "I remember the first time I went to one."

"We went our last year there," James said to Harry, who was looking between his parents at the obvious exchange, "to his 485th Deathday party. It wasn't that big of a turn out, just the school ghost's mostly. Nick invited us in thanks for our help, we'd done with something else for him earlier that week, and I invited Lily as our first date."

"Your first date was to a deathday party?" Harry asked, unable to decide whether he was supposed to laugh or not.

"Yeah, I mocked him for that to," Sirius agreed, "I kept saying it was a bad omen and such, but look how wrong I was," he finished more than happy at the turn of events.

"I only said yes because of how much I wanted to go," Lily said, unable to keep the smile off of her face, "not because you asked me James. If I'd said yes to you every time you'd asked me out-"

"Yes, yes," he said, waving her off, "but you finally did. That's my point."

Lily chuckled and Harry smiled brightly at them. For the first time he wondered if this was new information to him? Upon hearing this little story, he hadn't felt a settling feeling in him, like he should have known this already. He wondered if he'd ever found out about this before, and knew before he had even formed the question in his mind he hadn't. He felt very happy and content now, and Sirius gave him a small smile before reading.

"Happy," James explained. "Ghosts celebrate their ages backwards from us. The longer they've been dead, the prouder they feel."

"Why though?" Harry asked, "it's not like they could die again, so what's there to be proud of being a ghost that long?"

"They've got to be proud of something," Remus shrugged, "honestly I think being a ghost would get rather boring, very quickly. So they've got to come up with something to keep up with the times."

"You should go," all four of them said at once, James adding on, "you can go to the feast any old year. This is a real treat, hardly any humans ever get to go to these things!"

"Well they're not exactly human friendly," Lily remembered, "but it is quite the experience."

Harry smiled indulgently at them, deciding against reminding them that his decision had already been made before they even heard about this. He also refrained from asking what his Mum had meant by 'human friendly'.

"Ah, Sir Patrick himself is going to be there," Remus said, "now I see why Nick is so peeved. He probably sent him a Deathday invitation, along with another request to join the Headless Hunt. Maybe he thought they'd take pity on him on his Deathday."

"I doubt anyone telling Patrick how scary Nick is would change their minds though," James said, "since it's not a matter of fear or respect. It's the matter of his head's still attached."

"Fascinating is a good word for it," Lily agreed.

"Very interesting things," James snickered.

"That didn't kill it did it?" Harry asked in concern.

"Nah," Remus said, "well, if it's a normal salamander yeah, but I don't think Fred and George seem that cruel. It's most likely a Fire Salamander, in which case-"

"Don't," Sirius cut him off, eyeing Harry bright eyed, "I want to see his face when the twins do it."

Remus just grinned and kept quiet.

Harry grinned as he now vividly remembered the sight of that, making the three boys crack up laughing as they had done that to about a hundred Fire Salamanders at their last end of term banquet, that had been a night to remember.

Sirius broke off reading for a few minutes to tell Harry this, giving him all sorts of goofy details, and by the time they started reading again, they were happier in that moment then they had been in a while.

"They spread rumours around like that every year," James snorted. "Usually, nothing to exciting happens, you're better off at Nick's party."

"That sounds awful," Harry winced, now remembering it vividly himself.

"I really don't know why they did that," Lily agreed, "they can still hear perfectly fine, so my guess is Nick just has a horrible taste in music."

Sirius snorted with amusement.

"This doesn't seem that different from the one we went to," Remus mused.

"How did all of that stuff get set up?" Harry asked, "it didn't seem ghostly."

"The teachers help out I think," James said, "honestly, we never thought to ask."

Lily grimaced and said, "can't blame her there."

"Who's Moaning Myrtle?" Harry asked.

"Some wailing ghost who died in her fourth year," Sirius said, "she loves crying around all day, a real bore honestly."

"Why?" Harry asked, none of the other ghosts seemed so upset.

Remus snorted in amusement and said, "because she died when she was fourteen, so the whole world is still melodramatic to her."

"How did she die?" Harry asked, really getting curious now.

James answered, "apparently she died in the bathroom that she prefers to haunt, a girl's loo on the first floor. She said she saw an eye and died," then he trailed off laughing.

"We always thought she was exaggerating that," Sirius shrugged, "since the amount of things you look in the eye, and die from, are so rare she couldn't have run into one at Hogwarts. But we never got another answer out of her either. After she told us that, all she'd ever talk about was the girl she came back to haunt, don't remember her name anymore."

Harry nodded, feeling content with these answers, but he had that feeling again. He knew Myrtle hadn't been lying, should know what killed the girl, but his mind seemed to be a blank space when he needed it.

"Try every year," Lily rolled her eyes, nice to know some things never changed.

All four boys snickered, at least none of the boy's bathroom had that problem.

"Not going to be any good food though," Sirius said in disgust, wrinkling his nose in remembrance.

Harry wanted to ask about that, but he figured he was about to get his answer anyways.

Sirius looked and sounded like he was reading about kicked puppies.

"Really Sirius, it's just food," Lily scoffed.

"Perfectly good food, that went to waste so that some ghost can have the impression of eating it," Sirius disagreed, then read on in the same tragic tone.

"Why?" Harry asked, "can they taste it then?"

"No," James said, "but being rotten like that increases its flavours-"

"The bad ones," Sirius huffed.

James ignored him "-and it's as close as they can get."

"Peter actually was sick," Remus snickered in remembrance, "Sirius and I dragged him out of there before he could vomit on anything else."

Sirius chuckled and said, "well the smell of vomit was pretty strong to my nose, so they should have thanked him."

"That's it," Remus nodded, "that's what made Peter puke. He popped a mouldy peanut in his mouth."

"This is really gross," Lily snapped at them, "and you boys need to stop it now."

Harry was still laughing at the lot of them, so Lily didn't seem to upset.

"Oh great," Lily sighed, "that poltergeist is the worst."

"Nah, I've seen worse," James disagreed, he personally had a lot of fond memories of Peeves, mixed with bad of course. No one stayed on a Poltergeists good side for long.

Sirius snorted with mirth, that wasn't a sentence you got to hear a lot.

"To be fair," Lily sighed, "she calls herself that, and we avoid her because of it, so she thinks we call her that. Really though, no one in the castle cares enough about a ghost to go around calling her that."

"Lily," James laughed, "no one was actually accusing anyone of doing that. It's just Myrtle being, well Moaning Myrtle."

"Wow, Peeves is even mean to the ghosts," Harry said in surprise.

"Peeves has no bounds," Sirius said brightly.

"I might feel bad," Lily said, still looking a little upset, "if she didn't do that even when you tried to be nice to her. Then she would just accuse you of lying, and do the same thing."

"Not really," Harry muttered.

"It's something new though," James said bracingly.

"Do ghosts just travel by, err, floating," Harry asked, "did she walk all that way?"

"You know, I'm not sure," Remus said, suddenly puzzled by the question. "We only ever met the ones in the castle, but never outside of them. I've no idea how they get about traveling."

Harry nodded, only looking marginally disappointed. He couldn't expect his family to know the answer to every one of his odd questions.

"Cool," Lily said, "the Headless Hunt didn't make an appearance when we were there, so this should be interesting to see."

Harry was frowning again, not just at the way he felt about this rather depressing party, but because of something to do with Sir Patrick.

"Bet he wishes he could take back his invitation now," James said sadly, "he probably doesn't want the lot of them at his party, rubbing it in that Nick couldn't join."

"How does a horse become a ghost?" Harry asked.

"If the horse had a bond with their rider, the rider can choose to take the horse with him. Same with any familiar," Lily shrugged.

"And he's showing off to boot," Sirius said, rather upset on Nick's behalf.

No one in the room did, they were all sharing Nick's feelings of annoyance at yet another pompous person, even if it was a ghost.

Lily gave a sniff of disdain, was that really necessary?

"Why is that funny?" Harry asked.

"Ghost joke, I guess," Sirius shrugged, "kind of like slapping someone randomly is funny to other people."

"Why does he act like he's never seen 'live 'uns' before?" Remus rolled his eyes, "we're more common than the ghosts are."

"We're not arguing that you shouldn't let Nick join," Lily said hotly, "were saying you shouldn't rub it in."

The four boys gave Lily an odd look, but decided not to say anything to that.

Harry was wincing in shame, he hadn't done a very good job of paying Nick back just then. Maybe he would take Sirius up on that 'lying lessons' offer.

"I think that's about when we left," Harry said, looking as mad as everyone else in the room, "they were being really rude to Nick, but we couldn't really do anything about it."

"Guess I don't blame you," Lily said sadly.

"Well that was awful," Remus said sadly.

"Poor Nick," Sirius agreed.

Sirius suddenly shivered in disgust, but no one needed to ask why. Looking like he dreaded every word, Sirius finished.

"Not again," Lily moaned.

"Why is that happening," Harry said, hoping someone would have thought of an idea by now.

"Perhaps Hermione might have a good idea, or even Ron," James offered, "because I've still got nothing."

Harry looked very disappointed now, as did the others. They were genuinely happy and surprised Harry seemed to be relying on them for some kind of answer, which made them all the more upset when they had no idea what Harry was hearing.

"They..." Remus said faintly, "they don't hear it either?"

"They were looking at me, not where I was looking," Harry agreed sadly.

"Must be a Phantom then," Sirius muttered, "can't think of anything else that could move up like that, still without being seen, but why can't anybody but Harry hear it?"

Remus hated not being able to figure it out.

"Did last year not teach you anything?" Lily asked faintly, "Why are you chasing the blood sniffing voice!"

"Because I was the only one hearing it!" Harry said, looking very frustrated by now, "and I wanted to know I wasn't crazy, so I was looking for whatever it was."

"You are not crazy Harry," Sirius said at once, with no doubt in his voice at all, "there is a reason for this! We just, haven't figured it out yet..." he trailed off, looking rather miserable at his confession.

Harry nodded, looking a little comforted.

All five of them shivered in disgust, Harry had a very bad feeling about what he was fixing to find.

'If it smells blood, doesn't that mean someone's already hurt' Lily thought to herself, not wanting Harry to hear that.

All four adults looked like they dearly wanted to scream at Harry to get away from there! They had more than enough of him charging into danger last year, and most of the time it hadn't been his fault. Now he was actively looking for something that was dangerous! The only thing holding all four of them back, was the knowledge that Harry had done this many years ago already. Yelling now would do him no good, and he already looked upset enough at thinking he was hearing voices.

Sirius sucked in a deep breath, fearing what he was about to read, but reading all the same.

Sirius cocked his head to the side, then released a shaky breath of relief.

"What was that?" Lily asked. "The Chamber of Secrets? Is that a joke?"

"You've never heard of it?" James asked.

"No, and what's this to do with a voice Harry's hearing?" Lily said, still looking rather upset, though the three boys looked far less so.

James explained, "Well, as for Harry, I'm not really sure. I'm still thinking Remus should be right, and it might be some pureblood around the castle stirring up trouble. I, can't figure out how yet," he paused looking frustrated for a moment, before continuing, "but as for the Chamber itself. There's this old myth around the school that Salazar Slytherin built a secret chamber or something in the school, and if a pureblood found it, they could release a monster that would destroy all who were 'unworthy'."

Sirius said, "we looked for that thing for all seven years, never found a stinking trace of it."

"And why does this make Harry hearing a voice okay?" Lily demanded.

"Well, it doesn't," Remus shrugged, "the reasons for that are still weird, but the fact that Harry was lead there by that voice, it must mean something."

Harry was nodding, he looked less panicky now and seemed content again, so they must be on the right track. Lily sighed, leaning into Harry again for a moment, before Sirius finally decided to read on.

"Do I want to know?" Lily demanded.

Harry said nothing, trying desperately to remember what this thing was, and knowing he wasn't going to like the answer.

"Someone killed that cat!" Sirius yelped in shock.

"The poor thing," Lily said, then she went a little bug eyed and yelped, "A student killed a cat!"

"Damn," James winced, "we've never even hated Mrs. Norris that much."

"I think you missed the point of that James," Remus said, looking as upset as Lily, "it wasn't that Mrs. Norris is dead, which yeah is awful, it's that a student killed her! What kid is that kind of horrible to kill an animal, and leave it hanging up in the school? Assuming Lockhart didn't kill her of course, which would be-"

"She's not dead," Harry finally blurted, then he clenched up and grabbed hold of his head again. He had been trying very, very hard not to blurt that out, because he knew the pain it would cause, but the fact that they kept saying it over and over, and he knew it was wrong, it had just come out!

After a few minutes of panting and forcing his muscles to relax again, he finally looked up and around to begin, "Sor-"

"Stop that," James snorted, not looking very mad, just a little upset, "we were wrong, and you knew it, so you corrected us. I'm sorry it hurt you to do it, but you shouldn't be sorry you did it."

Harry nodded, then asked hesitantly and said, "err, any ideas what can petrify a cat?" Then he winced again, wondering what made him use that choice of words.

"A couple of spells," James shrugged, "in which case someone's just playing a really cruel joke on the cat. Boy I hope that's the case."

"I can only think of one thing that would actually petrify though," Remus said, taking more note of Harry's choice of words, "a Gorgon." Remus suddenly looked very frustrated, "but there's no way that could get around the castle without being seen."

"You said the same thing about a Mountain Troll," Sirius pointed out.

"Yes, but that was let in by a te-" Remus cut himself off and shoved his face into his hands as he realized what he was about to say.

"Lockhart can't handle pixies, let alone a Gorgon," Sirius said weakly, then automatically corrected himself, "of course, Quirrell the stuttering fool was actually skilled and fooled us as well."

"Fooled me," Harry corrected, "you guys are only seeing what I did. It's not your fault I didn't notice some things full grown wizards might have."

"None of the teachers seemed to do anything about it," Lily sniffed 'except Severus' she privately added, though she suddenly realized his real motives had never been fully revealed in that book. Why hadn't Severus gone to Dumbledore if he was trying to stop Quirrell?

"Well, if it is Lockhart, we're certainly on to him before we were Quirrell," James said bracingly, "let's keep going Sirius, and Harry can pipe up if he remembers anything else, without causing his head to explode," he finished paternally.

Harry smiled round at all of them, pleased beyond measure at their absolute faith that he wasn't going crazy, and doing their very best to keep him comfortable.

"He's got a point," Lily agreed at once, "I don't want anyone trying to blame you three for doing that."

"Why?" Remus asked in confusion, "no one's common room is on the second floor. They should have kept going right up the main staircase?"

Harry sighed at his misfortune as he said, "like with the dancing skeleton's thing, there was another rumour Dumbledore was supposed to do some kind of show in that particular corridor. Guess that one might have been true. I can't think of any other reason we got caught right then."

"That's exactly what I was hoping to avoid," Lily groaned.

"Why is it you three seem to hop upon everything," James grumbled.

"Cause otherwise, my school years would have been boring," Harry said just as unpleased as his father.

Sirius winced this time, but recognized it would be ridiculous if he refused to say it when everyone knew he didn't mean it.

Sirius gritted his teeth in distaste while Remus huffed and said, "can't imagine who would say a thing like that!"

"I really wish I could punch out whoever taught him that word," James muttered.

Lily just looked depressed all over again, unable to hear that word without another Slytherin shouting it at her in the middle of a crowded court yard.

"I've got it!" Remus suddenly yelped

"Got what?" Sirius laughed, passing Harry the book

"I think it's Malfoy that's been doing this."


	9. THE WRITING ON THE WALL

"That's ridiculous Remus," Lily said, "Malfoy isn't nearly capable enough to be pulling off these kinds of stunts."

"What, making creepy voices and stunning cats?" he demanded back.

James and Sirius exchanged a look, before Sirius said, "I can see that. Malfoy's a pureblood, so he's got means and motive to pull this. Plus he hates Harry, so that could be why he's singling him out."

"But how though?" James said uneasily, clearly siding with his wife on this, "I'm still stuck on why Harry's the only one hearing this. I can't imagine why a second year would know how, and we can't."

"His Dad's a Death Eater," Remus shrugged, "I wouldn't be too surprised if he knew a few things we never will."

Harry was looking torn, his twelve year old mind really wanting to agree with Sirius and Remus, while something else was holding him back from saying this aloud.

Not wanting to cause another stir of pain in him, none of them really wanted to ask Harry another question, in fear it would cause another memory blast he couldn't handle. So out of any more usable information, and without an input himself Harry read.

Or the fact that his cat disappeared for more than ten minutes," Sirius muttered, this time without any real heat. Even he felt bad for Filch for what was about to happen.

"I really do feel bad for him," James said, knowing full well that cat was one of the only things Filch actually cared for.

"Pity gone," Remus said at once, having at first sided with his friends, but now knowing for a fact Filch was going to blame Harry for it.

"Harry didn't do anything wrong," Lily said at once, her sorrow for the cat still lingering, "and there are a dozen ghosts that can prove it. No way should he be blamed for this."

"Not going to stop Filch," Sirius muttered.

"Really!" James yelped, going red in the face, "did he really just threaten to kill you!"

Harry still looked rather upset and said, "Yeah, but he didn't mean it."

"I don't know," Sirius said bitterly, "the few times someone's actually tried to get at that cat, they tend to wind up in the worst kinds of detentions. If someone did do something like stun and string up his cat..."

"Don't," Lily snapped at him, "or at least wait until they catch whoever did do it. He's not going to do anything to Harry."

Sirius shrugged in surrender

"I thought Lockhart's office was on the second floor?" James asked. "Why did he move it upstairs?"

"Why would you remember something like that?" Lily asked in disbelief.

"I always know where all the teacher's offices are," James said, grinning like a child again, "even if I'm not at the school."

"For some odd reason, someone released a bunch of Cornish Pixies in his room," Harry said innocently, "I've no idea who could have gotten the idea. Ron and I were sure it was just a coincidence we had mentioned our disastrous first lesson to Fred and George that day."

The three boys looked at Harry like he had suddenly turned blue. Remus was the first to gasp, "and you didn't mention this because!?"

Harry shrugged, forcing an innocent look to cross his face as he said, "Like I said, it was just a coincidence-"

"Don't," Sirius said, then he let out a bark like laughter, his eyes shining with mirth as he continued, "don't even try that one on us Harry. Did you really do it, or-"

"No," Harry interrupted, not bothering to hide his smile anymore, "I meant that. Fred and George really did do it. They were looking for an excuse to get at Lockhart themselves, and apparently those Pixies destroyed his office. For some weird reason, no one had fixed it yet..."

"Guess that moron couldn't fix it himself," Lily chuckled, "and at this point he's annoyed the other teachers so much they wou-"

"Harry!" James yelped, finally coming out of his shock, then shocking his own son by grabbing him up in a hug, "I can hardly believe how proud I am. It's certainly the best start into pranking I've ever heard."

Harry was laughing like a pure child. Really, he hadn't mentioned this because he hadn't been directly involved in Fred and George's prank. He hadn't even realized he'd given them the idea. He and Ron had been talking about it in the courtyard though, and when the twin's had commented on it he had thought they were just commiserating yet another bad teacher. Then the next day, they heard Lockhart had to change offices, only learning the details that night. He hadn't realized his dad and, (uncles? friends? he still wasn't sure what to make of them) would take this as an introduction to being a master prankster like they had. Even his mom didn't look mad, she like the others seemed to think Lockhart deserved whatever he got.

Only after giving them the full details that he knew of would they let him continue. Just before though, they did demand that he tell them any time even the smallest thing like this ever happened again.

"Probably the most useful thing he did that year," James snickered.

"Did you know," Remus said brightly, "that paintings are imbued with the personalities and memories of who they were painted of. Often times, they even reenact what the real person did in their free time."

Harry chuckled, fully realizing what Remus was saying, and laughing all the more when Sirius pretended to be shocked while saying, "Oh come now Moony. I'm sure a man like Lockhart wouldn't put his hair in rollers!" Then he dissolved into laughter without being able to continue.

Harry waited patiently before continuing.

"I don't get it," Lily asked, confused, "why don't they just unfreeze her?"

Harry was twitching because of his mother's question, before saying out loud, "Something about what you said doesn't sound right. It's more complicated than that, or" he trailed off, but Lily smiled and nodded at him, saying, "It's alright dear. Guess we'll find out as you do."

All four boys scowled at this, finding it rather annoying how whenever something bad seemed to be happening, Snape was smiling right along. Why was he even there, he had nothing to do with this! It was Lockhart's office, fine, and they were McGonagall's charges, but Snape had no reason to be there! There was absolutely no point in anyone grumbling about this though, they wanted their answers to much to point out something they wouldn't get an answer to.

"As useless as ever I see," Remus snorted. He seemed to find him more annoying than any of them. Feeling personally offended that this joke of a wizard got a position he could never have.

James wanted to blurt out what an idiot he was, but forced himself to remain silent when he reminded himself he had been thinking the same thing until Harry corrected him.

"The more I hear about him, the more I wish he had gone on all of those stupid adventures," Sirius huffed, "then he would have died from his own ineptitude." He was rather annoyed that he had been wondering the same thing before they found out Mrs. Norris wasn't dead. "He clearly has an idea what he's talking about, but since he can't execute a first year charm, that makes him talking all the more annoying!"

"There isn't a countercurse for that," Lily huffed, "it's practically as bad as the Three Unforgivable curses. The only reason it didn't make it on the list, making four, is because its effects aren't as bad."

"What does it do exactly?" Harry asked.

"It transfigures the body in painful ways," Sirius said, "like twisting an arm or a leg out of socket. I was wondering, if aimed right, that's what happened to the cat. You know twisted its tail out of place or even it's neck. If it was dead long enough, the body would have gone rigor."

Harry nodded along sadly, then asked, "What are the Three Unforgivable curses?" It was another of those awful moments where he definitely knew the answer to that.

James answered, "Cruciatus, Imperius, and Avada Kedavra."

Harry winced especially hard at that last one, though he didn't understand why. The four of them just put it up to his memory returning to him, since most seventh years are taught this towards the end of the year.

"And why are they called that?" He asked, still annoyed he didn't know this himself.

"Ah," Remus said weakly, "because they do really awful things to people. Cruciatus tortures people, sometimes to the brink of losing their minds. Imperius can control a mind, forcing them to do anything the controller wants. Avada Kedavra is the Killing Curse. There's no counter spell, nothing anyone can possibly do. Once you're hit with that, you're dead. If anyone is found guilty of using them, they get a sentence in Azkaban."

Harry nodded, feeling a bit more relieved now that this particular memory was returned, though he had no idea what it's significance was.

"Aw," Lily cooed sadly, "now I really hope they hurry up and fix her."

James couldn't help but smile at his wife. Lily had disliked that cat as much as everyone else at that school, but she was such a good person she was willing to put aside a petty difference for the jerk of the owner. Something that had probably garnered him that first date so many years ago.

"True," Remus winced, "but I am positive Dumbledore won't think that of you."

Harry only looked slightly relieved at his words, enough to go on anyways.

"Okay," James drew the word out past its normal syllables, "so it's definitely not a normal paralysis. Far beyond a second year level anyways" he said smugly to his friends.

Sirius and Remus gave each other loaded looks, before nodding. Sirius said, "I still think he did it, like I said, dark father, dark spells."

"I'm still agreeing," Remus nodded, "that jerk seemed far too unsurprised about what he found. It probably took him ages just to think of his comment."

Harry laughed at Remus, while Lily and James rolled their eyes at the two of them.

"Amulets," Lily rolled her eyes, "he must be joking. No one is stupid enough to believe that."

"Why not?" Harry asked curiously.

Lily continued in much kinder tones, "Anything can be charmed so that it's imbued with protection, but only against small, simple things. Something as awful as curses, there's no way anyone could produce a charmed amulet that strong. Let alone him," she finished in scathing tones again.

Harry smiled at her again.

All five of them chuckled at yet another visual catch from their boy.

"Did he have to take off his shoes and start counting on toes from those fake numbers?" Remus laughed harshly.

"You're really taking him personally aren't you?" James laughed.

"Me? No, I would never," Remus said, not even pretending to hide his sarcasm.

"Petrified," all four of them said. They had noted Harry's use of the word earlier, guess now they knew why he said it like that. However, they hadn't known he meant the term literally, like Dumbledore sure seemed to.

"Okay," Remus and Sirius said together, Sirius continuing "we admit Malfoy probably didn't do that then."

"Which leads back to only a Gorgon," Remus huffed. "Honestly though, I'm still unconvinced anyone could get that thing, or take Mrs. Norris out for that matter, petrify the cat and no one noticed! Not even Dumbledore himself."

"Well he seemed pretty daft about goings on last year," Lily huffed.

The four boys gave her upset looks, still not as convinced as her of Dumbledore's gilt from last year. Still, they continued on in hopes Dumbledore would say more.

"Says the moron prattling along about her death a moment ago," Remus muttered before Sirius could say something.

"Thank Dumbledore for listening," James huffed, getting angry at Filch all over again.

"If the Headmaster listened to Filch every time he tried to get a student thrown out, there wouldn't be anyone left in the school after a month," Sirius laughed.

"Why would I care about that?" Harry asked

"In some circles," Sirius said, "Squibs are more of an offense then muggleborns." He put on a female pitched voice as he continued, "A wizard who can't produce another proper wizard doesn't deserve the bloodline!"

"I have heard some pretty awful stories as a trainee," James agreed, "about wizards who tried to hide away Squibs and-" he shuddered saying, "well, if I tell you later, you'd understand better why we were so upset about the Dursley's making a crack at 'squashing out' your magic."

Harry nodded along sadly, then decided to keep going before any more of the transgressions of the Dursley's could come up.

"Which would mean nothing to someone raised by muggles," Remus pointed out, wincing in pain at his own words, "as Filch would very well know."

All four boys grimaced, knowing anything Snape said couldn't be helpful to Harry.

"Glad to know we're on the same page," Sirius said with pride.

James pretended to faint in shock, flopping against the armrest of the sofa.

Harry was the only one laughing, Remus and Sirius were still to in shock to react, looking like they really might pass out, and Lily simply rolled her eyes at these boys.

"Oh," James said, perking back up again at once, "alright then."

Remus and Sirius finally broke out of their shock long enough to crack up at James' theatrics to even ask why Snape would notice such a thing. Did he really watch Harry at meals just to try and catch him doing something wrong? That should have been ridiculous, but considering all the times Snape seemed to have stalked them intent on finding the same thing, they didn't find it farfetched either.

"The same reason as everyone else apparently!" Sirius snapped.

"Besides how did he even know they weren't there," James huffed, "of all the Gryffindor students at that table, he spotted those three were missing?"

"Agreed, you shouldn't go shouting about it in front of him," Remus snorted in disgust, "but I do hope you tell Dumbledore or at least McGonagall afterwards."

Harry sighed and said, "Can I just say now, I don't think that happens."

"Well," Lily began, "thanks for telling us of that feeling. Hope you won't mind to much if I hope that feeling's wrong."

"Not at all," Harry shrugged, he had still been a young student who was more afraid of being called crazy at the time, but now looking back he admitted he should have said something.

"Here I didn't think Snape could get more annoying," James huffed, "does he have to question you?"

"Guess that's not a bad lie on the spot," Sirius said miserably, knowing Snape wouldn't fall for it anyways.

"You're joking right," James growled, "that cat wasn't knocked out with a bludger! Is he really so upset about the game he's going to kick Harry off for something he didn't do?"

"What a sad, desperate man," Sirius said without any pity.

All four of them cracked up laughing, James going a little red in the face as he spluttered, "I didn't, we-"

"It's close enough mate," Sirius chuckled, "you just mimicked a teacher!"

"Technically, I said it first," he pointed out, without any conviction.

"Hum, Professor Potter, it really does have a nice ring to it," Remus teased, causing James to scowl at him.

"Harry keep reading," James said grumpily, "before I knock their heads together and put some sense back in them."

"Ooh, we're so scared," Sirius cackled.

"I hate that look," James huffed, still annoyed at his friends.

"Punishment for what," Sirius demanded, finally distracted from smirking at James, "who is he supposed to be punishing? Lockhart? He's the only one there who's done anything wrong this year."

"He's just upset," Lily said sadly, "and being a jerk as usual. Let him be, since we know Dumbledore won't really do anything rash."

"So that makes it right to yell at Harry?" James demanded.

"No," Lily snapped, "he's just yelling. It's not even directed at Harry really, just at the world for taking his cat away."

"And you know this how?" Remus laughed at her, "you telling us you were there?"

Lily just sighed and rolled her eyes, there seemed to be no way of getting through to these boys.

Lily nodded, this made perfect sense to her. The Mandrake Restorative should do the trick. She could think of a few others, but without knowing exactly how Mrs. Norris was petrified, that particular potion was the best option.

Harry however looked a combination of upset and disgusted as he asked, "what, they kill those ugly little plant babies?"

Lily was quick to explain, "they're not sentient sweetheart. Not even on an animal level. Their body goes through the stages of human life and then they recycle and start all over again. That's why they're so useful for these types of potions."

Harry nodded in understanding and let the matter go, deciding that if his animal loving mother didn't have a problem with this, if no one seemed to, he may just be overthinking it.

"Please," James yelped, "for the love of Merlin, don't let anyone be so stupid to let him do that! Even Remus would do a better job than that yuk."

"Thanks," Remus snorted at the backwards compliment.

"More like you'd fall asleep trying," Sirius muttered.

Lily smiled with pride. Now there was no way the boys could pick on Sev anymore this year, since he had just volunteered to help a cat he himself didn't like very much. She stored that away for future use, as right now all four of them were muttering in annoyance, but couldn't think of anything bad to say about that.

"Ouch," Sirius winced, "and here I thought Ron had gotten better about compliments."

"Agree with the advice though," James said sadly.

"Gee, thanks dad," Harry muttered with good nature.

"They should," Remus said at once, "I can't imagine why they wouldn't."

"No one's denying that," Lily agreed sadly.

The three boys nodded. It was an old spooky story passed down through bloodlines. You didn't even have to have siblings to hear about it, even a parent would mention it from time to time.

Lily huffed in annoyance saying, "Why's that funny?"

"Let him explain," James said, rolling his eyes, "I've a good idea why he's sniggering like that."

"See," Sirius said proudly, he had been a little ruder than that when he'd first found out. Lily still didn't seem to find it funny, but she didn't seem mad at Ron anymore either, so Harry kept going.

"Like he's ever needed an excuse," James muttered.

"Doubt that," Remus chuckled.

"Now that's odd," Lily said in surprise, "why couldn't it come off? Did any of the teachers try?"

"The message was left up there all year," Harry began with confidence, then he trailed off in agitation as he muttered, "but I-"

His mom cut him off and said, "alright then, guess we'll just wait and see."

Harry nodded, both annoyed at his inability to answer even the simplest questions, and warmed the people around him were trying their hardest not to push him for information.

"Wow," James said in surprise, "here I thought he couldn't get worse."

"Did he get away with it?" Remus asked.

"No," Harry shrugged, "a teacher would always step in and stop him. Even Snape wouldn't allow it, cause I never saw Slytherins getting punished for that either."

"The poor first years," Lily agreed, "that's got to be really creepy to them."

"It's really creepy to me," Sirius said, "and I'm a graduate!"

While James and Sirius chuckled weakly at this, Remus said, "Okay, that's it. Ron's not allowed to try and comfort people anymore."

Harry started laughing with them, while Lily just smiled fondly at her boys. At least Ron was trying.

Harry wasn't able to read this fully without breaking out in a few more spurts of laughter. He did this mostly though, to hide just how uncomfortable this was making him. Clearly he was just upset on Ginny's part...what else could it be?

The boys appreciated Ron's attempt at humour that time, while Lily dearly wanted to point out there was a time and place. That clearly wasn't helping Ginny.

"Any ideas?" Sirius asked.

"It might have something to do with looking up being paralyzed," Remus offered "that's something she might not have come across yet, which would annoy the little brainiac."

"You're starting to sound like Ron," James said, eyes gleaming with humour as he stared at his friend, "that was the most backwards compliment I've heard yet."

"What?" He shrugged, "brainiac isn't an insult. It's a compliment."

"Then I'd like to hear you say it to her face one of these days," Sirius cackled, causing Remus to go red in the face.

Harry was grinning at these three boys, simply enjoying watching them interact how they probably had during their own school days.

"For what reason?" James snapped, good mood almost snipped away just by the mention of his name.

"His excuse was 'so you can learn another way tubeworms aren't used.'" He snorted in annoyance at him, "Apparently my potion was 'destroyed' because of the way I did it."

"Jerk," Sirius huffed.

Lily was dearly tempted to argue back, but she floundered for an actual reason Severus would have done this other than to just be a jerk. Harry was already reading on.

"Well that was rude," Remus said.

"I was going to say odd," James disagreed.

"What, did you still smell like tubeworms?" Sirius asked innocently.

"I don't think so," Harry muttered, wondering why he suddenly had a feeling of trepidation at Justin's name. Let alone that reaction to him.

"Poor kid," Sirius said in sympathy.

"That's why I always made my writing as large as possible," James agreed.

All five of them snickered a bit at this. Unsurprising though, it was more than obvious Hermione was an overachiever.

"Well she's got a good start because of last year," Harry laughed, "we went through dozens of books looking for Flamel."

"Can't argue with Ron there," James agreed.

"Well, Justin hadn't been to any of his classes at that point," Lily pointed out, "I'm sure by now the whole of the students know better."

"Like Hermione?" Remus disagreed.

Lily pursed her lips, but kept silent at that.

"Doesn't she own a copy?" Sirius asked in surprise, remembering her random mentions of the book last year.

"Wait for it," Harry said, before continuing.

"Yet another reason to hate that idiot," Sirius rolled his eyes.

"Well, there's our proof that Hermione doesn't actually have a photographic memory," James snickered, "I thought she had memorized that book."

"Does Hogwarts, a History even mention the Chamber of Secrets?" Remus asked.

"It only says that there are secrets that the founders created," Lily said, "some that may never be discovered. It was such a vague thing, I never put much stock into it."

"Well then, once the populace realizes Hogwarts, a History has no mention of it, Hermione should get her turn pretty quickly," James said.

"Don't need to hear that argument," Remus sighed in remembrance, "I've lived it."

James and Sirius didn't even looked abashed.

"Did you guys start that rumour to?" Lily asked.

"Nah," James chuckled, "that was started long before we got there."

"Wonder if he'll even notice?" Sirius laughed, "he doesn't even look up."

"So even Hermione's never interrupted to ask a question," Remus asked.

"Nope," Harry shrugged.

"Then why did she this time?" Lily asked.

Harry gave her an odd look, and she blushed when she realized Harry didn't know any better than she did.

"I'm impressed you even know what he's talking about," James gasped.

"Probably the only teacher ever who didn't know her name," Lily giggled.

All five of them looked startled. No one had ever interrupted Binns, let alone with a question like that. Eager to hear what this teacher had to say, even in his vacuum voice, Harry read.

Lily huffed and said, "Well that's ridiculous. All facts have a start as myth or legend. Just because someone didn't write it down, doesn't make it not true."

"No wonder Binns is so boring," Remus rolled his eyes, "he's got a boring mind set."

"She just said her name," James rolled his eyes.

Lily beamed with pride as she said, "Now there's someone I don't mind mimicking."

"It is still better then Professor Potter," Sirius agreed, while James through him a nasty look all over again.

"Nope," James agreed, "as far as we know anyways."

"That's sad," Remus sighed, "I'm sure if the student's showed more interest, this could be a good class. But for that to happen, the teacher would have to actually be interesting."

Sirius huffed in disgust. He'd heard this story before, his mother had given it to him the night before he went to Hogwarts, to showcase how legendary Salazar Slytherin had been.

Lily noticed and reproached him by pointing out, "to be fair, you have to see the timeline they were in. This was back when we were so feared and persecuted, we cut ourselves off from muggles for good. He was afraid for the young students."

"You do realize you just argued that students like you shouldn't have come," Remus pointed out.

Lily rolled her eyes at him and said, "I didn't say it was right, I'm just saying it won't kill him to see it from another perspective."

"Actually," Lily butted in, "all four of them supposedly did something special to the school. Slytherin's was just a bit more, ah, wrong."

"Yeah," James agreed with a straight face, "that's putting it nicely."

"Got any ideas what the other three are?" Remus asked, lips twitching, which was a clear indication he already knew the answer.

"Let's see if Harry comes across them on his own, like he did this one," Lily said quickly, tactfully avoiding the question, without giving away her answer.

"Well that doesn't sound very good," Lily said with surprise, never hearing that part of the story, not really thinking much when one of the boys mentioned the monster earlier.

"Really," Sirius laughed, "they're still hanging on your every word, and the only reactions we've heard about, is how annoyed he feels about it."

"Not a good method of teaching," Remus agreed.

"I don't know," James said, raising a brow, "just cause no one can find it doesn't make it not true."

Remus' brows shot into his hairline, and he began to wonder on something...

Harry had to stop for a moment just so he didn't burst out snapping that was a lie. He huffed in annoyance to himself, clearly he knew something this teacher didn't, but he had no idea why! He didn't want to upset his family either though, so he waited until he found out more through the year.

"That's what we finally decided," James agreed sadly, "which is why we had to eventually give up the search."

"That wasn't even close," Sirius chuckled.

"I swear, is he getting their names wrong on purpose now?" Lily rolled her eyes.

"Since this is most likely the first time he's ever actually addressed a class, I'm impressed he's even trying," James chuckled.

"Snappy," Remus said in surprise, "now I regret never having tried anything like this in his class."

"And here I thought you were the good one," Lily rolled her eyes.

"Nah," Sirius laughed, "he was just the quiet one. Made him seem less likely to pull something, which gave us quite the advantage."

"That was probably the most interesting History of Magic class; ever!" James laughed.

Lily sighed in disappointment, there were times she had dearly wished she had been sorted into Slytherin. She hated it when someone else put the house down like that. She was also refraining from pointing out that Slytherin himself would have been thinking something like this back when Muggles couldn't be trusted not to burn a wizard at the stake, so his suspicions weren't even considered that wrong at the time.

It was a testament to how they had aged that none of the boys in the room commented on this, whether in agreement or not.

"Not as seriously as I could have," Sirius said loudly, hating to see how upset Harry was clearly starting to look at the reminder.

Harry gave him a brief smile, he clearly still found the joke funny even if everyone else in the room groaned.

"I doubt they'd care," Sirius tried again, and chuckled, "since all of my friends on the train fully expected me to be in Slytherin before I even made it to the hat."

"You were a less likable jerk until you were in my house," James teased.

"I got sorted before you," Sirius reminded, "how did you know you weren't going to be in Slytherin?"

"Cause I know these things," James said, puffing out his chest.

Lily rolled her eyes indulgently at them.

"You know, I think Merlin was in Slytherin," Remus chuckled, "so even though, Harry, I know you don't need any more convincing. Your mom does that well enough, there you go. Best wizard who ever existed, Slytherin House."

Lily beamed at him, while James and Sirius rolled their eyes, James saying, "Honestly Moony, how many times are you going to spout out facts like that?"

"I like them," Harry smiled, "that's definitely something I've never heard before."

"Well that settles it," Sirius grinned, "fact away Remus!"

Remus just rolled his eyes at the pair of them.

"You're what?" Lily asked in confusion.

"The heir of Slytherin probably," Harry said miserably as he thought back to the way Justin had reacted.

James snorted in disbelief saying, "Oh please. You're as much related to him as Ron is. All purebloods are distantly related, which means that anyone in that castle who has a drop of the Old Blood could be suspect."

"Yeah," Harry muttered, his good mood from before gone in a flash at Colin's reminder, "but none of them are the famous Harry Potter, so the school won't even think about that."

"Well, that's why you ignore the school, and focus on your friends," Sirius said in a forced bright voice, having quite a bit of practice at this himself.

All five of them nodded, in full agreement with Hermione's logic.

Lily sighed miserably. It didn't seem too dangerous, since Filch had been hanging around there and nothing had happened to him yet, but, "why on earth did you feel the need to poke around!"

"Come off it," James snorted, "for the same reason they were determined to find Flamel last year. They're curious. Can't knock that, until it gets dangerous."

Harry smiled at his dad, while his mom rolled her eyes again.

"What's the significance of scorch marks?" Sirius asked, "that could have been caused by any student, at any time, before or after the attack! Do you know how many times a day someone set something on fire in that castle!"

"I'm sure you know," Lily chuckled.

"It was just something to do with the scene," Harry shrugged.

Remus went cross-eyed at yet another clue. He crossed a few more things off his list of what he thought this 'monster' might be.

"Wow, Ron doesn't like spiders," James said in surprise.

"Must make potions for him really difficult," Lily said.

"Oh," Lily said, shrugging.

"Well then, here's hoping Ron never goes too deep into the forest," Sirius said, "or he'll be in for a nasty surprise."

Harry blanched slightly, that felt ominous to him. The others noticed, and didn't like that reaction one bit. However, when Harry didn't offer up the information, no one decided to pressure him about it.

"Aw," Remus said sadly, "that's not something that's funny."

Lily shrugged, she'd had the urge to giggle herself, but she'd held it back.

"Ouch," James winced, "yeah, that would give anyone arachnophobia."

"Poor kid," Sirius said again in sympathy, "I once set Regulus' stuffed dragon on fire. Appreciated the irony when I grew up anyways."

"Once when I was little," Lily said darkly, "Petunia got a new dress for her birthday. I was jealous because I wanted one too, but my mom told me I had to wait for my own birthday. The dress changed to this ugly color, and it smelled something awful which never came out. Of course, I don't regret that anymore..." she trailed off miserably, suddenly wondering if her sister's hatred of magic wasn't so unfounded with a few more of these instances coming to mind.

"Ah sibling love," Remus said weakly before waving Harry on.

"Oh wow, that explains it," Lily said in surprise.

"What?" The boys all asked.

"That's Moaning Myrtle's bathroom."

"Huh?" Harry muttered, wondering why this felt significant to him.

The others boys just laughed, Sirius saying, "well, guess she still enjoys flooding her bathroom then?"

"You mean you went in?" Remus asked in surprise.

"Geez, even we never bothered to go in a girl's bathroom," James chuckled.

"Then how did you know about Myrtle?" Lily asked, "I thought she never left her toilet."

"She was at Nick's deathday party," Remus pointed out.

"That was a special occasion," Lily disagreed.

Before they could keep arguing like this, Sirius answered her question, "Myrtle hangs around in a lot of the bathrooms. Found her snooping on a guy's bathroom once, and we got to talking."

Lily and Harry both went bug eyed at this realization, Harry sputtering, "which one!"

While Lily said, "She did what?"

"Oh yeah," James nodded, "she did it all the time apparently."

"That's disgusting," Lily balked.

Harry dearly looked like he regretted ever using the bathroom at school ever, then wondered why he wasn't more shocked by this bit of information? Had he ever run into Myrtle in another bathroom? Shrugging, he decided to keep reading, knowing it was no good complaining about a ghost's creepy habits.

"Creepy," James muttered.

"Geez, no one keeps that place kept up," Sirius laughed.

"Well, since no one ever goes in there, I guess no one bothers," Lily shrugged.

"Plus, seeing as Myrtle did die in that bathroom, I imagine not many people want to go in there. It's the principle," Remus shrugged.

Harry looked at Remus oddly, wondering why on earth that felt important to him...

"How did you know she died in there?" Lily asked skeptically.

"She told us she died in the bathroom she stays in," Sirius shrugged, "so what?"

Lily found that slightly disturbing, but Harry was beginning to feel sick again. Something about what they were saying felt really important to him, and his mind was already starting to swell with information it wanted to give him. So he instead decided to keep reading, rather than let that happen.

Sirius gave a slow, sarcastic clap at this brilliant deduction, until Remus smacked him to get him to stop.

"Good show," Lily snickered.

"Not a good idea," Remus said at once, "if you don't say anything to her out loud, she'll get all paranoid on you."

Smiling slightly, Harry read.

James opened his mouth like he was going to make a sarcastic comment about that, but Lily reached behind Harry and smacked him before he could.

"Well he wasn't wrong," James said quickly, cringing when Lily looked like she was going to smack him again. The girl was dead, no need for these boys to be poking fun at her, even if Myrtle thought they were doing it anyways.

"Dang, who would yell at Ron like that?" Sirius asked, having jumped slightly at Harry's yelling.

"Ah," Remus acknowledged, "of course it would be his older brother who would yell at him like that."

"Probably where he got it from," James agreed.

"He's got a point," Lily grimaced, not having thought of that.

"He's just being paranoid," Remus disagreed, "I'm sure loads of students have done the same thing. It was just their misfortune to get caught."

"That's not fair," Lily said hotly, "I'm sure he cares about his baby sister as much as Ron does."

"Ron's just angry," James pacified, "lashing out and all. I'm sure Ron doesn't really mean it."

"Worst thing you could threaten a sibling with," Sirius laughed.

"Must be a Weasley thing," Remus chuckled.

"She'd probably been thinking about it while doing her Charm's work," Lily said.

"You're saying she doesn't even need to concentrate on the homework, and she's still top in her class?" James asked.

Lily shrugged, knowing first hand she could both do Charm's work and think of something else.

"Don't blame him at all," Remus shrugged.

"That's what she's skeptical about?" Sirius laughed.

"No," James sighed, "otherwise this would be a more frequent thing. Yet there's never been a petrified cat before."

"What is she planning," Lily asked in disbelief.

"Something that sounds like a load of fun," Sirius grinned.

The three boys looked puzzled for a moment, before James said, "I give the idea merits, but not that scenario in particular. A small dose of truth serum, or he's just dumb enough you might could trick the information you think you need out of him..."

"I still don't get how she plans on doing what she said," Lily said in surprise. A few ideas came to her own mind, but they were seventh year levels. After all, they didn't teach wizards how to disguise their appearances lightly.

Harry brightened as he finally remembered what had been bothering him this whole conversation, then blinked in shock when his mom burst out laughing.

"Why's that funny?" Sirius asked, "She's not wrong."

"No," Lily chuckled, "but it is ridiculous. That's a sixth year potion! She's a second year! Hermione's advanced, I'll not deny that, but to be able to pull something like that off! No, I'm sorry, it's just funny..." and she trailed off weakly at the look on Harry's face.

The other boys gave Harry looks of disbelief as well, as Remus asked, "It is ridiculous, right?"

"Hum," he muttered, thinking for a few moments before shrugging and saying, "I wouldn't put it past her."

Lily still didn't look convinced, while the other boys were privately thinking that if Hermione could pull this off, she shouldn't even be in school! She could probably pass an exam and get herself out already!

Harry finally asked, "well, what does it do?"

"It's a potion that can change your physical appearance to match someone else's exactly for an hour," Lily promptly explained.

Harry nodded, now knowing this must have been exactly what they did, since this information didn't feel new to him at all.

Sirius and James cracked grins at each other, that was a very memorable sentence to their feelings about Potions as well.

"Anything is stretching it," Remus said, "I doubt, even if he was the one doing this, he'd be boasting about it. Then another student could go and report him."

"I doubt the reporting part," Sirius disagreed, "without proof, no student would go and rat out another student like that."

"Whelp, Hermione disagrees with you Remus," James said cheerfully, "so now Sirius and I need to have a debate about which of you we think is smarter."

Remus looked like he was fixing to make a very sarcastic comment back, but Harry interrupted, "While I'd like to hear that, can I finish this chapter? It's only got a bit left."

Lily snickered as Harry easily broke up a squabble between these three with ease. They all backed down at once so he could keep going.

"Why would he tell them the book it was in?" James asked, "If they're only second years, why was he mentioning it at all?"

"Don't know," Harry shrugged, "we weren't paying attention remember, and I never asked."

"Just tell McGonagall you want to look into some advanced work," James said, smiling back at an old memory, "then copy the book. Worked for us all the time."

Lily dearly wanted to ask when and why they needed a book out of the restricted section, but she was honestly afraid of the answer.

"This being a Potion's book, I don't see that working as well as a Transfiguration book," Remus disagreed with both Hermione and his friend.

"Well, doesn't hurt to try," James shrugged, then laughed and said, "It's better than Harry's idea of sneaking in anyways. Don't want any more screaming books now."

"Agreed," Harry muttered, rubbing his ears in remembered pain.

"Chapter's over," Harry said, passing the book to Remus.


	10. THE ROGUE BLUDGER

Remus was happy to read the next chapter, wanting dearly to see if Hermione could pull off such an advanced potion, and ignoring Sirius and James protest as they complained they still didn't get to have their 'Smarts Debate.' Honestly, Hermione would win that easily anyways.

"Thank Merlin," Remus huffed, "or something far worse could happen."

"So basically torture sessions, of unrealistic proportions," James summarized.

"Why?" All five of them groaned.

"Dumb, dumber, and dumbest," Sirius huffed, the more he heard about this guy the more annoying it got!

"Did you at least do the thing properly," James asked, while grinning over at Remus who refused to look up, "you know, spout random facts, be a horrible liar-"

"Have a really bad habit for turning red in the face," Sirius added on.

"Knock it off," Remus snapped, still without looking up. Harry and Lily could see why, since the little of his face they could see had long since turned bright red at his friends teasing. Remus knew he would never understand why his friends joked about something like this, it was a serious problem that shouldn't be taken lightly, but he had never stopped them with any real force either. Their joking simply meant they liked him enough to mess with him, something he had never thought possible in his younger years.

Still chuckling at their antics, Harry corrected them, "No, I had 'turned' into an actual werewolf at the time, fur and fangs and stuff."

Remus gave Harry a puzzled look and then read on a bit curiously.

"Did you try refusing to do it the other three times?" Lily asked.

"Yes," Harry muttered, it hadn't worked any of those times though because then Lockhart had launched into a detailed account, reading word for word. Harry had decided to do it simply to make the man shut up. At least playing those dumb roles had made the process go by quicker.

"Actually, I don't believe that," James said, quirking a brow. Had this man ever even seen a fully grown werewolf? They weren't the kind of thing you could 'slam' into the ground without getting your head bit off.

"Definitely don't believe that," Sirius cackled.

"What good would that do?" James asked, "That's a charm used to restore Transfigured objects back to their original form. It's most common use is on Animagus' when they get stuck for some reason. It wouldn't work on a werewolf though."

"Why do you know that?" Lily asked, noting his 'most common use' mostly.

"We had to learn it," Sirius shrugged, "for all the times we screwed up our Animagus practice. Came in handy a few times afterwards as well."

"And people believed that," Lily scoffed in disgust. "If it was that easy, werewolves wouldn't even be classified as dangerous. They'd be a class three!"

Harry looked puzzled, not understanding the classification thing, but then Remus said bitterly, "I wish it was that easy," and then kept reading before anyone could comment.

"Really, I want to know how his books are sold without being found in the fictional section," James demanded. "People can't really believe he did that!"

Harry shrugged, he had no answer for that, but he certainly didn't believe it.

"Wait, he actually slammed you to the ground!" Remus asked, not having interpreted that from his prattling.

Harry nodded, saying, "more like he pushed me, then we waved his wand in my face a lot, but he didn't let the 'crowd' lose full sight of him, he stayed on his knees in front of the desk. I fell back behind the desk, happily out of the way. Only time I can remember not being afraid of someone's wand in my face." He finished grinning wickedly.

All five of them looked disgusted that this was even counted as a homework assignment, let alone the horrid prize.

"Oh," James said, "so when Ron said the teacher would have to be really thick, he meant literally."

"Here I thought they were going to try and pull one over on McGonagall," Sirius sounded as surprised as his friend, "now all they have to do is just walk up to him, give him a cheap compliment, and they'll be done with it."

"I'm kind of disappointed," Remus sighed, "I wanted to see them pull something on McGonagall to."

"That was the most useful thing Lockhart did all year," Harry laughed.

Lily sighed in both disappointment and disgust, saying, "really? She's still star struck?"

"This is the girl that's about to do a sixth year potion?" James asked in disbelief.

Harry shrugged, he had no defense for his friend since he and Ron had seen him as a fraud on the first day.

"What on earth?" Remus spluttered in disbelief.

"Doesn't Ron have a ghoul in his attic?" James asked, "I think I'd like to borrow that."

"It might not be there yet," Lily reminded them, not necessarily knocking the idea.

"I'd really like to hear that full story," Sirius said eagerly, "if the wizard populace fell for that, maybe I could use it next time I go to the Leaky Cauldron."

Remus snorted in disgust, not doubting his friend would do this one bit.

"If it's anything like your look," James said to Harry, "then he's even dafter than I thought, and that's saying something."

Harry broke out of his shock at the remembered peacock quill and chuckled at his dad.

"Oh come on!" James and Sirius groaned, not believing for one second that match would get pushed off for two or even three more chapters!

"My Quidditch match was awful," James groaned, "I want another go at reading."

"I haven't gotten one at all," Sirius muttered, sulking.

"How do you keep getting the good chapters!" James demanded.

"Just lucky I guess," he grinned.

"Was he really?" Harry asked in disbelief, not believing much of anything from him anymore.

"If he was," Sirius shrugged, "it wasn't while we were there."

"He'd be ah, a fifth year I think," James said, "so if we just so happened to pop by, we could find out."

"Still doubt that," James scoffed.

"By entertaining them on their long dreary travels with my absurd stories," Remus kept going as if reading that.

Sirius choked and snatched the book away, then smacked his friend with it saying, "Jerk, don't give me false hope that man grew a brain."

Remus took it back, grinning like a fool before really reading.

"Less able my arse!" James howled, "Harry could go and play for England now if he damn well pleased."

"Really James," Lily huffed, "I'm not disagreeing with you, Harry is good, but don't encourage him to drop out of school."

James scowl didn't lessen one bit.

"Prat," all five of them muttered.

"First time Hermione's ever been wrong I think," Lily said sadly.

"I am forever turning to you whenever I want to describe someone," Sirius cackled.

Lily face palmed, muttering something in disgust under her breath.

The boys simply looked more annoyed by Hermione.

"I believe that," James nodded.

"She can," Remus sighed, "I knew a Ravenclaw who mirror imaged Flitwick's signature once, and when Pince did that, she saw it somehow. Kid had detention for a week straight."

"I wonder if that's some kind of magical ability, or..." Lily trailed off, now looking like she wanted to go up there and ask herself.

"Well, we're planning a trip up to the school, you can ask her then," James said.

"Wow, even she doesn't know where every bloody book is in there. Either that, or she had to go all the way in the back," James laughed.

"You gotten any better at that?" Remus asked, "because the last time you tried that, Snape took away a book."

Harry shrugged and said, "well, no one took that book away, we made it all the way to Myrtle's bathroom anyways."

"Why do potions like that exist?" Harry asked in disgust.

"The one about being turned inside out doesn't have a practical use," Lily shrugged, "it's a threat potion more than anything, sometimes given as punishment for a short period of time."

"The ministry is barmy," Sirius muttered, but Lily was ignoring him, and continuing, "the other about the extra limbs sounds like a transformation potion, though since you didn't say the name of it I can only guess at what she could have been turning into."

Harry nodded, slightly agreeing with Sirius.

"Pleasant," Remus shuddered, knowing very well how painful transforming could be.

"Nope," Lily said, "it is not a pleasant process at all."

Harry didn't look very pleased about this.

"Well duh," James laughed, "it's a sixth year potion!"

"I hadn't thought of that," Lily agreed, having mostly thought of the act, "where did she plan on getting the ingredients."

"I don't think you're going to like the answer," Harry said nervously, he only had a feeling after all, but it wasn't a good one.

"Err, what did she mean?" Harry asked.

"It doesn't have to be toenails," Lily said quickly, as Harry looked a little queasy at the thought, "hair is most commonly used, but any bit of them like that will do."

Harry still looked a little green, but nodded all the same.

All four adults spluttered in disbelief, though the boys for a completely different reason then Lily.

"That's brilliant!" Sirius cackled, James and Remus nodding right along. It was high time that slimeball knew what it felt like to get his stuff taken. Hell they wouldn't be surprised if Snape hadn't stolen from Slughorn to make some of his potions in school.

Lily on the other hand practically screeched, "You're going to steal from a teacher!"

"Mum-" Harry began, but Lily cut him off saying, "No. Last year you bent the rules around a few times, and nearly got killed. Now, you are breaking them in half, and for what? Because you think that Malfoy did it? Even if he was, and he blabs it to your face, what would you do? Go to Dumbledore without proof? Harry no, this is one thing I will not approve of. That's even assuming a second year can make the Polyjuice Potion correctly, without the lot of you being poisoned or, or worse or..." she stuttered off as she realized Harry was looking beseechingly at her, and the other boys were giving her pitting looks.

Lily sighed deeply, took several deep breaths then continued in far calmer tones, "I'm sorry."

Harry smiled at once, clearly holding no grudge. Lily continued, "It's just, I hate that you feel you have to do all of these things. I wish you had someone there who would tell you these things. I wish..." she trailed off, then put another stern look on her face and finished, "but I did mean it. I disapprove. I do acknowledge though that these are things that have already happened, so I promise I won't yell again." Then she paused, hesitated for a moment, and added, "about this particular thing."

Causing all of her boys to burst out laughing, James saying, "I love your fiery temper." She smiled weakly at them, before waving Remus on. He had to get his breath back a bit, but did indeed still read

"Ooh," Sirius said, going a little wide eyed, "Hermione daring the other's into doing this."

"It was her idea in the first place," Remus reminded him.

"What's gotten into her this year?" James asked, bemused.

"She's a muggle-born," Lily said in exasperation, "of course she'd be the most worried about this."

All four boys turned to her in shock, then blushed slightly. They hadn't forgotten exactly, but Hermione was just so smart it was a little easy to forget.

"Not going to answer that Lily," James asked.

"No," Lily said, "I want to see if Hermione knows first. It'll make me feel better."

Lily nodded, looking a might bit better. Had Hermione tried to rush the potion by any shorter amount of time, she would have been even more worried.

"Ron's gotten much better at that," Sirius chuckled.

"It's normal to be nervous before any game," James said bracingly, he still had no doubt in his mind Harry and his team would do brilliantly.

"Chipper as always," Remus laughed lightly.

"Excellent sentiment though," Sirius beamed.

All five of them laughed at that.

"Ouch," Remus winced, "does he pressure you before every match?"

"Seems like," Harry shrugged, "but I don't mind."

'Which he should have anyways' James thought, knowing that wasn't anything of use, but he still wanted to be there for Harry in some way more than a vault.

Lily sighed in trepidation, that didn't make her feel any better. She also dearly wanted to comment that this boy took a game far too serious, but didn't want to elicit a joke from Sirius, or even get snapped at for saying this.

She had no idea the boys might have agreed with her in that moment.

The three boys looked very excited to hear this. They felt like it had been ages since they got to hear about a good game, which didn't involve worrying about Harry dying in the middle of the match.

Lily still looked wary, Harry's track record in this game hadn't been that good, but she was willing to relax and hear about this.

Harry was the only one looking on edge. They put this down to the pressure he must be feeling, not knowing why Harry would be rubbing his right arm for some reason.

"Scarhead," Sirius snorted, "I didn't think his insults could actually get worse."

"Most likely," Remus grumbled.

Lily shivered in disgust, hating that mental image.

Remus voice grew very confused at the end of that.

"What?" Sirius asked, sure he had heard wrong.

"Err," James began, but he couldn't think of anything to say really.

"I've got a bad feeling about this," Harry sighed, rubbing his right arm in remembrance.

Lily went a little bug eyed, but Remus now read on quickly, knowing by now Harry's bad feelings were usually not wrong.

"One game!" James cried in fury. "I want one bloody Quidditch game that doesn't make me hate the whole bloody sport!"

"Why. Are. You. Being. Chased. By. A. Bludger." Sirius said slowly and distinctly, like he was trying to stop himself from yelling like James.

"I, I've no idea," Harry said miserably, very much wondering the same thing.

Lily put her face in her hands, wanting dearly to cover her ears as well so she didn't have to hear this.

Remus said, "Okay, I officially hate getting Quidditch chapters. Next time Sirius, I'm just going to give it to you anyways."

Sirius didn't look any kind of happy as his friend began in a wobbling voice, the horrid mental image of Sirius being bludgeoned the most prominent thing in his mind.

"Thank Merlin for the twins," Sirius sighed, "they seemed to have noticed the problem already."

"Had enough practice," James muttered darkly.

"Who could tamper with a thing like that?" Lily moaned, her face still in her hands. "I know those are very powerfully charmed. It would take some real magic to pull this stunt off!"

"Thinking it was Lockhart?" Remus asked weakly, "Are we still wondering if he's faking it? I kind of gave up on that after the 'werewolf' incident."

"No, he's still an idiot in my book until proven otherwise," Sirius sighed miserably, "and there's no way Malfoy, or any student for that matter, could be powerful enough to do this."

Stumped and with no leads who could do this, Remus forced himself to continue.

"You didn't put a Repelling charm on them?" James asked distractedly. "That's like the only charm any player's allowed to use, exclusive to the face only of course. Otherwise the rain will blind you."

"No," Harry said, no one had shown him how to do that, perhaps Wood thought he knew how to anyways.

"Well that's just peachy!" Sirius groaned, not even having wondered about the game anymore now that Harry was in real danger of getting hurt. Again!

"I don't care," Lily yelped, "you're much safer being surrounded by them!"

The boys nodded in firm agreement, Remus asking, "why hasn't anyone called a timeout yet? Clearly something's wrong."

Harry sighed in defeat, knowing full well no one called this particular game off.

"Then why wasn't the game canceled," Lily ground out in frustration.

"Because Quidditch isn't canceled, not for anything," James sighed, for once in his life wishing the opposite.

"But it's obvious something's wrong-" Lily still tried, but was cut off by Sirius reminding:

"Same was true of Harry's first game and that broom, and no one called it off then, even if they'd been given the chance. Quidditch just isn't cancelled Lily."

She sighed in disappointment, but stopped arguing the point in favor of hearing how Harry survived this.

"Props for multitasking," Harry laughed, but he was the only one who did.

"Did it follow you onto the ground?" James asked.

"No," Harry said, "but it circled around me, like some bird in the air."

All four of them shivered, hating that mental image, and still unable to come up with a person who could do this.

"That's what he's concerned about!" James yelped.

"I'm really starting to dislike this kid," Sirius growled.

"He didn't notice," Harry said quickly, not liking that mean look that was flickering across their faces.

"Saving my son's life," Lily hissed, only slightly forgiving the comment because of what Harry said.

"Did anyone else notice?" Remus asked.

"Not really," Harry sighed, "I think they noticed a bit more after this time out, but no one stops this game."

All of them looked beyond angry.

"Really!" Sirius yelped, "That's your plan! At least let them pretend to do their job!"

Harry shook his head furiously saying, "No, I could handle it. I did handle it! Mostly," he finished lamely at their astounded looks.

"Harry," James said weakly, "a game isn't worth your head being knocked off."

"I know-" Harry tried to butt in, but Lily interrupted first, "If you do, then why are you so insistent about this?"

"I don't want our team to lose another match." Harry said furiously. "I didn't get a chance at the tournament last year, and if we called a time off it would be over for us again! I handled this just fine and," he sucked in a deep breath as he said with confidence, "I won us the match." Finishing with a horrible wince of pain for having dared to tempt his memories.

The four of them exchanged unhappy looks, but finally admitted there was nothing for it. If he said he could handle it, who were they to argue?

"Least it would be impressive if you pulled off a Plumpton Pass," Sirius muttered without any real emphasis. All of them knew they weren't going to be happy until this nightmare of a game was over.

Remus winced as he read that, not liking that mental image repeated.

Sirius pursed his lips, dearly wishing to agree, but knowing it might offend Harry. If the determined look on his face was any indication, he made a good call.

James muttered mutinously, knowing full well as team captain himself once, he would never have made that call!

"I do not see how this is funny!" Lily snapped in disgust.

"At least you're dodging, who cares how it looks," Sirius muttered.

All four of them shuddered in disgust again, knowing that wasn't going to get any better no matter how many times it was said.

Sirius was far too keyed up to make a comment on that lame joke.

James smiled meanly, feeling a slight bit better at this jerk who was more than likely going to get his comeuppance, and a face full of Bludger if Harry went for it.

"So we were right," James said, trying vainly to change the subject to happier topics, "he's a rubbish player."

"I'll bet Harry never loses a match against him," Sirius agreed.

Remus choked, bug eyed as he spat that out.

Harry was rubbing his right arm in remembered pain and said, "It hurt, I'm not going to say it didn't, but it's just a break. Nothing worse than that."

They nodded, taking a deep breath Remus kept going.

'I don't think I want Harry on the Quidditch team anymore' Lily thought sadly, though decided to keep that to herself since she thought the boys might get mad at her.

Actually, the other three boys did agree. Harry didn't seem able to go a single game without something life threatening happening, it made him too easy of a target apparently.

"It didn't hit," Harry reassured at once, when they all looked ashen.

"Credit for determination anyways," James sighed.

"Not a bad idea," Sirius nodded, using this as a distraction from the idea of Harry's arm dangling useless at his side.

Remus stopped here to shake his head in wonder at his cub. "You can now tell people you can catch a Snitch with one arm tied behind your back," he told him.

Sirius smacked him, hard.

"Ouch, what! You two can makes jokes, but I can't!"

"No," Sirius shrugged, "I just really wanted a reason to smack you back for all the times you've done it to me. Taking away my joke was just a good excuse."

Lily smiled indulgently at them, almost envious of their ability to joke around while being equally as worried. Everyone coped in their own way she supposed.

"How did that work out for you?" Lily asked uneasily.

"I think I lost conscious for a few seconds," Harry shrugged, "I wake back up and it's still raining on me anyways."

Lily nodded, slightly content with that.

"I'm going to laugh if that was all just a dream," James chuckled, his son never ceased to amuse him.

"He's had some vivid dreams before," Sirius agreed.

"Hopefully he'll wake up with a teacher over him, waiting to heal his arm," Lily grumbled, still unpleased with the whole scenario even if her son came away perfectly fine.

"Oh no," Remus groaned, planting his forehead against the book in genuine pain at what could possibly happen next.

"I didn't mean him!" Lily yelped, "I meant McGonagall!"

"Next time when you're hoping for something, be name specific," James grumbled.

"He knows exactly what he's saying," Sirius growled.

"You never seem to though," Remus huffed.

Sirius gave him a confused look, unsure if his friend was making a joke at him or Lockhart, but Remus wasn't going to answer.

"No!" All five of them yelped in real fear.

"That moron can't handle a pixie, I don't want to even think what would happen if he tried that!" Lily hissed.

"With any luck, a puff of smoke will escape," Sirius said, "then he'll make up some lame excuse, and prattle Harry's ear off up to the Hospital wing."

Harry was still rubbing his arm in remembrance, he had a bad feeling about this. He knew one thing, his arm stopped hurting after Lockhart's spell. It wasn't for a good reason though.

The three boys chuckled weakly.

"Why would you take a photo of that," Lily asked in disgust.

"Kid's going to make a great photographer one of these days," Remus smiled, "he's certainly not squeamish."

"That wasn't my point," Harry huffed.

"Because he's a pompous, big headed, arrogant-" Sirius began, while Lily finally cut him off saying:

"Sirius, I'm sure you can keep going for a year, but I want to hear this."

"I really hate agreeing with him," James grumbled, thinking Wood was too happy for the circumstances. You could be happy about winning after all of your players were healed up!

"Whoever cursed that thing, I'm going to curse them into oblivion," James vowed.

Harry wondered why his automatic reaction was to correct his Dad. Why would he want to defend whoever did this?

"Jeez, wonder which team he was supporting," Sirius said vaguely.

"That's not the feeling you should have," Lily said, real fear creeping into her as she wondered what this inept idiot had done to her son.

"Wish it had said the spell he tried," Remus muttered, "because I'd like to use it on him."

"He said Brackium Emendo," Harry offered brightly, knowing full well Lockhart deserved whatever his family was thinking up, though still having an issue with remembering why.

"That's, actually a real spell," Lily said in surprise.

"So why isn't the feeling he's having the right one," James said uneasily.

Lily bit her lip before waving Remus on, trying to figure that out herself

"Well," Lily began again, thinking out loud now, "I know that if you don't have enough magical ability to perform a spell properly it often does the opposite effect. That's why you don't walk in trying to do seventh year spells," Lily explained that part for Harry's benefit, "so if this dolt hasn't built up enough of an ability to perform this spell correctly..." she trailed off, puzzling, "what would be the opposite of mending broken bones?"

"I don't want to find out," James sighed as Remus read on, now a little curious himself, and having an abundance of faith Madame Pomfrey could fix it if, most likely, Lockhart simply broke the bone further. Then of course, he'd just have to hurt Lockhart all the more for prolonging Harry's pain.

"That can't be a good sign," Sirius muttered.

Lily perked up in surprise, perhaps Harry just had a unique reaction to the spell?

"Not a good sign at all," James agreed.

"Tidy him up?" Remus asked, "What does that even mean?"

"Fix his screw up," Harry muttered.

"You remember what happened?" James asked quickly.

"No," Harry sighed, knowing he wasn't going to be able to hold the memory until the book said it, "but I know it wasn't good."

"Did he remove your arm or something!" Lily yelped.

Harry opened and closed his mouth several times, but now that he seemed to actually remember what he saw, he didn't seem able to spit it out.

Remus read quickly now.

There was a muscle twitching in Sirius' jaw as he finally realized what had happened.

Remus looked like he really was going to pass out.

James and Lily refused to react until Remus flat out read.

"He's dead," James vowed. "He is officially a dead man. He-" he spluttered out, most likely to outraged to finish his sentence.

"What I find most interesting," Remus said threw gritted teeth, "is how he managed to switch those spells! You're supposed to stop making those kinds of mistakes at fourth year, at the latest!"

"What spell did he actually use?" Harry asked.

"It's called Ossio Dispersimus," James said, "only used in the most severe crisis, when the bones can't be mended for some reason or another, and you have to temporarily take them out."

"So they will grow back," Harry said eagerly, his family didn't seem that concerned about this.

"Oh yes," Lily said at once, "take a bit of Skele-Gro, and your bones will come right back."

Harry nodded, then still deciding he was curious, asked, "How would you switch spells like that?"

"It's a rookie mistake," James snorted, "but something that can happen when you start learning spells, and then counterspells. If you aren't concentrating on the spell you're intending to use, you can accidentally cause another spell to happen."

"I'm not surprised," Sirius huffed, "that idiot can't focus on anything but his reflection. He shouldn't be trying any spells!"

"Just proves his incompetence all the more," Harry shrugged, "not that anyone should have needed it."

Still furious, but calmed slightly by the subsequent discussion, they were all willing to keep going without shouting death threats, for now.

"Ew," Sirius wrinkled up his nose at the mental image.

"I've never heard of anyone doing that after the age of sixteen," Remus sniffed, "by that time, any idiot can master the concept of focusing on one spell at a time."

"Can't believe Hermione is still sticking up for him," Lily sighed.

"Gross," James grumbled.

Now it was Harry's turn to wrinkle up his nose in disgust at the remembered taste of that.

"What did it taste like?" Sirius asked, he'd never known anyone who had to take it.

"Nothing you'd ever tasted before, or wanted again," Harry grumbled.

"The worst part is, I can't even argue with her this time," Remus sighed.

"Sorry Harry," Lily sighed, "I just don't see him being able to do that. Those Bludgers are charmed especially so that they can't be tampered with. No student should be able to get past that."

Harry nodded, agreeing with his mom's opinion even without the feeling's reinforcing that she was right.

"Sadly not," James wrinkled his nose in disgust, "I had to take some once, Auror training protocol and all, and it doesn't matter who you change into. The stuff is awful."

"Gee, thanks dad," Harry said.

"With any luck he'll get kicked off the team!" Sirius said brightly, finally finding something good about this match.

"Her intentions are good, honestly," Remus sighed, "but if I'm ever told to rest again, I really will smack someone."

James and Sirius exchanged smiles, knowing full well they had never indulged in Pomfrey's rules. They had always used James cloak, and snuck down to see Remus, and they wondered if Ron and Hermione would do the same.

"Ouch," they all muttered, not liking that description one bit.

"Hermione?" James asked, sounding more confused than confident.

"Why would she be there?" Lily asked.

"Because these two knuckleheads were thinking Harry's friends would sneak in to see him," Remus offered, "but I think Hermione doing that is a little odd."

"I think it just proves all the more how much she likes Harry," Sirius snipped, giving Harry a look he didn't understand one bit. Of course Hermione liked him, they were friends.

"Dobby!" They yelped in surprise. "What's he doing there?" Remus added on.

"What's he doing there?" James repeated when Harry looked uneasily around the room, his dad's voice coming out between gritted teeth as he guessed what Harry was thinking now.

"Ah, why are you asking me," he finally said, "I've no idea."

All four of them grumbled a bit, having a really bad feeling about this. The last time Dobby had been around, it hadn't been very pleasant, and they were just as weary this time.

"Wait," Sirius said, "so does that mean, did Dobby have something to do with paralyzing Mrs. Norris?"

"What makes you think that?" James asked.

"He's trying to scare Harry into leaving, I'm wondering if he might have pulled that stunt to keep that going," Sirius shrugged.

"No," Remus said, going a little pale, "but you're on the right track, I think. What if Dobby was trying to scare Harry away from the school because he knew something like this might happen."

"A house-elf knew a cat would be paralyzed?" James asked in disbelief.

"It's not out of the realm of possibilities," Lily agreed with Remus.

"Well then who paralyzed the cat, and is making Harry hear a voice," Sirius asked, throwing his hands up in frustration. They were pretty well into this book by now, and still had no real suspect.

All five of them sighed, letting it go for now.

"Well, guess I was right," Remus sighed, not looking very happy.

"Yes, yes, that does tend to happen sometimes," Sirius scoffed.

"Now I just want to know if I was right about why he did," Remus huffed, ignoring Sirius so that he could read.

"That's kind of creepy," James muttered, find it much less endearing than a girl that was a friend of Harry's.

"It's like he adopted Harry," Sirius nodded. "If Dobby didn't have a family of his own, and Harry was of age, Harry could possibly bind Dobby to his family line."

"Is that really how it works?" Lily asked.

"It's more complicated than just saying it," Sirius smirked at her, "but something along those lines."

Lily huffed, unable to decide if he was being sarcastic, and none of the boys were helping.

"How?" Lily asked in disbelief, "Exactly how powerful are house-elves?"

"Very," Sirius said with a straight face, "they're probably the most powerful magical creature that exist, which is why they were enslaved by wizards so many years ago."

"How were they enslaved if they're so powerful?" Harry asked.

"That's a long, really ugly history on the wizard part," Remus said, "we'll try and explain that later."

Harry nodded in content for now.

Lily winced in sympathy for the poor thing all over again, though honestly thinking she was still annoyed at him being the cause of all of Harry's problems this year.

"Also proves my earlier point," James nodded, "he clearly has no idea how things work if he thought the train was the only way to get to school."

Lily's lower lip quivered in real pain for this creature now, saying, "I feel like an arse. How are there not laws in place to prevent this kind of thing?"

"It's not your fault Lily," James said at once, "exactly how many people are involved in that type of thing, and none of them have said a word either."

"Besides," Sirius shrugged, "I doubt there's anything you could do. Pass as many laws as you like, house-elves belong to their owners. You can't control the way they're treated."

Lily fired up at once, snapping, "Like you can't control the way people treat animals, or their own children! There are laws to prevent that kind of abuse! You see house-elves as less than them!"

Sirius' superior look faltered for the first time. He disagreed with nearly every aspect of his parent's life, but the one thing he'd never had a problem with was their treatment of Kreacher. He was a vile thing, hateful and spiteful to the extreme, to him anyways. So whenever he saw him being punished, never bothering to learn the reasons, he'd had no problems. Never having met any other house-elves besides the ones at Hogwarts, who he'd given about as much attention as the ghosts into their free time outside of politely giving him food, he had no reason to think otherwise about the species as a whole.

Dobby certainly hadn't changed his mind so far, he was being an absolute arse trying to keep Harry out of school. Now, at Lily's words, he suddenly thought of Harry at Privet Drive again, no one taking the time to care what happened to him. Harry had tried comparing his life to Dobby's and Sirius had scoffed at the idea, there couldn't be any similarities, right?

He shook off his feelings and snapped at Remus to keep going, ignoring the curious looks from everyone else at what exactly had him quiet for so long.

"Wow, I kind of forgive him," Remus said sadly, "this is just sad."

James and Lily both nodded, Sirius crossed his arms and said nothing. Surely the elf was just trying to get Harry to pity him.

Harry went a little cross eyed for a moment, hating that feeling of significance that was gone as soon as he tried to understand why.

"His Bludger!" Sirius roared, "he tried to break your head open!"

"Sirius, you said you wouldn't add him to your kill list," Harry said weakly, "whatever he did remember? Dobby's got the right intentions...I think."

This calmed the others, slightly. They were still angry, but they had promised not to take it out on Dobby. He must have a reason for this if Harry said so.

Sirius though, was still furious. He'd only agreed to that because he thought Dobby wouldn't make another appearance, that his worst thing he'd done was make Harry's life even more miserable at the Dursley's, more than enough reason to warrant his fury, but he had given Harry the benefit of the doubt in pitying the creature. Besides, it not being his house-elf, he couldn't do anything about it anyways. Now, he was determined to find out whose elf this was, and silently planning on doing something to the stupid little thing. Maybe not kill him, he'd keep that promise, but he would never take anything threatening his godson's life without taking revenge back.

"What did he think was going to happen when he aimed a weighted ball at your head?" Remus demanded.

"Err," Harry said lamely, he had no response for that.

"So he intended to send you home limbless!" James yelped in disgust.

"I don't care what the elf thinks," Lily huffed, "if you couldn't be helped at the school, you would have been sent to Saint Mungo's, healed there, and then come back to school."

"Like Dad said," Harry shrugged, "Dobby doesn't know how this stuff works."

"That's getting old," James muttered.

"If he answers that, I actually will forgive him," Remus huffed in agitation. Clearly Dobby knew something he wasn't telling.

"Why would that be?" James asked curiously, "people would treat their house-elf's the same without Voldemort being around."

"More of Dobby not having a clue what's going on," Sirius muttered in disgust.

Lily gave him a scathing look. She had thought she'd seen, for just a moment, something pass across his face. Now it was gone, and he looked as surely as any other time elves were mentioned.

"Once more?" James asked in surprise. "When was it opened before?"

"I've never heard of that," Sirius agreed.

"Wish we had," Remus sighed, "we might have gotten more clues where it is."

"Are you lot crazy?" Lily yelped in disgust, "the 'monster' that's supposedly in there doesn't bother you!"

"Nah," Sirius said, "that's probably just fake, to scare people away from finding it. Slytherin might have hide something really valuable there, and I want to know what."

"So here's hoping Harry might find it," James said, going bright eyed for a moment.

"I want to slap all of you," she sighed, rubbing at her own temple. Harry fought back the urge to agree with his mother.

"This elf is weird," James said, "I don't get why that was a secret."

"Well, since we didn't know about it, I'd say it isn't widely known," Sirius shrugged.

"Wonder what happened before," Remus said thoughtfully.

"That's another good point," Lily nodded, "his statues, should protect him. Why is Dobby so freaked over Harry in particular?"

"No good reason," Harry sighed.

"So he knows then," Remus said, raising a brow in surprise.

"Geez, I really want to know who Dobby's owner is," Sirius said, ulterior motives aside, he just knew that this elf's owner would somehow be important for Dobby to be knowing all of this.

"Probably for the best," Lily said sadly, "he clearly couldn't tell you anything, or if he let something slip out he beat the crap out of himself."

"Here's hoping he doesn't come back," Sirius muttered.

Remus stopped right there, glancing up briefly at the others who all looked as scared as he felt.

"A statue," Lily whimpered, "like a human sized statue?"

Harry nodded dumbly, knowing full well he wasn't going to like what Remus was fixing to read.

"Please tell me it was Lockhart," Sirius said weakly.

Remus sucked in a deep breath before reading.

"Him?" Lily yelped.

"On the stairs?" James said with unease, "It wasn't Ron was it?"

"No," Harry said with confidence.

"Stop interrupting me," Remus huffed, "I want to know who it is."

The married couple went silent at the rebuke.

All five of them shivered in disgust, hoping dearly McGonagall was wrong.

"Bloody hell," Sirius groaned.

"That poor kid," Lily whispered.

"Who would attack him though?" Remus asked, running one hand through his hair in frustration, "everyone hates Mrs. Norris and Filch, but who has a grudge against a first year?"

"Maybe it's random?" James offered.

"Or it really is someone against muggle-borns," Sirius said, fidgeting a bit and hoping he was wrong.

"You still can't tell a muggle-born just by looking at them," James disagreed, "so unless someone knew Colin, that shouldn't matter."

"I still want to know how!" Remus asked when it appeared they still had no new leads on the first question. "The only thing that can petrify people like that is a gorgon. I refuse to believe one is getting in and out of that school without being noticed."

They all sighed as they realized, despite a new victim, they had no more answers than before, and in fact more questions.

"My question is, what's the point?" James grumbled, "this can't all just be to scare the students. There must be an endgame to this."

"Let us know if you figure it out," Harry said miserably.

"I thought Dumbledore said McGonagall found him on the stairs?" Sirius asked, trying to distract himself again, "what, did she really fear she couldn't handle whatever on her own."

"Would you want to handle this on your own?" Remus shuddered.

"Do gorgons eat people or something?" Harry asked.

"They're not known to," Remus shook his head, "they're not categorized as beasts anyways. They haven't been known to make any appearance at any congregation of our kind, so very little is known about their habits."

"They're found in Greece," Sirius added, "there's never even been a sighting of them here."

"Now that's interesting," James said thoughtfully, "has anyone ever brought out muggle things to see what happens when a gorgon stairs at it?"

"Don't even think about it," Lily snapped at once, "I don't even want to think of you lot out there trying those kinds of stunts."

The boys all huffed in annoyance, Sirius saying,"I told you Lily would be a killjoy."

"Be nice," James said at once, "she just means she doesn't want to hear about it, because she wants to come. Isn't that right Lily Flower."

Lily looked to the ceiling, as if praying for patience, and Remus took that as his cue to keep going.

Harry felt like he was going to be sick again, but he was learning to control the feeling the more it went on. It wasn't a gorgon, his instincts were sure of this, but he refused to allow another memory to blast him again. They clearly scared his family, so he would just have to wait and see to find out what it really was, and in the meantime, ask as many questions as it took to take his mind off this pain.

Lily was tempted to point out that under normal circumstances, that would have ruined the film, but this was a magically imbued camera so perhaps there were charms in place to protect this? Either way she didn't know cameras that well, and didn't want to delay in pointing this out to the others.

"Well that answers that question," Sirius said, a little disappointed.

"I'm surprised Colin would have still gotten petrified though," Remus said thoughtfully, "after all the only sure fire way to not be hurt by the gorgon's look is to only look at their reflection. I guess looking through a lens wouldn't count."

"Again, something more to test," James grinned.

Lily twitched, and James automatically flinched back like he thought she was going to slap him again. Lily instead smoothed some hair back from her face, exposing a vindictive smile.

"How does he work that out?" Lily asked grumpily, more than sick of this whole school being so vague this year.

"I wonder," Remus pondered, having noted something about a monster within the Chamber earlier, it didn't really add up though...

"What are you thinking Moony?" James asked.

He shook himself and said, "let me finish this chapter, it's only a bit left, then I'll explain."

"That's what we want to know," Lily grumbled.

"Okay Remus, how?" James demanded.

* * *

Actual favorite chapter of this book, I tell even though no one asked.


	11. THE DUELING CLUB

Remus was still puzzling, and knowing better than to interrupt him Sirius instead said, "I think he's thinking it's no longer a Gorgon."

"Why?" Lily asked, it was the only reasonable explanation to her.

"Something Binn's said," Remus said, going cross eyed a bit as he continued to categorize everything he knew about this situation so far. "I'm just wondering, well of course it would suite Slytherin... but how could it be..." and he trailed off into more mutterings.

Harry took a leaf out of Ron's book and said, "If, in a month or so, you feel like explaining, you will let us know?" He couldn't deny how eager he felt to hear another answer, since he was so sure the Gorgon one was wrong.

"Not going to happen Harry," James said sadly, "he's going to be like this until he works it out in his own way."

"Are we supposed to wait for him?" Lily asked as she got up and took the book from Remus herself.

Lily's actions startled Remus out of his reverie, and he looked about himself before smiling weakly and saying, "Just puzzling out some things. Nothing still makes enough sense though."

"At least tell us why you think it isn't a gorgon," Harry asked.

"Because if it was, there are several actions the teachers could take to prevent that. I'm sure they would have after Mrs. Norris, so how did this happen again?"

"But what else could petrify people, and cat's, like this?" Sirius asked.

"I'm working on that," Remus reassured, "and I will let you know, before the month's up," he finished grinning at Harry.

Harry blushed, not realizing Remus had even been listening, while his friends laughed at the pair.

Lily read on sadly, very scared and upset now. If Remus, the guy who seemed to know everything there was to know about magical creatures, didn't know right away what was running around the school, she was honestly terrified to hear the answer.

"That's hardly going to stop the rest of the school from figuring it out," Sirius said in disbelief.

"Appreciate the thought though," Remus said.

"Huh?" All five of them muttered.

"Wonder where they got to?" James said in surprise.

"Surprised they weren't down there to check on Harry," Sirius corrected.

"I'm sure they, ah," Remus said, not able to come up with a good reason.

Harry frowned, trying not to feel hurt his friends didn't seem to care about whether his arm had grown back.

Lily felt bad for Harry, clearly having a good guess at what he was thinking, and knowing full well his friends would have a good reason, so decided to read.

"He makes that seem like such a bad thing," James said, grinning brightly, "personally I'm offended none of us ever thought of that."

"Of course," Lily said, ignoring her husband, "they went to go check on the Polyjuice Potion. They might have thought you would get out later, so they went there first."

Harry smiled, looking far more relaxed now.

"What makes you think they would brew the Polyjuice Potion in there?" Sirius asked.

"They've already established it's a secluded place no one goes in," she shrugged, "as good a place as any really."

"I can think of some better ones," Remus disagreed.

"And they've already been caught in there, by Filch and Percy," James added.

"Well, let's just see then," she said.

"Okay fine," Sirius sighed, speaking for the boys, "but our points still stand."

"We hadn't explored as much as you guys seemed to," Harry said with a shrug, "so it seemed like a good idea to us."

"Subtle," James snorted.

"Explains why they got a start on the potion all the more though," Remus said, "now students really are getting attacked, it would freak them out all the more."

"Freaks me out," Lily agreed.

"Would make a good motive if Malfoy could pull it off," Sirius said sadly.

"Again, applaud the logic he's trying," James said sadly, "but as there's never been another reported instance of a student being petrified like this, I don't see it happening."

"Can't even begin to figure that out," Remus agreed with a huff.

"No," Lily said slowly, "the times Harry's heard it, he heard it going up. Invisible doesn't equal intangibility."

"Which don't petrify," Remus sighed, "which is what I'm mostly stuck on."

"My sentiments exactly," James sighed, unable to decide which he was more annoyed by right now, Harry's 'saviour' this year or this mysterious monster.

"Those poor dears," Lily said sadly, "imagine you being a first year there, and even a muggle born to boot!"

"School never even got that bad for us," James agreed, and they had grown up in the epitome of Voldemort's reign.

"Well this can't be good," Sirius said brightly.

Sirius couldn't help but chuckle at those antics, it did seem like fun indeed.

"Honestly Sirius, even you never tried to scare first years," Lily snapped.

"No," he agreed, "but I would have done it to my baby brother. There's a difference."

"Why would that scare Regulus?" James asked.

"Why would that scare Ginny," Sirius countered.

"Alright you two," Remus cut in, "let Lily keep going."

Sirius winced slightly, he didn't think it would scare the poor kid that much.

Lily made a noise of scathing disgust, saying, "Probably Lockhart's fault as well. He was the one going on and telling people he made some magical amulet that protected people."

"It's ridiculous, we all agree," Remus nodded, "since I doubt a single thing those students could come up with would keep something like this away."

"You got any more ideas yet?" James asked.

"Nope," he muttered in annoyance.

"That poor kid," Lily said miserably, she hated how down Neville seemed to be.

"There's no such thing as 'almost' a squib," Sirius scoffed, "you're either magical, or not. Someone ought to smack whoever convinced Neville to get that stuff."

"Pity that," James said in disgust, knowing full well the little git would have more opportunities now to be a jerk with less people around.

"Good for us though," Harry reminded him, "since there would be less witnesses around for our Polyjuice Potion."

Lily sighed, still not happy about this. Harry had survived it without major side effects, which meant most likely his friends had to, but it still made her uncomfortable such a young student was attempting such a huge project without supervision.

"Thank you so much for that mental image," James said, trying to force a laugh.

"She makes it sound so simple," Remus scoffed.

"It can be," James offered, an old gleam appearing in his eyes again, "say they-"

"Don't," Lily said at once. "I'd be more than happy not knowing the details of how you can scam stuff away from a teacher. I'd rather see what Harry did."

James deflated but nodded his ascent, he was curious to that as well.

"Oh is that all"? Sirius chuckled.

"Hey, that's the school motto," Remus chuckled.

"What?" Harry asked.

"Draco Dormiens Nunquam Titillandus, which translated from Latin means never tickle a sleeping dragon," Remus said brightly.

"The things you know, honestly," James cackled.

"So Draco means Never?" Harry asked.

"No, it means Dragon," Sirius said, "Purebloods are often named after the stars, constellations, and galaxies. Sirius is the Dog, Draco is the Dragon, etcetera."

"So glad I got left out of that," James laughed.

"It's a rough translation, Latin is really hard to do properly," Remus said, trying to get back on topic.

"Can we move on?" Lily giggled at the lot of them, "before someone else comes up with a lecture worth of comments."

"Like you would if we kept going," James smirked.

Lily blushed, not willing to admit he was probably right.

"Still a git then," James muttered, having privately enjoyed not having to deal with any of Snape's classes this year.

"Oh, you're not," Lily began with trepidation.

"Oh he is," James disagreed, the opposite emotion playing across his face.

"That's dangerous," Lily moaned, "if he drops that in his own potion, we don't even know if Harry did it right, being runny could be caused-"

"Mum," Harry said quickly, "I didn't throw it in my potion."

Lily gave him a wary look, before nodding and reading, still fearful.

"That's ten times better," James cackled, "if I've noticed anything, he's an idiot who doesn't need help making his potion explode."

"It was even more dangerous that way!" Lily disagreed with annoyance, "because he could have done something really bad to his potion, and now it's going to get everywhere!"

"Good distraction though," Sirius grinned at Lily.

Lily strangled herself off, remembering her promise not to continue yelling about this. Though to be fair, she wasn't yelling about the stealing part, just the distraction part. Still, sucking in a deep breath she read.

All four boys were snickering like children now, while Lily blatantly ignored them. At least Goyle seemed to do his potion right, which was a miracle in itself.

"Why does he think someone 'did it'?" Remus asked, a crazy smile still plastered on his face. "Like Prongs said, he's stupid enough to blow up his own potion."

"That's rich coming from you," James said with glee, now eyeing his friend and making Remus wince, "since I remember quite well when you-"

"Okay," Remus groaned, "sorry I mentioned it."

"What?" Harry said eagerly.

"I blew up a potion," Remus huffed, feeling it was obvious, but willing to explain for Harry. And only Harry. His friends were gits. "And they've never let me live it down."

"Well, since you did it like once a year," Lily said, "you can hardly blame them."

"Lily!" Remus yelped, looking at her in an almost betrayed way.

"That was for ratting me out about the cat," she smiled sweetly, "and it was for Harry's benefit."

Harry wasn't listening. He was too busy laughing at them. Remus trailed off into mutterings, his friends catching a few familiar excuses like 'not my fault I kept falling asleep' but Harry had calmed down and Lily was ready to keep reading.

"Wish I could be there to see that," Sirius said with glee.

"I love how Harry seems to come up with the best prank ideas, and he doesn't even try," James agreed.

"Subtle," James snickered.

"Oops," Harry winced, having hoped Snape would go along with his father's line of thinking, and not investigate it too much.

"You don't get into trouble do you?" Lily asked in trepidation.

"Snape can't prove Harry did it," Sirius disagreed.

"When has that ever stopped him," James huffed.

"That's harsh," Remus said, "it was dangerous and stupid, fine I'll agree, but that's only worth a few detentions."

"I will repeat," James said, "when has that ever stopped him from exaggerating."

"That's creepy," Sirius shuddered, "I really wish you'd stop saying that kind of stuff Harry."

Harry shrugged, having a vague feeling his younger self was right, but he had no idea why.

"At least you'll be on your guard," James said brightly.

"That's an awful idea," Remus cackled.

"Why?" Lily said, puzzled, "I think it's a great idea. Honestly, why didn't we ever do that?"

"Think about it Lily," James said in a slow voice, "a large abundance of student's, all being encouraged to point their wands at each other, with minimal to no supervision."

Lily pursed her lips and said, "Well, when you put it like that, but I think students should understand how dueling works before they graduate at least-"

"Nah," Sirius said, still grinning with Remus at the potential for mayhem this could cause, then he put on a school teacher's voice as he said, "the students are too young to know how the real world works. Enjoy your youth while you can."

"Who was that?" Lily asked

"McGonagall," Sirius said, his face dropping slightly when she hadn't caught that right away. "We asked to start a dueling club at the end of our first year, and she said that to me."

"Personally," Remus said, still grinning, "I think she just said no to you, and anyone thereafter, because it was your idea. I told you I should have been the one to suggest it."

Sirius huffed and muttered something inarticulate.

"So why do you think it's allowed now?" James asked.

All of them shrugged, having no idea about this.

"That would be interesting," James snickered.

"No," Remus disagreed, "but the person who's supposedly Slytherin's heir, and doing this, most likely can."

"You really know how to kill the mood," Sirius grumbled.

"Oh," Lily said brightly, "perhaps it's just a demonstration purpose."

"Why would you demonstrate something, and expect them not to do it?" Remus disagreed.

"Now that is a rumour we started," James grinned.

"We got sick of hearing people mock Flitwick behind his back, so we said that. Shut people right up." Sirius agreed.

"I'm surprised that's still circulating," Remus grinned.

"Well we found our test dummy," Remus muttered, causing all of them to snicker.

"Now this I might actually enjoy," Sirius said, growing bright eyed.

"Most useful thing Snape's ever done, blown that idiot up," James agreed, leaning forward eagerly.

"Does he ever go a full hour without mentioning that?" Lily asked in disgust.

"If that's not the biggest load of rubbish," Remus sniffed.

"Well he should," James grinned a bit, "otherwise he would have been the test dummy."

"That wasn't funny James," Lily snapped, flaring up at once.

He raised his hands in surrender, mentally thinking that wasn't the brightest thing to say in front of her.

"We're not," Sirius said vacantly, "I'm actually torn because I'm rooting for Snape to kill him. It's the weirdest thing ever!"

"The enemy of my enemy is my friend," Remus said brightly.

"I'll take that," James shrugged.

"We can only hope," Harry sighed, knowing he had just chuckled then when Ron said it.

"Aw Harry, you really do need this club," Sirius said sadly, "Snape's not that scary."

"Maybe to you four," Lily huffed "but he's how much older than Harry?"

That made the three boys fidget, while Harry smirked at his mom.

"Wouldn't count on that," James muttered, knowing full well Snape wasn't known for holding back.

James beamed at Harry, more than pleased he had mimicked his son or vice a versa, which ever.

Harry startled a bit, he knew that spell for some reason. It meant something really important to him. Why this spell in particular though?

"Wow," Remus said in surprise, "he only tried to disarm him?"

"Nicest spell he's ever used I'm sure, " Sirius sniped.

"Ha!" All five of them said with glee.

"This is one time in my life, I'm actually happy Snape cursed someone!" James crowed with glee.

Lily rolled her eyes at them again.

"You mean you didn't join in?" Sirius asked.

"We weren't going to be cheering for Snape," Harry said, "but we were certainly clapping."

Which caused them to laugh again.

"Agreed," the three boys also said together.

"Exactly how many times can he pretend he knows what he's doing?" Remus asked in disbelief.

"Please let Snape cut his hair off, please let Snape cut his hair off!" Sirius started chanting.

"Bummer," they all muttered, having rather enjoyed the spectacle.

"Now he's just starting trouble," James said in disgust.

"Harry can beat him no problem," Sirius said at once.

"I'm not doubting that," James nodded in agreement, "but Snape's just lost any points I would have given him for that Lockhart stunt."

The three boys made choking noises to hold back there laughter, something Lily noticed, though she smiled grimly pleased they had tried to hold back at all.

"Smart pup," Sirius nodded.

"Right," James drew the word out in disbelief.

"What a little cozener," Sirius muttered.

Lily winced in disgust, that horrid mental image of her sister trying to do the same thing back at once, but she pushed past the hazy read vision so she could read how Harry reacted.

"That was being kind," Remus said, still grinning at Harry's brilliant reaction timing.

"You're a natural," James beamed.

"What?" Sirius yelped, "No! Now's the time to disarm him, like Snape did to Lockhart."

Harry said, "Sorry, it just didn't occur to me."

"Well, you've got potential, we'll work on it," James said, still grinning.

"That's the best he's got," Remus scoffed.

"Honestly, all of you," Lily said, "can't you just be happy they're not trying to kill each other?"

The boys didn't even bother to look sheepish, they were enjoying this too much. As much of a prat as Malfoy had been all year, here they were in a sanctioned opportunity to get some payback. They only wished Harry would take a little more advantage than this.

"Thank goodness there's one grown up around," Lily muttered.

"I keep forgetting about that." Sirius snickered, "Did you ever find out what his wand had done?"

"Made some kind of foul smelling gas, Seamus was about to throw up before Snape did that," Harry said.

"I really hope he gets a new one, at least over the summer," Lily sighed, "he can't keep that thing for the rest of school."

"I want to know why another teacher hasn't said something by now," Remus puzzled. "That can't be allowed, or even safe."

"It's not really the teacher's job though," James said back with a frown, "after all, what can they do? Make the Weasleys buy him a new wand?"

Remus sighed, but agreed it couldn't really be helped.

"Oi!" Harry hooted in indignation.

"Now how did that happen?" Remus asked.

"Dean told us later," Harry grumbled, now remembering that vividly, "Hermione did disarm Millicent, and she charged at Hermione instead. Guess Hermione didn't react in time."

"Well, props for thinking on her feet anyways," Lily said weakly, speaking about both girls.

"I really wish I could have been there to see that," Sirius sighed.

"Did that just occur to you?" James scoffed.

"I'll faint if he even knows how to," Remus griped.

"Dang, why does he seem to hate Neville as much as you?" Sirius asked with a scowl in place, hatting this nearly as much as if he'd said that about Harry.

Harry opened his mouth to answer, but it was gone as soon as he had tried to start. So he shrugged and slumped back, instead saying, "guess he just hates everyone."

Lily muttered something indistinctly, she hated how rude Sev was being to a child, in public.

"I'm okay with this," James nodded, "Malfoy owes a few more curses sent his way."

"Whatever he just showed you, do the opposite," Remus said.

Harry nodded in agreement, not even needing to remember what Lockhart said to know Remus knew better.

All five of them laughed meanly, Remus loudest of all. He hadn't realized his advice would be taken so literally.

"Your mouth is a little overused," James grumbled.

"He never showed you anything to begin with," Sirius yelped.

"Snape really creeped me out just then," Harry defended.

"Lockhart doesn't deserve that title," Remus muttered to himself. Sirius heard him and gave his friend a sympathetic look, knowing exactly why Remus would feel so angry about this.

"Like I said," Remus nodded, "the opposite of what he did."

"I still don't know how to counter though," Harry sighed.

"Then duck," Sirius shrugged.

"What?" they all yelped in shock.

"What's that going to do?" Harry asked uneasily.

"It conjures a snake!" Lily moaned in fear.

"From nothing?" Harry asked, "I thought you said that was seventh year magic?"

"Most likely, Snape had one nearby, which is what he was whispering to Malfoy," Sirius said uneasily. "The spell doesn't actually make a snake out of nothing, it summons the nearest one."

"Why would Snape even have a snake nearby?" Harry asked in disbelief.

"You can use their venom's in certain potions," Lily muttered.

"Oh," Harry deflated, that wasn't out of normal then, for a potions teacher to be using something like that. "So, how would I even get rid of that?"

"A banishing spell," James shrugged, looking as upset as the others, "but since you might not know that yet, Snape most likely told Malfoy to do that, just so he could scare you. Then he'll get rid of it himself."

At this explanation, they all still were giving each other very weary looks. Harry didn't understand what the big deal was, so he finally asked, "Okay, so why are you all looking like something really bad is about to happen?"

"Harry, don't you remember the last time you ran into a snake?" Remus asked cautiously.

Harry grinned, looking back that memory was hilarious, and so he agreed verbally, then he faltered at once as he also remembered how upset his family had been. He thought back to how scared and worried they were, and that feeling he'd gotten that many people had once looked at him in the same way. Because he was a Parselmouth. Now, a snake had appeared in front of most of the school, and if he started talking to it again, well that would explain his memory. Harry now grimaced, looking as upset as the rest of them.

"Did anybody ever figure out why I was a Parselmouth?" Harry asked. "You said it's only passed down from the family line."

"No," James said sadly, "I've no idea why you can."

"It doesn't mean anything to us though dear," Lily said as Harry's feelings were clearly sinking even lower.

Harry sighed before waving his mother on, deciding they may as well get this over with.

"Jerk," James said with more heat than he normally would have, now fully blaming Snape for what he knew was about to happen to his son.

"You can't blame Severus for this," Lily said at once, "he didn't know-"

"He did this to mess with Harry," Sirius snarled, "and it's going to be awful. It doesn't matter what he intended."

"He's trying to help Filch's cat!" Lily spat, finally using that trump card, "he doesn't hold grudges like you seem to."

"Oh please," Remus scoffed. "He hates Harry because of James. If that isn't holding a grudge, I don't know what is."

Lily opened her mouth to continue arguing, but Harry cut in saying, "Please, I want to know what happened. Mom, Snape does hate me, you can't deny that. Dad, he didn't cause what was about to happen on purpose. Please, can't we just get past this?"

Both parents deflated, muttering their ascent. Sirius and Remus were eyeing Harry with shock, not having believed anything could get those two to stop arguing like that. Then again, they'd never tried very hard. Always having sided with James whenever Lily began her attack.

"Bloody hell," Sirius hissed, switching his anger from Snape to Lockhart at once. "That twat's probably just going to summon another snake!"

"Nope," James shook his head sadly, "he's just going to make it unbanishable."

"Here I thought he couldn't get dumber," Remus muttered, hating to be proven wrong.

All five of them winced, knowing full well what was about to happen. Harry would never stand by and allow that to happen. Whether he recognized his ability to talk to snakes or not, they had no doubt he would act on his previous experience with the scaled beasts.

"Guess you never mentioned that boa constrictor to Ron then," James sighed, if he had Ron would have explained to Harry about what had just happened.

"Nope," Harry said sadly, "it never occurred to me. I thought it wasn't even a big deal."

"A common reaction, learning certain things about people," Remus winced.

'So he killed the snake?' Lily thought, thinking that was a little harsh, but unable to think what other effect could cause a snake, that was now unbanishable, to disappear in a puff of black smoke. Still, she was far more concerned with what was about to happen to her son, so she didn't bring it up.

"Guess Ron decided to get him out of there," Sirius nodded.

"Probably scared the crap out of him as well though," James said sadly.

"Well when you put it like that it sounds ridiculous," Harry said weakly, as his family was still looking rather scared. Lily sighed, she knew she wasn't going to like what was about to happen to Harry at school, but she forced herself to keep reading.

"Can't they have heard?" Harry asked.

"No," James shook his head, "I've never heard a Parselmouth in action, but apparently all we can hear is hissing."

Harry went a little paler as he said, "I, didn't even realize, it didn't sound that way to me. I thought I was just talking to it, and it could understand me. How could I have..." he trailed off, looking even more upset than before now.

"We don't know Harry," Lily sighed, running a hand lovingly through his hair, "but I want you to remember that we don't care. Nor will your real friends. It's just, startling is all."

Harry nodded, leaning into her touch for a moment, before letting her go on. More annoyed than ever he didn't know the answer to this.

Harry did the same thing now. Great, if the whole school had been thinking it before, now they were going to be convinced he was the heir of Slytherin!

Sirius said loudly, "So why did the other symbols get picked!" Trying to distract Harry again.

Lily answered, "Lions are very proud creatures, known for their bravery. Eagles known for their sight, and Ravenclaw isn't always necessarily intelligence so much as learning to see. Badgers are homely animals, they protect their own and their home, but don't seek out fights. The fact that snakes are known as a cunning animal probably made Slytherin like the animal all the more."

Harry was distracted, listening to his mother. The others knew Harry had been thinking exactly the same thing as them, but since they all knew it was preposterous, they didn't want Harry dwelling on it too much.

Remus also offered, "I've also heard rumor that those were their patronuses as well, which is why they favored those animals."

Harry was instantly distracted now, furrowing up his brow as he tried to remember why he might know what a patronus was? He didn't ask out loud though, deciding to deal with one thing at a time.

Now that Harry seemed a little calmer again, Lily was willing to read.

"He's not," James began viciously, "he's as much related as Ron! Why doesn't Ron-"

"It's okay," Lily said at once, "Ron knows that to. He's just making jokes, like you lot always do."

James deflated, looking slightly apologetic. Harry smiled and told his dad he didn't blame him, and in fact thanked him for the defence.

Both James and Sirius huffed and muttered some things about 'all purebloods are' but Lily didn't stop to hear this again.

James made a pitiful noise somewhere in his throat. He hated this! Hated not being there for his son, not being able to comfort him when he clearly was upset about this. Harry didn't have anyone to turn to but him! Even Hagrid, and clearly not Ron, could comfort Harry about this matter.

Harry gave him a small, encouraging smile, and James forced himself to return it, though it quickly faded away as Lily kept going.

"I haven't been this depressed since Christmas of your last year," Sirius groaned, looking pale as snow himself. "What is it about you and holidays? All the worst stuff happens on the best days!"

Harry shrugged, saying weakly, "It wasn't quite Christmas yet."

No one looked very comforted.

Remus sighed, rather puzzled, since Harry didn't recognize the difference anyways, if that was true or not, and having no way to find out just let it go.

"Not necessarily true," James said weakly, "your blood really doesn't have much to do with your house. It's more to do with your potential for learning."

"Oh," Lily said briskly, forcing a teasing tone into her voice, "so you're allowed to explain how the hat works, but when I do, it's not relevant."

"No," Sirius said, brightening at once at what looked like a new topic, "we said we didn't want to hear it then, because we wanted to know what house Harry's in. Now, go right ahead, educate us on hat magic."

Lily grinned at him but said innocently, "Surely you don't need me to tell you, you seem to know plenty on your own."

"You're right," Sirius nodded, "I do know. Plus, I still don't care."

Harry let out a burst of laughter at their vain attempt at cheering him up, which had clearly worked. Though, considering the friends he had, he seemed to be used to light bickering by now.

"It wanted to put you in all the houses," Lily reminded him, "you were just brave enough to say otherwise, hence Gryffindor."

Harry nodded, feeling far better now than he had then.

"I agree," Remus said at once, "I wasn't even there, and I realized after Harry spoke to it, the snake backed off."

"But you saw it from my point of view," Harry pointed out in a far calmer voice than they would have guessed. "To the rest of the school, it might have looked like that."

"Why are you arguing for the school now, but not then?" Sirius asked, waving at the book.

Harry shrugged and said, "I was mad then. Now, not so much. Guess I should thank you guys for that."

All four of them beamed, Harry had just openly admitted they had made him feel better, so they felt like they had at least done their job properly now, even if they couldn't then.

"Wow, wish we got that kind of luck," James said in surprise, "it didn't matter the weather, they never cancelled classes."

"Something about the Mandrakes," Harry said with a shrug, "we were still helping Sprout with them in class, but she didn't want our help with something..."

Lily simply read.

"Ah," Harry and James both nodded in understanding.

"Why is it so important to you?" Sirius sniffed. "I don't see why you care what he thinks, since your friends believe you."

"I didn't want someone walking around thinking I wanted them dead," Harry pointed out.

Sirius shrugged, admitting this.

James nodded, remembering that constant annoyance until they had finally made the map.

"Was it on purpose?" James asked innocently.

"Don't know," Harry shrugged, "I never got the full details."

"You've got more restraint than I do," Sirius laughed.

"Not a bad idea," Lily agreed.

"Though you're kind of out of luck if he's in his common room," Remus added.

Harry had a very bad feeling that he did find Justin that day, and then wondered why he would have a bad feeling about it. Did they have a fight about it and not make up?

"Pause for irony," James said, which Lily ignored, knowing full well that if it caught Harry's attention like that, she wasn't going to like this.

"Marked him down?" James scoffed in disgust. "You think he's making a list?"

"Malfoy would be number one, not these random kids," Sirius grumbled.

"Let slip!" Remus yelped, "he said he was going to a muggle school, well before Mrs. Norris was even petrified!"

Harry was grinning at all of them for their obvious defence of him.

"Slytherin's heir wasn't on the lose your first class," Lily snapped, she didn't usually condone these boys odd habits of correcting who was talking in the book, but this kid was annoying her as well.

"Stereotyping," all three boys muttered, very much aware they would have agreed before they knew their little Harry was one himself.

"Filch is everyone's enemy!" James snarled, "Is this kid trying to pretend otherwise."

Harry sighed miserably, they were some odd coincidences that the people that had annoyed him were the victims.

"Harry, you aren't really taking this kid to heart?" Remus asked in concern.

He admitted what he was just thinking, and that caused them all pause for a moment, not having made those links from victim to Harry. Sirius said, "that's ridiculous, it was those two who were out alone at the time, you knowing who they were doesn't mean a thing."

Harry nodded, looking very much like he wanted to believe him. He also wondered why he felt an odd pang about knowing the victims?

Lily stuttered a bit at that awful mental image.

"You sure this kid is a Hufflepuff?" Sirius grumbled in disgust, "Cause that was about the rudest thing ever!"

"Is he saying Harry was born a dark wizard?" Remus asked dangerously, "Because that is ridiculous! Dark Wizard's aren't born, they become that way through some twisted events."

Lily shivered in disgust at that sentence, while James grew angrier the longer this kid talked. The thing he wanted to know above all others, why Voldemort had gone after his family, and this little jerk was implying it was his son's own fault!

"That's it," Sirius raged, "I'm officially slapping this kid."

Lily quirked a brow at this, but resisted pointing out that they had no idea how old this kid was right now, so that sentence was useless. It made Sirius feel better, so she just kept reading.

"I can run pretty fast, pretty sure most students don't know that," Harry said weakly

"There's my prongslet," James said with glee, "showing some sarcasm in the face of this jerk."

Harry chuckled as James ruffled up his hair a bit.

"Good," Lily huffed, "maybe next time they'll think about gossiping in such a public place."

"To knock some sense into him," Sirius muttered, "and you."

"Well then clearly you need your eyes checked," Remus snapped.

"A miss?" James demanded, "the snake never even struck out!"

"Now he's just exaggerating his own facts," Sirius agreed with a growl.

"Why would he care!" James grumbled, "I'd attack him just for his fat mouth."

"So would you," all five of them muttered, not at all appreciating that reminder at this awful time.

"I'm rather surprised she didn't step in," Lily said distantly, "you seemed to have gotten quite loud."

"She was probably about to," Harry shrugged, deciding he must have mistaken Justin for Ernie, and this was the bad feeling he'd had.

"Hagrid in the castle again," Remus said, distracted at once, "well this can't be good. Last time we saw him in the castle, he had a dragon!"

"Please don't remind me of that," Sirius sighed.

"Ew," James wrinkled up his nose, "why was he walking around with that?"

"Well, it's a point of conversation anyways," Sirius shrugged.

"Well the fox thing is ridiculous," James said, "I've never seen a normal animal survive long enough on the grounds to do something like that twice. The Bugbear though, I don't know. It's not in many textbooks-"

Sirius gave a glance to Remus, and when it appeared he wasn't going to he himself said what he had learned back in his Care of Magical Creatures Class, "That's because Bugbears are a species kind of boggart, more pesky then anything, but close enough most people don't make the distinction like Hagrid did. They're not known for killing random animals though, so it's just as unlikely."

"What would kill them then?" James asked, also noting his friend's silence.

Remus wasn't listening. In fact, he seemed absent to his entire surroundings. It all added up... but how! The only magical creature he could work out wasn't capable of petrification...he huffed in frustration and focused on Lily again, then realized they were watching him curiously. He smiled grimly and said, "Sorry, just thinking, what was that?"

"We were trying to figure out what would kill Hagrid's roosters, since we don't like his two suggestions," James said.

Lily was shaking her head at the lot of them and scolded, "Hagrid, being Gamekeeper of the whole grounds, I don't understand why you're arguing the point at all. Just because you wandered the grounds every bloody night doesn't mean you have Hagrid's experience. If Hagrid says it could be either of those, it could be." Then she too turned to Remus to see what had kept him so quite.

"Oh," he shrugged, "a basic charm will protect them from most any kind of magical creatures, but he must have already had that up, so I've no idea." This was partially a lie, he had a vague idea why someone would want to kill a rooster, but he still didn't have proof of this theory yet, so he kept it quiet to himself until he did know. Lily, still suspicious, read.

"Guess Hagrid didn't have that charm up," James shrugged.

"Well, now he can," Lily said, "guess nothing's ever bothered to attack the roosters before this, so he never had."

That caused the four of them deep frowns as Harry, once again, seemed reluctant to talk to anyone about something that was bothering him. The only thing stopping them from saying anything about it was that they were sure he would speak to Ron and Hermione about it.

"Why?" James drew the word out in trepidation.

Harry sighed, muttering, "you're not going to like the answer."

Lily felt her own mounting fear as she said.

"Crap!" All five of them said at once.

"Okay, twice is coincidence, now I agree with Ernie," Sirius growled, "someone is trying to frame Harry."

"Next time start with the end of that sentence," Remus told him conversationally, "because I almost slapped you."

Harry was still sitting there, a look of shock on his face like he had been petrified himself, and Lily felt her fear continue to mount when she realized there was something else Harry must remember about this attack. Reading fearfully.

"I don't want to know. I do not want to know," Sirius muttered, quietly enough that Lily didn't even pause.

As Lily read that out, everyone in the room went very still.

James swallowed hard before whispering, "what could do that to a ghost?"

"N-nothing," Remus whispered, "I've never heard of anything like this."

"That's it, I want to pull Harry out of school now," Sirius said weakly.

"I...agree," James finally nodded.

"Well no one does pull me out," Harry sighed, finally coming out of his reverie.

Remus was turning everything possible over in his mind. He thought he knew the answer, there was only one creature that had the abilities to do this...but since these circumstances had never occurred, that he was aware of, was he right?

He hated to think that, if just one more student was petrified, he might have his answer, but he knew how awful that sounded, so he still kept his opinion to himself.

Remus narrowed his eyes and nodded to himself, which this time James and Sirius took note of. They exchanged a loaded look, and determined they would have to ask about that.

Lily was interrupted by a cry from above, making all of them jump. Sirius was the one to get to his feet and make his way upstairs this time, coming back down with the little baby cuddled in his arms. He was talking in a goofy voice saying, "Were you playing? Huh, did Uncle Sirius come in and find you making a mess of your room. I think we need to have a talk with daddy about his play pen disappearing-"

"He did what?" James asked, getting to his own feet and grinning as he followed Sirius into the kitchen.

You could hear them talking in there, and Harry asked, "was that accidental magic then?"

Remus nodded, saying, "most likely he saw something he wanted outside the pen, like one of his toys, so he made the baby gate disappear. The room's baby proofed, so were not concerned he got into anything."

"How young do you start doing accidental magic?" Harry asked, since the baby Sirius was now bringing back into the room was only a few months old.

"His age," Lily said, "err, your age, whatever. The point is, magic manifests at very young ages."

This was the best kind of distraction possible for the little group right now. Lily set the book aside, and all of them sat around having a nice normal conversation, avoiding the book altogether, because they didn't want to keep reading and possibly upset the baby again. Sirius even asked if they could have lunch after the baby was done eating. Lily agreed, and left the boys to it while she got up to go do just this.

By the time the baby was done eating, and had been burped and put back upstairs for a long nap, they were all full and in a much more content mood. What they were reading about was scary, no use in denying that, but after such a nice long break they got a little bit of a reminder that it was going to be okay. Harry was here and fine and safe, which was their most important motive.

When Lily picked up the book to read again, she was almost smiling despite the grim mood of the book.

James hesitated before saying, "I think you should have, ah dang. It's kind of awful both ways."

Sirius nodded and said, "If he stayed, it would have made him look guilty."

"If he made a run for it, and anyone even glimpsed him, it would make him look guilty," Remus agreed.

Lily sighed, hoping dearly her son wasn't going to be blamed for this as well.

"Well this won't be good," James muttered.

"Peeves yelled a lot louder than that Mum," Harry said lightly.

"I wasn't going to go shouting that," Lily disagreed.

Everyone shuddered in disgust at this, Nick still being the most disturbing part of this attack.

James grimaced, no longer finding that the least bit funny.

"Great," Sirius drolled, "this should be good."

"Idiot," Remus muttered darkly, "like anyone would stand around after they'd just done something like that. How do they even think you're doing this!"

Harry shrugged, he had never stopped anyone to ask for details, he didn't want to know.

"Thank Merlin for McGonagall," Lily smiled.

"Why that little-" Lily spluttered in disgust.

James grimaced and said, "yeah, Peeves likes making songs about awful things."

"I thought you got on alright with him?" she asked.

"No," Sirius laughed, "we just know how he works. We never said we liked him."

"He loved picking on me in particular," Remus added with fond remembrance.

"Why's that?" Harry asked curiously.

"Not sure," he shrugged, "guess I was just an easy target. He called me looney loopy, probably because he found me sleeping in random places throughout the castle."

"Why did you do that?" Harry asked further, not feeling nearly as reserved around these people anymore, feeling like he could ask them anything at this point.

"Transforming is exhausting for me," Remus sighed, "and I slept a lot both before and after it happened. Sometimes I just didn't feel like making the long trek up to the dormitory, so I'd curl up somewhere and take a nap. The amount of times Peeves saw me doing that must have inspired his song."

'He was the main reason we invented the map' James thought fondly 'we got tired of looking around for him every time he did that.' He decided against mentioning this to Harry though, since Harry still knew nothing of the map, he wanted to sit on that for a while longer until he had established what had happened to it.

Lily couldn't believe they were taking Peeves mocking Harry so lightly, but thinking back on all the things she'd seen the Poltergeist do over the years, she guessed making an awful song wasn't even the worst.

"I'm still happy she did that," Lily said.

The boys nodded, knowing that Peeves was more annoying then amusing to most people.

"Would that even work?" Harry asked.

"I've no idea, we never tried," James said curiously.

"Guess it does," Remus said in surprise.

"At least they didn't just leave him there," Lily agreed.

"How are they even going to fix him?" Sirius asked, "For that matter, what if someone was petrified with their mouth closed? How would they fix that?"

"You poor it down their nose," Lily shrugged.

"I find it fascinating you know that," James said, grinning lovingly at his wife.

She smiled indulgently at him before continuing, "As for Nick, I've no idea honestly."

Harry sighed miserably, he had a feeling he had asked someone this at some time, but he had no clear memory of this now, so he didn't pry into it.

"Where's she taking you?" James asked in trepidation.

"She doesn't think you did it?" Sirius asked with both surprise and anger.

Harry shrugged miserably, he certainly hoped his head of house didn't think that of him.

"Curtly?" Remus muttered, "that doesn't help."

"Crap." James muttered, "she took you to Dumbledore's office."

"Still doesn't answer whether they're blaming you," Sirius said, looking a little jittery. He'd really get mad if Harry was punished for this.

"I don't think he will," Lily said slowly, "after all, if he didn't think it was Harry back during these exact same circumstances with the cat, why would he now?"

This seemed to relive the rest of them.

"Well, look on the bright side," James said as he took the book from his wife, "Harry got sent to Dumbledore's office before we did. That's an accomplishment."


	12. THE POLYJUICE POTION

Lily snorted in disbelief, asking, "why is that an accomplishment?"

"It's a great honour to do something so bad you get sent to see the headmaster," Remus said with glee.

"Right," Lily rolled her eyes.

Harry remembered them having mentioned being sent to Dumbledore's office before, and asked, "why did you guys blow up a school corridor?"

"That was an accident," Sirius said, smiling brightly. "We were trying to set up a trap for a Slytherin, and this Ravenclaw kid came in and blew the whole thing early. If we'd been allowed to set it up right, it would have just blew the Slytherin's clothes off of him."

"He was okay," Remus said quickly at the looks on both Harry and Lily's faces. "Just had to spend two days in the hospital wing because his clothes wouldn't come off. They fixed up that hole pretty fast as well."

"I'm sorry you asked Harry," Lily sighed, "I'm much happier not knowing half the things these four came up with."

Harry didn't hear his mom that time, he was too busy chuckling at their antics. James gave his wife a superior grin, like 'ha he takes after me' before reading smugly.

"You've only been to three," James scoffed, "we got sent to all of them by our third year!"

"You sound so proud," Lily snorted.

"I'm agreeing with Harry though," Remus said, "Dumbledore's is the best."

"And that would have been depressing, if I knew it wasn't true," Sirius said brightly.

"What do those do?" Harry asked.

"I've no idea," James said, smiling as he remembered some of those instruments, and having to fight back the urge to go have a poke at them when he'd been up there himself, "we didn't stay long enough to ask."

"Now that's interesting," Lily said, going a little wide eyed, "I've never known anyone to put the hat on twice."

"You think it'll reshout out a house?" Sirius asked, grinning at his own stupid question.

James read on, curious himself what the hat would say.

"Well he can see inside your head," Lily giggled at the surprised look on Harry's face. "Why's it so surprising he knows what you're thinking, two years after he could do it last time?"

Harry shrugged, even after two years in the magical world, he still wasn't used to talking hats.

"Don't worry Harry," Sirius said bracingly, as Harry did look just a tad upset the Hat still stood by this. "I was supposed to be in Slytherin too, but I never looked back. The hat may place you, but you decide how you are."

Any lingering of looking upset vanished as Harry beamed over at him, causing Lily to restrain herself from making a jab at Sirius having said something both kind and intelligent.

Remus chuckled, and said, "I'd wondered why Harry hadn't mentioned Fawks."

"What is he?" Harry asked nervously, remembering quite well the sickly bird.

"He's a phoenix," Sirius shrugged, like that explained everything.

Seeing Harry's still blank look Remus explained more about the bird's qualities. Harry nodded along happily, then said quickly, "So, the bird's not going to drop dead then? Cause he looks awful right then."

"Nah," James said, "it's just one of his burning days. He's going to be reborn just as ugly."

"You probably won't see it though," Remus added, "Phoenixes are at their most vulnerable in their infant stage. They only do it around their familiar. I've always wanted to ask Dumbledore how he got Fawk as his, since it's so stinking rare to find a phoenix, let alone get one to trust you long enough to bond with it."

"More questions to ask," Lily said with a shrug, still fully planning a visit up to the school when they were allowed to leave the house again.

"What?" All four of them yelped in shock.

"Did he really?" James asked, studying the book like he thought it was lying to him.

Harry was nodding mutely, a stunned look on his face.

"Wow, I...have nothing to say to that," Remus said, giving Harry a very inquisitive look. "Unless Dumbledore is standing behind you, and even then it's a shocker he did it with you in the room."

Harry smiled sheepishly, he had no idea why Fawk had done this, but didn't like the extra attention it would get him if it was as odd as everyone here said it was. He certainly didn't need the extra curiosity about him.

"Nope," Sirius said.

"Obviously," Remus said, rolling his eyes at him.

"My son gets to do, and see, the coolest things," James sighed, thinking this was one time he didn't have to even do anything life threatening to get to see that.

Lily nodded and said, "you did look pretty surprised just then, but then that's probably the first time you've seen anything burst into flames, even knowing it was going to happen now."

Harry nodded, thinking back to that memory still made him want to back up in shock.

James snickered at his son's description, while Remus went wide eyed with glee and envy. He had only ever heard descriptions of new-born phoenixes, Harry got to see one in person. First the dragon now this! He was eagerly hoping Harry would describe something else new soon, before he remembered the circumstances that led to him being in both of those places, and his enthusiasm disappeared all over again.

"Well he seems to be in a hurry," Lily said in surprise.

"What spooked him?" Sirius added in confusion.

"Aw," Lily cooed, "he heard what happened and came to defend you."

"I've said it before, and I will forever say it, thank you Hagrid," James said, beaming.

Remus and Sirius were smiling as well, though they were still chuckling a bit at the vivid mental image Harry had painted.

"Not that you need one," Sirius said, "but Hagrid's even giving you an alibi."

"He had one for the first two attacks as well," Remus reminded him, "the abundance of ghosts, plus you can't leave the hospital wing without Madam Pomfrey knowing. Enter it sure, but you can't leave. Honestly, if anyone sat down and thought about it for more than a second it's obvious."

"Thanks all the same," Harry said, grinning at the pair of them.

"Wow," James said, going wide eyed, "and Hagrid doesn't like the Ministry at all."

"Can you blame him, they did snap his wand," Sirius agreed.

Though they were all pretty convinced Dumbledore thought this, they still released a sigh of relief that it was verbally confirmed all the same.

"I don't care how embarrassed he was," Harry said, smiling from ear to ear, "no one had ever defended me like that. I went down to his hut a few days later, and ate everything he cooked."

"Now that's gratitude," Sirius snickered.

"Did you tell him everything?" Lily asked hopefully.

"Did you tell him anything?" James repeated at the apprehensive look on Harry's face.

"No," Harry sighed, "I was still afraid of being called crazy more than anything."

They sighed in disappointment, but knew better than to argue the point.

"Okay, I don't blame you for not wanting to tell him about that," Remus agreed.

"I am so happy I don't think that anymore," Harry sighed, giving them all very grateful looks.

"Well yeah!" Sirius agreed, "I don't want to know what can kill a ghost again!"

Remus went bug-eyed, but forced himself not to shout out. No one had ever tested that, this idea had never happened in the wizarding world before...but he wondered if he'd finally found his answer. If it was though, then that meant what was running around Harry's school wasn't just the death of muggle-borns, it would be the death of them all! He tried to shake that thought away though, forcing himself to remain in the here and now and pay attention since he still wasn't positive he was right.

"That does sound pretty bad," James agreed, "especially since you're actively not trying to avoid him"

"You mean you can't?" Sirius asked in mock disappointment, "personally I'd stand in line to see that!"

"Children, honestly," Lily muttered in disdain, hating that her son felt so awful two years in a row because of the random students in this school.

"Now here's something fun," James grinned, "what exactly were they doing?" Then he read out eagerly.

Both James and Sirius cracked grins at this, finding this only the start of a list of jokes they would have made in the same instances.

"I don't see why that's funny," Lily said disapprovingly, "people are really scared of this, and them mocking Harry doesn't do any good."

"I disagree," James scoffed, "they're showcasing just how ludicrous the idea of Harry being the person doing this is."

Sirius and Remus didn't seem to be paying attention. Remus still had a bit of a vacant look on his face, unable to completely erase what his mind was sure it had just discovered, one Sirius had noticed happened every time someone made any kind of comment about this 'monster'. Had Remus figured it out? If so, why wasn't he sharing with the others?

James didn't seem to notice his friends were only vaguely paying attention now as he continued.

Remus snorted, that snapped him out of his revere, "unless there's a vampire running around, that won't do any good."

"It's my point though," Lily said harshly, "the first years are terrified, and her own brothers are making it worse."

"They're just goofing around," Sirius shrugged, "I don't know why she's so upset about them making a joke. Unless she thinks Harry is doing it."

James scoffed and said, "please, the way she fawned over him over the summer. She'll think that of her hero when Hermione stops believing in Lockhart."

"Thanks, I think," Harry said, giving his dad an odd look, trying to decide if that was supposed to make him feel better.

"Wonder why?" Lily asked, distracting herself. It's not like she could do anything about the twin's attitude.

"He's annoyed that Harry is getting that kind of attention," James snickered. "He's already jealous enough of Harry, now he's getting the credit for something he would have loved to be doing."

"That's awful," Lily yelped, looking ill at the thought, "you think a child would really go around petrifying people?"

"I wouldn't put it past him," Sirius agreed with his friend.

Lily still didn't seem so convinced, but as none of them really believed it was Malfoy, she didn't press the subject.

"Then he must hate everyone," Remus mocked.

"Somehow I think they could have managed without you," James snorted in disgust at this kid, he clearly needed his head deflated a bit. He may have also been speaking from a bit of past experience looking back on his own thoughts and deciding someone needed to deflate his own head a bit at that age.

"What boy complains about a girl bursting into their dorm?" Sirius asked, grinning wickedly.

"I wish I had complained more," Remus muttered in disgust, "maybe I wouldn't have walked in on so many scenes."

Sirius didn't even bother to look abashed.

Lily couldn't help but tense up with nerves, still unconvinced this bright little second year could accomplish such an advanced potion. Harry was fine of course, but what if he hadn't been the first to try it and he watched one of his friends get poisoned? She felt almost as protective of Harry's friends as her own son at this point, seeing all the trouble they got into just made that maternal feeling come out.

"And a Merry Christmas to her to," Sirius said, wrinkling up his nose in disgust.

"Wow," James said, going wide eyed, "I'd forgotten about Hedwig. She honestly hasn't come to see you since the beginning of term?"

"Nope," Harry said sadly, "which is why I enjoyed that gift so much."

"Well this can't be good," James groaned, good mood gone instantly.

"If they gave you another fifty pence, you'd have a whole pound!" Sirius said brightly.*

Harry gave an amused chuckle, but he was the only one who did.

"A toothpick?" Lily choked.

"Might as well have sent you nothing!" Remus scoffed in disgust.

"Honestly at some point I do wonder why they bother," Harry agreed with a sigh, considering their hatred for his owl it was a miracle any of them had gone near her to tie that up. It was a rhetorical statement though, and he wasn't really expecting a response.

"Oh, but there's more," James grumbled, reading on tersely.

"If only," Harry grumbled, then asked with genuine curiosity, "why doesn't Hogwarts allow that?"

Sirius said miserably, "oh trust me, I've asked. It's because the teachers have to go home at some point to, they do have lives outside of school like the students. There's not a lot of staff during the summer holidays, so they can't just let the student's wander around practically unattended."

"Still," Lily said miserably, "I would personally volunteer there if it meant kids like Harry had another option besides going home to an awful life like that."

All five of them stayed silent for a moment longer, Lily determining she would put some honest inquiries into this kind of situation. She now knew of three boys who would have done a lot not to go back to a 'home'. This matter needed to be addressed!

Shaking himself James forced himself to keep reading.

"I'm sure one of the teachers went to take it back home or something," Remus said, already having thought of that.

"But Harry never mentioned where he got it from, to anyone," James reminded.

"Well it can't be too difficult to figure out?" Sirius snorted, "it's not like anyone in the school got a howler about it."

"Well I never heard anything else about it," Harry shrugged, wondering why he thought that car was going to show up again later.

"Glad I could put that question to rest," Lily giggled, "it was really keeping me up at night."

"As often as he polishes that thing, he didn't notice," Remus asked, bemused.

"Why didn't we think of that?" James exclaimed, clapping a hand to his forehead.

"Because, you actually respected me," Remus said, frowning at both of his friends who were snickering, "his brothers clearly don't."

"Way to sink a joke Moony," Sirius said, only looking a bit ashamed.

"Bet it wasn't hand knitted though," Lily snapped.

"Exactly what was your plan again?" Remus asked curiously. "Turn into some Slytherins, get him to confess to you he'd been doing these awful things, and then what? Go to Dumbledore without any proof but your word against someone you publicly don't like?"

Harry was frowning at him as he said, "well when you put it like that it sounds ridiculous."

"How did you put it?" Sirius asked.

Harry opened his mouth, then closed it again, unable to stop himself going red in the face. When his Dad didn't keep reading, he finally said, "okay, fine. We didn't really have much of a plan past getting Malfoy to confess."

"Okay," James shrugged, "so long as you admit it."

Sirius nodded, saying, "at least you recognize that."

"Also a good point," James agreed.

"And you're just hoping they'll eat something handed to them by a pair of kids who hate them?" Remus demanded.

"Why are you questioning every little thing?" Harry grumped.

"If you don't ask all the questions, you won't have all the answers," James shrugged, "and you need all the answers when doing something like this."

"I'm both intrigued you boys put so much thought into your stunts, and still annoyed by it," Lily told them pleasantly.

"Oh that's even better," Remus amended his statement, "you're hoping Crabbe and Goyle will just eat food randomly lying around."

"Bet you that works though," James said, cracking a grin, "they seem thick enough," then he read curiously.

"You think Malfoy will find it odd if she joins in on this conversation?" Lily asked, joining in with the boys now, and still annoying Harry. "Do you know if she normally hangs around those three?"

Harry just huffed, he had no answer for that.

James broke off, to look at the book in disbelief, but read loudly before anyone could say anything.

"You've got to be kidding me," Sirius said, going wide eyed. "A student randomly came back for an hour, and then left again? Where do I even begin! Why-"

"Okay," Harry cut him off, "it was dumb, I get it."

They felt a little bad about making Harry so obviously upset by their questions, but then James nudged him and said, "Well good. That means you're learning your lesson. Hopefully next time you'll think of all these things yourself."

"How many times do you expect our son to go around doing this kind of thing?" Lily demanded.

Both Harry and James flushed and ignored her.

"At least Ron acknowledges it," Sirius muttered to Remus.

"I win," James crowed happily, "next time remind me to put money on that."

"No," Sirius said at once, "I'm not losing money to you again. I hate your stupid betting."

"He's just mad because he always loses," Remus answered Harry's confused look, then began laughing quietly.

"Wish I had a camera," Harry said, grinning now, "because that was funny."

'To bad Colin isn't following you around anymore then' James thought sadly, but decided against saying that, since it seemed a bit insensitive.

"Now you're thinking ahead," Sirius approved.

"Ah," Remus began uneasily, but Lily was beaming while saying, "it's supposed to do that. Merlin, I think she actually did it right."

"Here's hoping," James smiled.

"Good," Sirius nodded, "you did think about this in some ways."

"You lot are far too okay with this," Lily scoffed.

"Well since they're already doing it," James said with amusement, "might as well praise them for what they're doing right."

"And," Remus said quickly when it looked like Lily was going to snap at him, "make sure at least Harry knows why it was wrong."

Harry just smiled at them.

Lily nodded approvingly, but still wasn't going to be satisfied until Harry drank it first without a hitch.

"That's interesting," Sirius said, going bright eyed, "what would happen if you put different people's hair into the same cauldron?"

"Your body would try and turn into both of those people," Lily said grimly, "it is not pleasant."

"I find it fascinating you know that," James chuckled.

"Pleasant," Lily said in disgust.

"Was that not what was supposed to happen?" Harry asked in concern, misinterpreting his mother's look of disgust.

"No, it's supposed to change colours," Lily agreed, "the colour supposedly attributes to that person's personality. Example, a sick yellow makes her a bad type of person. Say the potion was a more pleasant yellow, like a daisy or something, that person would be more fun to have around. Some people have tried to do studies on it, but since no two people have the same colours, it's hard to pinpoint exactly."

Harry nodded in fascination, but then wondered why he had such a bad feeling about Hermione's potion?

"Pleasant," Sirius grumbled in disgust.

"Kind of want to make some now, just to see what colour mine would turn," James said, kind of amused now.

"Let me know how that works out," Remus muttered.

"Agreed," Lily giggled, "they don't even make those stalls big enough for the three of you honestly."

Harry nodded, glad Hermione had pointed that out since it had been a tight squeeze in there already.

Lily sighed as she said, "okay, Hermione officially has to be the smartest student, ever!"

"Kind of have to agree," Remus nodded.

"You're thinking she did the potion right without hearing about it?" Sirius asked, not disagreeing, just curious.

"Well if they all took it at the same time, and we know there couldn't have been any irreversible side effects since Harry's okay, then yes. Hermione did it right," Lily said.

"I don't know, potions isn't really that hard," James shrugged, "you just have to have the patience to follow the instructions as they're given. A first year could feasibly do a seventh year potion if they take the time to do it right."

"Oh really," Lily said scathingly, "so what's your excuse for doing so poorly in the class?" She was perhaps a little stung her husband was knocking her best subject.

Not seeming to notice this danger, James continued, "because we didn't care. Potions had little to no use to us."

Lily scowled at him, looking ready to fight back the importance and difficulty this class had, when Harry said loudly, "can we keep going? I want to hear about this."

Lily still looked a bit annoyed, but allowed James to keep going.

Lily nodded, looking relieved that this was still correct. The taste should be at least similar to what it looked like.

Sirius shuddered in disgust, deciding he wouldn't join James in his new project, but James asked, "does all Polyjuice Potion taste like that, or was it because Goyle's colour looked like overcooked cabbage."

"I thought it said Goyle's looked like a boogie?" Remus asked.

"Overcooked cabbage does look like boogies," Sirius grumbled.

Lily spoke loudly over them, and repeated the same information she had been thinking out loud, making Remus ask, "so what would an ugly yellow taste like?"

"How should I know?" Lily asked, "I told you no two look the same, same applies to the taste."

Sirius brightened at that, taking back his mental comment.

"You know what," Sirius said aloud this time, "you have fun with this one James. I'm out."

"You're no fun," James told him, pouting, "are you really telling me you wouldn't want to switch bodies for an hour? At least now we'd know what to expect."

Sirius did look a little more persuaded, but James knew he could bring this up again later, so he read.

"I was going to ask why you didn't do that closer to the Slytherin common room, to give you more time," Remus said, "but I guess now I know why."

"Wouldn't want to get caught either doing that, or falling on the ground like that," Sirius agreed.

"It was creepy," Harry said, "hearing someone else's voice instead of my own, and then Crabbe instead of Ron."

"It can be disorienting to get used to," Lily agreed.

"When have you taken it?" James demanded.

Lily smirked and said, "wouldn't you like to know?"

"Did you do it in school?" Sirius demanded.

"Of course not," Lily said, looking offended he would even ask that. "If I had, I wouldn't have been nearly as disapproving of Harry doing it."

"But we started dating in our seventh year," James said, now looking like he was about to start pouting, "so when would you have done something like this without telling me."

"Don't look so upset James," Lily rolled her eyes, "I was joking, I've never actually taken it."

James brightened up at once, even smiling now that he realized his Lily Flower had actually just pulled one over on him.

"The descriptions are my favourite part of this," Remus chuckled.

"You didn't figure out at least that before you started this!" James couldn't help but ask.

"All you'd have to do is slip on the cloak and follow any Slytherin down there," Sirius agreed, "that would have been the easiest part!"

Harry just sighed, deciding against arguing the point.

All five of them snickered in appreciation of Ron's wit this time.

"Ah, did anyone describe her voice as being high-pitched before?" Lily asked in concern.

"Well, we haven't even heard her speak yet," Sirius said, noting Harry's surprised look, so knowing that couldn't possibly be right. Then why did it work for Ron and Harry, but not Hermione?

All five of them looked genuinely concerned now. This whole plan had been Hermione's idea, for her to not be going now meant something really bad must have happened to her.

Even Lily couldn't imagine why though, since the potion had worked perfectly for two of them. Unless Hermione was some sort of half-breed, doubtful since there would have been signs of this, the potion should have worked for her as well.

"I'm sure she's okay," Harry said feeling frustrated he couldn't be more confident about this, "I knew something bad happened to her this year, but I think she's still fine..."

James gave him as reassuring a smile as he could muster, saying, "well I know first-hand Pomfrey can fix almost anything that goes wrong in that school. So, whatever odd side effect happened, she can fix it."

"Can't imagine what the problem is though," Remus sighed.

"Would the potion work on Muggles?" Sirius suddenly burst out loudly, his mind pushing around for something else to change the subject. "I know Hermione's not one obviously, I'm just curious."

"No one's ever tested it," Lily said, Sirius' idea seemed to have worked as she seemed distracted at once by this idea. "Obviously they would have to consent to the idea, which would entail they knew about magic. However, I would think not, since very many things that affect wizards don't affect Muggles in the same way. Hum, I do wonder..." she trailed off.

James smiled indulgently at her, then mouthed 'thank you' at Sirius for giving her yet another project she would probably like to start now. Sirius gave him a half mocking bow as a 'you're welcome'.

Remus gave a bursting laugh of appreciation.

The three boys smiled weakly, but until they knew what was wrong with Hermione they couldn't find too much humour in that.

"Good eye for detail," James approved.

Sirius sighed. Did Harry have any idea how much area there was in the dungeons below? And the Slytherin common room was behind a blank, obscure wall. If they didn't know where it was, there was a very good chance they'd never find it.

"Ouch," all five of them winced, another spot of bad luck.

"I'm not sure how well that could have passed anyways," James sighed, "you're second years, halfway through term. Any first year can find the way to their common room before the first month's up."

"I don't think even they're that thick," Sirius agreed.

Sirius opened his mouth, thought about it, then closed it again and said, "nah, too easy. Plus we've already been over this."

"Ge, thanks," Harry muttered.

"Wow, I really hope you didn't do all that for nothing," Remus winced.

"Percy?" They all asked in confusion. "What would he be doing down there?" James added.

"Maybe Prefect Percy isn't all that perfect?" Remus suggested.

Harry just shrugged, he had a vague feeling he knew the answer, but he had no real feelings towards the matter.

"Well he's not wrong," Lily winced, hating the idea of this horrid monster going anywhere near Harry, even if he was the one who kept hearing it. At least his father's status wouldn't make her boy a target. Then she felt guilty for thinking like this, since every other muggle born in the school was a target. She sighed, comforting herself that at least this monster's effects weren't permanent, and that Mandrake potion should be done before the end of the year.

"I think we should start calling him pompous Percy," James snorted.

"Is he really that delusional?" Remus asked, raising a brow in disbelief.

Harry nodded, wondering why the longer these books went on, the madder he got at Percy. Was it possible his behaviour got worse as he grew up?

"And last time I'm sure," Harry muttered.

"Which probably means it's dumb," Remus surmised.

"No one does," James agreed, "but yours is hardly any better."

"It was a nice thought though," Lily said.

"I would hope not," Sirius frowned, "if the teachers can't, I'd hardly think he could. He's what, a sixth year? He also puts plenty of respect into positions. No, Percy's up to something else."

"And he has been since the summer," Remus reminded them.

They all puzzled for a moment, but shrugged when they realized they were stumped. They just didn't know enough about Percy, and Harry certainly didn't go out of his way to spend time with him, so they most likely wouldn't figure it out at all.

"Well that's original," Lily muttered in disdain.

"It's usually something along those lines though," James huffed.

Lily went bug eyed as she looked at the three boys and snapped, "why would you know that? I never even knew that."

"Really?" Remus asked in surprise, "I would have thought you'd at least know where the Slytherin common room is."

"No," she said, now frowning at all of them, "I don't know where any of them are, except my own of course."

"For shame Lil's," Sirius said, shaking his head from side to side.

"We know where all of them are," James said, puffing his chest out with pride, "and we've a pretty good idea how to get into them as well. The Slytherin's have a password system, like ours, but it's not as random. It's more to do with their stereotypes, why I've no idea, but since I'm sure Snape sets it up same as McGonagall. That just says more about him than anything, Slughorn to for that matter. The Hufflepuff's are down by the kitchen, and you've got to do a series of taps on these barrels. That's harder to figure out, since it changes as often as ours does. The Ravenclaws are hardest of all, they do a riddle every stinking time a new person comes up."

"Remus was the only one who could ever figure those out," Sirius smirked.

Lily just kind of sat there, looking astounded at the lot of them. She couldn't decide if she was impressed they knew all of that, or annoyed since the houses weren't supposed to know about the other houses dorms. Finally, she went with impressed, since there was no good in nagging them about that now; so she asked, "What are they like then? And how did you get in without being caught by someone else from that house?"

Sirius opened his mouth to respond, but James cut him off saying, "tell us what the other founders supposedly did to the school, and we'll tell you."

Lily studied them for a moment, before saying, "think we should pick this up later then. We're getting off track, and I want to see what Malfoy has to say about all of this."

James gave her a knowing smile, but continued on all the same.

Harry however was disappointed his mum wouldn't play his dad's game. He really wanted to know both of those answers, since he himself felt like he should know them anyways!

Lily couldn't help but listen eagerly now. Despite how often she had got Sev to describe the common room to her, she would love to hear Harry's account of it.

"Please tell me you go into the dormitories," Remus said, going wide eyed with remembered glee. "That's the best part!"

"Why?" Lily asked suspiciously.

"Cause the walls are glass," Sirius nodded in agreement with Remus, "and you can see straight into the Lake. We only went into one of them, but I can't imagine why all of them wouldn't be like that."

"Almost, almost," James stressed, "rivals our view of the Quidditch pitch. It's pretty cool to see the mermaids just go swimming past you."

Harry shook his head as he sighed and said, "no, we only stay in their common room."

Lily couldn't help but feel a little envious now, suddenly wishing she really had taken a chance at some point and gone into the Slytherin common room.

"Sounds dark," Lily said in surprise.

"They like it like that," Sirius shrugged.

"Personally, I can see the pros of that, as opposed to the tower," Remus smiled.

"So we were right," James sighed, "it isn't going to be funny at all."

"Uh-oh," all five of them said at once. It had been long enough that if Ron hadn't come across this on his own yet, they had been really hoping he wouldn't be tied into this. Now James read with trepidation.

"Ouch," Lily winced in sympathy.

"Damn," Sirius let out a low, throaty whistle, "poor guy."

James huffed a bit as he kept going, not at all pleased someone like Arthur got into trouble. Yes, he shouldn't have broken the law in the first place, but it wasn't him that got caught either, it was the kids. If the boys hadn't taken the car, Arthur might have gotten away with it all together. Then he realized he couldn't hardly be mad at Harry and Ron, what they did was stupid but ignorant in their actions so they were hardly to blame either. Recognizing he couldn't do anything for it though, he continued.

"He's a governor," James spluttered in disgust.

"Well that explains how he knew those test scores," Remus grumbled.

"Oh this is just brilliant," Sirius snarled, "Death Eaters making decisions about children's school life. Whatever respect I had for the Ministry before is gone now."

"Ge, thanks Sirius," Lily said, frowning at him.

"You know being an Auror is technically working for the Ministry to," James pointed out.

Sirius rolled his eyes at the pair of them, saying, "okay, so not everyone in there is evil, but a Malfoy getting a job there still feels like an awful omen to life."

"I'm going to agree with Sirius on this one," Remus nodded.

The parents exchanged a look before nodding their agreement as well. Still disgruntled at this revelation, James read.

"He doesn't even have that kind of power," Lily snapped. "Arthur being the Head of a Department, only the Minister could fire him. Doing something like that is hardly worth being sacked over."

Harry was sinking lower and lower in his seat, still feeling guilty like this whole fiasco was his fault. James tried his best to comfort both of them, saying, "I'm sure he won't be. Just the Prophet stirring up trouble as usual."

All five of them growled in real anger at that now. Where did Malfoy get off deciding that! Taking a deep breath, James now felt a twisting pain in his gut as he forced himself to pay attention to the words.

"A very real threat I'm sure," Remus grimly smiled.

"Here I thought his sense of humour wasn't even this awful," Sirius hissed, "who would find that funny!"

"He really is as awful as his father," James agreed.

"What, like a decent human?" Lily snapped.

The four of them cracked grins at that, happy Ron had an excuse like that on hand, and it was believable enough if the implications of how much Crabbe and Goyle ate were anything to go by. It really wouldn't be good for anyone if the boys were discovered doing this.

"Now that's surprising," Lily said, quirking a brow.

"You can keep anything hushed up with a bit of money," Sirius laughed.

Lily frowned at him, she didn't find this funny one bit, but she also knew by now that Sirius simply deflected bad things with bad humour.

"Doubtful," James muttered, having absolute faith no one could remove Dumbledore.

Remus was red in the face with anger by this point. Dumbledore was the reason he had been allowed to go school, how dare this child say anyone shouldn't have that right!

Sirius balled up his fists in fury as he growled, "and I wish he wouldn't let your kind in!"

"You do know that means us," James pointed out sadly.

"I meant the way he's acting you git," Sirius huffed.

"What, should we start giving them personality tests before they can attend now?" Lily asked, a smile twitching across her face now.

Remus burst out laughing, causing Sirius to mumble something about being ganged up on, but they all felt a little better at the random messing around.

Harry bit at his lip, a question popping into his mind, and before he could decide to brush it away his dad caught sight and said, "come on Harry, what was that?"

Harry meant to deny it, his eyes flickering almost shamefully to Remus, but when he caught sight as well he gave him an easy smile and said, "go on, I can promise I've heard it before, and I know you don't mean it."

Still unable to untense his shoulders, he uneasily voiced, "well, you said that everyone who's born magical is automatically let in."

"Right," Remus egged him on when Harry still looked like he wanted to waver off.

"Well, you also mentioned before that Dumbledore was the only Headmaster who would let you come to school, but I mean, how could any headmaster stop you?" Harry finished in a rush. He hated saying anything like that about Remus, but they'd asked for it.

Remus sighed as he looked pityingly at Harry, but he knew he'd always prefer him to look upset at the question rather than fearful, so he answered with as much dignity as he could muster, "it's illegal for me to be around children. It's technically illegal for me to even be here," he finished with a guilty look towards the stairs, "but when Dumbledore set it up for me, I'm sure he and all the teachers never mentioned it to the Ministry-"

"Just like no one's going to talk about you being here like that," Sirius finished with a terrifying look on his face. He would happily curse anyone into oblivion if they said otherwise about Remus going wherever he wanted to.

Harry nodded in understanding, that was all the answer he needed.

All five of them were furious by this point. The kid was a bit of an annoyance, but Malfoy's mocking was beyond uncalled for.

"I would think so," James spat, "or it's just not funny!"

"What do you call them Harry?" Lily asked, "Malfoy's cronies. That's accurate enough, since they probably don't have a mind of their own."

The boys snickered a bit at that.

James read with gritted teeth, making the rest of the sentence almost unrecognizable.

"How many times can he say that before Dad really does curse him?" Harry asked his mom quietly.

"I won't let him curse a child," Lily sighed, looking rather upset at this fact more than anything, "but in answer, not much more."

The present Marauders were all talking in hushed, quiet voices, and the other two really didn't want to know what they were talking about; knowing full well it wasn't anything good. Once James seemed to have vented enough he read on a little more intelligibly.

Remus let out a dissatisfied huff, which his friends immediately noticed.

"What was that?" Sirius asked, "I thought we all agreed much earlier it wasn't possible a second year to be doing this."

Remus hesitated for a moment before finally admitting to the others what he thought was really going on. "The only creature who could possibly be able to petrify people like this, I thought, was a Gorgon...but what if it's something else. Something that no one has ever tested, because it's just so bloody dangerous no one has ever even seen one in hundreds of years."

"Quit beating around the bush Moony," Sirius grumbled, not exactly the patient one.

Remus sucked in a deep breath before finally saying, "it's something only Harry might be able to hear, at least it would explain why no one around could hear it as well. It's something only Slytherin could control, the snake tongue! I think the monster creeping around is a Basilisk."

There was a very long pause after this before Lily asked weakly, "but, those things kill by looking, why hasn't anyone died?"

"I, well I am guessing here, but I think it's because no one has looked it in the eye yet." He began, still looking hesitant, but then he continued explaining all of the circumstances and no one corrected him, but simply sat there in another long drawn out moment of silence. No one had even recovered yet to give their opinion on if they believed him or not before Harry said, "that's it!"

Remus smiled over at him, pleased he had worked this out, but then hesitated again and said, "my only problem is, who could be pulling these stunts off, aside from you. Parselmouths aren't very common, but it wouldn't have surprised me if perhaps Malfoy had been doing this all along, simply hiding his ability, but now it's obvious he's not..." he trailed off in frustration.

"Plus," James agreed, "no offense Moony, but really none of the teachers at the school thought of this either?"

"Um, thanks," he muttered.

"And how is something like that even getting around?" Sirius demanded. "Surely that snake's not exactly subtle."

"That," Remus shrugged, "I've no idea."

"Well, at least as far as James' concern, it is a bit far-fetched. I agree with Remus because I can't even think of anything else," Lily shrugged.

"Thanks, I think," Remus snorted.

Harry was kneading his brow, but looked a little less miserable as he admitted he had no answer. Malfoy's answer, while not unsurprising, was still disappointing. Harry however smiled again almost at once, saying that at least they were on the right track.

Sirius gave a surprised snort of mirth at that description.

"I'd be astounded if he did," Remus frowned, "since I can't think of anyone."

"That sounded almost pig-headed," James told him with a smile.

Remus just grinned and shrugged.

"Fifty years," Sirius said, going cross eyed as he imagined that far back, "well that doesn't help at all. Why wouldn't we have heard of it though? It wasn't so long ago that we shouldn't have heard of this."

"Maybe it got hushed up as well?" Lily suggested. "If this same thing happened fifty years ago, and they were all simply woken up in the same way, but nothing further happened..." she trailed off in frustration at the unlikeliness of this.

Remus was shaking his head fast, saying, "this exact set of circumstances, happening fifty years previously? I'm still blasted how no one's died yet. Thankful, but still."

Still confused but pleased that they had found out something from this little misadventure, James hoped Harry would get out of there quickly now. The hour must be almost up, and they had learned everything they could from Malfoy. Plus, being around the kid just kind of pissed him off.

Lily didn't look happy that she had been at least semi right about that, but James didn't pause again.

"Do what?" All five of them said in surprise, their shock for once bypassing the outrage at the use of that word.

"Now there's no way that could be kept quiet," Remus said, "surely someone would have looked into a student dying at school?"

They all exchanged very uneasy looks, not exactly reassured that something like a murder was hidden in the Hogwarts school history.

"Who the bloody hell hopes someone dies!" James said quietly, he seemed beyond rage at this point.

No one had an answer for him. At James question, they had all thought of a certain three Dursleys, who they may not have batted an eye if they died. However, the main difference there was that they were abusive people! Hermione hadn't done a thing wrong to anyone, let alone Malfoy. For a child to wish another kid dead like that was pretty dang awful.

"But oh so sweet," Sirius sighed. "Honestly, you could just punch him and run for it, and no one would have any idea what happened! You wouldn't even get in trouble for it!"

Lily opened then closed her mouth before shaking her head in disbelief, but since she knew full well Harry wouldn't allow his friend to do that, at least she hoped, she said nothing.

"Still can't believe I've never heard of that," Sirius shrugged.

"Well since you're clearly on your way there," James grinned, throwing a look at Lily, "you can ask him while you're there."

"That's not funny James," Lily snapped, "and I wasn't joking!"

"What, you going to turn me in?" Sirius smirked, now right in with his friend on picking on Lily for her earlier exclamation.

Lily narrowed her eyes dangerously at him before muttering something under her breath. Remus was the only one who wasn't exactly reassured that Lily hadn't answered, but since the other boys just started laughing he chose to say nothing.

James rolled his eyes, now knowing Malfoy's sense of humour was as bad as it got, as if he needed confirmation.

James didn't break off again, but he was mentally wondering what the odds were that he would get two chapters where Malfoy constantly said that word!

"Wish they had bloody arrested him while they were at it," Sirius huffed.

"Hope it wasn't too difficult for you," James said, still more amused than anything by Harry.

"And there Ron goes," Remus said, tossing his hands in the air in frustration, "cutting people off when I'd have liked to hear the end of that sentence!"

"Yeah, which drawing-room?" Sirius agreed. "As big as that stupid mansion is, I'd have liked more details."

Harry shrugged, knowing there was nothing more they could do for it now. He also had a very firm feeling that they told Mr. Weasley about this, and hoped that this would help redeem him at the Ministry a bit.

"Time's up," Lily said, going slightly paler as she realized Harry must not be looking at his watch anymore.

"I don't know Lily," Sirius mocked, "are you sure Ron just doesn't blush so much his whole body turns red."

"You two are both awful," Remus cut in before anyone could respond, giving James a chance to keep reading.

Remus verbally praised Harry for that, saying, "it was good of you to set that up before."

Harry smiled at him, deciding against mentioning they'd hardly done that on purpose.

James suddenly burst out laughing as he said, "just picturing someone watching that as they went by, it would have been a sight."

Sirius grinned as well, unable to deny that, though severally hoping no one had seen that, as it would make it all the harder for Harry and Ron to be 'innocent' of whatever Malfoy might have seen that night.

"Well that was polite," Lily grinned, despite her disapproval of Harry's actions, she couldn't deny she was rather impressed with the way he acted during all of this as well.

"Agreed," Sirius nodded, "we do know more now than we did before."

James got an uneasy look on his face as he said, "ah, is that really the best idea? Why does Ron know this information? Does Ron really want his dad to go after the Malfoys like that, without some more solid proof?"

At Harry's rather hurt look, James quickly said, "obviously I know he's telling the truth, I'm just saying it might not be the best idea in the world."

Lily smiled approvingly at him, pleased James actually did think things through every once in awhile. Harry however had no real answer for him and just shrugged, never having checked what Ron told his dad about this.

"Not good," Lily frowned, "very not good."

"Why wouldn't Hermione be okay now?" Harry demanded.

They exchanged uneasy looks, not really being able to think of an answer to that.

"I'll back up that not good," Sirius agreed grimly.

"I don't think she ever turned into Millicent," Lily sighed, "I'm just not sure what she did turn into."

"Clearly nothing good," Remus muttered.

"Fur?" Remus asked in concern.

"Oh, did she somehow get hold of an animal's hair?" Lily yelped in shock.

"Yes," Harry said in excitement, which faded at once when he realized he had no idea how or why. Bloody hell, Hermione was about to explain it in just a second and his stupid memories still wouldn't show him?! Still, he asked his mom, "err, that's what would happen right?"

"Just about," Lily agreed sadly, "some people have tried using the Polyjuice Potion for temporary animal transformation, instead of doing it properly by becoming Animagi, and the end results is they get stuck halfway between an animal and a person."

"But it's reversible right?" Sirius asked in concern, thankful none of them had ever thought of that tactic.

"Yes," Lily nodded, "there are a few potions and spells you would have to take to help reverse the process, but it's slow going. It will take a while before she's back to normal."

Harry relaxed, sure that if this was the bad thing he remembered about Hermione this year, this didn't seem all bad since it would wear off by the end of school...right? This was the bad thing that happened to her, wasn't it?

"I do feel bad for her," Remus winced, "after all, this was her idea. Yet she was the one who got these awful problems."

"Guess we finally found the one way to cheer Myrtle up," Sirius added, ignoring Remus shooting him an irritated look for that.

"This is exactly why to," James nodded.

"There's the plus side," Sirius cried happily as he took the book from James, "having a tail is quite the experience."

* * *

*Yes, two fifty pence pieces actually do equal a pound in British money, I had to double check that fact before I said that since I don't know British currency that well, so just in case anybody else was wondering...there you go.


	13. THE VERY SECRET DIARY

To a comment made by a reader regarding that Remus figured it out and seems a little pompous for not really thinking he was wrong, Harry did confirm not moments after he said it that Remus was right, so he has no reason to think he's wrong.

* * *

"Well that chapter wasn't so awful," Sirius said happily, "poor Hermione, but they did learn some new stuff."

"Let's hope that's all Harry learns this year," Lily sighed, "because the last time he figured everything out, he went after it."

"Look on the bright side," Remus shrugged, "if I'm right, then Harry won't be in too much danger from a giant snake."

"What about who's controlling the snake? Or the death eyes!" She exclaimed.

Remus opened, then closed his mouth before saying, "okay, yeah. No snake chasing this year."

"This year?" James asked, but Sirius was no longer listening.

"Which I would hope would make them all realize how ridiculous Harry being the heir is," Remus huffed. "He hangs around with a Muggle Born! Why would he go around attacking them again?"

"Oh I don't know," Sirius shrugged, "I'm sure if three muggles in particular came around he just might set a basilisk on them."

Harry pursed his lips, humour in his eyes at Sirius' joke, but not confirming either way what he would do. Probably not, he mentally reasoned.

Lily wanted to change the subject, so instead asked, "what did Hermione even tell her happened? They didn't use the bit by a dog excuse again did they?"

Harry laughed, but said, "she blamed it on Ron, he was practicing some transfiguration and a spell went wrong with that broken wand. Madam Pomfrey didn't turn him in, thankfully."

"She's usually pretty good about that," Remus chuckled.

"Well that was sweet," James grinned.

"I thought that was my line," Lily smirked at him.

"Hey, I'm not heartless," James defended, "no one wants to be gawked at in the hospital wing."

"Why am I not surprised?" Sirius chuckled. "Most kids would take turning into a cat an excuse to skip homework. She requested it!"

"Hermione could have probably taken a break for the rest of the year and still been good to go, "James snickered.

Harry frowned at his dad, wondering why that joke felt off to him.

Sirius opened, then closed his mouth, ignoring the others who were giggling at him mimicking Ron, again. Then he shrugged, feeling rather amused himself.

"Did she still have the tail?" James asked curiously.

"No, that was one of the first things to go," Harry said, pretending to be upset by the fact.

"Aw, does Hermione have another friend around we don't know about?" Lily asked.

"No," Harry smirked, wondering why he had an annoyed feeling about this card.

"Well that was, nice," James began hesitantly.

"Wait for it," Sirius muttered before reading.

Remus wrinkled up his nose in disgust as he said, "so, of the forty or so words that were in that letter, I would say only five of those were actual genuine concern about Hermione. The rest was simply his own big-headed signature."

"Niceness gone," James agreed.

"And she slept with that thing?" Lily asked in disgust. "I can't believe she still hasn't wised up to him."

"She didn't sleep with it," Harry said, "I think she got it just before we came in, and she was trying to keep it out of our sight, because she knew we'd mock her for it."

"Are you guessing that," Sirius asked, "or did you ask her that?"

"I asked her that when Ron wasn't around," Harry shrugged, at this point even he hadn't quite understood how Hermione could still be so dense about Lockhart. His friend still wouldn't admit the new teacher was a fraud, but she wasn't going around making note of when his classes were either.

Lily made a choking sort of noise, while Sirius gave her a superior look saying, "so what's it say about us that we both mimicked the same kid."

Lily gave him a disgusted look, causing the other three boys to laugh all the harder.

"Don't answer that Lily, no one cares," Sirius said without looking up.

Lily leaned back, huffing a bit.

"At least you stayed out of sight," Remus grinned.

"I don't get why you went to go see what he was shouting about at all?" Lily asked.

"Curiosity," James shrugged.

"I would hope not," Sirius shivered, "at least I would hope Filch wouldn't be shouting about it like that. Surely the man would go and get a teacher instead of standing around."

"Well you tell us," James snapped.

"Okay, a student just made a mess," Remus said, relaxing back at once.

"I almost feel bad for Dumbledore," Sirius said, shaking his head in disbelief, "how often does Filch go to him complaining about having to do his job?"

"Because that's done you so much good before," Remus sighed, rolling his eyes, thinking back to the other two times Harry had been caught there.

Lily suddenly froze, and went wide eyed as something new occurred to her. The others noticed this, and before she could deny it Sirius snapped, "nope, we saw that. Tell us what you noticed. What about that gave you a clue as to who's doing this?"

"Not that," Lily shook her head, looking frustrated. "I've just realized that Moaning Myrtle might not have been exaggerating to you guys!"

Harry jolted slightly before he settled and gave his mum a brilliant smile, saying, "you're absolutely right." That was indeed a settling feeling of a memory returning.

The others went quite, before James said slowly, "she said she was killed by looking someone in the eye. You think she meant..."

"A basilisk killed her fifty years ago?" Remus breathed.

"Wow, kind of feel like an arse now for making fun of her," Sirius said.

"That still doesn't help us much though," James sighed, "since she obviously doesn't know who set the snake on her. Good on ya Lil, I didn't put that together at all."

Lily smirked at them, saying, "see, I pay attention to you jerks."

"Wow, sincerely thank you," Sirius laughed, rolling his eyes.

"Surprised she's only done that twice this year," Lily rolled her eyes.

"She might have done it more, and Harry just hasn't come around to see it," Remus suggested.

"Who would throw something at her?" Lily asked, annoyed at once. "As if she doesn't already have enough issues."

"How can she move the water around like that?" Harry asked in surprise.

"Ghosts can minorly control inanimate objects around them," Sirius shrugged. "Normally not enough to do anything more than say, move water around a few feet."

"She's been doing this for years to," Lily added on, "so perhaps she can do this better than most other ghosts."

"That's kind of cool," Harry grinned, though he still understood their earlier reasons why it would kind of be boring to be a ghost.

"Why would that be funny?" James asked. "It would just pass right through her, and make her cry some more?"

The other three all shrugged, having no idea what so ever. Harry however was feeling rather upset again. Not for Myrtle, but for the book. What could be so important about a book though that he would have a feeling about it?

"For some reason we never thought of that," Sirius said, grinning.

"Because it's mean," Lily snapped, "who would torment the ghosts like that?"

"He said we never did it," Remus said in defence of his friend, causing Lily to back down at once.

"Oh, so no one threw it at her," James reasoned, "they were trying to flush the book."

"Why would someone flush a book?" Remus asked.

"Probably a Lockhart book," Sirius muttered, "that I would understand."

"He's got a point," Lily nodded at once.

"A book?" Harry scoffed.

"Well, since you're in Hogwarts, it shouldn't be," Remus said uneasily, "but then again, that's not a book I recognize. So it could be dangerous on principle."

"A book!" Harry demanded again.

"Well yeah," Sirius smiled, "books are the reason no one ever wants to learn. Who sits around staring at words all day?"

James opened his mouth to both point out why Sirius was being an idiot right now, and explain more thoroughly to Harry what Ron meant, but Sirius was no longer listening, and read on anyway.

"I kind of wanted him to keep going," Sirius said a little disappointed, "I could have used those as excuses next time someone asked me to read another book."

"My excuse for this book is it's the most entertaining, and depressing thing ever," James said, smiling at Harry.

"A book that causes an emotional roller coaster," Remus nodded. "Yeah, I'll agree with that."

Lily huffed, wishing Harry would have taken his friend more serious, but there was nothing for it now.

"Convenient," James said at once, drawing the word far past its normal syllable count.

"I don't like that book," Lily agreed at once.

"Why not?" Harry asked, not disagreeing, just curious if they were thinking the same thing as him.

"What are the odd's you would find a book someone tried to flush away, that marks the same time frame as when the last attack happened?" Remus demanded. "No, they're right. I don't want you anywhere near that book."

"Now I really want to know who tried to get rid of it," Sirius said, brow crinkling, "and why?"

Harry was twitching something awful. This book was very important, but he had no more idea than any of them, something he would never not be frustrated about.

Harry shivered in disgust, knowing there was a significance to that name.

Sirius' eyes went vacant for a moment, then he shrugged and asked, "anyone we might know?"

James asked, pondering it, "I feel like I know that name for some stupid reason, but not personally. Like I read it somewhere..."

Sirius decided to just keep reading, hoping someone like Hermione might know it.

"That was it," James popped his head.

"We had to polish that stupid trophy all the time," Sirius agreed.

"Then you know who it is?" Lilly asked excitedly.

"Nope," Remus said, popping the P. "Just his name. Same as we know who Uric the Oddball is without actually knowing who he is. Just a name we were forced to learn all those years ago."

"I think you guys are missing the point," Harry said, looking like he was going to start rubbing his temple again. He stayed his hand, but only just as he continued, "what if Riddle got that award for getting rid of the heir of Slytherin?" The moment he let those words escape his mouth he knew they were wrong...but what else could it be?

Remus rolled that idea around for a moment before saying, "I suppose, but I still can't believe something like this isn't more publicly known. I've never heard of anyone being murdered at the school at all, let alone a student figuring out who did it."

"I'm still saying someone was payed to hush the whole thing up," Sirius huffed.

"What kind of special services though?" James asked, he'd never really looked into the idea.

"I'm sure Harry will go looking into this, since he was the one who brought it up," Sirius shrugged.

Lily deflated, hoping very much this wasn't going to turn into anything to awful.

"Only fifty?" Sirius scoffed, "he got off easy then."

"That doesn't mean the books empty," Lily said grimly.

"Invisible ink?" Harry asked.

"Or something worse," Remus sighed, "I still don't like that someone tried to throw it away."

"Or at least a half-blood," Remus shrugged.

"I could buy something from a muggle shop if I wanted," James disagreed.

"But you wouldn't normally," Sirius disagreed.

"What's the point of this then?" Lily interrupted there squabble. None of the boys actually had an answer to that, they just enjoyed picking at each other.

James couldn't help but snort with mirth, but quailed at once at the look Lily gave him.

All of them huffed, the group of four not happy Harry was now carrying around some strange object, Harry because he just knew there was a significance here he couldn't find.

"Wow, she was in there for a month," James said in surprise.

"Could have been worse," Remus said, mouth twitching, "she could have been stuck looking like a cat forever."

"So glad you guys find that funny," Lily sniffed.

"Why didn't you show it to her in the hospital?" Sirius asked.

"Didn't want Madam Pomfrey seeing it," Harry shrugged.

"I keep forgetting you don't sneak around there like we did," James laughed.

Harry went bug eyed and made a choking sort of noise, but when asked why no one was surprised when he couldn't answer. They all guessed Harry just hadn't found the joke funny.

"You mean Ron really hadn't worked that out yet?" Lily asked in disbelief.

"Guess Ron doesn't read as much into the small details," James shrugged.

Harry nodded to himself, he supposed that's why this exact question had slipped out of his mouth earlier, though he still knew deep down that this wasn't correct.

"That's stretching it just a bit," Sirius disagreed, "just because the guy found out who murdered Myrtle doesn't mean he knows all the details."

"And it still doesn't explain who had the book this year, to want it gone in the first place," James nodded.

The three old pranksters cracked smiles at this, remembering full well what a bit of parchment could do to you if you tried to reveal its secrets without the proper spell. Curious enough, they waited to hear what this little diary would do.

"That was tame," Sirius snorted.

"What's that?" Lily asked.

"Nothing Lily," James said, smiling at the pair of them. Lily was giving Sirius a loaded look, clearly knowing that wasn't nothing.

"That still might not work," Remus said in a sing song voice, continuing in more normal tones, "some things are enchanted so that unless you do something very specific, it won't react."

"Know a bit about this do you?" Lily asked, her tone implying she knew the answer was yes.

Sirius didn't give his friend a chance to answer.

"Now that I doubt," James shrugged, "why would he put his name in it, and someone try and destroy it, without it being some sort of valuable."

"Good instincts," Sirius grinned.

At this the four of them began to tense up, though stayed silent for a bit longer.

"Well that's not good," Remus said, fidgeting at once.

"And I didn't like this book before," James shook his head. "I'm really going to hate it if it has some kind of enchantment on you now."

Harry sighed, he had the same feeling about Riddle's name now, without the friend part.

"And we're right back to the depressing," Sirius muttered in disgust as he flipped the page.

"Gotta agree with him there," James laughed, "if you get detention in a place, you hardly ever hurry back."

"To be fair, Sirius did just then to," Lily snickered.

"I think Harry found the same kind of best friend I did," James beamed, "so I'm not saying a word."

"Good," Lily sighed, "and I'm going to make a vague suggestion to the school they should carry that at all times now."

"How often do you plan on the kids in that school getting petrified?" Remus demanded.

"I'd still be happier with it on hand," Lily shrugged.

"Possible," Remus shrugged, "in fact I wouldn't be too surprised at this point. Whoever's been doing this has got to be getting paranoid. Since all of the victims have had miraculous slips from death, they may be getting paranoid that someone's on to them."

"I don't disagree," James nodded, "but I'm still hoping someone figures this crap out before the year's up. I really don't want this cropping up again."

"I'll agree to that," Lily nodded, while privately adding she still hoped it wasn't Harry who would be doing the figuring out.

"Yes, because the amount of stupid that is makes all the since in the world," Sirius grumbled.

"I still hate that Poltergeist," Lily hissed.

"I'll admit, as of right now I'm not his biggest fan," James shrugged. He liked a good joke at the expense of someone else, but this continued picking on his son wasn't what he had in mind.

All five of them groaned in disgust, no one looking forward to hearing more of his prattling again. They had been quite enjoying his absences thus far.

"I'm not even going to start on that stupidity," Remus huffed, "I'll be here for an hour."

"Thanks, I genuinely appreciate it," Sirius grinned, "I think he talks about himself more than enough, we don't need to add on by talking about him as well."

"I'm scared," Lily said honestly. "I am truly terrified what that glorified idiot is planning."

"You won't have long to find out," Harry guessed, just as grumpy as his mother on this one.

James covered up his face in trepidation of what this could mean, nothing good he was sure.

Sirius' nose began crinkling up in disgust the moment he read that,

and by the time he was done with the colourful sentences he looked likely to vomit.

"The worst part is you're not kidding," Remus moaned.

"It's not a bad idea actually," Lily giggled, "I think the school should indulge in Valentine's Day more often."

"You're endorsing his idea!" James spluttered.

Lily shrugged, simply saying, "it's not that bad honestly. We celebrate most other holidays."

"Yes, but this is just torture," Sirius groaned, "can you imagine yet another holiday we would have felt obligated to buy gifts for the girls in that school."

"Leave it to you to turn a holiday about love into some money grubbing bit," Lily grumbled.

"More horror," James muttered.

"Now there's an idea," Sirius said, going bright eyed at that description.

"Enough Sirius," Lily said, her good mood still lingering enough her voice wasn't nearly as snappy as usual.

"Wow," Remus said in surprise, "I can't believe Lockhart would have doled out the money for this."

"I heard Professor Flitwick mention it later," Harry shrugged, "apparently they were paid by someone else, and sent to Lockhart beforehand. Flitwick had no idea who though, just that Dumbledore had cleared this idea."

"Dumbledore just lost some points in my book," James grumbled.

"You know I might actually pay just to see that," Sirius snickered.

"Now there's a death wish," Remus laughed.

Lily huffed, "yes, but why would you say it like that. He would never teach a student for these kinds of purposes."

"Just his fat mouth running as usual," James shrugged.

Remus nodded, that had been about what he was picturing as well.

"Ugh," Sirius groaned, "I don't care how advanced in Potions she is, I still say she's being an idiot this year."

"Agreed," Lily nodded.

Sirius gave her a look of surprise, and she shrugged saying, "what? Even idiots have to be right sometimes."

"You really know how to dish out the compliments," he snorted.

"Okay, I can see why the teachers wouldn't like that," Lily nodded.

"I can see why the students would like that," James grinned.

"Uh-oh," Remus said, lips twitching.

"Can't imagine why a student in the school would send Harry something like that," James said with a grin.

"I can," Sirius cackled.

"You are all awful," Lily told them primly.

Sirius was unable to control his voice, it kept breaking off so that he could chuckle. Ignoring Harry's dirty looks being sent his way, he continued in the same manner.

"Ouch," Remus said, grin still firmly in place, "I'm sure when Ginny sent that she didn't intend to be around to see it. Kind of made it all the more obvious."

"You think Ginny sent that?" Lily asked, "I can picture any number of girls in that school sending a letter to the famous Harry Potter."

"Can we please change the subject," Harry groaned, face now in his hands. It was quickly growing as red as it was back then.

"Can't, sorry Harry," Sirius said without any kind of remorse.

James finally lost it, leaning back into the couch and clutching his sides in pain as he ran out of air. Between gasping breaths he brokenly said, "threatening-harp!" at least that's as much as the others made out.

"I am so glad you're enjoying this, really I am," Harry said waspishly, though the effect was ruined since he still had his face in his hands.

Lily patted him on the shoulder in sympathy saying, "he's probably laughing at all of his failed attempts to ask me out, and projecting them on you."

His two friends began laughing anew at this, while James finally settled down into sensible sentences again; now pouting at Lily as he said, "that was just cold."

Lily just smirked at him, then turned on Sirius and snapped, "if you don't keep reading, I'm going to take that away from you."

Sirius clutched the book to his chest possessively, then decided to keep going in fear of Lily's threat. While he did, Lily appraised Remus, now trying to think of how best to shut him up next.

"All the more witnesses," Remus muttered to Sirius quietly, giving him another moment to start snickering again, but at the cold look from two pairs of green eyes, he went on himself this time.

"Oh boy," James muttered, forcing a twitching smile from his face. This scene just kept getting better and better. Aloud he said, "you know Lily, I think you're right. I want the school to celebrate Valentine's Day more."

Harry didn't even deign to react to his father this time.

and Sirius actually began to sing; Then promptly collapsed into fresh waves of laughter.

Lily was momentarily distracted by noting that, 'Dark Lord' bit. As far as she knew, only Death Eater's called Voldemort that, so where on Earth would Ginny have come across that word? Could it possibly be a prank from, say, Malfoy? She had no real idea, so out loud she said, "I am so sorry Harry," Lily sighed, looking around at all of the boys in disdain. "Remind me and I'll be more than happy to tell you about the time these three boys got caught stuck to the ceiling of-"

"Okay," James said, straightening at once, all humour gone from his face, "you've made your point. No more mocking Harry. I'm all for that."

Harry, his own eyes now shining with mirth, replied, "I want to hear this. It only seems fair."

Lily beamed at her son, and Sirius, now red in the face for a completely different reason, read on swiftly.

"That might have worked if you hadn't made such a scene about getting away," Remus said, still unable to totally wipe the grin from his face. This was hands down the best chapter they'd had so far.

"He could have done that when he arrived," Lily huffed to herself.

"Prick," James smirked, his joyful nature still not dampened quite yet.

Sirius gave another amused chuckle at that, saying, "like Harry would write in a diary."

"Why?" Remus asked. "You'd think she would have run off after her valentine had ended."

Harry was now straining for another reason, his family's amusement at his personal embarrassment gone at once. Ginny wasn't looking at Malfoy, but the book. Something about Ginny, something really important to do with her this year. Ginny and that diary...

Lily noted the other boys must not have read into the actual words of that Valentine like she had, and with no real ideas on the actual matter and not wanting to be the one to linger on the subject, she chose not to say anything and hoped to just let it go.

Sirius kept reading when no one answered Remus, ending Harry's train of thought at once.

"Go on then," James scoffed, "Harry was in the right then."

"Percy is such a bore," Sirius grumbled, "any good Prefect knows when to let the small things slide."

"Thanks, I think," Remus said, looking at Sirius in a puzzled sort of way, unable to decide if that was a compliment at him or not.

Sirius declined answering.

Lily blinked in surprise, her only real suspect seemed to have just stated it wasn't him. Then again, he could have just been deflecting...really unless Harry got another bout of Polyjuice Potion to ask him and even then she may never really get an answer.

"That was uncalled for," Harry snapped.

"I wish you had snapped at him then," Sirius sighed as he saw what Ginny's reaction was fixing to be.

"The poor girl," Lily sighed.

"Would have been worth it, again," Remus sighed.

"Well this can't be good," James said, frowning, his good mood finally getting a damper. He'd had a bad feeling about this book since Harry had found it, now Harry had finally found something odd about the book himself.

"It ah-" Remus began, but Sirius cut him off by continuing to read. He was just as curious as his friend, but had a pretty good idea they couldn't actually guess what was up with this.

Lily let out a surprised giggle as she said, "well, guess that makes it even more of a good thing he hadn't cursed Malfoy."

"When is not cursing a Malfoy ever a good idea?" James demanded.

"Why do they know that song?" James asked in surprise. "They weren't around when it happened?"

"I'm sure Harry's particular valentine spread about like wild fire," Remus grinned.

Lily however couldn't help but wonder if it wasn't the twin's themselves who could have sent it to Harry. Being pureblood, it wasn't out of the realm of possibility that they knew Death Eater's called Voldemort the Dark Lord. They had the motive of just wanting to do it to prank someone for the fun of it, but again she had a feeling she was never going to get a full answer and still didn't say anything out loud.

"I'm guessing this isn't normal then?" Harry asked at the perturbed look on everyone's face.

"It's not too hard to make a book absorb ink," James began, "helps clean it when stuff like this happens."

"So why do you guys all look so freaked out?" Harry asked.

"Because the books still creepy," Sirius told him, "and now you might have figured out how to work it. We really don't want you to figure out how to work it, because that could lead you in another direction of bad."

"That's putting it lightly," Lily snorted, "but it got the point across."

"Yep," Remus sighed, "Harry figured out how to work it."

"Well this could be a good thing," James said uneasily, "maybe Hermione was right, and Riddle just put in what happened, and that's all Harry's going to figure out."

"Why would he hide that?" Lily asked.

"We've been over this Lily," Sirius snorted. "No one wanted whatever's going on to get out to the general public. This kid obviously disagreed, so he recorded it secretly. Now I really am kind of happy Harry's going to figure this out."

"You're a bad influence," Lily muttered.

"That, is creepy," Sirius said, taking back his earlier words at once.

"What did you think was going to happen?" Harry asked, since Sirius had just been happy a moment ago, he didn't get the opposite reaction now.

"For the ink to make words appear, telling you what happened. Not for the book to start talking to you!" Sirius said, going a little bug eyed at the end.

"This is bad. This is very not good," Remus said, getting a little jittery now.

Harry opened his mouth to demand to know what was so bad, but his dad cut him off.

"Harry," James began, then cut himself off as he realized, once again, no one would have had this kind of talk with his son. Forcing himself to ignore the ever lingering hurt of that realization, he began again, "Okay, the reason this is so bad is that, magical items shouldn't talk to you. They're objects, and any time they grow a mind of their their own, that means that the most powerful of enchantments have been embedded in them. While this can have its uses, unless you know who exactly did this, and for what purpose, it can be extremely dangerous to go poking around this kind of stuff."

"What about the magical paintings, or even that magical mirror that called me scruffy." Harry probed, still not getting the dissimilarities the others clearly have.

Sirius happily explained the difference, "the paintings, first of all, are all at Hogwarts, therefore on principle there's nothing too bad about them. Besides that point though, those paintings are enchanted to act and reenact how their human counterparts really did. The magic used to create them is extremely complex, but you can always trace where a paintings come from to find out how it should be acting. The mirror was not only found in the Weasley's house, again assuring it was hardly anything bad as Molly and Arthur would never let that around, but again it was preenchanted with a prescribed comment depending on how the enchanter thought you were dressed. This thing could be harmless and we're just overreacting, but it doesn't erase how bad it seems that someone tried to get rid of it."

James was nodding right along with the explanation, adding on, "yeah, you could find yourself possessed, making rash decisions you normally wouldn't or-"

"I think he gets it James," Lily cut him off as she saw how pale Harry had gone when his father first started listing these bad things.

"Err, well," Harry began lamely, "I don't um..." he trailed off miserably. He had no way to reassure any of them like they had done for him. All he could do was sit there and gesture vaguely to the book, and ignore the feeling of impending doom he had.

Sirius read on, ignoring the tangible fear that was lacing the room all over again.

"This thing is creepy sentient," Remus muttered.

"Sometimes I hate being right," James sighed, "because this is just awful."

"I can't believe any headmaster would try and cover something like this up," Lily moaned.

"What?" Sirius asked in confusion. "Someone went and murdered a kid, got caught, but not imprisoned?"

"I guess, since this was all covered up," Remus reasoned, "they couldn't convict who did it."

"So there's a murderer running around, even now. That's just great," James grumbled.

"No," they all yelped at once.

"Why not?" Harry asked, "I thought you guys wanted to know what happened before to?"

"We do," Sirius agreed, "but not at the risk of you being... whatever the hell's going to happen next."

Harry still looked genuinely confused, so Lily tried to explain saying, "just, let's just say this thing isn't good for you to go using like this Harry. I'm really wishing right now you had showed this to a teacher by this point."

"But you still have no idea what 'bad' thing is going to happen?" Harry asked.

"No," Remus sighed, "we're not even sure if it's going to be bad, but we don't know what it is going to do either."

Remus narrowed his eyes before asking, "so, it's like a Pensive?"

"A really creepy Pensive, that with any luck only holds one memory," Sirius agreed.

"I still don't like it," James huffed, "this diary has a personality, wants people to see this! There's something dark about that book."

"Agreed," Lily nodded, "but I want you lot to shut up now so I can see what Harry actually does with it."

Only looking mildly scolded, Sirius still continued.

"Pushy little bugger," James grumbled to himself.

The four of them released a breath, not at all pleased Harry had done this. James and Lily couldn't help but lean a little closer into Harry again, fearing something awful from something that they were so afraid was full of dark magic.

Remus nodded and said, "at least that was the correct description of going into a memory, I still hadn't ruled out the idea of something more sinister happening here."

"Who was the headmaster fifty years ago?" James asked, knowing it may have been mentioned earlier, but not really having taken note at the time.

"Ah, I think his named was Dipper or something?" Remus shrugged.

"Well, at least now I know it wasn't Dumbledore himself who covered up a murder," Lily smiled with relief.

Harry sat there, looking genuinely confused as he asked, "ah, what's a Pensive, does it make people not be able to hear me?"

"Oh," James blinked when he realized no one had explained that to Harry, "no, it seems to have tossed you into a memory. A pensive can hold a lot of memories at once. While in memory's, you can see what's going on around you, but you can't actually interact with anything."

He nodded in understanding.

"I love your kid," Sirius cackled, "who on earth falls into someone's office like that; and instead of demanding to know how he got there or who that was, he apologizes."

Harry smiled sheepishly.

James suddenly frowned, very puzzled as he demanded, "I doubt this is a former Headmaster's memory, so why is Harry seeing this? Is this Tom Riddle in the room behind Harry somewhere?"

Harry shook his head, then shrugged and said, "you guys know more about this then I do, but I've no idea why he hasn't come in yet."

Remus said, "I've heard some memories can be exaggerated upon to guess what was happening before the memory they are experiencing can begin. That's very advanced, and practically never used since he could very well be guessing the wrong things, but it's the only theory I've got."

The others nodded in acceptance.

"I'm impressed," Lily beamed, "you figured that out rather quickly."

Harry gave another sheepish smile as he said what he had then reasoned out, "well the last thing I saw was that Riddle wanted to show me something, then this. I just kind of worked it out from there."

"Very clever," James nodded.

"Dippet," Remus huffed, "can't believe I forgot that."

"Can't believe you even kind of remembered that," Sirius laughed, "who even remembers old Headmasters for fun?"

Remus gave his friend the stank eye, which he promptly ignored.

"Jeez," Lily said, going wide eyed, "exactly how many abused students does Hogwarts house?"

"To many it seems," Sirius sighed, feeling pity for this kid at once.

Harry was feeling something very bad welling up inside of him as he watched his family take pity on Riddle. That was not right, his gut told him, these people shouldn't feel anything but hatred for this sixteen year old. His brain however, once again failed to give any evidence for this.

"Ouch," Remus winced, "poor kid."

Sirius gave a surprised brow raise, Marvolo was an old hand me down pureblood name. Had this kid's parents been killed for half of his family not being like the other half? Not having any way to know this for certain, he continued on without raising his suspicions.

"Who clucks their tongue sympathetically?" James asked, giving a wane smile, "who clucks their tongue at all?"

The others just shrugged, perhaps this was something that Headmaster had simply done regularly, and Harry merely knew this by second hand knowledge of being in the memory? It wasn't unheard of.

"What kind of special arrangements?" Harry asked curiously. Though he somehow knew he wasn't in school anymore, he suddenly wondered if perhaps he should have brought this up with Dumbledore?

"Basically, they would have told you if anything to bad happened you could contact the school, then nothing more could be done," Sirius muttered bitterly. "I don't know why they even bother to tell you that."

Remus gave his friend's shoulder a sympathetic squeeze, so Sirius paused enough to smile at his friend before reading with less venom.

"Good to know the teachers were just as clueless back then," James muttered, "really makes my faith in the school go up some."

"Does he know already?" Lily asked in surprise. "If so, then why wouldn't he have said anything before now?"

"Maybe it's a hunch?" Remus offered. "He doesn't feel confident enough to act on it, but this might have motivated him to."

"Then his hunch would be right I guess," James said, frowning, "because Riddle had said in the diary this was his capture of the person."

"What is with these kids?" Lily huffed, "Is it really so awful to tell an adult if you're thinking about something?"

"Probably didn't want to be told he was being paranoid, or pointing fingers," Sirius shrugged.

"Wow," Lily said in surprise, "Dumbledore used to be a redhead?"

"Learn something new every day," Sirius shrugged, clearly feeling the information was inconsequential. He was dying to know who Riddle was going after now, wanting to go find this murderer now and toss him in Azkaban himself.

"Figures something awful would still take place in there," James muttered to himself.

"Does time pass differently in memories?" Harry asked curiously.

"Yes," Lily nodded, "what could feel like hours to you during that time, is actually just seconds outside of the memory."

Sirius couldn't help but give a little snort of mirth at that description, but he was so close now to finding this perpetrator that he didn't feel like pausing to mock Harry for this.

"Sirius, you must be joking," Remus demanded, trying to read over his shoulder.

Sirius ignored him though, going paler by the second as he continued reading.

"But, but that's-" James started to splutter as he, like his friends, recognized the accent the book was going for.

"Hagrid wouldn't," Lily moaned, fear lacing her tone, "he would never-" then she broke herself off and began gnawing at her lip again.

Sirius hesitated, glancing up at the others before continuing on with high trepidation.

"It wasn't Hagrid," Remus snapped, coming out of his shock now, "and that's not a Basilisk behind Hagrid, I'm sure of it. For starters, it wouldn't fit in a bloody box! Perhaps Riddle thought it was him, but-" then he broke himself off and ran his hand through his hair in worry.

"But what?" Harry asked eagerly.

James picked up his line of thought as he continued, "but that must mean that he somehow got blamed for this anyways."

"How though?" Sirius demanded. "There's no way Hagrid could have done something like that, I know that and I've never even spent time with him properly. Anyone who glanced at him would know that, so this must not be who Riddle convicts this night."

"Who else though?" Lily asked. "Unless someone else comes strutting into the room right now to claim they'd done it, Hagrid got expelled from school but he's not in Azkaban..." she trailed off miserably.

"This is an outrage," James growled, "Hagrid took the blame for this!"

"Let me finish this memory," Sirius sighed, looking like he wanted to do the exact opposite, "with any luck we're wrong."

Harry didn't have the heart to tell them he knew they were right on the mark with this one.

"There's proof as if I needed any," Remus huffed, "since basilisks don't click."

"Then what does he have in there?" James asked as a distraction.

Sirius, for once, didn't look the least bit curious to know that. He simply wanted to read proof that they were wrong about what was going to happen this night.

James did a double take in confusion at that, blurting out louder than Sirius, "how though? I thought Myrtle was a muggle-born, or at least I'm fairly certain she's said so. Her parents literally couldn't come."

"It is possible they made an exception," Lily voiced quietly, the very idea of parents having to come up to the school for this reason nearly unthinkable. "Lifted the charms enough to allow them entrance and for them to pick her up." The topic was so depressing that no one wanted to linger on it long to question this further.

"Now I'm happy it wasn't a giant killing snake," Lily shuddered in disgust, "memory or not, I don't want Harry anywhere near what killed that girl."

"It's an acromantula," James said in surprise.

"I guess Hagrid went in the forest and caught one, and brought it back to the castle with him," Sirius shrugged.

"Well that was awful," Sirius snarled, pressing his face into the pages to hold in his temper.

"Great, this is just great," Remus hissed, "now, not only do we still have no idea what's going on at the school this year, but now we can blame this Riddle jerk for Hagrid being expelled!"

"I shouldn't be too harsh on Tom," Lily sympathized, "he may have truly thought it was Hagrid's fault, and he was just-" then she cut off in a wince as the four boys gave her haughty glares. "What," she demanded, "I'm no happier than you about finding this out, but there's no since in needlessly hating on the other boy."

"I swear you'd defend a Death Eater," Sirius muttered.

"I would not," she snapped back, "I'm just willing to look at more than one side of a coin, unlike you lot who curse first and ask later."

"Moving on," James groaned, wanting to get past this part. "I agree with Remus, this whole memory was a bust. Now Harry's gotten his use out of it, and he'll turn it into a teacher, and we'll be done with it for the rest of the year."

"That's being optimistic," Sirius informed him, before pressing on anyways.

"Wow Harry," Sirius said in surprise, as he passed said boy the book, "I wouldn't have thought you'd think that."

"I have a reason for thinking it then," Harry defended.

"Well let's hear it then," James prompted when his son hesitated.

Harry rebutted by saying, "I'm sure I say it in the next chapter, where I'm just as sure we go to confront Hagrid."


	14. CORNELIUS FUDGE

"Sounds like a nice visit," Remus snorted, "going to confront one of your friends about whether or not he's been tromping around the castle and letting a snake lose."

Harry, blushing madly at the suggestion, but unable to deny it, simply read.

"See," Harry said after reading that, "I didn't think Hagrid had done it on purpose!"

"Alright then," James said, shrugging and smiling, "we weren't mad at you, just surprised is all. Following that line of thinking, yeah I could see how you could think Hagrid had done this."

"Let's, not answer that," Remus muttered to himself, already coming up with a fair few just off the top of his head.

"That's an interesting note," Lily nodded, "it must mean that whoever really was attacking must have felt to unsafe to continue doing this, so they let Hagrid take the fall. If they had kept going, it would have proven Hagrid's innocence."

"I still can't work out how they're doing it again now," Sirius huffed.

"That would be an interesting visit for sure," James snorted.

"Wow, that's quite a gap," Sirius said in surprise.

"Let's hope that extends to, oh, eternity," Lily muttered.

"I hate that they did that second year, but don't have teacher meetings until fifth year," Sirius huffed, "seems a little backwards don't you think?"

"What classes did you take?" Lily asked Harry, hoping he would remember this small tidbit.

Harry frowned in thought, but shook his head as he admitted, "I've no idea. I just remember I signed up for the same stuff as Ron."

"Best thing you can do," James nodded, "at least if you don't like the class, you have someone to commiserate with."

"Can't blame you there," Remus nodded.

"You lot just hate the class because of who's teaching it," Lily snorted.

"Can't blame us," Sirius laughed.

"Which is really sad," James sighed.

"Still an important lesson," Sirius chuckled.

"Arithmancy," James said at the same time Lily said, "Ancient Runes."

Harry smiled at both of his parents while they gave each other amused smiles.

Lily asked, "If you hated Arithmancy, why didn't you drop it?"

"Because you didn't," James replied like he thought it was obvious, "and I wanted to keep one extracurricular class with you."

"I still can't believe you convinced Peter to keep doing it with you," Remus laughed.

"Are you kidding me?" James snorted, "Pete was better at that class then I was. I would have flunked out if it wasn't for him."

"Then why did he complain about it so much?" Sirius asked.

"Because he was 'sick of watching me drool the whole time'," he responded with a grin, giving Lily a suggestive look.

Lily rolled her eyes indulgently at him, finding this far more amusing now then if he'd told her this back during their years at school.

Harry waited for a moment, but was slightly disappointed when he realized this particular conversation had wound down to a close, so he decided to keep going.

"And that right there was my earlier point," Sirius laughed, but there was a tinge of sadness in it this time as he continued. "What if that kid wanted to grow up and work for the Ministry working with Muggles? You have to have an OWL in Muggle Studies to even apply!"

"I can't decide what surprises me more," Lily told him with a very shocked look indeed. "The fact that you want a career in the Ministry working with Muggles, or the fact that you just made a very good point."

"I'd say I'm offended," he smiled right back at her, "but I'm not. Hey, might as well do something with my best NEWT grade right?"

"I think she meant more about your insight into the schools teaching system," Remus pointed out.

"But she said she couldn't decide, so I decided for her," Sirius laughed.

"Guess that's something we should bring up to Dumbledore as well," James laughed.

"Right after we talk about the giant snake, and his incompetent teachers. It's right on that list," Lily nodded.

"Can she do that?" Remus asked in surprise

"Why would she do that?" Lily asked, aghast.

"I don't think you can physically do that," James laughed, "there's no way she could attend all of those classes, since some of them happen at the same time."

Harry felt another echo of something, more missing memories. Sighing in defeat, he laughed along as his family chuckled about McGonagall having to tell poor Hermione this fact, and then he pressed on quickly to move past his annoyed feeling.

Amusement gone at once, all four adults felt their own echo of pain. It hadn't been there for a while now, so it seemed even sharper now than ever as they realized, once again, Harry had no one to turn to in such an important matter in his life.

"At least someone did," Lily murmured.

"Well that's new," James said in surprise.

"They haven't added a new class into the system in years, and they chose Divination," Sirius asked in disgust. "They could have picked a range of things, made Toad Choir an elective instead of a club, bloody art classes, or even Alchemy! Okay, maybe not that last one since it worked out so bad last year, but still! Guessing the future?"

"It is a rather flimsy brand of magic," Remus agreed, "but I suppose some students might enjoy it."

"It could tie in quite well with Astronomy as well," Lily nodded, "I've never looked to closely at Divination, but I know they do a lot of star tracking."

"That was very well rounded advice," James approved.

"Yeah, I agree. I've nothing to add this time," Sirius nodded.

"Now do you remember?" Lily asked eagerly.

Harry nodded with relief that he could grasp hold of that simple thing and told them, "Care of Magical Creatures, and Divination."

"Sweet," Sirius grinned, "I'm glad you picked the new class, that ought to be fun to watch."

"And Professor Kettleburn is a great teacher," Remus grinned, "you'll learn a lot from him."

"How do I keep missing the Quidditch chapters!" Sirius huffed in outrage. "I mean really, first Harry, then James, then Remus, now Harry got another one! Why do I keep getting missed out on this!"

"If it makes you feel any better," James sighed, "ours kind of sucked. With any luck this game will actually go without something awful happening!"

"Not another attack in there!" Lily yelped in shock, feeling that was just a little too close for home.

"I cannot believe that would happen," Remus shook his head furiously, "nothing that dangerous can get in the dormitory, they're the most heavily protected areas in the entire school!"

Harry read on, nervous all the same.

"Some jerk went through Harry's stuff," Sirius asked in disgust, that didn't entirely hide his relief that their initial assumption had been wrong.

"The Invisibility cloak!" James suddenly yelped with a whole new fear, "they didn't find that did they?"

"No," Harry reassured, then frowned as he tried concentrating without straining himself to much, "they took a book. I can't remember which one though..."

"Maybe it was a chick who wanted one of your Lockhart books," Remus offered.

"Didn't he give all of those to Ginny though?" Lily asked.

"Oh yeah," he shrugged, then said, "okay, I'm out of ideas."

As Harry's brain was starting to pound a bit with the strain of remembering again, he decided to read on rather than hurt himself.

"They were looking for something," Lily said with narrowed eyes, noting at once how everything seemed to be out and away from Harry's space.

"What though?" James asked again, thinking the only thing Harry, or anyone in that dorm for that matter, had of value was his invisibility cloak. Yet Harry said a book had been taken?

"No lose there," Remus smirked.

Lily snapped at Sirius before he could say anything, "quit pointing out every time we say something the same as someone in this book. It's not that bad."

Sirius huffed and pouted, but didn't interrupt Harry as he continued.

"That's, not good," James said at once with a frown.

"Why would someone steal that?" Sirius asked.

"Why did someone try and throw it away in the first place," Remus reminded, "considering the diary frames Hagrid, who isn't the one doing this, why is that book even considered dangerous to anyone?"

"You think Hagrid might have found it, figured out how to work it, then thrown it away?" James asked.

"No," Remus shook his head, still frowning. While it wasn't out of the realm of possibilities, it didn't seem in Hagrid's nature to try and trash it, he seemed more likely to hand it over to Dumbledore then flush it down a girl's toilet.

"This is ridiculous," Lily huffed, "I really wish Harry hadn't even found that book, it was completely pointless."

"Can't do much for it now," Harry sighed.

"Already prepping for next year's classes," Lily smirked.

"Where did she even get that?" Sirius asked.

"They invented this thing," Remus told him, as if talking to a slow child. "It's called a library. It's where you can go and borrow books from." Then he continued in more normal tones to Lily, "I'm not surprised one bit if she went down there moments after she signed up for her classes."

"Nope," James shook his head, "we established that any student can get in and out of the dormitory."

"Even any teacher could get in and out," Sirius agreed.

"Which leaves our list of people, which was blank before, just as blank," Remus huffed.

"Sirius, did you want to read the match?" Harry asked kindly.

"No," he sighed, still eyeing the book with want, "if we actually make it round to your seventh year, and last game, and I've still somehow been skipped, then I will demand my due chapter. Hopefully though, my luck isn't that bad."

Chuckling slightly, Harry kept reading.

"Fair enough," Sirius nodded, "not only could he not be able to prove it was his to begin with, but why would you draw attention to the act you own a diary?"

"You're an idiot," Lily told him.

"No," Lily groaned, "not again!"

They all looked pretty fearful, Harry most of all for some reason. There was something significant about this Quidditch match, and Hermione?

Remus released a shaky breath and said, "well, the students have been getting lucky so far, no one's died. Since all of the school's heading out towards the pitch now, I should hope no one will even get attacked this time."

"You think she figured out what was going on?" Sirius asked curiously.

"Forget that," Lily hissed, "she's running off alone, now! What if, hell whatever it is, finds her!"

Harry groaned, letting his head fall into his hands as his mother's words resonated inside him. The truth rang clear, of that he was sure. Lily realized what was going on at once, and clutched her son's hand, asking weakly, "please tell me you did that because Hermione came back down after the game and told you what she was thinking."

Harry looked up and shook his head miserably, whispering, "no, she gets petrified. Her and some other girl-" he cut himself off with a wince of pain and a growing ache of terror for his friend.

All four of them looked extremely upset for a moment, before Remus said, "well, she's lucky she just got petrified. That means she'll be just fine like the other students."

Harry nodded numbly, still shaking a bit. James was still casting his son concerned looks as he said, "guessing this means we don't get to hear her theory then?"

Harry shook his head, before pressing his hand into his temple again, and finally turning back to the book, now no longer even vaguely concerned about the coming match.

"The only thing I can think she figured out is how it's getting around," Remus huffed, "which will be annoying, because that's something I can't figure out either. Basilisks are just so big, there's no way possible someone wouldn't have seen it slithering around."

"I'm still more concerned with who's doing this than anything," Sirius disagreed, "and I'd be far happier if she figured that out."

"Did that everyone not include one of your best friends?" Lily asked in confusion.

Harry sighed glumly, now wishing he'd had the sense to go with Hermione at the least, or drag her down to the pitch and say she could check this out later, or something other than just letting her go like that!

"It's okay Harry," James said bracingly, "we know Hermione's going to be okay, right? So there's no since berating yourself over something that already happened."

Harry smiled at his dad for giving him back the same advice he'd been giving to them. He still didn't feel any less guilty, but he felt a little better as he continued.

"I've never been less excited for a match," Sirius sighed.

"Well that's not good," James frowned.

"She's cancelling the match?" Remus asked.

"I'm going to be honest," Lily sighed, "I'm a little relieved."

Harry sure wasn't at the time, but knowing now what he didn't then, he was very much pleased this game wouldn't go.

"To be fair," James frowned, "I'd be thinking the same thing if I didn't know Hermione and another student had been attacked."

"Poor kid," Sirius nodded, "hopefully the match is rescheduled or something."

"Why though?" Harry blurted out, anything to distract himself from what he so desperately didn't want to hear next. "Same as last year honestly, wouldn't it have been better for us to have stayed in the Great Hall, why move us back to our dormitories?"

"Because the dormitories are the most heavily and safely magically guarded part of the whole school," Remus gently explained. "They couldn't protect you nearly as well with you all out in the open like that, so they move you back to where you sleep, no better protection's there."

Harry nodded in understanding, dearly wishing he could delay this further but decided to just get it over with in the end and kept reading.

"Why you?" Remus demanded.

"She's not going to take you to Dumbledore again?" James scowled. "What was the point of going last time?"

Harry sighed, he had a vague feeling wherever he was heading, he wasn't going to like it.

"Oh crap," Sirius winced in disgust, "now I know this isn't going to be good."

"Oh," James said, then winced, "well, I guess she might be taking you to see Hermione then?"

Harry nodded, feeling in his gut that was true.

All five of them winced, none of them particularly pleased at this confirmation. They'd had no doubts Harry was wrong, but hearing it didn't feel any better.

"Wow," Remus said, going bug eyed, "so she did figure it out. The basilisk anyways."

"You got that from a mirror?" Sirius demanded.

"Well, if I'd figured out there was a Basilisk running around, and put the pieces together of how all the students at school were petrified, then yes. A hand mirror would be the perfect thing," Remus pointed out.

"Well I think this makes you officially smarter than Hermione," James grinned.

"I disagree," Remus shook his head, "I most likely couldn't do a Polyjuice potion even now. I'd still say Hermione would beat me in a general knowledge test."

"You figured out the giant killer snake before her," Lily pointed out.

"Okay, so I might be able to beat her at one thing," he was full blown grinning now, "but I really don't even see the point of this."

"It made me feel better," Harry pointed out, "took my mind off the fact that Hermione isn't petrified, right now. I don't have the memories to reinforce it, but I've got this gut feeling again that she's fine now. Err, at least when I last saw her, which I can't remember," he trailed off again in frustration.

"Well, guess we should keep reading then, so we can watch her wake up," Lily encouraged.

"Dang, and I thought curfew was bad before," James winced.

"What!" Lily asked in shock, "How would that even work? There's no way they could schedule that."

"It's going to be mayhem," Remus agreed.

"And not the good kind," Sirius added on.

"Now that's ridiculous," James scoffed, "use the buddy system if you must, but there really is no stinkin' way you could possibly control that!"

"So they're not even going to reschedule the tournament?" James asked in disgust.

"That was your biggest worry?" Lily demanded.

"Quidditch is good for the school," Sirius butted in, "keeps morale up, helps keep the mind off the terrifying things."

Lily couldn't deny the logic of that.

"Gobstones club is going to be pissed," Remus snickered half-heartedly.

"Well let's hope some bratty Slytherin prefect doesn't blame it on an innocent kid this time around," James grumbled to himself.

"Well, the one kid who actually had a clue what was going on in that school is temporarily stone," Harry sighed, "so I don't think that's going to happen."

"Wow, when you put it like that, Slytherin does look pretty bad," Sirius nodded.

"I still can't figure out the link between all of them," Remus sighed. "Is it random? Or could the person doing this really have some ulterior motive towards muggle born's."

"Was that Ravenclaw girl a muggleborn?" James asked.

"Don't know," Harry shrugged, "I don't even know her name."

Lily pursed her lips, before shaking her head and saying, "that's hardly fair. The Slytherins could just as easily be framed for this just like Harry was before."

"We weren't arguing the point," James shrugged, "we never hated the whole of the house, just a few particular students."

"Who all happened to be in that house," Sirius snickered.

"I, almost feel bad for him," Remus said, raising a brow in surprise. "I mean, is he really that naive? But he probably knew that Prefect pretty well, all the Prefects kind of know each other at least in passing, so I'd like to think he's more stunned at knowing one of the victims this time."

"I think you're right," James nodded, "I like your idea better anyways."

"That, is the scariest thing I've heard all year," James shuddered in disgust.

"Not going to happen," Sirius growled, "Ron would take him in, or hell he can go and live in an empty house and live off the vault until he comes of age!"

"Don't worry," Harry tried soothing them, "I really don't think the school closes. That's not going to be an option."

Lily released a breath and gave all four boys a critical eye, hoping they might understand Tom's motives a bit better now. Most of them still looked more upset at Harry's predicament.

"They better not," Remus snapped in disgust, "since he was never convicted of the crime in the first place, and especially since he didn't do it!"

Harry felt a sick feeling rising inside of him again, he had a really bad feeling about this.

"That would be nice," James sighed, "but I still don't see it."

"He might have a guess at what's wandering around the school," Remus offered.

"Then why wouldn't they have been putting more roosters around the school," James disagreed, "you've got to admit Moony, it's pretty farfetched this stuff happening."

"The roosters," Sirius muttered mostly to himself, but then he repeated it louder, "you remember just before Harry found Justin and Nick? We were wondering what could have been killing Hagrid's roosters?"

"Whoever's been letting the basilisk loose, of course," Lily nodded. "They wouldn't want those birds to have any chance of coming near that ghastly snake."

This still didn't help any of them figure it out further, as just about anyone had access to Hagrid's coop, so Harry shrugged without disagreement and read on.

"Can't believe he hasn't used that all year," James scoffed in disgust.

"That poor cloak was rotting away down there at the bottom of your trunk. Poor thing must feel as abused as Hedwig did," Sirius agreed.

Harry just chuckled at them, he had no defence for this really. Outside of a bit of sneaking, he really didn't have that much use for one of his most treasured objects. He was kind of afraid if he brought it out too much, something might happen to it, so he kept it safe so he knew where it was.

"That's because you still don't know how to do it!" James laughed.

"We had the place pegged down by the end of our first year," Sirius agreed.

"I wouldn't call going to visit the library once, and a mirror three times, several," Remus laughed.

"How many is several then?" Lily asked rhetorically. "Several isn't exactly a set number."

"Let's say a dozen then," Sirius shrugged.

"Dang!" James yelped, "of all the bloody teachers!"

"I swear, there's some kind of bad omen following you around," Sirius agreed.

Remus released a breath, saying, "for all their bad luck, they seem to be able to counter it with good luck pretty well."

"Wow, does he always answer the door like that?" Lily asked in concern.

"No," Harry said, frowning, "and he didn't look good. Really pale, and shaking. I think something bad happens on this visit to Hagrid's."

"Bad how?" James demanded.

Harry released a huffy breath, reminding James at once Harry couldn't elaborate.

"Expecting who?" Sirius asked in concern, "anyone who would knock, Hagrid shouldn't be waving that thing around in their face!"

"This isn't going to be good," Remus sighed.

"Oh dear," Lily said, looking genuinely upset for him, "I can't imagine why he's acting like this."

"I'm going to take a wild guess," Sirius said frowning, "and say that this knock might be why Hagrid's so freaked out. Who else, and why, would visit at this time?"

"This isn't going to be good," Remus repeated.

They all released a breath of unease. Okay, so it wasn't the Headmaster who Hagrid was afraid of, but then what? What on earth could scare Hagrid?

"It must be him then," James said at once.

Harry was frowning, wondering why on earth he had an intense dislike for the man he remembered seeing with Dumbledore. Right away he didn't like him simply because he felt his father was right, and Hagrid's mood this night tied into this man.

"This isn't good," Remus said again.

"How many times are you going to say that?" Sirius snapped, this having been the third time his friend said that.

"Until someone proves me wrong," he snapped right back.

"I'm with Remus," James said, looking a little panicked himself. "Why's the Minister of Magic there?"

"Not for any good reason," Remus huffed.

"Okay, we get that it's bad, now I want to hear how bad," Lily snapped at them.

"Act how?" Sirius demanded, narrowing his eyes dangerously.

"Like interrogating anyone who you think has done something wrong?" James snapped.

"You're not going to let that go are you?" Sirius asked with a benign smile. While he had been rather miffed about that himself at the time, still was honestly, he was willing to brush it off for now to help cool his friends temper.

It wasn't working all that well, because James was muttering under his breath and Remus had a look about him like he wanted to go curse the jerks that had come and arrested Sirius at his own place for that nonsense, but Sirius was eager to keep reading and ignore this for now.

Harry looked extremely curious about all of this, but was even more curious to find out about Hagrid, so he stored the question away.

"This is an outrage," Lily snarled, her bright green eyes looking likely to burst into flames, "they're going to force Hagrid to leave the school because of something that was never proven, all those years ago?"

"I can't believe they're actually allowed to do that," James agreed.

"Wow, and here I thought the Ministry couldn't get worse then it is now," Sirius huffed.

"Is that all they care about, their image?" Remus demanded.

"Not even an apology I'm sure," Lily muttered.

Remus winced and then huffed saying, "yeah, your duty to relook into someone who you thought did something, not bleeding arrest him without proof. Does the fact that he wasn't convicted not mean anything?"

"Guess not," Sirius grumbled.

"Let out!" James said, going bug-eyed.

"Let out of where?" Sirius asked, looking like he was going to be sick.

Harry didn't look any kind of happy as he read.

"Would they really send him there," Lily asked, worrying her lip, "without any kind of proof."

"I'm terrified to learn the answer," James huffed.

"Great, cause this couldn't get any worse," Remus groaned.

"Nope, it just got worse," Sirius huffed, his hands starting to pat his legs in his display of nerves. Sirius was prone to getting up and running around when he got nervous, the fact that he couldn't do that now, and was forced to sit here and listen to this happening to Hagrid was driving him crazy.

"Dog's got good instincts," James nodded in approval

Now all five of them tensed up, a snappy retort on their lips, more than willing to curse Malfoy for that petty insult.

"Which means it's good news for us," Sirius snapped.

"Any bad thing for a Death Eater is a bright side for us," James agreed.

Remus was fidgeting with unease, dearly wanting to point out to his friends he didn't disagree with them, but he had a really bad feeling why Malfoy was there.

"Bloody hell," Lily snapped, beginning to wring her hands at once, "he must be joking. Dumbledore gone, if there's one thing holding back this would be attacker at the school, it must be Dumbledore."

"There's no way the governors could agree to such a thing," Remus agreed vehemently.

"Just goes to show I was right about the downfall of the Ministry," Sirius hissed in disgust.

"And how many people did he have to threaten to make that happen?" Sirius muttered under his breath.

"Can't believe he said all that with a straight face," Harry snapped in disgust, "since we all know he doesn't mean it."

"Wow," Lily said in surprise, "so even this joker knows better than to get rid of Dumbledore."

Harry cocked his head to the side, finding something odd in his mother's words, but the others were already agreeing with her, James saying, "as much as I hate his reasons, him trying to kick Hagrid out like this, at least he has some small sense."

"I just can't picture it," Remus said sadly, "Hogwarts without Dumbledore... just can't imagine."

"I'm positive this won't last," Sirius said, forcing bright tones into his voice, "like I said, I'll bet anything Malfoy had to force most all of those signatures so as soon as something else bad happens, they'll reinstate him."

"I'd like to point out you seem to have the same flaws as Ron half the time," Lily said gently, "while I can see the comfort you were going for, I certainly don't want anything else bad to happen at school."

Sirius gave a sheepish smile, unable to deny that.

"I'm so glad Hagrid said that," Sirius said, grinning wickedly, "now I'm wondering if this Fudge will have the gall to look into it."

"From the way he's treating Hagrid right now, I wouldn't hold your breath," James sighed.

"So they are sending him to Azkaban," Lily half shouted, "for what?! Without any proof, evidence, just a false claim from fifty years ago! Has the ministry fallen that far!"

All four boys looked ready to cower back in her rage, even when it wasn't directed at them. Lily continued on her tangent for quite some time, until Harry gently cut in saying, "Mom, I know it's all kinds of awful, but shouting really won't help."

Lily gave her son a scathing look as she snapped, "well it makes me feel better."

Harry nodded sadly, before he decided to read on in the momentary silence.

All five of them shuddered, not at all pleased with Hagrid declaring that. None of them could quite state enough just how lucky all the students had been so far that there hadn't been a killing yet!

"Why did he say that with such significance?" Remus asked. "Sweet sentiment, is he trying to say that McGonagall will take his place and do the same things as him?"

"Best I got," Sirius shrugged.

"Does he know you're in there?" James asked with interest. If he did, then he clearly wasn't going to rat Harry out, or he would have done it by now. If he didn't, then that was quite the coincidence.

"I think so," Harry nodded.

"I'm sure she will," Remus nodded with the utmost confidence in McGonagall taking over temporary responsibility for the school.

"What spiders?" Lily asked.

"Um, does he mean the spiders that have been randomly running away from the castle?" Remus asked.

"What would that tell?" Sirius asked.

"I'm sure Harry's going to find out," James grinned.

"I'm sure I'm not going to like the answers," Lily muttered in disgust.

"That's what I was thinking," Remus nodded, shuddering at the thought.

"Chapter's done," Harry said miserably, somehow knowing this still wasn't the worst thing that could happen to the school this year.


	15. ARAGOG

Remus took the book very unwillingly, not looking any kind of excited to see how right they were about those 'attacks a day.'

"Sounds lovely," Lily sighed, wishing her favourite time of year wasn't so amok due to the events of this year.

All five of them winced, James saying, "err, yeah I guess that could be a possibility. We still don't even know why those students were attacked."

"Man this is depressing," Sirius huffed,"makes me wish for the old years where the students were just being hauled out of school because of paranoid parents."

"That wasn't any more comforting," Remus snorted.

"Now that I remember," Lily sighed.

"I couldn't stand that after my third week," James sighed, "I grew up in a pretty quiet house, I wasn't going to stand a quiet school!"

"I thought he meant it more metaphorically," Lily grinned, "not literally."

While Harry smiled at his mother for the light comment, he also sighed, wishing he had someone to turn to back then.

"Yeah," Remus nodded, "I picture Ron looking for spiders like Sirius looking for a dragon's nest."

Sirius huffed and muttered something under his breath.

"As would I," they all agreed, that sounding annoying.

"He's really trying his hardest to make himself not look suspicious, huh?" Sirius laughed.

"He's pleased because his wish came true," James growled to himself, "wasn't he the one who wished it was Hermione that got petrified next?"

"Thanks for that reminder," Harry grumbled, his fists balling up all over again.

"Are we sure Malfoy doesn't have something to do with this?" Sirius asked. "Cause if you ask me, he's still taking this too lightly."

"Well, since nobody but Muggleborns have been attacked yet, I'd have to say he doesn't have anything to worry about," Lily sighed.

"Oh yes, now let's brag about your father getting rid of the greatest headmaster ever," Remus growled.

"I will genuinely sob if someone doesn't punch that kid in the face soon," Sirius hissed.

"I shudder at the thought," James sneered.

"What, is he hoping his dad will be the new headmaster as well?" Lily asked.

"Wouldn't surprise me," Sirius gagged at the thought.

"No," Remus snapped, "if the worst happens and Dumbledore really can't come back, they'd have to kick her out as well before being able to replace with their own Headmaster. Even then, McGonagall has her own right to designate her own second."

"You kind of scare me when you start ranting like that," James told him honestly.

Remus shrugged, only simmering down slightly.

"Then I'm sure I'd roll over in my grave," James hissed to himself.

Harry suddenly felt like he'd been sucker punched between the eyes, but surely he must be misunderstanding Malfoy. There was no way in Merlin's pants that Snape could ever get ahold of that position...right?

"I'm sure he's just sobbing with grief," Sirius grumbled.

"If he kisses up to him anymore, I'm going to be forced to make a very lame brown nose joke," Sirius huffed.

"For the love of Merlin, please don't," James groaned. "Since most of your jokes are bad enough as is."

All five of them cracked up laughing at this, finding it a more than appropriate response.

Remus finished that sentence with a foul taste in his mouth. He hated how casually this child threw that word around.

"I can't believe this," Lily gasped, losing a shade of colour. "Who could say something like that? Let alone a child?"

The other three boys agreed, but Harry puzzled over something. He had a distinct feeling that, when it came down to it, Draco wasn't a killer. What on earth could possess him to think this? No one noticed his silent questions, Remus was already done agreeing with Lily and moving past this.

"Attempts?" Sirius frowned in annoyance, "who's stopping him?"

"Sirius think about it," Remus sighed, "he's in Snape's classroom."

"I don't care," James snapped, backing up his friend, "I'll take fifty detentions just to punch that git in the face for saying something like that."

Harry shook his head sadly from side to side, saying, "while I agree with you, Snape would have stopped Ron before he even started. Then he would have gotten the detentions, without the satisfaction."

"I love it when you reason things out like that," Remus grinned, "shows a lot more thought than these two ever did, or even Lily for that matter."

"I've no idea what you're talking about," she grinned.

"Don't even," James huffed, sitting back in his seat, "we all know you've got a temper, and you would have cursed this kid sky high given half the chance. So far the only one who can keep their heads in this sort of thing is Remus, and Harry it seems."

Harry just smiled and shrugged.

"There's that to," Remus chuckled, "he doesn't want to go puking slugs up again now does he?"

"Like he said though," Sirius shrugged, "fists can work just fine."

All five of them shivered at once, hating to hear that aloud once more.

"Not this one again," James groaned, placing his face in his hands, "I already want to punch one twelve year old in the face today!"

"I really hope he's not going to start throwing insults at you again in the middle of class," Lily huffed.

"What's this?" Sirius asked, craning around and trying to pull away the book.

"Knock it off Padfoot," Remus griped, keeping the book closer to himself, "and let me read. I think I like where this is going."

"Well that was nice," Lily said, brightening at once.

James hesitated for a moment before nodding and saying, "any kid who can admit they were wrong, and then apologizes like that. Yeah, guess this kid's not all bad."

"Still a gullible idiot," Sirius grinned, then nodded along saying, "but not all bad."

"Well this couldn't have worked out better," Remus smirked, agreeing full heartedly with the other two, "hopefully the rest of the school follows that same line of thinking, and you'll stop getting rumours following you around."

"I sure hope so," Harry agreed.

"Now he's at least more on the right track," Sirius grinned.

"To bad he's wrong," James huffed.

"And that's how a real friend does," Sirius nodded, "even if your mate stupidly gets over it, you hold a grudge for him."

"That doesn't make any sense," Lily rolled her eyes at him.

Sirius just shrugged, it made perfect sense to him.

"Well that wasn't very thought out," Remus out right laughed this time, "you should have at least given a good reason as to why you thought not, or even better agreed with them. Just because you know they're wrong, doesn't mean you can't indulge them."

"I didn't see the point in spreading rumours," Harry defended, "I hate them, even aimed at people I don't like."

"Maybe he's less like Remus then I thought," Sirius grinned.

"Ouch," Sirius winced, "what was that for?"

"To get his attention," Harry pointed out.

"A simple poke would have been kinder," James laughed.

Lily then said something very unladylike.

"Mum?" Harry asked in concern.

"You're not actually going to follow them in there are you?" She demanded, going a little wide eyed.

Harry mulled that over for a moment before shrugging and saying, "if I give you one of my gut answers again, are you still going to be mad if I'm right?"

"That's a yes then," she moaned, beginning to gnaw on her lip at once.

"This can't be good," Sirius huffed, "this can not be good."

Harry thought back to the stories these boys had been telling him about the Forbidden Forest, and then agreed out loud with Sirius.

"So you lot have never seen where the spider's den is?" Lily asked pitifully.

"Nope," James shook his head sadly. "We followed them in pretty far once, but then we came across some that were twice the size of us. We hightailed it out of there and never went back."

"Why would Hagrid say to follow them anyways?" Remus demanded. "It didn't even occur to me that when he said to follow the spiders, he meant the ones that would lead him into the forest!"

"Where else did you think they would lead?" Harry asked.

"I don't know, maybe to the chamber, or if you followed them backwards, to where the monster was hidden. Not to their den!"

"This isn't going to be good," Harry sighed, before encouraging Remus to go on anyways. None of them looked the least bit happy about this.

"Can't imagine why," Sirius muttered.

"Great," James huffed, "even more of an annoyance to deal with."

"Believe it or not, I'd take a double Dark Arts class with him over that bleeding forest," Lily shuddered.

"Now that's fair," Remus nodded, "last year Hagrid did say nothing would hurt you with Fang around."

"Think that holds true for the giant spiders?" Sirius asked. "They saw me and didn't have a problem trying to eat us."

"I don't think it works with just any dog," James disagreed. "It might just be Hagrid's dog in particular."

"Here's hoping," Lily murmured.

"So glad that rumour never died out," Sirius chuckled as a brief distraction.

"Oh that was comforting I'm sure," Lily muttered.

"As blundering and useless as always then," Remus grumbled to himself.

"I'm not even going to answer that," Sirius declared.

"Thank you," Lily said sincerely.

"Oh please," James huffed.

"And here I thought he couldn't get more stupid," Lily said in disbelief.

"The Minister was covering his own arse by taking in someone who hadn't done a thing wrong-" Sirius began hotly.

"Yes Sirius, we know, and it is wrong," Remus pacified, "but stop that now so I can read."

Sirius slouched back and kept up his muttering anyways.

"You flatter yourself too much," Remus snapped in disgust.

"Besides, I doubt you know a touch more about anything over a toddler. I'm one hundred percent sure my little four month old upstairs could do more magic than him," James growled.

"Ron seems to be getting attacked by you a lot today," Lily grinned.

"He is acting out," Remus noted in surprise.

"I'd be even worse if one of my friends had been attacked," Sirius defended.

"Slow applause for your show of strength anyways," James sighed.

"Can't you do it never?" Lily muttered under her breath.

"Best motive for doing anything ever," Sirius agreed.

'Well that was rather nice of them' Lily thought, noting they hadn't really been known to do this yet, and she couldn't help but wonder if Ron's siblings were trying to be extra nice to him in sympathy for the temporary loss of his friend.

"I guess I can see the point of doing that," Sirius shrugged, "but still, wouldn't that look a bit suspicious?"

"They didn't seem to notice," Harry shrugged.

"Well here you go boys," Lily snarked, "Harry and Ron are finally doing something with the cloak you should approve of."

"Please Lily," James moaned, "is now really the time for that? Yes, we snuck into the forest all the time, but we never intended to go find giant man eating spiders, except for one time! Then we didn't again when we realized how bad they were, give us some credit."

Lily tried for a smirk, she had been trying to push some humour into the room, but it didn't seem to hold the same effect.

"It really should be harder to get out of the school," Lily noted.

"Nah," Sirius disagreed, "I insist they make it easy on purpose. The teachers know we need out of the castle more than they allow." Present time excluded of course, where they were clearly going out of the way to stop them.

"Soundless logic as that is," Lily snorted.

"Poor kid," Remus winced, "boy is he in for surprise."

"Oh, please tell me that someone's been letting him out," Lily fretted.

"I think someone said something about McGonagall taking him out," Harry soothed.

"That's an adorable thought," James grinned, "picturing her coming out and around and taking Fang out to go potty."

Sirius started laughing very loudly, and it took him a moment to calm down before he breathed out, "I think that's base torture."

"I disagree," James scoffed at once, "there are plenty of reasons you don't want to be seen in the forest. Fold it up and carry it or something."

Harry just shrugged, he had nothing to say to that and it was already done.

"Well at least he's going to have a good time," Remus chuckled.

"That's probably true," Sirius snickered.

"That's some friend," James grinned from ear to ear, "walking into literally a real fear just to find out a secret that might help his friend."

"Best kind of friend there is," Sirius and Remus both grinned, Sirius privately thinking he'd brave a dozen dragons' den if it would stop this catastrophe of a future he was hearing about.

Lily shuddered in disgust, remembering Hagrid's words clearly about not leaving the paths, though also trying to comfort herself with knowing that these four boys in the room had obviously ventured off the path and seemed to be alright. Still, she herself didn't much like the idea, no matter how much she heard about it.

"Sound advice," Lily sighed out loud this time, "wish you would have followed it," clearly to herself.

"Jumpy much," Sirius said in forced light tones, not finding it remotely funny.

"No, the correct response to that was, we shouldn't go any farther," Remus muttered under his breath.

"And that's about when we ran into the giant spiders," James nodded in remembrance, "when the ground began sloping towards the middle of the forest."

"That was not comforting, in the slightest," his wife informed him.

"Not good," they all muttered. Anything Fang barked at was never good.

"Thought Fang had his jaw glued shut?" James randomly giggled as a distraction.

"It wears off," Harry reminded, pointing out how he'd earlier wrenched his jaw apart to snap at Hagrid about his crack in wanting a signed photo.

"Please tell me you just run away once you find them," Remus hissed without any conviction.

Even as Remus read that, he could hear the faint echoing of it in the room from the other occupants. No one wanted Harry anywhere near...well anything that was big and in the forest.

"I don't want Ron to answer questions anymore," Lily muttered.

"Light?" Sirius asked in confusion.

"You think a teacher followed them out?" Remus asked curiously.

"Nah, or they would have been stopped long before this," James disagreed.

"Then what would cause a light in the forest?" Sirius asked redundantly.

Since none of them had a real answer, Remus read.

Lily very much wanted to feel sympathy for the poor dog, but she was far more worried about her little Hare Bare and his extremely vulnerable, wandless, friend.

"The car?" they all repeated in confusion.

The fear that had been mounting in Harry's face suddenly relaxed again to confusion and slight amusement. "What on earth would the car be doing there?"

"Did no one ever go and get that thing out of there?" Remus demanded, rubbing at his chest from delayed fear.

"Wow, that car's just been running around the forest this whole time?" Sirius asked, slightly bemused, and trying to shake off his want of screaming from the mounting fear.

"Better it than Fluffy," James muttered.

"Wow, Mr. Weasley must have had the car for ages for it to be so imbued with magic," Lily said, rather impressed.

"Kind of want to enchant my bike like that now," Sirius said, grinning brightly, "looks like it might be loyal."

Lily dearly wanted to smack him for that, not finding it funny in the slightest.

"No," James shook his head frantically, "I'd still keep that out." He couldn't quite get the image out of his mind of the last time Harry had been in the forest. Sure he had better backup then Malfoy now, at least Ron wouldn't run at the first sight of trouble, but with a broken wand he still didn't feel that secure about the place as normal.

"Can't you just get in and go back to school," Lily groaned.

"Now what would have been the point of going out there?" Harry asked rhetorically.

Remus' voice began pitching with fear, this didn't seem good.

"Well that's not good," Sirius whispered, right in line with Remus' line of thinking.

Lily's mouth was half sagged open, like she wanted to scream but couldn't find the air. Harry gave her a very concerned look and asked, "ah, Mum?"

"Ten, ten feet," she stuttered, then gave a great shiver as if trying to shake them off herself.

"I, dang yeah, they were about that big," James was a little off colour as well.

"I hate acromantulas," Sirius muttered, rubbing goose bumps out of his arm.

"But I'm fine," Harry reassured at once, "and this trip is really important, I'm sure of that."

"So long as you and Ron come out with all four limbs," Remus huffed.

"Fang's probably why they didn't eat you outright," Remus reasoned aloud, "like Hagrid said, the spiders must have recognized Fang and knew not to attack."

"I really kind of want to know now how Hagrid made a pact with spiders," Sirius said honestly.

"Whatever he did, thank Merlin for it," Lily shuddered again one more time, that horrid mental image of her boy being clutched in a sea of spiders still not quite leaving her, "because it's probably what saved these boys' lives."

All five of them gave one last wince of disgust, hoping the book would quite describing this now.

"Wish the car had gone to protect them or something," James muttered.

"I think it was trying to," Sirius offered, "seems a bit of a coincidence it just showed up then yeah? Personally I think it was trying to warn them to get out of there."

"Too bad they didn't listen," Lily huffed, giving Harry a sidelong look which he sheepishly ignored.

"Okay, I don't even have a fear of spiders, and I'm starting to freak out," James gaped.

"Poor Ron," Sirius agreed, "and you," he added on thoughtfully to Harry when he saw his pup watching him.

"How big do they get?" Lily asked in disgust.

"They keep growing until they die," Remus seemed to be regretting having to answer, but willing to anyways for their benefit, "and they can live for up to sixty or seventy years. They also have some form of a hierarchy, a dominant male and female, that continue reproducing until the mother of the group is too weak to fend off the young. Once they grow too old, their young will eat them, and a new hierarchy will start to form."

"That was more than I ever wanted to know about them," Lily grumbled, "but thanks all the same."

"He must be living in a nightmare right now," Sirius said pityingly.

"There goes any hope of Ron getting over his fear of spiders," James agreed.

"They speak?" James demanded in disgust.

"How smart are they?" Lily yelped.

"Human smart," Sirius and Remus both said.

"They just get better and better," Harry muttered.

Harry went bright eyed for a moment, nodding to himself as yet another name slide into place in his mind. It wasn't a very important name, of that he was sure, but one that he felt he should have remembered vividly and feeling pleased he now could.

"That is almost funny," Sirius said curiously.

"Just as dangerous without his eyes," Remus disagreed, "so whatever you're thinking, the answer's no."

"You're no fun," Sirius told him, while privately he was scoffing. Like he really wanted to go anywhere near those things.

"Yeesh, harsh much," James winced, going several shades paler.

"And now we know not to disturb you during your nap," Sirius grumbled, "next time, we'll give you notice."

Remus nodded, knowing on instinct this was the best thing to say right then.

"Aw," Lily said in surprise.

"Wow, I'm genuinely impressed," Remus agreed, "most acromantulas don't form human bonds. In fact, I'm almost positive this is the same giant spider that Riddle tried to kill, and Hagrid protected."

"It would make sense," James nodded.

"Well then thank Merlin for Hagrid's oddity with monsters," Sirius shrugged.

"Not a good idea to be agitating them right now," Sirius fretted.

"I'll keep that in mind," Harry responded calmly, giving all of them a chance to give him a weak smile.

"Oh that's even better," James muttered, "seems Hagrid is the one who started the Acromantula colony in the forest himself."

"Yeah, Hagrid just lost some brownie points with me," Sirius grumbled, taking back his earlier comment a bit.

Lily might not like the idea of giant man eating spiders much, especially ones that so casually said her son could be eaten, but she did feel grains of pity for this creature and could understand why it felt so partial to Hagrid now.

"A little too much goodness if you ask me," Remus frowned, "I think giving him a girlfriend was going just a bit far."

"Oh but it's so much fun picturing it," Sirius grinned, "think of little Hagrid talking to a lonely Aragog, and then him asking about girls and whether Mosag liked this or-" he stopped when Remus smacked him, even though Remus didn't seem to notice the nasty glare Sirius was now giving him.

"Bet your kids can't say the same," James muttered to himself, having heard a few stories in his time of other students wandering into the forest and not coming back out.

Harry nodded to himself, saying aloud, "that's it. That was the important thing I remembered about this night."

"So you went out there only to find out it was Myrtle who died," Sirius frowned. "Honestly, you could have just sat around and talked to her with much less deadly results."

"I didn't know that then," Harry defended.

"Guess there's no point in arguing it then," Remus butt in before Sirius could respond.

"Well this just got unbelievably creepier," Lily frowned, "I'd hate to meet what scares an acromantula."

Remus nodded to himself, as if he needed more proof of what he thought was in the bowels of the castle.

"Could you please stop describing that now," James groaned, trying to ignore the fact that it was getting hard to hear at all from the harsh thumping in his chest.

"Kay, you got your information," Sirius said, starting to bounce in place again, "can you please leave now."

Harry had his own look of unease in place, but he was still determined to talk to the spider as long as possible.

"Which is a real shame, cause I would have liked to known by then," Harry muttered mostly to himself.

"Now, we were wanting to leave," Harry agreed with Sirius, forcing back a sense of unease that was starting to build.

"I'm sorry, I'm starting to wish Hagrid hadn't ever found this stupid spider," James snarled, "cause I don't like it."

"Agreed," everyone else muttered.

Remus couldn't help yet another shiver of fear and disgust as he read that. Acromantulas were extremely hard to kill, so how on earth had his cub gotten out of this? He didn't wait for the stony silence to erupt into outrage at the spider, he simply read on swiftly.

Then he had to stop again to choke off a strangled sob. All he could picture was James, doing this same thing for his soon perished life-he jumped slightly when Sirius nudged him in the ribs, hard. His eyes were too bright, he looked like he was trying to force himself not to blink to hold back tears, but one glance over to the couch showed that the little family of three were having their own issues with that sentence. Knowing Harry was fine and alive only slightly comforted him as he forced himself to keep reading.

Lily blinked once, twice, then she burst out in half hysterical laughter. "I-I'm sorry," she gasped, looking around at Harry and finally getting out, "I am so sorry for having yelled at you for taking that car to school."

Harry grinned at her, never having held the scolding against her, but pleased all the same she didn't seem to be holding that against him anymore.

Almost giddy with excitement and laughing at this bit of circumstance, Remus now read eagerly.

"Definitely going to be enchanting my bike," Sirius said with real conviction now, watching Lily warily to see if she was going to get mad at him again, "it seems like it will be handier than harm."

Lily pursed her lips, but then chose to say nothing. While she was still a woman of the law before a lot a things, she decided just then she might be able to turn a deaf ear to what he had just said...the benefits seemed far more important just then.

"They deserve it," James muttered mostly to himself, though no one would have disagreed. They were all still just a little winded at yet another horrifying deadly experience that happened to Harry, heart rates weren't even considering going back to normal until Harry and Ron were far away from that den.

"I hope that car never leaves the forest now," Sirius grinned wildly, "can you imagine the sight of that?"

"It seems to come in handy," James agreed.

"Ron seems to have gotten quite a bout of bad luck this year," Remus noticed with a slight wince.

"Walking into the forest into his worst nightmare," James agreed, "takes some kind of kid not to have run screaming."

"Didn't you hear though?" Sirius asked, trying to keep a straight face, "he was silently screaming the whole time."

"Knock it off you three," Lily finally cut in, "enough of your joking around, this isn't funny."

"We didn't say it was," James defended, now massaging his chest and hoping his heart rate would go back to normal before the next catastrophe, "we're just sympathizing with Ron."

Lily watched them for a moment more before shrugging and letting it go.

"I'm going to guess the answer to that is no," Remus said sadly.

"Now for the love of anything, please tell me you don't go back in there!" Lily moaned.

"Ah," Harry wanted to fervently agree with his mother, but he had a sinking feeling it would be a lie if he agreed, so he instead said nothing. They all noticed this, and it didn't improve a mood one bit.

"Poor dog," Sirius said in sympathy.

"Sweet," James said, finally finding a grin again, "I can't wait to spread the rumour about a car trundling the forest."

"Let's see how many people you can get to believe that," Remus snorted.

All five of them winced, hoping Ron wasn't going to do something worse like pass out. He had just lived through his worst nightmare, so the kid could afford to be more than a little queasy, but it would be really bad for the two of them to not be in bed in the morning and Ron passing out would make that all the harder.

"That does make me really wonder what Hagrid was thinking," Lily agreed with Ron.

James opened his mouth to say something, but then Remus caught sight of the next sentence and read loudly.

"Thought?" Lily hissed, "well he shouldn't have tested that theory on Harry."

"He was scared," James defended, "and desperate. Maybe he thought Aragog would give Harry some more useful information about why he was in Azkaban."

Lily didn't think that excused Hagrid's negligence, but she couldn't find it in her heart to be too angry with him either. He hadn't known what was going to happen, of that she was sure, so to hold a grudge for it would be petty, so she let the matter go.

"Another piece to the puzzle," Harry sighed, "which you guys mostly worked out already."

"Don't feel too bad," James said at once, "we're older, and time really does add on to experience. Plus, this is kind of something no one your age should even be looking into, so the fact that you do know what you do is kind of amazing in itself."

"Yeah, don't beat yourself up because you weren't old yet," Remus agreed.

Harry couldn't stop the smile that spread across his face then.

"Well innocent of murdering the girl then," Harry amended.

"Close enough anyways," Sirius chuckled.

"Now that's a creepy parallel," Lily said, not liking the comparison one bit.

"That is still a big question," Remus agreed.

"Nightmares," James said with a frown, "boy's going to be having nightmares for a month."

"Can't even blame him," Sirius agreed.

"I still say that mad trip was worth figuring that out," Harry shrugged, quickly adding on, "though I hope to never repeat the process."

"Guess I'm going to have to live with that," Lily grumbled.

"Yeah, whoever would have suspected that nutter," Remus agreed as he passed Lily the book.


	16. THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS

Lily took the book with high trepidation, she really was terrified of what she was about to read. Last time her son had found out something crucial about the school, he charged headfirst into danger. He had just discovered that Moaning Myrtle might have been a victim, what if Myrtle told him something more? She had no doubts he would do the same thing again. She knew if Harry figured out where the Chamber was, he very well might go down there and figure it out on his own. Throwing him a wayward look, all he could offer her was a wane smile, but it was enough. She smiled back and forced herself to read.

"Agreed," Sirius nodded, "that's why it pays to talk to all the ghosts at some point or another."

"Do you not remember the cloak?" James demanded, "it will be difficult sure, but not impossible."

"I didn't like using the cloak unless I absolutely had to," Harry disagreed, "didn't want anything to happen to it, or for a teacher to confiscate it. So I didn't want to risk it, not then anyways."

James nodded in understanding.

"I guess without Hermione, you forgot about them?" Remus asked.

"Yeah," Harry agreed.

"Why wouldn't he think so?" Lily asked.

"Yeah, the school has awful stuff happening to it all the time, I swear the teachers would still hold exams if there was just one student left," James agreed.

"Oh yeah, they've all got their noses to the books I'm sure," Sirius snorted.

All four of them gave Harry a wane smile, sorry to tell him that they had gone to school in much the same fearful conditions. Not necessarily with a monster running loose inside the school, but the monster running loose on the outside hadn't exactly made for the best environment.

"I'm sure that just made her day," Remus snorted.

"Oh, I'm sure you're just exaggerating," Lily grinned, "you learn more in your classes then you think you do."

Harry shrugged, his learning had been the last thing on his mind those past few weeks so at the time he probably couldn't have come up with a first-year spell.

"Sounds like a lovely expression," James chuckled.

Then all five of them winced, Lily saying, "he really should go and ask for a new wand now. I'm sure his parents aren't still mad about the car thing, just tell them an accident happened."

"I'm very sure he doesn't," Harry said, shaking his head from side to side, and wondering something. Something about Ron's wand, and a few days before exams? Did he learn something new, about the Chamber- his thoughts were cut off as Lily continued.

"I like all of those suggestions," Sirius chuckled.

Harry made a choking noise and pressed his palm to his forehead, which the others did notice this time. Sadly when asked though, all he could say was "Something happens on that day. Something about Ron's wand...but I can't remember" he finished in frustration, this time leaning back and forcing himself not to pry into his memories without prompting. The four of them exchanged very world weary looks, knowing by now that if Harry had a memory this powerful, it was something significant. Whether good or bad, couldn't be guessed.

"Hermione," they all said at once, Sirius adding on, "hopefully that's what you're trying to remember. I've no idea what Ron's wand would have to do with it, but I'm sure Hermione waking up is it." He finished with far more hope in his voice then he actually felt.

Harry nodded, not feeling this answer was any more correct than Sirius. Hermione woke up, of that he was sure, but it wasn't what this feeling was.

That gained a genuine burst of laughter from all of them, never having met her, even the four adults could imagine the girl going crazy at that prospect.

"Wonder what's eating her?" Remus asked.

Lily rolled her eyes indulgently, it's not like any of them had a clue, so read.

The humour was gone at once, as they all puzzled over this. Ginny was acting pretty scared, even after the good news that the victims were about to awaken.

There was something bad happening inside of Harry right now. He had a sudden overwhelming desire to grab hold of Ginny and keep her by his side for the rest of that year, his instincts were telling him something really bad was about to happen to her... then it was gone again. He was left as befuddled and curious as the rest of them as his Mom read.

"You think she figured something out?" James asked curiously.

"Can't imagine what," Sirius shrugged, "or why she'd be acting like this if so. She hasn't done anything wrong by figuring anything out."

"She might be nervous Ron's going to tell her she's being ridiculous, and is nervous about being shot down," Remus offered.

"She's fixing to tell us anyways," Lily finally interrupted there speculating, "just let me read it."

"Great, now we have to start this all over," James huffed, growing more uneasy the longer this went on.

"What?" They all yelped in genuine concern.

"Why would she tell one brother and not the other?" Remus asked.

"Well if you were right," Sirius offered, "then she really wouldn't have wanted to get shot down by someone like Percy. I'll bet she looks up to him as the smart one or something."

"Still," Lily fretted, "to run off like that, what on earth could be bothering her?"

"You tell us," James reminded with a sly grin.

Lily shot him a look that clearly said, 'you're not funny,' but read anyways.

"How does he know?" James demanded, "he didn't even let Ron finish."

"Percy needs a reality check," Lily agreed.

"No," Sirius yelped, looking genuinely upset, "not never mind! I want to hear what Saint Percy's been up to."

"Honestly Sirius, you wanted to know more gossip about the school than half the girls," Lily chuckled.

"Makes for good blackmail," he grinned cheekily at her before giving her a very obvious wink.

"Any ideas then," Remus cut off before Lily could reply to that.

"Um, I've got nothing," James shrugged, "I really can't imagine Percy getting into much."

"Probably won't find out anyways," Sirius said, deflating, then frowning and saying, "you think that's what Ginny was really going to say, Percy being up to something?"

"Could be," James agreed, "it would make her nervous about ratting out one brother to another anyways."

Harry was frowning, knowing deep down this was not the thing Ginny had wanted to say, but having only the vaguest of feelings about this subject with Percy. As always, he had nothing to go on, so more frustrated with himself then anything, he said nothing.

"You know for some odd reason, I don't believe him," Remus chuckled.

"Of course you wouldn't," Lily sighed.

"Don't even," James chided, "you'd be just as involved in this as Harry."

Lily couldn't deny that, she just wished her son wasn't!

"That was one of the most depressing sentences in this book," Remus frowned.

Sirius snorted with mirth.

"Which no one was surprised about I'm sure," Sirius laughed.

Lily released an explosive breath as she said, "while I agree it must be extremely hard on the teachers to have to escort students across the castle like that, honestly how they're pulling it off is a miracle, but it's far from 'hardly worth the trouble'. Those students really do need to feel secure."

"I feel for the other teachers," Remus agreed, "and I think Lockhart's official job should just be escorting all the students about. It's not like he's of any use in the classroom."

"Probably asleep in a nook," Sirius muttered.

"You'd think by now he'd realize he's been wrong every other time," Remus snapped, "and he'd just shut up."

"That would imply a level of intelligence, which he will never grasp," James disagreed.

"Twat," Sirius muttered.

Lily almost did the same thing as she looked up and around at him in surprise, but at once the other three boys broke into wide grins, James praising, "well played, Harry."

"I don't get it," Lily said, sounding frustrated she had to admit this, "what are you agreeing with him for?"

"Harry wants to sneak away without adult supervision," Sirius explained, surprisingly without any mocking in his tone. Then again, Sirius was always willing to corrupt, so in his mind he was doing an important job in educating Lily of this concept. "So, he's flattering this idiot. I'm positive that if Harry does it right, and I have every confidence he will, Lockhart will abandon them and the rest of the class will go to History of Magic without their escort."

"Leaving Harry and Ron a chance to sneak off to Myrtle's bathroom," Remus finished with a smug grin at Lily's astounded look. After looking around at all the boys for a moment more, she shook her head in fondness and said, "yes well, I guess there's no harm in it."

"How would you have snuck in there then?" James prompted, "we all know you'd want to as well."

She sat there appraising him for a moment before finally responding, "well first off, since I am a girl it would make far more sense for me to be around. Also, I most likely would have done what none of you boys have even thought of doing."

"And what's that?" Sirius asked just a bit pompously. Finding it hard to believe goody two-shoes Lily could come up with something he couldn't in the act of sneaking around the school.

"I'd tell a teacher why I was going," she informed him pleasantly, waiting one moment to grin at his shocked look and explaining, "the teachers are there to help. If I had any kind of suspicion, like Myrtle might have some kind of answer to help, I would have gone to McGonagall."

"How did you find out this stuff then?" James demanded. "Would you honestly go in telling her you broke school rules to find this stuff out."

"Well there's the main difference in us," Lily finally said, "I might have looked into this like every other kid in the school, but I never would have dreamed of going to the lengths Harry had, or even you lot I'm sure. So me finding this out is pure theoretical. To find out about Myrtle, I'd never have travelled into the forest, or even spoken to her like you seemed to, so it's a moot point."

"Too true," Remus chuckled, none of them able to deny it. Lily shrugged as she made to move on.

"Idiotic jerk," Remus huffed under his breath.

"More like fix his hair," Sirius snorted in disgust.

Sirius blinked a few times before laughing, not regretting having mimicked Ron at all.

"Damn," James winced, "there's that bad luck we were missing."

"Which teacher was it," Sirius asked anxiously.

"At least it wasn't Snape," Remus sighed.

"Can only imagine what you're going to tell her though," James said wearily.

"Stuttering is not helping your case," Sirius said as if Ron was here listening.

"He panicked," Harry defended.

"And what were you doing?" James asked curiously.

Before Harry could answer, Lily read.

"Aw," Lily cooed.

"Lily, you know that's not true," James laughed.

"Yes, but it was still sweet that's what came out." Lily grinned down at her son, the boy not really understanding that look. Of course he would have gone to see his friend as often as he could if they had been allowed in the hospital wing. This also wasn't the first time he'd seen that look, but Lily was already going on before he had a chance to ask.

"Subtle," Remus chuckled, "I'm sure Ron staring at you made that plenty believable."

"That was always a sure fire way to get out of trouble with her," Sirius grinned, "tell her we were sneaking up to see Remus in the hospital wing."

"Granted, it didn't always work," James chuckled, "but since this is the first time Harry's said that, I think she just might let you get away with it this time."

Very curious now, Lily read.

"Aw," Lily beamed.

"Wow, she never cried when we said that," James said in surprise.

"Yes well, I think she got sick of hearing it after the fifth time," Sirius snorted.

"Yes," Remus cried, bouncing with joy.

"You are all far too okay with Harry lying to a teacher," Lily told them, unable to keep a smile off her face as well. Even she couldn't deny Harry wasn't doing anything too wrong right here.

"I swear Evans, you want your son to be a saint," Sirius snarked.

"Potter," James corrected with a frown, causing everyone else to laugh.

Harry frowned thoughtfully, knowing without having to ask that Sirius had just called his mom by her maiden name, perhaps it had been her nickname in school?

"Favourite teacher," James grinned.

"She really is an old softie," Sirius agreed.

"So they can't hear us, or anything?" Harry asked sadly.

"Well, I've never known anyone to be petrified by a basilisk", Lily frowned, "but the experience of being frozen is simply going cold all over and then blacking out until you're revived. I imagine it's the same thing here."

James couldn't help a snort of mirth at that mental image.

"Thankfully, that's not how it works, otherwise this would have been a lot worse," Remus shrugged.

All five exchanged very curious looks as Sirius said, "they said she was found outside the library, which is where she was heading. Was she leaving the library?"

"Are you saying Hermione ripped up a book?" James snorted, "I doubt that."

"Most likely, she found whatever she had gone there for, and copied the actual page," Remus added.

"I love it when we're right," James grinned.

"Probably because it happens too rarely," Lily told him pleasantly.

James frowned at her but ignored the jab.

"So that's what she figured out," Remus grinned.

"Congrats, you got there before her," Sirius laughed.

"While I'm happy Harry's going to have his answer in the book, it still doesn't explain any of my other questions," James huffed. "How's it getting around, and more importantly, who's controlling it?"

"And what's its connection to Harry," Lily reminded, "I still don't really buy the coincidence that Harry's either known every victim, or found them."

"I don't appreciate that reminder," James informed her, "but I agree, that needs to be an answer, soon."

"Still can't figure out how you got a Basilisk out of that info," Sirius told Remus.

He shrugged and said, "All the clues from the last sentence were there, I was just stumped by its petrification. Then as more victims kept cropping up, lucky guess", he finally trailed off.

"Oh give yourself some credit," James snorted, "we never would have guessed that they were seeing reflections of its eyes."

They all churned that over in their mind as Sirius said, "Err, but the pipes aren't exactly big enough to hold a huge snake."

"Well, maybe the pipes are as magical as the rest of the school," Lily offered, puzzling it aloud, "plenty of things in the castle magically expand to compensate for what's passing through it. It could make sense I suppose."

"But that doesn't explain, I mean how's it getting out of the pipes?" James asked. "Coming out of the toilets? Again, would it even fit?"

They all felt rather stumped, and wondered if Hermione even had the right answer to that, but they also acknowledged they didn't have any better kind of answer.

"You got there quick," Remus approved.

"Once it was all laid out like that, it was like a giant puzzle just clicked together," Harry grinned.

"Ron couldn't make that one on his own?" Sirius demanded. "He was there for that one."

"So he doesn't remember every detail, leave him be," Lily shot back.

"I don't know, it's a theory I guess," Sirius shrugged.

"More than we had," Remus agreed.

Harry's eyes lit up like Christmas as he said, "Yes! That was it! I knew there was something about Myrtle I didn't remember."

He looked around at all of them to see faces that were nearly as frozen as Hermione's had been.

"Err, guys?" Harry asked cautiously.

"We, are idiots," James broke first, running his hand through his hair in agitation.

"How did I not put that together!" Sirius demanded of himself. "We were even joking earlier about how Myrtle haunts bathrooms, and died in a bathroom!"

"Well, err," Harry began, before pressing on, "I mean, it was a wild guess. Ron just guessed right," he finished while giving Remus an obvious look.

They were all still huffing and grumbling that they hadn't figured this out, but really what more could they say?

"At least we got that part," Lily muttered.

"Yes," the four of them said at once, giving Harry a very suspicious look, James adding, "why would you do anything else?"

Harry just shrugged, fighting something that was trying to crop up in his mind. He had thought something important happened today, but he'd thought it had to do with Ginny? Had he been wrong, and it was Hermione who had done something significant today? By now though, he knew better than to pry into those memories to make sense of them. In answer to their question, he just shrugged.

"Oh no," Remus groaned.

"Not another attack," Lily said, biting at her lip.

"They're not going to listen to you now," Sirius huffed, "they're just going to ship you off to the dormitory without hearing a word."

"Well then they'll just have to try again tomorrow, when it's a bit calmer." James said forcefully, pointedly ignoring the look Harry was giving him. James was lying to himself, that look meant what he said wasn't going to happen, and he was growing rather weary of it. Still, his verbal hopes were better than his mental images of his son going down and trying to find some psycho who had control of a giant man eating snake. Granted, Harry was more in danger from the person then the beast, but it was far from a pleasant thing to be thinking.

Harry couldn't help it, he was clenching up and feeling the urge to vomit as he tried to stem off his memories. 'Something bad is about to happen' his mind kept screaming, but he knew if he found out now it would cost him dearly, and the pain he was feeling now would be nothing. So taking long, deep breaths he tried his hardest to ignore his now impending sense of doom.

"Really?" Remus asked, sounding almost half hysterical. He too had been trying his hardest not to picture Harry and Ron deciding to take it upon themselves, again, and go down into the Chamber. "You're going to spy on the teachers? In their coat closet?"

"Points for originality," Sirius said weakly.

Lily felt as if she were suddenly speaking through numb lips. Her vision tunneled, and the book nearly fell out of her grip. Glancing up she saw Harry in much the same shape.

The air in the room seemed to freeze over, and no one wanted to ask. Lily had the sudden desire to toss the book away from her so that she herself wouldn't have to find out, because she didn't want to know the answer. It didn't matter if she (by that meaning Harry) knew of this student or not, whoever it was she genuinely did not want to hear about it. Yet she had the book, and Harry's tortured expression as he tried to stave away the memories were so much worse than anything she herself would feel just by finding out. So she pushed forward.

James blinked suddenly in surprise, though he was sure he was the only one who did. Surprisingly even Lily was still more intent on finding out which student had really died this time then such a random detail as this.

All five of them shivered, hating that message and the mental image it provided, hating this monster for existing, hating this heir above all others for causing all of this.

Harry released a breath he'd been holding since McGonagall had stepped into that room. Unbidden tears began stinging at the corner of his eyes.

Emotions so powerful there was no way he had been feeling them at twelve years old, because he hadn't known Ginny that well then, had rarely even thought of her. Just, Ron's little sister.

What he was feeling in this moment was as if something had reached in and torn out his heart and was trampling all over it. Why though? Of course he liked Ginny, but what had happened from his second year to now that made him feel as if someone he couldn't live without had been taken away? Was it possible, could Ginny really still be alive and he got to know her after this year?

Questions and emotions were pounding through him with such intensity it took him far too long to realize the others were trying very hard to get his attention.

It took a very sharp slap to the face for his vision to finally blur back into focus, and for a moment he had the odd impression of looking into a mirror before the other features registered, and his Dad was apologizing and trying to explain, but Harry was still looking back to the book as if it had just told him his first born child had died...

"Harry!" His Mom's voice finally sunk into the void, and he took about as long to focus back on her. As soon as he recognized who it was, his eyes automatically began straying towards the books but then his mother continued speaking, taking those precious seconds to get completely through to him, "-need to focus on the here and now. Whatever you're trying to block out, it will help if you focus on us-"

He shook his head from side to side, hard enough that his glasses nearly flew off, as he finally responded, "That's not right, Ginny's not dead! But she's in trouble, or something really bad is happening, I think-" he made to get up from the couch and head to the kitchen, but a very hard hand was suddenly on his shoulder and seemed determined to keep him in place so that his dad was once again in his space and saying, "Ginny's not here son. Whatever you're remembering, she's not here right now. You need to make sure you're not prying too far ahead-"

"Sounds like really far ahead," a ghost's voice offered.

Harry's head jerked back around to the rest of the room, his eyes landing on the speaker, Sirius. His eyes widened with recognition, and for a moment confusion, before finally they all saw at once as his conscious settled down once more to the here and now. He was still glancing back and forth to the kitchen and the book but it was clear he no longer had the same mind set he'd had.

After that disaster, she was almost afraid to ask, but in the same way she had hoped continuing to read would help, she hoped there continuing to talk to him would ease whatever lingering unease he was still carrying, so she asked, "Harry dear, what was that? It wasn't like anything that's happened to you yet?"

Harry was biting at his lip, but he was settling back now and answered in a much more intelligible voice, "I-I don't know. It wasn't like before, where I was just trying to remember what happened later in this book, where I remembered it wasn't Snape. It was like I wasn't even here, that something else was happening and I had to help-" he broke off in frustration and gave one more frustrated look back at the place he had appeared, but then slumped back in defeat, "but it's gone now."

Realizing the danger had passed, Remus and Sirius finally backed away from the couch back to their place, once settled Remus offered, "it seems your memories were trying to advance you to what was going on before you arrived here. It clearly didn't have the same side effect as accessing your memories like you were trying to on purpose. This seems more like a reflex, the book made your body react to something else completely different."

Harry nodded, trying to follow this, but his head was still pounding furiously. He was right though, Harry felt twitchy all over. Like he should be springing into action, and the thought of Ginny dying had caused this, which meant that somewhere in his time, had something happened to Ginny? Something to cause him to react so violently? He tried to explain all of this, even the stuff about how he was so sure his feelings for Ginny were more than just Ron's little sister, but no one really had any more answers than he did.

Sighing in frustration but accepting he could do nothing for now, he turned to his mother and politely asked her to continue. Lily felt weary now, not ever wanting to see her son reacting like that again. It had been scary, her boy reaching for his wand, a look of furious rage on his features, but when James had slapped him his features had gone to that of confusion. Her husband had clearly shocked her boy out of whatever he was trying to remember, and she was worried if Harry heard any more about this he would relapse. What choice did she have though, she could hardly stop here! No, they would just have to do what they had always done from the moment she'd conceived, look after their boy, and help when they could. Sucking in one more breath to steady herself, she read.

"A very appropriate reaction," Sirius said wearily, still eyeing Harry like at any second he was going to leap up and really attack something this time.

"I like his reaction better than mine," Harry muttered, crossing his arms and still frustrated with himself. He had no idea his body had been reacting in such a violent way, all he had been aware of was the emotions.

"What?" Remus yelped in shock, "but-" he broke off when he realized he could say nothing to the contrary. In record, no student had ever died at this school, let alone in this manner. Myrtle, his mind reminded him, then he added on that most likely the school hadn't been closed then because Riddle had framed Hagrid. Having been given a culprit, the school had clearly felt safe enough to continue. "Oh Harry no," he moaned, giving his little cub a tragic look.

Harry didn't bother to deny what he was sure they were all thinking, because he was thinking the exact same thing as well. Finally his entire body had settled, his calm mother's voice had greatly helped with this, and he was back to relying on his gut for answers to this story. Two things now stood out clearly. Ginny wasn't dead, he had no doubts about this, in this book anyways, and he was going to go and rescue her. He and Ron were going to go into the Chamber and confront the heir of Slytherin. While his twelve-year-old self was still stuck on the fact that he thought Ginny was dead, Harry now knew better and he had worked out what he knew without a doubt he would do. Not go back to living full time with the Dursleys, and if there was a barest chance she had been alive he would have levelled the castle itself to find her, even then.

Having already come to those conclusions back when Harry and Ron had discovered where the Chamber was, James gently told Lily to keep going this time, might as well get it over with.

"And I thought this day couldn't get any worse," Sirius muttered.

"Wouldn't surprise me one bit," Remus sniffed, "he comes flaunting in there after that kind of news."

"To curse him I hope," James muttered under his breath.

"Wait what?" The four boys started in confusion, but Lily had a vindictive smile on her face. She had a feeling she knew where he was going with this, so pushed on eagerly.

"Oh I'm sure he did," Sirius said, brightening up at once as he caught on.

"Wow, somehow, unbelievably, I have actually liked Snape in this book more than I've hated him," James said, sounding more confused than anything.

"Guess it's 'cause we've found someone to hate equally," Remus chuckled darkly, "if not a bit more."

"I'll take that for what it is," Lily giggled slightly.

"Right, sure he has" James snorted.

"And gave plenty of extraordinarily uselessly vague hints as well," Remus agreed in a sing-song voice.

"I've got to agree with James on this one," Sirius grinned vindictively, "he's certainly been more tolerable in this book if he keeps bashing Lockhart like this."

"That's the joy of this," Lily beamed, "they understand everything far better then you."

"I'd bawl my eyes out if they did," Remus snorted in disgust.

"Ha," Harry huffed under his breath, remembering this vividly.

"For the last time hopefully," Sirius grumbled.

Harry shuddered again, knowing deep down that Hogwarts didn't really close, but still unable to stand the very idea almost as much as the image of Ginny- he cut his mind off quickly, forcing his ears to focus in on his Mom instead of treading back that way.

Since none of the four of them wanted to believe the closing of that school anymore then Harry, no one interrupted with speculation.

"An owl?" James said, looking faint. "Surely the teachers have told them something long before that owl? Besides, how would you even write that?!"

"I'm sure you were right the first time," Lily said patiently, "and the teachers informed them already."

"Must be," Remus nodded, a steely look coming over his face as he tried to allow himself to begin questioning this, now that it was clear Harry seemed back to normal, at least for now. "She was a pureblood, so this isn't anything to do with its normal target. No, Ron must be right and she saw or figured out something, and possibly told the wrong person, or got caught by the heir themselves."

"I'm honestly kind of curious how they even knew it was Ginny right off the bat," Sirius said slowly, still giving Harry cautious glances to make sure he didn't freak out again. "There wasn't a head count, all the students weren't even in the dorms when this happened."

"It was in the middle of lessons," Remus agreed, "so I would have thought McGonagall would be in a class as well. There's no way all the students were counted and they realized Ginny was missing from every girl who could have just not been where they were supposed to be."

"Maybe McGonagall hadn't said the message verbatim," James offered as he turned it all over in his head. "After all, she had to be prompted to tell which student it was missing, maybe the message said it and McGonagall just hadn't been able to say it yet. She may have come across it while leading a student to the bathroom in the middle of class or something."

Whether the other two boys agreed with him or had something else to offer, Lily interrupted with, "can we not." She was shooting furtive looks at Harry, who seemed alright again, maybe a little paler and fidgety than normal, but she still didn't want to linger on this subject. "Just let me read, I really don't think I can stand speculating. Harry seems confident he figures it all out in the end."

Harry nodded silently at his mother's words, and Remus clipped his mouth shut in resignation. Talking helped him think, but it clearly wasn't helping anyone else right now.

Harry nodded, not enjoying these feelings and memories returning one bit.

Harry released a frustrated breath. She was alive, he knew it, but how? His mind was the blank and empty space it had been before, he had no more answers to comfort himself now than he did for his best friend then.

"Wait, what?" James yelped.

"You must be joking Lily," Remus demanded, "hell, I wouldn't have said anything if he'd said Snape just then, but him?"

Harry just shrugged and said, "we were afraid if we went to McGonagall, or any other teacher, we'd just be told to go back to the common room and that we were being ridiculous like last year. At least Lockhart would give us a chance and listen to our ideas."

All four of them blanched, but deep down recognized they couldn't deny this. Last year when Harry and his friends had been right and gone for help at the height of danger, no one had raised a hand and so they had clearly come to that same conclusion this year. It was yet another harsh reminder that this world was a one without them, for they knew without a doubt if any of them had been there for their boy he would have known he could turn to them for help.

Agreeing with the boy's logic, Lily just decided to keep reading, and hoping Lockhart might offer something useful before her son decided this teacher was of no more help than any other, and heading down into the Chamber itself.

"Can't blame them one bit," Sirius nodded.

"Is he... making a run for it?" Remus asked, sounding mostly confused.

James released a suffering sigh as he said, "can't say I'm surprised. Wasn't a secret he was a fraud, so when finally put in the face of danger, he bolt's."

Sirius called him a couple of colourful words before saying in more sain tones, "still the most useless bugger to ever enter this castle. Who the bloody hell runs away at a moment like this?"

"Someone who doesn't even know how to control pixies," Lily muttered, before beginning to read again loudly so no one could continue this pointless verbal barrage.

"Is that what he's going with?" Remus demanded, a rather nasty sneer beginning to flicker across his face. Of all the crummy teachers the school had been reduced to because of this stupid curse, this useless lump was the most insulting. Honestly if he sat there and weighed them, Quirrell was worse, but this guy was hardly any better.

"Any of the teachers in that school would do more good then that idiot," James scoffed, "I think they should all just pull together and share the job."

"That could be interesting," Sirius agreed.

"And probably not going to happen," Lily sighed.

"My poor boy," Lily said sadly, "I thought you'd worked out he made all of that stuff up?"

"I was mad," Harry huffed, "and I thought there must be some truth to it, all the details and such."

"His imagination must have filled in the blanks from whatever sources he got those few facts from," Sirius huffed.

Lily's brows shot into her hairline as she finished that sentence, before looking up and around and seeing the other's looking just as confused as her.

"Ah, what exactly does that mean?" Remus asked, cautiously at first. While he hated this lying buffoon, what he had just implied was something he would never have suspected, even of someone like Lockhart.

Lily swallowed hard before continuing.

"Okay," James drew the word out far past its normal syllable count in surprise, "glad to see we're on the same page."

"Yes, but I'm sure he's at least crediting them," Sirius said half-heartedly. "I mean come on, used them as a reference or, something. There's no way he could go around boasting these kinds of things, and those people wouldn't have said anything." Sirius didn't sound too sure of this, anymore then the others looked convinced.

"He what!" All five of them nearly screeched.

"But, he, how-" Remus spluttered.

"There's no way," Sirius shook his head frantically,"no way possible he could have absolutely pulled this off. Sadly, after his crummy actions this year, I do believe he did this. What I'm stuck on is, what about those people's families? Hell, what about the rest of the village who would have known someone else did these things?! He couldn't possibly go around changing every single person's memories, someone would notice!"

"This is ridiculous, it really is," James said, shaking his head from side to side, "how could you even enchant all those people? Merlin, I'm still stuck on how the bloody populace didn't figure all this out."

Remus and Lily were giving each other furtive looks, finally Lily saying, "well, I can think of one way. It's ghastly, and not exactly foolproof, but-"

"Well come on then," Sirius huffed, still eyeing the book with utter disdain.

"I'm wondering if he didn't enchant those books he published," she said hesitantly, as if waiting for someone to tell her she was crazy.

After a beat of silence, James released a huge breath and said, "No, I can see that. You're right Lily, it's not full proof, someone somewhere should have noticed, but I guess that one person wouldn't have been able to make themselves heard, especially if he's using a quarter of the spell's I'm thinking of-"

"Err, what spells?" Harry finally butted in, wanting a few details of what they were talking about.

Remus answered, "he could have done a few things. A compulsion charm, so that when you see his book you're curious enough to pick it up. Perhaps even a slight altering of a memory charm on the book, so that while you're reading it you wouldn't think to question any of the ridiculous details we've heard. My guess would be he gave these towns and villages 'first hand' copies so that the immediate people responsible for this wouldn't have questioned this..."

"How on earth could he get away with that?" Harry demanded, going a little wide-eyed.

"That's a good question," Sirius acknowledged, "books sold in the wizarding world go through rigorous testing of this nature, so that this very thing can't happen! How Lockhart slipped through and managed to pull this stunt off is beyond us."

"How come Ron and I weren't affected? Or the teachers for that matter," he pondered. "We were around those books all year and never had the inclination to read them."

"Magic isn't universal," James pointed out, "not every spell affects every person in the exact same way."

"Especially Charms," Lily added on, "they're the most finicky type of magic."

James nodded before continuing, "what I'd really like to know is if anyone has looked into this. We know for a fact the teachers haven't fallen into this, let alone Dumbledore!"

"Maybe they couldn't prove anything," Sirius offered, "after all, how would you be able to trace this back to its source, unless Lockhart himself told you. Everyone in those towns would be totally convinced Lockhart did it, depending on the time frame of his publishing the books and the actual event."

"This is disgusting," Lily grumbled, "I can't believe someone got away with this."

"Well, now they can't," Remus said, "we know what he's done, and he hasn't done it yet. So we'll keep an eye on Lockhart as he grows up. Personally, I've been wanting to visit this little Armenian Village myself anyways. Especially now that I know Lockhart must have been exaggerating the details of how he defeated that werewolf."

All of them nodded in conviction, more than determined to fix this magical catastrophe.*

"Probably the only spell he can successfully pull off," Remus muttered, unable to believe his hatred for this man had actually increased.

"You poor dear," Sirius sneered, "let me get you a drink so you can whine some more."

James however was frowning, suddenly giving both the book and Harry very concerned looks as he said, "ah, Harry, why's he telling you all this?"

Harry didn't understand at first, but the other's caught on at once, Lily saying, "oh come on James, don't be ridiculous," but she didn't sound any kind of convinced.

"What?" Harry asked, looking around at them.

"Harry, why would he go about telling you this? He must know you'd go and tell someone what he just told you, even he can't be that dumb," Remus said, his hands starting to fidget around in agitation.

Harry frowned a moment more before going wide-eyed and saying, "oh." His brow furrowed as he tried to puzzle out what happened, but then he shrugged and said, "you, you don't think he's the one who erased my memory and somehow sent me here do you?" Even as he said the words, he could feel how wrong they were.

That made them all take a step back. They hadn't really been thinking that far ahead, but then Sirius shook his head and said, "no, you were twelve when this happened. You're a hell of a lot older now. You can obviously retain memories you've relearend, so we were thinking he must have just erased the one memory of him telling you this."

Harry didn't think Sirius was any more right than him, but with nothing more to add on he let his mother keep going.

All five of them tensed up, the four adults feeling like drawing their own wands. Even having seen this coming, the very idea of anyone pointing a wand at their boy for any reason, especially one so wrong as to cover this bloke's ass for telling this himself, made their hackles raise.

Lily had to remind herself firmly in that moment that Lockhart was still just a school student, and it would be wrong to go and kill him now.

Harry looked rather frustrated, more so even then when this had happened to him. With his memories already having been taken away, he didn't appreciate the idea one bit of anyone else tampering with his mind.

"'Atta boy!" They all crowed.

"You've got some great reflexes kid," Sirius praised, "cursing him, when he even had his wand out first!"

"It's inherited," James grinned, ruffling up his son's hair.

"Ha," Lily huffed under her breath, appreciating the irony that this was the second time his own wand had been thrown out the window by someone else.

"Well, that was enlightening," Lily grinned at Harry, "but I must ask, what do you plan to do with him now?" While the others might have been distracted by the revelation of Lockhart's true colours, she was still stuck on what had driven the boys there in the first place.

"You're not going to like the answer," Harry told them, his grin fading slightly.

That made the others frown in concern, Remus saying, "so, I'm guessing this didn't deter you from going into the Chamber then?"

Harry's silence was all the answer they needed. Feeling a mounting sense of dread, Lily felt like she was reading her own doom. Her little Hare Bear going into the arms of something that had managed to scare every other teacher and student in this school.

"Just tie him up and go get McGonagall," James offered weakly, "tell her what he told you. I'm sure she'll make a proper inquiry."

Harry didn't even deign that with an answer, they all knew his earlier reason for avoiding the other teachers still applied, hell a teacher had basically just tried to attack them! It was honestly no surprise Harry felt he had to take care of this matter on his own, it's not as if he really had anyone else.

"Well that's a fun idea anyways," James chuckled darkly, "push him in first to see what happens."

Harry released a snort of mirth, having a funny feeling his dad was right on the mark with that one.

"Ghost's always appreciate any kind of attention," Remus agreed absentmindedly, still pondering the details of the Chamber being around Myrtle's bathroom. How had no one ever found it in there? How come Myrtle herself didn't know, and told someone? Surely she would have seen the giant snake making appearances inside her bathroom and told someone? Why hadn't they themselves worked out it was a Basilisk in their younger years because of the way Myrtle described her death? 'Great big yellow eyes', why would a ghost exaggerate that!?

It took a very sharp poke from Sirius for Remus to drag himself out of his endless supply of questions and to realize he had been so far phased out. "Can't blame yourself too much Moony," James said bracingly, "none of us figured this out either. We didn't have the same clues as Harry did at his age."

"Yes but we did now," Lily argued, rather frustrated with this mess herself, "and Harry still worked out where the Chamber was before us."

"Like I said," Harry tried again, "it was more a lucky guess than anything. It was the pipes thing that made me think of it. It was the fact that Myrtle died in the bathroom, and the pipes clue Hermione had just left us-" he trailed off with a sheepish shrug.

Lily and Remus acknowledged they'd just have to let the matter go. The two of them never would have guessed such a thing, but James and Sirius were nodding along like this made perfect sense to them. Remus chuckled slightly as he acknowledged one of the great things about their little group, and the world in general, was that no two people thought the same. It takes combined efforts of different mind sets to make anything happen. Example, The Marauders and their fantastic pranking.

Harry, Ron, and Hermione together seemed more than capable of dealing with issues in this school that the teachers and Headmaster himself either couldn't, or wouldn't.

"That was her name," Sirius muttered to himself under his breath, that random detail having bothered him when he couldn't remember it earlier.

"That's almost per word what she told us," James remembered.

"We had been so sure she was exaggerating the 'yellow eyes' bit," Sirius snorted, "and just didn't want to admit she'd done something stupid."

"Like what?" Lily snorted. "Why would she even make something like that up."

"Ghosts do it all the time," Remus shrugged, "they love exaggerating the details of their death, making it more dramatic."

The three boys rolled their eyes, beyond frustrated they'd never thought to ask that question themselves. Perhaps if they had, they'd have discovered the Chamber same as Harry.

"That's it," Sirius scoffed, "the entrance really was in a girl's loo? How on earth did Slytherin come up with that?"

"Well the school isn't exactly the same as when it first came into construction," Lily offered. At the perplexed look all the boys gave her, she grinned and explained, "well, the school was much smaller back then. Only three stories high or something, but as more students began coming, they kept adding more to the building itself. It would often magically expand itself to make accommodations for the inflating student population, and some days the rooms themselves would transfigure to adjust accordingly. It took all four of the original founders working deeply complex magic into the stones of the school for these charms to still be in effect to this day."

"So you're saying that, when Slytherin built this, it really could have just been an empty classroom, or a closet?" Remus asked.

"Or even his own private office," Lily agreed.

"I love that you know all that," James told her, giving her a bright-eyed look.

Lily just grinned back, taking the compliment in stride.

"That would make sense," Remus nodded, "only a Parseltongue could get in. Didn't one of the students suggest that earlier?"

"Yeah," Sirius said in remembrance, "it was either that Finnigan kid, or Thomas, one of them in Harry's year. He said something like 'only Slytherin's true heir could open it.' Since Parselmouths, or most of them-" he quickly corrected, giving Harry a smile, "only inherit the ability through the blood line, he was basically right."

"I think they both said something to the same effect," James offered.

"Well you can go back and check later if you really want to," Lily snorted in amusement.**

"That is so cool," Remus said, genuinely fascinated by this phenomena, "perhaps with practice you really could simply say it whenever you chose."

Harry shrugged, still more perturbed than anything he could speak a language he didn't even know.

All five of them released a shaky breath. Harry had already said what he was going to do, but the act of doing it was still almost too awful to consider. While Harry wasn't in too much danger from the Basilisk if he could control it, still an untested theory so they weren't even one hundred percent behind this, the idea that the true heir, the one who had been going around trying to kill students this year, could be down there even now with Ginny wasn't any kind of comforting. Still, the four of them recognized it would do them no good to point this out to Harry now, so they remained silent and let Lily keep reading.

Harry nodded with a conviction that was just as strong now as it had been then.

Sirius released a bark-like laughter, more than pleased James' dark little joke had come true.

"Make me feel a little better for trying to curse them," James said pleasantly.

"You were supposed to wait a few moments to make sure you didn't hear screaming," Remus told him seriously.

Harry just shrugged, he'd made Lockhart go down first more out of vindictive pleasure, kind of like his dad he realized. But he wouldn't hesitate any more than he could afford if Ginny was down there.

"I am so jealous we never found this," Sirius said, and Lily was stunned to hear he really meant it! "This isn't even on the map- ouch," he cut himself off, glaring at James who had chucked a pillow at him to shut him up.

"What map?" Harry asked curiously, before Lily could snap at Sirius for how stupid he was being.

James gave Sirius the stank eye before saying, "We-" and he paused to gesture at the other two boys, "made a map of the school once. I was going to tell you about it when I figured out what had happened to it."

Harry very dearly wanted to remember something all of a sudden, but the thought disappeared at once. Lily still looked like she wanted to tell Sirius he was being an idiot, but James was giving her a very obvious 'please keep reading' look so she acquiesced for now.

"I've just thought of something," Sirius said, frowning now, "Ron still doesn't have a proper wand."

The others frowned, looking truly upset by this now. "Perhaps, instead of chucking it out the window, Ron should have just kept Lockhart's," Remus said, realizing already there was no good pointing this out now. "It wouldn't work as good as his own, but it's better than one that backfires."

Harry suddenly had a very funny feeling, the same one in fact he'd had back at the beginning of the year. For some odd reason, he was very grateful for Ron's messed up wand. He tried explaining this odd feeling to the others, but none of them had any real idea why this could be.

"Pleasant," Lily murmured, wrinkling her nose in distaste.

They all shuttered at this, Harry hardest of all.

"Oh no," James groaned. He had been hoping for some inexplicable reason that Harry and Ron would simply find Ginny curled up in a corner, grab her and get out of there without any kind of confrontation. Why on earth were these books determined to throw his son into the worst possible outcomes!

Lily didn't give anyone else the chance to comment, reading almost feverishly.

"Empty," Sirius breathed with relief.

"It's just moulted," Remus agreed.

"Gross," Lily said, "but hopefully that's the only part of the snake they come across."

James was rubbing his heart and looking at the book with trepidation, noting Harry's look that very clearly disagreed with Lily's statement.

Remus made a choking noise of disgust. Of all the useless people to be with Harry right then! The injustice that it wasn't his own parents, or even he or Sirius, but this useless twat stung deeper than he was expecting in that moment.

"He what!" Sirius snarled.

"I hope when you find Ginny, you leave Lockhart in her place," James snarled.

"That was a little dark," Harry said, frowning at his dad, though they all noticed there wasn't any real heat behind the words. Harry probably thought his dad was just kidding.

"He deserves it for what he's trying to do," James grumbled, not looking very repentant. Then his face brightened, he looked as if Christmas had just come early.

"What's that face then?" Remus asked eagerly.

"Lockhart's got Ron's broken wand," he explained, now full blown grinning, "and if my guess is correct. He's going to try and erase their memories again, come up with some cock-and-bull story. Which won't work out too well-"

"When the wand backfires," Sirius finished with relish.

"Whelp, guess now we know why you appreciated that broken wand so much," Lily snickered. She looked, not quite eager, but perhaps less like reading her own death as she went to find out what really happened.

Remus looked dearly like he wanted to point out every flaw in that awful story, but Lily wasn't giving him the chance. She was more infuriated then anything that once again someone was pointing a wand in her son's face, aiming to harm!

"Damn," Sirius let out a low, throaty whistle, "I'm guessing the wand really did explode that time."

"I think, someone explained it later or something," Harry said, unable to properly recall the memory now, "but yeah, I think you're right."

"Well, that's something to look forward to," James said bracingly.

"Oh, crap! Is Ron okay!" James all but yelled.

Lily wasn't even going to wait for Harry to strain himself for an answer, she had already glanced down the page while James was yelling and soothed Harry by saying.

They all released a breath of relief this time, not wanting Ron hurt again like he had last year, this time possibly worse.

"Far kinder than I would have been," Sirius huffed.

"Very glad you didn't try it then," Remus said, frowning deeply in concern as he tried to work out a proper way to do this.

Lily dearly wanted to pause just so she could bite at her lip. She didn't want Harry to have to go in alone and face this threat by himself! Of course, that was implying she wanted Ron to go with him, and possibly endanger himself as well, then she forced herself to go on. No since in dreading on it now.

"I'm glad you didn't finish that sentence," Sirius muttered, "cause I didn't want to hear the end of it."

"How'd that work out for you?" James asked weakly.

"I'm going to guess not very well," Harry said, trying to force a smile onto his face now.

"What's the point of that?" Sirius grumbled under his breath, not really expecting an answer. "Someone already had to do that once to get down, was the next door really necessary?"

As predicted, Lily just ignored him. "That's the end of the chapter," Lily said, almost in relief as much as dread she passed the book along to James.

* * *

*This chapter more than any other blew my mind in the whole series. I understand the logic (cruel as it is) in Lockhart erasing those poor people's memories so that he could take credit for it, but what about the other people! The village that this Warlock supposedly saved, they never raised protest that Lockhart wasn't the one who saved them? What about the families of these poor people, Lockhart couldn't have possibly changed and erased memories of every instance of those books?! What on earth did he do to make it so no one stinking ever questioned any of this? My reason for this is probably not true, surely someone would have noticed the spell placed on those books, but I've never seen anyone try and explain away this mess so I did it myself in the best way I knew how. Hope you didn't think it was too out there. Really long rant for something that wasn't even too big a deal in the grand scheme of the story...hope you enjoyed!

**Both Dean Thomas, and Seamus Finnigan said something to the same effect, I did go back and check because I'm a nit-picky butthead. Since I remembered them saying it while typing this, I decided someone in the story could remember this too.


	17. THE HEIR OF SLYTHERIN

James kind of got the worst chapter on this, again, didn't he?

* * *

James began, feeling like ice was trying to freeze him over. He really didn't want this chapter, but he also was dying to know what on earth had happened to his son down there. Steeling himself, he forced out.

"The Basilisk still isn't my biggest concern right now," Remus grumbled, "I want to know who dragged Ginny down there, who's been doing this stuff all year!"

Harry just looked at him miserably, as hungry for those answers as any of them.

Then he nodded to himself, this question was still number one to him. Despite his gut feeling that Ginny was okay, in this particular moment anyway, he still had no idea what to make of that other memory flash, he desperately wanted to hear the book confirm this.

"Creepy," Sirius said, drawing the word out for emphasis.

James bleakly remembered just a few hours ago when he'd made a joking comment that he hoped Harry found this place. It was something new, a part of the school's history that hardly anybody would have known about. He'd wanted his son to find something like that, now he just wanted to drag him out of there as fast as possible.

All three boys couldn't help but release a snort of mirth at the beginning of that description. All five of them had a very good guess that this statue was of Salazar Slytherin, and the three boys were picturing someone walking up and calling him a monkey to his face.

The dry humour only lasted for a moment, but it was appreciated nonetheless in the tense silence. As much as they were all praying Harry would simply find Ginny and get out of there without running into anything, if history had taught them anything so far, Harry's life wasn't going to be that easy.

"Ginny," they all breathed, Harry in relief, the others with trepidation.

So Harry had found Ginny like they were hoping, but the fact that she was face down meant absolutely nothing good. Could Harry's gut reactions finally be wrong, and the poor girl was already dead? James wasn't going to sit around speculating, he blasted on.

"You did what!" The four of them screamed. It must have been quite a racket, even upstairs, because the baby went off again. Gently placing the book aside, James blasted off to the stairs, while Lily demanded, "Harry, he was joking right? You didn't really-"

Harry didn't even begin to deny it, his abashed face was all the answer they needed. His only defence was, "I'm sorry. I panicked, it was in my hand and I wanted both hands to-" he trailed off giving a helpless shrug, "I know now it was stupid."

"At least you recognize that," Remus sighed, flopping back against the couch.

"Honestly, remind me again why we don't have an elementary wand-safety class?" Sirius demanded. "Don't put your wand in your back pocket, don't toss it around like a stick, don't go waving it around like a toy." He said all this in a very huffy tone of voice, clearly mimicking someone Harry couldn't place as he continued in his normal tone, "I didn't even like her and I listened to those stupid rules."

"You can't call them stupid and then say they're needed," Lily pointed out as James came back down the stairs, childless and only slightly less grumpy than when he left.

"I thought you said you put a silencing charm on his room?" He directed at Sirius, pretty sure he was the last one to be up there.

"I did," he defended at once.

"Well it must have worn off then," he sighed, flopping back into his spot, "good lord how long have we been at this?" He demanded of nothing, rubbing at his eyes, then directing at Harry, "I assume they all told you why that was stupid then?"

"We didn't have to," Lily defended, "he recognized it was stupid himself."

"Atta boy," James said, grinning weakly, "guess I can't blame you too much. You were in a pretty awful situation."

"Merlin," Sirius said in shock, causing the three of them to turn their attention to the other two, "has anyone seen the time? We've been at this all day, it's no wonder the charm wore off."

James really did check his own watch then and let out a low, throaty whistle while saying, "damn, we missed dinner."

Lily released a snort of mirth before saying, "well, we'll have a late one then. I don't want to delay this any longer, and I want Harry out of there. So keep reading James."

He shrugged, in no mood to argue the point, and began a little more easily now that he'd had time to clear his head.

All five of them shivered in disgust. The four of them never having even met Ginny, and still horrified at the mental image of the dead girl. Harry felt sick inside, even knowing it wasn't true, that was one memory he would gladly erase away all over again.

They all started then, not having expected that. They had thought whoever had dragged Ginny down there must be with the Basilisk, so if someone was talking to Harry then they didn't need the book to tell them something really awful was about to happen.

"You didn't recognize him?" Sirius asked, puzzled at once that a name hadn't been in there.

"He must be someone at the school though," Remus said, brow furrowing in confusion. "Admittedly we haven't come across anyone this year who it could be, but no one but the students and staff are in the school enough for him to not stick out and be suspicious."

Harry was frowning for a different reason this time, somehow knowing the answer was going to be far weirder than anyone would see coming.

This just piqued their interest even more. By that description, it clearly meant whoever this boy was, he was wasn't really there. But they'd never heard of this type of communication before, which still didn't bode well for Harry.

"Wha-" James began, triple checking that he had read that right.

"That arse who framed Hagrid all those years ago?" Sirius demanded. "You must be joking?"

Harry shook his head sadly from side to side, saying aloud, "no, it was him, or else he has a twin brother who looks and sounds just like him."

"But, fifty years later?" Remus demanded. "I don't care about genetics, that can't be the same person, or even his son. No one looks exactly like someone else. This isn't possible, he still wouldn't look the same."

"I think you're all missing the point," Lily whispered, eyeing the book with high trepidation, "which is, why is he down there with Harry?"

That brought them up short. The odd realization that some kid who still looked the same fifty years later was weird, which had derailed them from what Lily had reminded them. After a drawn out pause, James finally asked, "how?"

"With any luck, he'll explain, 'cause I've got nothing," Harry sighed, looking longingly to the book. He was very sure that the headache that was pounding away at him would finally be at ease after this horrid year. Unlike last year, he'd gotten none of his answers slowly throughout the year, but more questions on top of questions. Now here he finally was, at the climax of this disastrous year, and he felt it was high time to get this over with.

James relented that if there was any justice, this wired ghost Riddle kid would explain something, soon.

Even with Harry's reassurances and Riddle's own declaration, that still wasn't making anyone in the room feel any better. There were some worse things to be then dead, and Ginny seemed to be heading that way.

"That's not how ghosts look and you know it," Remus said, not reprimanding even, just being his typical self in pointing things out.

Harry pointed out right back, "like you, I wasn't exactly expecting that. It was the first thing that came to mind."

"That's, possible," Sirius said, slowly and uneasily, "but not to this degree. The most advanced form of that is the magical paintings, and even they can't leave their bindings. Since that diary is his binding, he should not be able to leave it and 'walk' around."

Harry was very curious to hear more about that, but now didn't seem the time.

All of them puzzled at this, indeed wondering how it could have made its way down there, and how it was all connected? This still didn't even answer their question of who was doing all of this, it actually managed to raise more!

"I didn't like him before," Lily began, notes of unease already creeping into her voice, "and I'm liking him less and less as this goes on."

"He's unnatural," Remus agreed, "whatever is going on here is something very Dark. How Ginny got mixed up in all of this still blows my mind."

Harry was frowning and shaking his head from side to side, somehow he just knew all of the pieces were right there in front of him in that moment, and so he begged his father on so that they would finally come together.

"Not good," James hissed, beginning to bounce in place, though stopping quickly as this made it very hard to read, "very not good."

"He shouldn't be able to do that," Lily yelled, her voice an octave higher than was normal.

"Nothing like this should be happening," Remus snapped back, then immediately apologized and said, "sorry Lily, just on edge."

She acknowledged the apology with the barest of nods, not having been the least bit offended by him. They were all beyond off edge by this point.

Sirius had to restrain himself from laughing out loud at this. His poor pup, there was no chance that this would simply be resolved that easily. No, Riddle was there for some very Dark reason, and giving Harry back his wand most likely didn't involve those plans.

Harry shuddered at that figure of speech, still not appreciating its meaning.

"I don't like this," Lily moaned, her hand beginning to dig into Harry's again. She really needed that reassurance right then, that her baby really was going to be okay.

Harry returned the pressure with a reassuring squeeze, the only comfort he could offer right then.

"Why?" James demanded through gritted teeth. "What on earth could he possibly want with you?"

Harry had no answer for him, except the instinctive one that they weren't going to like his stay in the Chamber.

"Glad you picked up on that," Sirius said weakly, not mocking really. Harry was only twelve at this time after all. Any normal student wouldn't really question too far what was going on, except trying to get out of danger like Harry was.

"I'm getting a really bad feeling about that," James murmured, his words not nearly covering the feelings of unease that were still rampaging through him.

Remus' mouth opened with a little pop. Upon questioning though, he just shrugged and murmured, "just, processing is all. I knew I didn't like that diary, but I really don't like what he's implying. Just keep going James, I want to hear this."

James wanted to do the exact opposite in fact, and simply take Harry's word for it that everything was fine and move past this already. Still, he couldn't very well leave it like this now could he.

"This is foul, beyond loathsome," Lily hissed. "How dare he mock her for this! What on earth, why-" she sputtered out of air then, simply waving James on when she realized he still hadn't really answered anything. He was just insulting the insecurities of an eleven-year-old, which in itself was awful.

"He's creeping me out with that," Sirius muttered, mostly to himself.

That had already happened to James a long time ago, and he wasn't even there to hear this in person. Just listening to his cruel depictions of mocking Ginny was enough to give him the creeps.

Remus shuddered in disgust, not really wanting to answer when Harry asked, "I don't get it? Why would he want that?" He didn't seem able to bring himself to say those exact words Riddle had.

"Not for any good reason, I'm sure," Sirius almost whispered.

"What exactly is this thing?" Lily demanded. "I've never heard of anything like it?"

"I'm positive I don't want to know the answer," James huffed, before forcing himself to keep going anyways.

Sirius actually did retch then, going a funny green colour at the thought of that.

Harry still dearly wanted to ask what on earth was going on, what this thing was, but one look around and he realized they had no more idea than him, which was the opposite of comforting.

'She can't have' James wanted to snap, but really he had no way to say it. All the air seemed to have gone out of him.

"Is it, possessing her?" Harry asked, looking from the book back to the others very quickly now.

"Seems like," Remus forced the words out, "but again, I've never heard of anything, anything, like this."

"Which is, above all, the creepiest thing," Sirius said in a ghost of his old teasing voice, "we're supposed to be able to use you as our walking dictionary."

Lily let out an almost hysterical laugh, which died quickly.

None of them could really think of anything else to say, though the dominant thought was 'why Harry?' Why on earth had he been the one to come across this, and why was this thing so transfixed on him? Of course they all had a pool of concern for poor Ginny as well, she was clearly a victim of something very wrong going on, something that still managed to tie into Harry.

James hated every word out of his mouth as he choked out.

Harry very dearly wanted to interrupt again, with questions like 'why hadn't any of them noticed Ginny was acting weird all year?' At least her brothers should have noticed something! These questions though, would never truly be answered.

"Amusing?" Lily hissed. "Did he really just say that? I can't imagine what must have been going through the poor girl's mind, but amusing is far from it."

"This thing is a sadist," Sirius grumbled.

None of them needed to imagine that, since it was on Harry's face right now, and most likely mirrored on their own.

By the end of this, Harry wanted to yell and rage and scream that he needed to shut up now, but it would be pointless yelling at his dad for that.

Silence seemed to have struck the room as Riddle just seemed to keep talking, none of them able to think of anything to add to how horrible this was.

'Which is when the attacks stopped', Lily realized, wanting to slap herself for not having linked that together before.

"Of all the-" Remus began, but quickly cut himself off. If Harry hadn't found it, then some other unsuspecting soul would have come across it. Since it had been in a girl's bathroom, even a mostly unused one, Harry finding it was almost, barely, a good thing. For if another girl had found it, she possibly would have gone through the same process as Ginny all over again. At least Harry had never written in it more than once, saving him from this horrid fate.

Sirius opened his mouth to repeat the question that was on everyone's mind, why on earth this demon seemed so intent on Harry, but James quickly kept going.

Sirius then had to bite his tongue to keep himself from making a 'fan girl' joke. Now wasn't the time, nor would it be appreciated.

"Don't insult him," James snarled. "While I'd love to burn this thing, I can't wait to find out where on earth Ginny got it, and drag it to the Ministry and prove it wasn't Hagrid you-" he cut himself off in a muttering of curses.

Lily blinked in surprise, this question hadn't occurred to her yet, but it was a good one. Where had Ginny gotten a hold of this thing? She couldn't imagine it would have been anywhere at her own house, her parents would probably die before bringing something so Dark into their home, and it couldn't be at the school. Where had she come across this?

"Crazy, psychopathic, sadistic-" Remus had to poke Sirius in the ribs to get him to stop.

All three boys were in too much of a towering temper to correct such a ludicrous sentence. On top of everything, this idiot didn't know the first thing about werewolves, and the fact that werewolf cubs didn't even exist!

Harry dearly wanted to ask about this, but still held his tongue.

"This thing knows nothing about magical creatures does it?" James really did scoff this time. "While there are forest trolls, there aren't any in the Forbidden Forest."

"You would know," Lily said, trying for a bit of good-natured humour, which really was appreciated right then.

"That is a very good point," Harry was loath to admit and agree with anything this thing said, but since it was about Hagrid...

"And he's got an ego on top of all his other lovely qualities," Sirius grumbled.

"Really?" Lily demanded. "Only Dumbledore? No other teacher, hell anybody with a brain, bothered to question this?"

"Prejudices," Remus offered bitterly. "I'm sure most anyone can guess Hagrid's half-giant. So when someone like Riddle would have come along and accused Hagrid of doing this, they ate it right up."

"This is disgusting," James growled, he might have even kept going, but Harry was quick to get him back on track. While he hated this idea as much as anyone, there was no good in sitting about and talking about it, when they could possibly fix it.

"Can't imagine why," Remus said, sarcasm dripping from every syllable. "Could it possibly be he didn't fall for your demented act?"

"With the blackest, cruelest kind of magic I've never even heard of," Remus said through clenched teeth.

"There's no way a sixteen-year-old did this," Sirius said weakly, "this is the darkest, most advanced magic-"

"Can we not," Lily moaned. "I don't want to be sitting around thinking about this. It's dark, and twisted, evil and weird, we all agree, but I want to see Harry getting out of there before midnight."

That silenced them for now anyways.

"Do you think," Harry began hesitantly, "is there any way Ginny was somehow, I don't know, trying to influence so that these set of circumstances happened? It can't really be a coincidence no one's died."

They puzzled this for a moment before James said, "you know, I wouldn't be too surprised if that were true Harry. Everyone who's been attacked had a means out, Ginny may have been semi influencing the choices to give them a chance."

Harry beamed, knowing this could never be proven one way or another, no way would he ever ask such a thing, but liking the idea anyways.

James choked out that last word as if he'd had a dung bomb tossed down his throat. The horrid idea that someone wanted his son dead was awful enough, let alone him having to say it.

"Why?" Lily demanded of no one in particular, "this is, I don't even know what this is! What on earth does this creature have against you?"

Harry just shrugged, feeling frustrated he couldn't remember, though he was sure he found out in a few moment's anyways.

"Why would she go back to it?" Sirius grumbled. "If she had the ability to throw it away the first time, why didn't she just try again? Or better, go get a teacher, or-"

"Oh, now I understand," Remus cut him off, "it was Ginny who stole the diary from Harry. Ginny pieced together what had happened to her, which is why she got rid of it, she must have recognized it was doing something to her. When she saw it in Harry's possession though, she was afraid the same thing would happen to him."

"That still doesn't explain why she didn't take it to someone," Lily sighed.

"I think," Harry said slowly, then broke off as soon as he had begun. Growing far beyond annoyed at his inability to give these answers, he instead said, "I know I understand everything before the night's over. Let's please just hear about Ginny getting out of here, then we can keep questioning this" he all but pleaded in the end.

Nodding in assent, James forced himself to read on.

All five of them grimaced as they got their answer anyways. Yes, the fear that Ginny would be blamed for these attacks would certainly hold the girl's tongue about this evil diary.

Harry gritted his teeth so hard he could almost hear them cracking. Riddle had targeted one of his friends on purpose that time! If this spectre didn't die this night, he certainly was going too soon.

'So now it's boring to watch a child beg for her life' James howled in his head, but didn't interrupt himself to say it aloud. Everyone here looked on the brink of yelling themselves soon.

Remus swallowed hard as he realized something else, he was feeding off of Ginny. The longer this conversation went on, the closer she was to dying. That's why all the talking, and explaining. He was purposely drawing all of this out. He very dearly wanted to point this out to the others, but either they had already realized it for themselves, or it would do no good in the end. So he decided against it, knowing it would only hurt Harry.

"Voldemort?" Sirius asked in genuine confusion "What on earth has this got to do with him?"

Harry opened, and just as quickly closed his mouth. He had known there was something significant about the name Tom Riddle, and he just knew they were on the brink of figuring it out. He tried his best to explain this, and now very curious James read.

All five of them felt themselves going slack-jawed for a moment, but James wasn't giving anyone the chance to say anything until he read.

"Voldemort is just an anagram?" Sirius said, almost laughing in shock.

"I suppose that makes sense in a certain light," James agreed. "After all, it's not a surname or anything of the like. I guess Riddle or Tom just wouldn't have the same spooky effect."

"Are you kidding me?" Lily screeched, going white as a ghost. "How are you laughing about this? What, how, why is Voldemort's... I don't even know how to phrase this it's so ludicrous."

"How is a bit of Voldemort walking and talking through a diary?" Remus offered weakly.

Lily nodded quickly as she said, "yes, that."

Harry very dearly wanted to answer, but the price was yet another stab at his brain, a very powerful one this time he was sure. He had known from the get-go that there was something very particular he should remember about this diary, and it related to that question...but what?

The others were so stumped, they couldn't even begin to speculate on this. They had never heard of anything like this, even Sirius who had heard of some pretty dark magic growing up around his kind of family couldn't piece this one together.

Only taking a brief comfort in that Harry was still here now, and his insistence that Ginny survived this, was James able to read.

Sirius suddenly snorted so violently, Remus leaned over him in shock and concern before Sirius began laughing, hard. James had to reread that sentence almost a dozen times, and he was still frozen in shock.

Coming out of his laughing fit, only slightly, Sirius said in a breathy voice, "V-Vol-Voldemort's a half-blood! Oh Merlin, I can't breathe-" and he really didn't seem able to keep sucking in air as he continued laughing.

"The pureblood supremacists of the world, is a half-blood." Lily said the sentence slowly and distinctly, tasting the words and cracking a smile herself. "Well, that's certainly something I never saw coming."

"I'll bet his followers don't know that," Remus cackled. "I've always said there's no way possible every Death Eater's a pureblood, there's just not that many of them! It's no wonder Riddle's so lax."

"Is that what we're going to call him now?" James asked in a conversational tone of voice. "Riddle? I am completely okay with this."

"Well he certainly doesn't deserve the title of Voldemort, supreme ruler of liars any more," Sirius agreed, finally gaining back his breath. He still had a gleam of victory surrounding him, he had been contemplating going over to his 'oh so proud' parent's and informing them a little bit about their 'saviours of the wizarding world.'

James pressed further, asking, "so, Dumbledore knows this, right? After all, Ollivander knew Tom Riddle turned into Voldemort, and I'd bet my wand Dumbledore must know this! So Dumbledore would have looked into this, and known about him being a half-blood. Why hasn't he spread this around? It would put a real cramp in his regime if everyone knew."

"Maybe he can't prove it," Lily offered. "I mean, I'd love to look into this myself, but what if you just can't. Wizards aren't very good about birth certificates or anything..."

"This is fun and all," Harry said, a silly smile still plastered across his face watching his family enjoy this revelation, "and I hate to break the mood, but can we please finish this year? I'd still feel better seeing Ginny get out of there."

"What's a matter pup, don't trust your own gut?" Sirius joked.

Harry merely grinned, not willing to admit that this was it exactly. He knew by now though that if he said this aloud, they would all tell him that they trusted his gut, but he dreaded the idea that sometime soon his gut feeling was going to be wrong, and it was going to lead to something awful happening. So he brushed off the joke, and James decided to keep going.

"Really?" Lily said, looking truly upset at this. "The worst wizarding war that's existing right now, all stems back to the fact that Voldemort has daddy issues? I'll admit, it's absolutely horrible his father abandoned them, because his mother was a witch, but-" she broke herself off shaking her head sadly from side to side, unable to continue it was so pathetic.

Sirius couldn't help but release another snort of mirth, putting it like that made Voldemort look like some bratty child rather than the darkest name in their history.

"Cause that's not, you know, the most big headed thing I've ever heard," James scoffed.

"That's rich coming from you," Lily poked fun, grinning over at her husband, "considering how big your head was through most of school."

"Aw, I deflated, kind of," James grinned, not looking nearly offended by that as he once had been.

Sirius and Remus both gave appreciative chuckles, while Harry watched his parent's curiously. The two of them seemed like two people with completely opposite personalities most of the time, so he was genuinely curious how they had gotten together. He really wanted to ask that question eventually.

This time Remus began applauding Harry, backing him up on that one hundred percent. Sirius and James considered it for a moment before deciding that they agreed, there wasn't another living person who had done half the thing's their headmaster had done.

Lily was the only one who looked about disagreeing, but she was also just that little bit sore from last year. Still not completely convinced he hadn't set Harry up last year to do all those dangerous stunts, and he had hardly done anything this year to prove otherwise.

At this moment though, she would have gladly taken Dumbledore, or anyone for that matter, down there with her son. So she wasn't going to go around disagreeing with what he said either.

Despite the situation, James still had a bit of a goofy smile on his face as he said.

"Actually, it was a corrupt government board, headed by a pompous arse," Sirius corrected, "and even then he won't be gone long. I'm still positive there's no way he made that injunction legally, so someone's going to be able to get around it soon."

"Music?" Lily puzzled, wondering if she'd heard that wrong.

"Did you decide to start singing or something?" Remus asked.

Harry deigned him with a 'you're not funny look', but James didn't even look up.

"Fawkes?" James breathed in surprise.

"Unless there's another phoenix loyal enough to Dumbledore to respond like this," Remus agreed, grinning wildly.

"Does this explain the music?" Lily asked. "Why is it cawing music?"

"Phoenix music is rumored to embed those it trusts with bounds of strength," Sirius told her brightly, "it's supposed to encourage bravery and make you fearless and stuff."

"I give you half points for that explanation," Remus laughed out right at him, "you sounded pretty smart until you finished with 'and stuff.'"

Sirius just rolled his eyes at him, while James still continued on now more curious than ever.

No one stopped this time to ask what on earth Fawkes could be holding.

Remus gave a slow sarcastic clap this time, giving Sirius the joyful opportunity to smack him again and get him to stop.

"Do what?" Lily couldn't help but ask this time.

"Why," James couldn't help but agree, "would Fawkes bring that? Is he planning to try and convince Riddle he didn't belong in Slytherin, and ruin his life further?"

Harry chuckled in amusement, but none of them had any idea what could be going on right now.

"Thanks' for that awful reminder," James muttered in disgust.

"Something you'll never understand," Lily hissed viciously, wanting more than anything in that moment to be there for her son again, to stand in front of him and curse this demented creature into oblivion for threatening her baby.

Remus couldn't help but wince, remembering all over again why Riddle was drawing out this conversation.

Remus looked around and noticed no one seemed too surprised by this, so they had all worked it out then. They all looked equal amounts pissed off that Harry was being threatened like this, again, and worried about his situation at hand. How had Harry made it out of this alive? Did he summon the basilisk and have it kill this evil spirit?

"Personally, I wouldn't have told him that," Sirius scoffed, "not that he can do anything against you, but it still would have been all the more fun for him to never know the answer to that."

Harry shrugged, he had just enjoyed that one moment of lording that over the Dark Lord.

James voice rang with pride for his son as he read out that last part.

"It genuinely bothers me that he knows about that, and I've never heard of it," James huffed.

"Guess we should just be happy we don't really know the same things as this nutter," Sirius offered.

"Plus, we know now," Remus added vindictively.

"I disagree," Lily snapped with pure venom, "his very existence as being a loving person makes him infinitely more special than your heartless arse."

Harry blushed furiously at the compliment, while the other boys couldn't help but agree.

James smile vanished at once, he looked like he was being force fed vomit as he continued.

Sirius was muttering a couple of foul things under his breath, very much wanting to deny those last two, and hating that he couldn't.

James was grumbling and snarling that these were all circumstantial, stupid things. For anyone to imply his son was the smallest bit like Voldemort made all four adults in the room want to curse something into oblivion.

Harry, who had begun to look rather upset at what he clearly did see as parallels, smiled around at them all again. Clearly, his family wasn't reading into these things, so he had no inclination to do so either.

"Well this can't be good," Lily moaned.

"What even would happen if he tried to use a spell with Harry's wand?" Sirius asked curiously. "I mean, he's tangible enough to hold it, but I still don't even know what he is! Will the wand recognize magic in him, and perform the spell, or..."

"Maybe this memory doesn't know itself," Remus shrugged, "and he's not going to risk it. Whatever he is planning though, I agree with Lily. This isn't going to be good." He mentally added that, if Ginny did die, this thing very well might likely be at least some kind of human again and could possibly do whatever the real Voldemort had done/ was doing now. Time travel was making this way too complicated, since his instincts now was crawling at the idea of two Voldemort's existing at once, while he reminded himself that in this timeline Voldemort had died and this would be a rebirth of him?

He stopped his brain from trying to continue the paradox as James continued.

"He's summoning the Basilisk?" James asked wearily.

"Well this shouldn't be too bad," Sirius said with far more confidence than he really felt, "since Harry can control it just as well as Riddle."

"But," Lily began, then bit at her lip again. Then, sucking in a deep breath, she voiced, "but, Riddle obviously has far more experience with this. He's also been controlling this snake longer, so what if..." she couldn't even finish, the idea swimming around was too awful to put into words.

Since none of them really had any idea how Parselmouths worked, James simply hoped the book would explain.

"Quite a bit I'd wager," Remus offered weakly, "as highly intelligent as they are. Fawkes might not be able to win this fight, but he will be of use."

James couldn't help but retch all over again at having to say that, dearly wishing he'd never have to hear those words again in relation to his son, let alone have to say them as many times as he had in this chapter.

'Is Harry not even going to try speaking to it?' Remus wondered, but kept that thought to himself. If Harry didn't think of it himself, well he could hardly blame his cub since the act of speaking and controlling snakes was still new enough to him.

All four of them recoiled from that disturbing mental image, now willing to give up their lives all over again if they could have just been there for Harry in that one deadly moment.

Harry felt very bad for his family, who all looked akin to corpses they were getting so pale. He floundered, trying to come up with something to help distract them again. Clearly his mental imagination was going to be the death of them all. The only one that came to mind was to offer up the explanation to them that this particular Basilisk never actually spoke to him in words and a language like he knew he could understand in the Chamber. Maybe it couldn't speak its own mind when under the command of someone telling it what to do, but Harry got the impression none of them knew enough about this to offer their own opinion, and wanted too much to hear of anything else but the giant killer snake for Harry to start a discussion about it. So Harry in fact had nothing of comfort to offer them. In his young life, this was by far the scariest thing that had happened to him yet, and words of comfort just weren't going to cut it this time. So he instead remained quiet, hoping the book would get past this quickly, and skip to however he got out of there with an alive Ginny in tow.

James at least no longer sounded like he was reading his own death warrant. Harry wasn't as alone down there as he had been thinking. Admittedly a bird, even a phoenix, wasn't the kind of help he would have been for his son then, but it was better than nothing. Even if Fawkes tipped the scales just that little bit, made it possible enough that Harry could get out of there, then he'd be just a tiny bit happy again.

Then James voice choked off all over again when he realized Harry was looking into his own death. No one had air in their lungs to question the fact of Harry's survival. James himself only managed to keep going out of the will to see this miracle.

"It's blind," Sirius finally broke the long stream of silence.

"Thank Merlin," Lily practically sobbed.

"Thank Fawkes, or even Dumbledore for owning the bird, or-" Remus broke off in semi-hysterical laughter.

"How come Fawkes didn't die if it was looking into the Basilisk's eyes?" Harry asked, a bit too late, but finally coming up with another random question.

James was more than happy to respond, saying, "phoenix's are damn near indestructible. They have healing tears, so their eyes are the most invulnerable part of their body. No one's ever put this to the test, but I guess phoenix eye's beat basilisk eyes."

Still shaking a bit, though now in relief, James was finally able to keep reading in almost normal tones.

"Guess it is still poisonous," Remus muttered to himself, "and how big again?"

The others ignored him, now confident this bird was the reason Harry had survived. Had Fawkes even somehow found a way to kill the Basilisk? They certainly hoped it got to that part soon.

Sirius released a semi-hysterical giggle as he said, "now he's trying to make it lose its sense of smell too. Next thing, he'll be trying to rip out its teeth."

While none of them had exactly been back to a 'happy place' in this story, this verbal reminder from Harry himself needing help made them all want to take him up in a hug and never let go.

Well this was a pretty easy distraction. Had any of them ever figured out why the Sorting Hat was even there? Why had Fawkes grabbed it? None of them bothered voicing these questions allowed though, since no one had any answer, and they were all just too eager for Harry to hurry up and get out of there.

Lily felt such a tightening in her throat, it was almost impossible to swallow and continue breathing. Her little baby, reduced to cowering on the floor from a deadly snake, alone with nothing but a rangy old hat. She had never wanted that mental image, and now wanted to burn her mind for giving it to her.

James tone finally changed from outright fear, to genuine puzzlement. A much better way of reading then every other word pondering if his son was going to die.

"A sword?" Sirius burst out. "Not some nice advice on, I don't know, summoning a rooster or something, but a bloody sword? What the bloody hell is Harry supposed to do with that, duel the stupid snake? Why, where did the sword even come from-" Sirius had been silent and pent up for so long, it seemed he would never stop his fountain of questions, but then Remus gave him a very sharp poke, causing Sirius to go silent again. None of them had an inkling of an idea how the Hat worked, that was old Founder magic. They wouldn't get an answer to any of these questions, until the book said them. If the book even did answer.

"Ha!" Remus and Sirius both breathed, taking relish in this small victory.

Then their mouths flopped open in horror at all the horrible implications of that. Harry had stabbed it in the roof of the mouth, most likely hitting its brain and killing it, but that also meant Harry's whole arm was in between all of those poisonous deadly fangs! Each one of them took a moment to inspect the boy again, as if confirming he still had that arm and it wasn't snapped off.

James couldn't help it, that was the final straw. He actually did twist over the side of the couch and vomit. Harry leaped back in shock, looking to the others in genuine concern. His mom was openly crying as she produced her wand and vanished the steaming pile. Remus and Sirius looked ready to keel over any moment.

Harry's mind scrambled about wildly as he finally blurted out, "are you okay?"

James brushed the back of his hand against his mouth, giving a weak chuckle as his hazel eyes met Harry's green ones. "Am I okay?" He repeated, as if he'd never heard such a sentence in his life. "Harry, I just read a sentence, that under any normal circumstances, would have meant that you would be dead. Not sitting there, but dead. On the floor-" he broke off before his mouth could keep going, shuddering all over again.

Harry looked about the room again, then offered, "did you want to me to finish? You know I'm not dead, but if this is too awful-"

"No," James said, bolstering himself up again after one more furtive look at his only child. "No," he repeated with conviction, "you did survive. There's a phoenix in the room," he reminded the others, the only explanation remotely possible as to why he was talking to his son, "and so Fawkes is going to save you, and I will later be embarrassed for my overreaction."

"That wasn't an overreaction," Sirius told him weakly, "since I actually did black out there for a minute."

Lily was brushing tears furiously from her face, and Remus was rubbing his eyes hard like he was trying to prevent himself from joining her. Harry felt something stirring inside himself, warmed beyond belief that these four cared about him so deeply like this.

Sucking in one, two more deep breaths, James forced out.

Despite his own words of comfort, James still couldn't help his upper lip from curling in disgust as he continued reading about Harry dying like this. No one could muster themselves up to interrupt, the only comfort any of them had right now was the red and gold bird that just had to appear any second now...

They all released a collective breath of relief at this confirmation.

Sirius had to choke himself off from saying something along the lines of 'you would thank the bird, while you're dying', but even the thought of those words being put through his mouth made him want to pass out all over again.

Remus actually did release a funny sound, like a laugh but strangled with emotion. Clearly Riddle didn't know the properties of phoenix tears, his ignorance would be Harry's salvation.

James very dearly wished his son found some way to murder this apparition of Riddle soon, just to get him to shut up. He was still so emotionally wrung, he didn't think he could take much more of this taunting over his son's body before he really did curse something.

Lily muttered something indistinct under her breath. The boys might have caught a few words, but they were all so disturbing they pretended they hadn't.

"Challenged," Harry grumbled out loud, "I'd gladly avoid him for the rest of my life! He keeps bothering me!"

All four of them really did laugh then, a genuine sound of amusement at Harry's truly annoyed look. His use of 'bothering' to describe constant attempts of murder was just slightly underwhelming as well.

James then groaned again, pressing his face into the pages of the book in utter disgust. Pulling away, he asked the ceiling, "what are the bloody odds I got every single stinking chapter, where someone said that horrid word!"

Lily reached around and gave her husband's shoulder a comforting squeeze, which James took gladly.

They all obstinately ignored that putrid sentence, since they knew the opposite was happening.

All five of them couldn't help but beam with pleasure. They had known without a doubt this was what was going to happen, but hearing it in words made the whole ordeal bearable.

Then they all grimaced when they realized Riddle really had grown so powerful he could use spells now. This didn't bode well for Ginny, or Harry for that matter. Now the snake was dead, but how had Harry gotten past Riddle?

"Twat" Remus snapped, more than happy at this psychopath's lap in knowledge.

James couldn't help but wince all over again. Harry had just skipped death, and now his very own wand was being thrust back into his face for yet another go! Was Fawkes going to take this spell to? How long could they keep playing this game before someone's luck ran out?

"While I agree that thing needs to be burned," Sirius said slowly, "what good is it going to do now?"

"Riddle said it himself," Lily pointed out, going bright eyed with glee now, "he had put a bit of himself in that object. So maybe, if Harry destroys it, this thing will finally disappear."

James fervently hoped so, now reading eagerly, almost praying this is what happened.

"If that doesn't do it nothing will," Remus beamed.

"And good riddance to rot in hell you-" Sirius finally did get all of his pent up emotions out by spouting every foul word that came to mind. The others sat there and let him, venting in his own way until he finally ran out of steam.

"Souvenir," James said weakly, causing Remus and Sirius to burst out with renewed genuine laughter at what was clearly an old joke between them.

Harry and Lily smiled indulgently at each other, more than willing to put up with all their inside jokes if it meant nothing this awful ever happened again.

"The poor thing," Lily almost sobbed with her as she remembered all over again the traumatic experience this eleven-year-old had been through, "it'll be a miracle if she isn't scarred for life because of this."

James read all of this with a miserable look on his face. What Harry had just endured was the epitome of awful, but this little girl had been through something equally as tormenting all year. She wasn't even his kid and he wanted to hug her in comfort.

"Never," Remus vowed at the suddenly heartbroken look on Harry's face. "If there's any decency in the world, no one will look twice at Ginny once you tell them what happened."

"But I broke the diary," Harry seemed unable to stop himself from arguing back, "what if she really does get in trouble for this?"

"It's not going to happen," Sirius all but growled, "it's just not possible anyone could believe Ginny could do something like this."

Harry nodded, feeling relieved for once his first instinct was to agree with them, it was just his pessimistic side that was trying to say otherwise.

"Thank god you're alive," Lily stated at once, "and the only reason you wouldn't come back next year is because they'll be worried sick to let you out of their sight again."

"Can't blame them," James muttered sadly.

"Ron," they all said in relief, the distant memory of his wand cursing Lockhart seeming like a gold mine of happiness compared to what they had just been through.

"Damn," Sirius said in congratulations, "and he did that without magic. Props to that kid."

"Long story," James said weakly, drawing the first word out in remembrance, and dearly hoping he wouldn't have to reread that story himself, again.

"A question I'd still like answered," Sirius said in an almost chipper tone. Their utter relief that Harry was finally out of there was more than palpable, and finally bringing normal conversation back around.

"So sweet," Lily sighed, unable to stop herself from grinning at her son who was still trying to put the girl's feelings first.

"And I still regret nothing," Remus said in full glee, "he deserves every bit of that irony."

'Know the effects of that all too well' Harry thought bitterly, an inkling of pity beginning to form for Lockhart.

"And he saves the day again," Lily grinned, "you know James, I'm genuinely thinking I want one of those."

"First a jarvey and a crup for our garden, now you want a phoenix, we've already got Click and Hickory. Exactly how many pets do you want?" James demanded good naturedly. To be perfectly honest he didn't mind one bit, he would always indulge his wife in whatever she wanted.

Lily shrugged, not looking the least bit deterred at the animal count that was beginning to stack up.

"I'm wondering though, that there must be another way to get up," Remus voiced. "I suppose I can think of a spell or two, but you'd really think Slytherin would have given some kind of ladder back up."

"Let's not have Harry stick around to find out," Sirius grumbled.

"I think you can finally stop giving that bonehead such a title," Remus told Harry pleasantly.

Harry shrugged, it hadn't yet occurred to him, he had too much other stuff on his mind at the time.

Despite how much all five of them genuinely hated this guy, they couldn't help but weakly laugh at this childlike innocence.

"And may it stay that way forever," Lily muttered in disgust, to general nodes of agreement except for Harry, who had an odd feeling he'd find that Chamber opened at least once more, but not for anything bad...

"And a good day to you to," Sirius grumbled, not really appreciating how close that sentence came to not being true.

"Ew," James huffed, trying to distract himself from why that stuff was there.

"Oh yes, that's just what Harry needs," Remus said, trying his very hardest to suppress a grin, "another admirer."

Harry didn't even have the energy to glare at him for that joke, he was just as ready for this year to be over as them.

"Really Ron?" Lily demanded of the ceiling. "Is now really the time to be poking fun at your sister?"

"I find it rather appropriate," Sirius countered, "it's kind of his way of saying, the world goes on. You nearly died, but I'm still going to poke fun at you."

Lily was beginning to understand why Sirius and his little brother didn't get along very well. Then again, she wasn't all too clear why she herself put up with him. If he wasn't James best friend, she was sure she would have strangled him out of pure annoyance ten times over. Never mind the fact that in recent years she had come to see him as her own sort of brother.

"Why did you knock if you were just going to go in?" Remus couldn't help but ask.

"Why did you knock at all?" Sirius grinned, "I think, in this particular set of circumstances, you really could have just waltzed in."

Harry just shrugged as Sirius took the book, having no response to any of them.


	18. DOBBY'S REWARD

They had a very late dinner then. All just needing to take a break from what was hands down the worst chapter yet. After a nice relaxing meal, Harry even offered they could quit for the night, since nothing this awful could happen the rest of the year. They disagreed though, stating that they may as well finish, there couldn't really be any surprises left, right?

Before he began, Sirius noted the length of the book and told them, "I think this is the last chapter."

"I bloody well hope so," James groaned, massaging his stomach and still not looking one hundred percent. He had eaten a very light dinner, something Lily had noted and was genuinely concerned about, "because I honestly can't take much more from this one."

Harry gave them all sympathetic looks, but really couldn't think of anything to say as Sirius read.

They all nodded, none of them really too surprised Ginny's parents were up at the school, and more than pleased they were some of the firsts to find out she was alive.

There were finally smiles back in the room, all of them genuinely happy in that one small moment that this family was still whole.

'Well I was right' Sirius mentally sighed, 'one more bad thing and Dumbledore's back.' He hated that the 'bad' thing was that poor Ginny had supposedly died though, so he didn't bring it up.

"You're not going to like it," Harry offered weakly, thinking that if these people's reactions were anything close to his family's he'd be lucky if someone in that room didn't faint as well.

"Everything?" James couldn't help but ask.

Harry nodded, not having left anything out of the story that time. He'd been too worried Ginny was going to be blamed, so he added as much ridiculous detail as he could manage, while leaving her out of this as long as possible. Not remotely concerned for his own place at the school at that point so long as she wasn't punished.

"Putting it like that doesn't sound nearly as dramatic as reading it all through," Remus chuckled weakly.

"Sorry I couldn't just summarize it," Harry admitted.

"Nah, the fun, good parts almost make up for the horrible, you could've died parts," Sirius chuckled.

Surprisingly, the others did agree. It was horrible, heart wrenching, and many other synonyms that they had to hear about their little Harry having to go through all of this, but they were also getting something in return. A true record of their boy's life, things he might not even have told them if they had survived. What twelve-year-old would tell them about the singing valentine? It was the little things like this that made the story worthwhile.

"Oh it wasn't quite a hundred,," Lily murmured "I could actually go back and count, but I might go bald in the process if I tried."

All five of them were now tense and upset again, knowing they really couldn't stand it if she was blamed for this mess...

Sirius read with fervour, hoping desperately some miracle would help the girl.

That sentence created a whole stirring of emotions in the room, the least of which was relief that Ginny wasn't going to be blamed.

"So, did Dumbledore know what was going on this whole time?" Lily asked hesitantly. His crimes against Harry had been bad enough last year, but if he had stood by with even having an inkling that something bad was going on with Ginny...

"Did he say Voldemort really was alive?" James demanded, hating that he couldn't go one bloody chapter without wanting to snatch up his son and go into hiding for the rest of his life.

"How did Dumbledore know it was Voldemort enchanting Ginny?" Remus grumbled, not exactly sorry, but stunned all the same.

The three of them had asked their questions almost exactly at the same time, so it took a moment to sort out and decide if any of them even had an answer to any of the above.

They didn't.

After a few circular arguments where nothing was remotely resolved, Sirius kept reading, knowing that Dumbledore really hadn't explained much last year, but hoping he might this time.

"Poor guy," James said in sympathy. Ginny wasn't even his daughter and he'd felt wretched at the idea, he could only guess at how Arthur was really feeling right then.

"And yet, I still hate him," Sirius told no one in particular.

"Barely recognizable?" Remus demanded. "I've never seen him, but I've heard he doesn't look the least bit human."

"Some people say he isn't," Lily agreed, "though now I guess we know that isn't true."

"That's pretty sound advice," James nodded, happy someone had said this with Harry around. Hopefully nothing like this would come again.

Lily grimaced, all for the fact that her parents were educating Ginny on this, but now didn't seem the time to reprimand. Yes her parents were scared, but couldn't they have held off telling her this... then she remembered all the times she spun on her own son in fear of what she had just discovered he'd done, and recognized she had scolded first. Guess it was just a parent thing that you snap in fear, even if it is at the child themselves.

"She found it in one of her books?" Sirius demanded, looking flabbergasted. "Was that thing being sold at Flourish and Blotts or something?"

"Not possible," James shot down, "I can't imagine this thing in a shop like that."

"Well surely Ginny isn't lying," Remus frowned, "so what else could it be?"

They were rather annoyed they truly did seem at a dead end this time, and all the more upset it didn't seem possible they could easily prevent this thing from falling into someone else's hands.

Though they had all been praying for this, they still couldn't help but release a breath of relief at this confirmation.

"As I'm sure they will be for some time," James agreed sadly. He had only just found out his son really should have died in that Chamber as well, and he still didn't look any kind of okay about it.

"Deal with us?" Harry asked curiously. "We aren't really going to be punished are we? There's not actually a school rule saying we can't go into the Chamber is there?"

"Well no," Sirius said, unable to suppress a grin at the outraged look on Harry's face, "but you did admit to several other rule breakings. Going into the forest comes to mind."

Then Harry turned sheepish and uncertain, now hoping he really wouldn't get into trouble himself now that it was clear Ginny was in the clear.

Lily then said something very unladylike, not looking the least bit abashed as she continued, "-he's not really going to expel you is he? You did save her life! All those things you admitted to doing wouldn't warrant expulsion!"

Harry couldn't help but grin at his mother, glad to see she would have been just as outraged as anyone else if Dumbledore did kick them out.

Sirius didn't feel like waiting around for an answer, but blasted on to see if their old Headmaster really would do something like that.

They released yet another breathe of relief, happy Dumbledore was indeed 'eating his words.' Harry and Ron getting punished on top of everything else that had happened tonight would have been a bit too much injustice.

They all beamed with pride at that. Unlike last year, they felt these two boys fully deserved that praise for the remarkable job of everything they'd done this year.

"Well, ah-" Remus began before breaking out into laughter.

"That should put a twist in Voldemort's knickers," James cackled, "my son taking away his stupid trophy, and proving Hagrid's innocence."

"So, would this mean Hagrid could go back to school and learn more magic?" Lily asked eagerly.

Harry suddenly cocked his head to the side in puzzlement as he responded slowly, "err, well yes, it should. I know for a fact Dumbledore says he doesn't have a record anymore, but for some reason Hagrid never actually goes 'back to school'. He still lives there as gamekeeper though." He finished this with a sense that he had left something out, though he had no idea what? Did Hagrid hold another title at school perhaps?

"I wonder why?" Sirius asked in puzzlement. "Did he at least get his wand fixed?"

Harry just shrugged, saying, "Can't tell you that. Doubt I ever asked him anyways, even if I could remember. It seems a bit personal."

"Fair enough," they all agreed, deciding to move past this for now.

"I still haven't," Remus couldn't help but snicker all over again, "and I'm going to enjoy this one for a long time. Though I do wonder what kind of idiot they're going to get next year, you've somehow got a worse track record than us!"

Harry gave him a puzzled look, he had been wondering that himself, but still had no honest way to answer that.

"No," all five of them muttered at once, bitter hatred for his lies still lingering tenfold, especially what he had tried to do to Harry.

Remus smacked Sirius for that, then Sirius let out a surprised yelp of pain and demanded, "What was that for? I thought you'd appreciate that one?"

"Don't joke like that Sirius," Remus scoffed.

With a wicked grin, Sirius flipped the book so Remus could see for himself, which made Remus smile like he'd just gotten his Christmas and Birthday all at once. "I still don't believe it! This is wonderful!"

The others were too busy laughing at the whole exchange to get in a real comment.

"Say what?" Lily demanded, laughter dried up at once. "Is that saying Dumbledore knew what he had done?"

"Maybe he couldn't prove it?" James murmured, "I mean, no one else in the entire wizarding community seemed to have noticed anything either."

Lily sighed as she backed down, and also admitted she couldn't start blaming Dumbledore for every little thing that ever went wrong around that school. He was a powerful wizard, but even he couldn't fix everything.

"Truest words yet," Remus muttered, still rather enjoying this.

Harry looked genuinely puzzled by Lockhart's predicament. He seemed to be in the same boat as Harry had been when he'd awoken, but he had advanced some by then. He understood jokes and metaphors like Dumbledore had just made so had something else happened to him other than a memory charm being placed on him? He struggled to remember, but the moment his head began pounding all over again he let it go. He had gone so long without that concussive pain returning, he didn't want to break now when they were so close to being done.

Harry nodded to himself, that had been something else he was wondering. How had Fawkes known to come to him? He had meant to ask, but in all the hubbub down there, he'd never found his chance. He supposed it was just the magical quality of the bird that, when showing its master loyalty, a phoenix knew to come?

"That's putting it mildly," James hissed, frowning anew at what he knew would give him nightmares tonight of that green hewed cavern.

"That hasn't been bothering you now, has it?" Lily demanded at once, feeling repulsed her son could think something of himself as to be compared to Voldemort.

"At first," Harry admitted, "but then I saw the way you guys reacted, and how you brushed all that stuff off, so I didn't really think on it after that."

All four of them beamed with pride, happy beyond words Harry really was relying on them in this way.

"Which means you were really afraid you were," James groaned.

"Yes," Harry admitted, "but not now," he finished with a reminder, making his dad smile once more.

"Please," Sirius scoffed, "while I'm not saying you should have been in there, even if you had been you'd have been expelled the next day. Don't tell me Snape wouldn't have found some way to kick you out because you got snarky with him in class."

James and Remus nodded in agreement, while Lily just rolled her eyes at all of them.

All five of them were frowning all over again, as Remus asked, "so? Why would Voldemort being able to do something mean anything to Harry?"

Harry could feel a bead of sweat beginning to trickle down the back of his neck. Before he realized it, he was almost panting with the effort to keep a sudden memory from emerging, blasting his skull into fire and- "Harry," James finally broke into his concentration, "relax son."

Harry nodded miserably as he opened his mouth, but- "I'm sorry," Remus blurted out before Harry could, mischievous and giving him a smirk, "I should have known better by now then to direct a question like that at you."

"What are you apologizing for, you can't help it," Harry blustered, rubbing at his temple all over again.

"Exactly," Sirius grinned, "you can't help but try to draw up the memories and answer. So stop trying to apologize for it."

He nodded in understanding, but began slowly and hesitantly, "I think, I'm fixing to find something out. Something Dumbledore tells me, you guys aren't going to like it."

They exchanged heavy looks at that, very worried at Harry's reaction, but already assuring him that they didn't care one jot what Dumbledore could ever say, they all still loved him.

Sirius went back to his reading, deciding he hated this chapter damn near as much as the last one because of the way it was making Harry feel.

Sirius' voice was already spiking in confusion and fear at the implications this implied, but he didn't have to guess that Harry must question Dumbledore about this, so he kept going loudly in hopes for a better explanation.

"That's all we get?" Lily whimpered when it seemed Sirius had frozen up, meaning there wasn't anything else. "I really don't like the sound of that. What does that even mean? How could he-" she broke off when she realized she had scooped up Harry's hand again, and was wringing it instead of her own. She smiled sheepishly at him, but he didn't pull away.

They all sat there for a long time, alternately soothing Harry that what they said was still true, they didn't care one teensy little bit...but they still really didn't like what this was implying.

The fact that they had no idea, not even an inkling to guess at what this could mean for Harry, scared them more than anything. Harry seemed fine now though, so deciding the boy had been worried enough for one day, they firmly pushed this topic aside for later.

"Still no," Sirius said at once, "the houses have absolutely nothing to do with that kind of stuff."

Harry finally gave a real smile then, unable to put into words how much he appreciated them still backing him up after all of this.

"Something that all five of us tend to have," Lily reminded Harry, beaming down at him

Harry chuckled at her then, having noted quite a few times where his mum wasn't really as against his nosing around as he would have expected from a mother. She clearly had just as much of a curious streak as anyone else in the room.

"You say that like it's a bad thing," James scoffed.

"Personally, I have a theory," Remus told them all. "We all have the basis for the other three houses, but it's our bravery that we asked for a house that may tip the scales to set us into Gryffindor."

"I asked to go into Slytherin though," Lily objected, noting the stunned look, and shrugging without remorse. "What, after we had talked on the train, we decided we wanted to be in that house."

"Well I'm still partially right," Remus shrugged, "you asked to go into a house specifically, you just didn't get the house you asked for."

"I didn't ask for a house," Harry corrected, "I just said the house I didn't want."

"Which is the same basic principle," Sirius backed up Remus' theory, "you still asked, you just asked for what you didn't want."

They all nodded, rather curious, but determined they really couldn't ever know. No one really knew how the sorting hat worked.

"No way," James breathed, his eyes going wide as saucers, and a sudden burst of pride for his son making his chest nearly swell right out of him as he realized his very own boy had produced this legendary object.

"Not the fabled sword of myth," Sirius murmured.

"What are you guys talking about?" Harry asked curiously when it seemed they were all going to sit in stunned silence.

Lily explained eagerly, "The four founders of Hogwarts all created objects of great power. They were said to go to those in their house at a time of need, but no one's been able to summon them since they got lost back in the medieval times after the Founders passed."

"Gryffindor had a sword," Remus continued elaborating, "they say it was Goblin-made, indestructible, and had been enchanted to go to those of great potential. There are rumours that this was King Arthur's sword."

"Why would a wizard need a sword?" Harry probed curiously.

James was nearly bouncing in his seat as he explained, "back when Magic was a common thing among Muggles, Muggles had the right to challenge Wizards like anyone else. It was considered immoral for Warlocks to use magic on Muggles even then, unfair to be honest, so it was just as common for our kind to be practiced in sword skills, as well as magic."

"Also how Wizard's duels came into existence," Sirius added on happily.

Harry looked so intrigued on the matter, he knew he could have sat there for hours questioning all of this further. What did the other founders have, what kind of magical properties, but he recognized that it was getting very late, and his family dearly wanted to go to bed soon, so he held his tongue and thanked them for the History lesson.

"Sweet," Sirius whispered, all the more jealous of his pup. He would have been downright envious, if the set of circumstances Harry had gotten it didn't involve him nearly dying.

"Thank Merlin," they all agreed fervently.

None of them could even muster up a smile, all too afraid of this run of inept teachers Harry seemed to get stuck with. Sirius was already creating a new list of insults he could implore on the next sucker of this job.

"Argh," Sirius snarled, "just when things were supposed to be getting good!"

"He can't do anything but complain," James huffed, "he's just bitter he couldn't keep Dumbledore out of school."

"Dobby!" They all repeated in shock.

"Malfoy owned Dobby!" Sirius repeated like he'd just been clubbed over the head.

"I've been wondering about him," Remus nodded, "and I kind of want to smack that little elf all over again." Harry was frowning at him, so he explained, "one of the very first things you asked him was if this had anything to do with Voldemort, how much more involved could he be with a bit of Voldemort's soul hanging around the school! That's not even getting started on how the bloody hell that elf even knew that was what was going on this year!"

He hadn't really run out of steam, but Harry was still giving both he and Sirius beseeching looks. Somehow, Harry was still dearly defending this odd little elf, and their verbally berating him was making him uncomfortable. Sirius had been about to join in, in fact his older vow that he still wished this stupid elf harm still stood ten times over now that he knew who exactly his masters were, but they would rather cut off their right hand then make Harry upset like this, so they both bit back their tongues on the matter, for now.

"They suspended him from his position," Lily spat, "there's no law saying he can't come back up to the school any time for a visit."

James suddenly frowned, not having realized that as he asked, "so, ah, are you saying Dumbledore isn't back as headmaster?"

Lily shrugged, saying, "I've no idea honestly. It hasn't said one way or another yet, and everyone their respects him enough they'd do what he said without the title. I'm just saying, Malfoy shouldn't be so upset...yet."

"There you go then," Lily shrugged, "he's back. Are you all happy now?

"Yes," the four boys said at once. Remus added on, "how did Malfoy know though? Ginny was taken at sundown, and it's still the dead of night."

James pointed out, "He probably heard from some source he has in the ministry that Dumbledore was back, and he went up to the school in a temper."

"Ha," Sirius muttered under his breath, though he was altogether sad that he had been right this time. The idea of Malfoy sinking so low as to threaten people just to get what he wanted was more than depressing to squash Sirius' little victory.

"We?" Lily demanded under her breath, "Harry and Ron did everything."

James heard that, and gave her a pointed look as he mouthed, "Fawkes," at her.

Lily rolled her eyes, thinking that Dumbledore's bird hardly counted as Dumbledore himself helping them. Then again, if Dumbledore never had Fawkes, then Harry might not have survived that, so she was just a bit grateful this time.

"Trying to see how he'd react to his old master's name I guess?" Remus murmured to himself.

Sirius opened, then closed his mouth, biting back a comment about 'who on earth watches the house-elves?' There was just no sense in picking on Harry for something like that. It was slightly interesting why Malfoy brought Dobby at all, as it was uncommon to bring your elf out of the house at all.

And then Sirius' mouth really did flop open in horror. Glancing up, he saw the others were as well.

"It, he-" Lily began unable to form that thought, it was just too awful to imagine.

"It was Malfoy," Harry howled in outrage, "he gave that diary to Ginny! That day at Flourish and Blotts when he gave Ginny back her Transfiguration book, he slipped it in there! I knew it, I knew something foul had just happened, but I couldn't remember." He ran out of steam, but was still simmering below shouting levels as he glared vehemently at the book, mostly hating on himself right now. Last year he hadn't remembered that Quirrell was the one doing all of this, this year it was his fault his family had been sitting in the dark when he had remembered such crucial information like this...

"Hey," Lily said pointedly, tapping Harry on the temple gently until he turned her eyes back on her, "we just talked about this love. You cannot go blaming yourself every time you forget these things. What Malfoy did is the worst, the most awful thing I can ever imagine-" she paused for a moment, and turned away so Harry wouldn't see the downright murderous look on her face. Harry was stunned silent himself when he realized the last time he'd seen all of them look like this was because of the way the Dursley's treated him, but then Lily kept going, "but we're going to handle it. I promise, we'll never let this type of thing happen to Ginny, or anyone else, now that we know how to fix it."

Harry nodded, feeling the tension roll right out of him once again. He seemed to have a hard time staying angry in this room.

Sirius went on again, hoping dearly Dumbledore would pick up on this, and send Malfoy to Azkaban for the rest of his no good life.

They all continued to mutter more foul things in that moment then many of them had said in their life. For someone to put this type of thing on a child, it was the worst thing any person could even think of doing! The act itself was seriously putting a strain on their 'wait until this is over' to go and kill Malfoy now, because he wasn't even a child. He was a full grown man right now, probably taking orders from Voldemort about doing other unspeakable things to people.

The only thing really stopping them was Harry, who despite how peeved he looked right along with them, was also giving the door covert looks, like if one single person made for it he'd spring up and tell them all over again to wait it out. None of them still understood why, but they trusted him enough to believe him.

The book really did slip from Sirius' grasp then, a look of the utmost outrage crossing his features as he said quietly, "Is he implying, that Malfoy went and pulled this stunt, just to get rid of that?!"

He looked so deranged in that moment, Harry had a very disquieting feeling that at one point, Sirius really did scare him. That was ridiculous though...right?

"Of all the-" Sirius made to keep going, but James cut him off gently by saying, "we know Sirius. He's a horrible waste of a human being, but we still can't do anything about it, not yet anyways," he finished prominently. Sirius was still scowling and grumbling as he picked the book back up and made to continue, only Remus and Lily having noticed Harry watching him curiously.

"I'm sure he was just imagining them all bloody year," Sirius couldn't help but growl, but this time he managed to restrain himself so that he could keep going.

"That poor thing," Lily moaned, "I want to be able to do something for him."

Sirius opened, then closed his mouth swiftly. Now that he knew this thing belonged to the Malfoys, something very odd was happening to him, he pitied it. While Dobby had done a lot of awful things to Harry this year, he had also gone out of his way, against his Master's views of the world even, to try and help Harry in his own twisted little way. Sirius had always thought House-elves were just the slaves of families, and the creatures would always just be the same horrible type that the family that owned them was. Yet here was Dobby, a creature owned by the worst type of Wizard, who had tried to save Harry's life? It had officially skewed his whole opinion on the matter, but he also noted he had been silent too long in thinking about this.

Since he didn't fully know where he stood on the matter anymore, he ignored the others' inquires and read loudly.

Then they all groaned in hate. "So does this mean Malfoy's not even going to be punished for this?" James demanded of nothing.

"I thought I hated the Government before this," Sirius grumbled, "and my opinion of it just keeps going down."

This time, no one could think of anything to say to the contrary. For someone to get away with attempted mass murder like this was repugnant to the extreme, not to mention the other injustices done this year against Hagrid.

The ministry was clearly just as skewed then as it was now, except then they couldn't blame Voldemort for the way they were acting. The people in power clearly didn't need to be there.

"Anymore," Lily muttered, "how about we try punishing him for this crime now!"

"I have the utmost faith you sure will," Remus tried to pacify her, which didn't really work that well since technically, Malfoy hadn't really committed the crime yet.

"What I want to know is how he got that," James growled. "I still don't understand how this thing even works, how did he make it?"

Harry opened, then closed his mouth, he seemed to be having some odd feelings about those questions, but by now he knew better then to answer. It was something very important though, something about how Malfoy wasn't the one who'd made this... it was gone and he had nothing as always.

"Try it," Sirius snapped, "just try and curse Dumbledore, and I will die of happy laughter when he curses you into oblivion."

James gave his best friend a haughty look for his choice of words, but Sirius didn't seem to notice.

All five of them genuinely winced in sympathy that time, wishing that Dobby would get some kind of reward for his efforts, bad as some of the results were.

"Oh this should be fun," James said weakly as he saw the bright eyed look across Harry's face.

"What did you think of?" Lily asked eagerly.

Harry however, pursed his lips and still wasn't able to hid his grin as he said, "No, I want you guys to see this one play out."

"Aw come on," Sirius whined, "we've been doing that all year, please!"

Harry hesitated, before finally admitting the idea he had. Causing everyone in the room to burst into righteous laughter. Praying that it would work, Sirius read eagerly.

All five of them were leaning forward, more than eager to hear if this worked, and a little uneasy it hadn't outright said what Harry had been hoping would happen...

Sirius cut himself off with a look of pure disgust at what he had just read, but ignored the comment for now. The lovely vision of all the curses he could send at Malfoy soothing him enough to keep reading and find out what was going to happen to Dobby.

"Meddlesome?" Lily repeated curiously, "I don't really see how it's a bad thing to be concerned with other people."

"I doubt that's the way he meant it love," James grinned, "and I don't care." Nothing a Death Eater could say about him could really sting too much, considering how little he of thought of their kind anyways.

"Yes!" They all cried happily.

Lily gave Sirius a look of genuine surprise as she asked, "I'm surprised Sirius, I thought you'd be outraged by Harry's trick."

"Oh please," he snorted, "I can't blame Harry for what he did. Dobby clearly isn't anything like my old elf, and the little guy deserved to be away from those Malfoy's. I wouldn't wish that on any elf."

Harry was beaming, looking genuinely happy Sirius had come around to this way of thinking, while the others gave him approving looks, happy to see he could put that kind of thing behind him.

Remus couldn't help but furrow his brow in worry, thinking that technically Malfoy hadn't given Dobby that sock. He had cast it off to the side, and Dobby had caught it. If it was so easy, why on earth hadn't Dobby ever just waltzed down to the laundry room and grabbed hold of any of the Malfoys' clothes and said 'hey, they tossed these down here and now Dobby's free?' *He had always thought that you had to give the elf clothes with the express intent of freeing the elf, so did this count? Were they celebrating too early? Then again, he had heard of the idea that wizards magically do something to clothes so that elf's can't just pick up any random bit of clothing and state 'I'm free.'** Dobby had already just disobeyed a direct order from Malfoy, and hadn't come to him. He dearly wanted to pry into this subject further, but admitted now wasn't the time or place and he and Lily could sit around and have a real discussion about it later.

"He did what?" The three without the book screeched in outrage.

"As if I didn't want him dead before," Sirius growled, "now he's actually moving to attack you?!"

Harry however, was suddenly grinning like a fool as he said, "this is it! Dobby protects me, I'm sure of it. This is why I forgave him for all that stuff he did!" As sure as he was though, he still begged Sirius to keep going so that he could know he was right, and get the details of this.

As outraged as they still were, they were all just as curious to hear about this.

"Ha!" They all cheered, finding this small repentance for what he truly deserved.

"Hope it hurt," James grumbled.

Lily was almost doing a little happy dance in place, giggling like a toddler herself at the mental image of a 'high and mighty' wizard being taken down by the little elf he had been abusing! Oh that was sweet justice if she ever heard it.

"Tail between his legs," Remus said in a sing song voice, indulging in that mental image happily.

"This almost makes up for the fact he didn't go to Azkaban for that stunt," James cackled, "because this is just priceless."

"A fair trade honestly," Sirius grinned, then they all caught sight of Harry frowning curiously. Why though, what could cause Harry to vaguely remember something about this promise? None of them had any more idea than Harry himself, so they didn't ask him about it when he didn't volunteer the question.

"I was wondering that to," Remus nodded, "and it was really bothering me."

"Glad I asked then," Harry chuckled.

"That..." James began before trailing off in disbelief.

"-is the most inept clue ever," Sirius finished, looking torn between laughing or getting angry. He decided on laughter, not wanting to be mad at the elf just then since he was still so giddy for his actions just now.

Remus and Lily were both shaking their heads indulgently, wondering how on earth anyone was supposed to understand that, but letting it go realizing it hardly mattered now.

"Good luck," James said happily, rather curious about Dobby and what happened to him. He very much hoped Harry would find out.

"Now there's some originality," Remus chuckled happily.

"Good of him to admit it," Lily nodded with approval.

"She would be upset," James grinned.

"What about OWL's and NEWT's?" Lily frowned. "You can't just cancel those, you need honest grades."

"They still had to take those," Harry shrugged, "but, you know, they were delayed and I think given a bit of slack because of this year."

"Must be nice," Sirius laughed.

"I'm sure the whole of Hogwarts was just heartbroken," Remus snickered.

All five of them burst into renewed laughter at this, unable to blame those teachers one bit.

Sirius agreed, saying, "yeah, it might really have been fun to shove him in a classroom and see how he did teaching with no sense, oh wait he was already doing that."

"Hope you get someone even semi decent next year," James sighed miserably, wishing this stupid taboo would leave the post already.

"Best news ever!" Sirius cried happily.

"I'll agree with you on that one," the others all nodded.

"And I hope he stays that way, annoying little twat," James muttered, his good mood not even slightly dampened.

"Just glad there's no lasting effects on her," Lily agreed happily.

The longer Sirius read, the more upset he was getting again. He had been thoroughly enjoying the end of Harry's year, but now he was going back to those dreaded Dursley's again, and none of them had any reason to think they'd be any happier seeing Harry this time around. Couldn't Harry just move in with Ron already!? Knowing this wasn't going to happen, he just decided to get it over with.

"Sweet," James grinned, "so we do at least get to find this out!"

Remus released a snort of mirth that went unheard in the following laughing fit.

"Oh don't," Lily frowned at all of the boys who were laughing like idiots, "it's not that funny."

"No, it's not," Sirius agreed, wiping a tear away, "but as it's Percy the pompous jerk, it's hilarious."

Lily rolled her eyes at these boys, and snapped at Sirius that he needed to get over this and keep going. Sirius didn't look very eager, he had more than appreciated this little distraction from Harry having to go back, but read on anyways.

"Aw," Remus grinned, "so I was right. He did know her personally, which is why he was particularly upset by her petrification."

"That really is adorable," James agreed without any malice, clearly this girl could put up with Percy's attitude which made her a pretty tolerable girl even without knowing her personally.

"If they're any kind of good brother's they most certainly will," James disagreed full heartedly.

"Makes me almost happy you don't have siblings," Lily snorted at him.

"I resent that," Sirius pouted, "since James basically adopted me at some point."

"I'll back that up," James agreed.

Remus and Lily exchanged amused looks, but didn't argue the point.

"There's the proper reaction," Sirius told Lily as if he was educating on a very important matter, to which Lily ignored him further.

"Now there's a good idea," Remus brightened at once.

While they all looked rather happy at Harry's trying to keep in contact with his friends over the summer, it made a whole new kind of sadness come on all over again. They were all dreading having to hear any more horrid things about what those putrid Muggles were going to do to Harry, and a phone call just wasn't going to cut it if they started trying to imprison Harry all over again. Then they consoled themselves that, at least if they did, Ron would show up and rescue him all over again. He'd just need to use something other than a flying car this time.

They still smiled sadly at this, glad Harry was still trying his hardest to keep in contact with his friends.

Sirius released a bark like laughter that held no real amusement that time.

"And he's not even kidding," Remus huffed in disgust.

"That's it," Sirius huffed, tossing the book away, not at all pleased it had ended with him going back to those muggles, but admitting it could have been worse.

They all stretched as they made to get up, but then Harry suddenly asked, "what did Riddle mean by werewolf cubs?"

"Oh that," Sirius gave an actual chuckle, albite still too dark to be his normal tone, though this could be put to his hatred of werewolf ignorance. "Just a bigot joke I suppose. It's not possible for that to be a real thing. Werewolves aren't born, they're created. A werewolf has to bite another person for the contagion to occur."

"Besides," Remus butted in, trying his very hardest to keep the self-hatred out of his voice, "my kind don't breed, so the term itself is kind of null and void."

"I hate it when you say it like that," James told him with a straight face. "'My kind'. You're not a 'kind' Remus, you are a person."

Remus rolled his eyes good naturedly, but didn't correct him. He phrased it that way to generalize, he had long since given up the argument that he was no longer 'technically' one hundred percent human. James, Sirius, and Peter always gave him hell if he said anything to the contrary.

"What about Nick?" Lily asked Harry curiously. "Ever find out who fixed him?"

"The Grey Lady," Harry answered. "I heard Flitwick explaining that to another student. Yeah, apparently she went in there and did something to the potion, making it able for Nick to drink it. Some ghostly secret. Why it worked on a potion, and wouldn't work on food or anything I've no idea."

"The same reason we know nothing about the other weird things about ghosts," Sirius shrugged, "they don't like sharing."

James nodded, glad his son seemed able to find out all of these small little details that would have driven him crazy if he hadn't had a way to find out, and then he asked curiously, knowing by now his son had a habit of storing up questions, "anything else you want to know before we get to bed?"

"Yes," he answered quickly, catching Sirius' eye, "did something happen between you and the ministry?" He was recalling that odd moment when Hagrid was arrested, and his father's and Remus' comments.

Sirius rolled his eyes in disgust as he explained, "about a month ago, some Auror's came over to my place and tried to arrest me, on the grounds that some Muggles had been attacked in my area. That was it, they went by my name being in the area of Muggles and decided I was guilty enough they could just arrest me for it. Bloody wankers," he trailed off muttering a few more words he'd spoken at the time.

"I showed up while this was happening," Remus butted in, at least cutting off his cursing, "and managed to be his alibi, as if he even needed one. Guess I'm just lucky they accepted it at all, and didn't arrest me just for being there."

James was frowning at both of them, Sirius for the injustice done to him, and Remus for his snide comment which could have been all too real. This injustice against both of his friends was one of the main reasons he was training to be an Auror, he was sick of the prejudices and injustice committed by people in power, and was hoping he could help make some kind of difference.

"And what about those messages on the wall?" Lily asked curiously. "Did they ever come down?"

"Nope," Harry responded for sure this time, "as far as I'm aware they never could find a way to get them down."

That's awful," Lily groaned, "for that kind of reminder to be stuck there forever."

"Why wouldn't they go away?" Harry asked.

"It depends on what was even used to put it up there," Sirius said, "some things are cursed so that they just can't be removed, some types of blood for instance."

Remus asked this time, "so who explained about Ron's broken wand blowing up then?"

"Oh yeah," Harry said in remembrance now. "It was Dumbledore, he asked me and Ron for more details later on what happened to Lockhart. Then he explained something about how that much magic, being used through a broken wand, made the core explode or something. The improper use of the wand over such an extended period of time, we were lucky it hadn't happened sooner."

"Well, I still don't regret who it did happen to," James chuckled.

They all mulled around for a bit longer, just talking and enjoying each other's company. It was only as Harry nearly cracked his jaw on the next yawn that they all decided it was high time they go to bed. As Remus began climbing the stairs, he made some vague comment to Sirius about how next year, Harry just had to have a nice, peaceful year. This year might have ended on a semi happy note, but they still felt like the books were watching them, laughing at their delusion that Harry might get one year of peace.

* * *

Finally! I am so happy to have been able to complete two books in a row now, I'm bouncing around my room even as I type this...okay I'm calmer now. Next is the book I know you've all been waiting for, and trust me I've been just as anxious to start. All kinds of ideas for their reactions have been buzzing around since the first book, so I can guarantee the next book is going to be churning out fast. Glad you're all still enjoying this series as much as I am.

P.s. If there were any random questions, or thing's I didn't explain, or just something you'd like to hear me try and explain, let me know and I'll work it into the story.

Thoughts on Chamber of Secrets:

This book successfully takes what happened in the first book, and keeps building on it. This mystery is even better then the last one, and with only three new places Harry visits, the book feels even more flowing and interactive, like JK took her time to delve into and give even more unbelievable detail to the world she'd created. The mystery is beautiful, with plenty of twists you won't see until the very end and so well set up you don't even see it coming. I know this is a lot of people's least favorite book, but I can't really figure out why as there are far more humours and good moments in this one then another book I'll get to later. Third favorite of the series, 10/10, could not ask for a better follow up.

*Another random thing of note that isn't exactly important, but still drives me crazy to this day. Why on earth did that count as Dobby being free? This exact set of circumstances had never happened before, where one of the Malfoy's just happened to throw an article of clothing away and Dobby was in the room and didn't catch it, and that didn't count? If any of you have any suggestions, I'd love to hear them.

**My favorite solution offered up by Narutofan8762 who basically said what every plot hole in this series deserves, because magic.


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